Mormon Doorknockers

GuppyShark · Post by **GuppyShark** » 2006-03-23 11:38pm

Heh.

Kojiro is currently debating some Mormon doorknockers. Suddenly, they don't seem as happy to be here as they did when they first arrived.

Superman · Post by **Superman** » 2006-03-23 11:43pm

GuppyShark wrote:Heh.

Kojiro is currently debating some Mormon doorknockers. Suddenly, they don't seem as happy to be here as they did when they first arrived.

I had a couple corner me just a few days ago here in my apartment complex. I just mentioned that I have a BOM of my own, and know a few things about their religion. They then asked if they could come in my apartment. I asked them to back off a little, and they did.

I think I've become convinced that debating them is really just engaging their pathology. Some even seem to crave and feed off of attention...

SirNitram · Post by **SirNitram** » 2006-03-24 12:17am

Hose. It always kept the JW away, it'll keep Mormons back. Especially if you have one of those nice heads which have a variety of sprays. Set it for the flat plane of water and nail the entire group.

Kojiro · Post by **Kojiro** » 2006-03-24 12:32am

Gah. Steal my topic Guppy.

Seriously though I don't know much about the BoM and any great flaws in the actual text. Much of what I had to go at them with was more christian and simple philosophy. I'm going to sit down and have a read at some point of my shiny new book o' crazy they left but if anyone's got any zingers to throw specifically at mormons please throw them my way.

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2006-03-24 12:54am

Rebecca got rid of some Mormons by asking them to explain to her why the entire Mormon Quorum of Twelve is "old white men". They said they'd get back to her with an answer, and they never returned.

wolveraptor · Post by **wolveraptor** » 2006-03-24 01:19am

Man, I'd love it if religious prosetylizers came to my door. You could totally shit with them and quote South Park episodes that make fun of their religion. "Jospeph Smith...DUM DUM!"

Dark Hellion · Post by **Dark Hellion** » 2006-03-24 02:37am

Or you can always do the old tried and true answer the door naked routine. Works even better if you can convince your S.O. to do so with you, make it a couples activity.

Imperial Overlord · Post by **Imperial Overlord** » 2006-03-24 04:00am

Darth Wong wrote:Rebecca got rid of some Mormons by asking them to explain to her why the entire Mormon Quorum of Twelve is "old white men". They said they'd get back to her with an answer, and they never returned.

That's great.

JointStrikeFighter · Post by **JointStrikeFighter** » 2006-03-24 04:23am

Greatest ever I was over my friends place when some JW's came to the door. My friends dad andwered the door and invited them in as he was just about to sacrife a goat to satan.

They didn't come in.

Post by **Broomstick** » 2006-03-24 06:17am

Back some many years ago, my Other Half (before he was my other half) was being pestered by Mormons. So he got some sort of critter tail (fox or raccoon, like the tail off a Davy Crocket hat), put some stage blood on it, and the next time they rang the doorbell he went to the door with it, said sure, he'd be willing to talk with them. Just come on it, it would be a few minutes before he finished up the animal sacrifice - by the way, would they like to join in ---

And that's about when they ran off. Never bothered him again for some reason.

Then there was the college roommate of one of my sisters, who owned a five foot boa. The woman was one of those very bright people who are nonetheless not quite connected to reality the same way other people are. She'd be holding the snake, the doorbell would ring, she'd answer the door with the snake still wrapped around her arms/wrists/hands, and couldn't quite get why people would run off screaming. A nice side effect of all that was that they were seldom bothered by prostelytizers or political campaign workers.

Guardsman Bass · Post by **Guardsman Bass** » 2006-03-24 12:00pm

The easiest way is a firm "not interested," although it might be helpful to ask them if this was a random doorknock, or if somebody referred them to you.

Debating them seriously is another way to get them to leave. I remember hearing, back when I still went to Mormon Church, that the missionaries were strongly discouraged during training from getting into arguments with Christians who would "bible-bash them".

Wyrm · Post by **Wyrm** » 2006-03-24 12:14pm

Darth Wong wrote:Rebecca got rid of some Mormons by asking them to explain to her why the entire Mormon Quorum of Twelve is "old white men". They said they'd get back to her with an answer, and they never returned.

Heh. My mother could tell you a similar story. She got rid of some Mormons (I think they were Mormons) by, at the end of their spiel, asking them this question: "Why would I want to join a religion that would treat me like a second-class citizen?"

Needless to say, they didn't have an answer for her. I can just imagine the 'I just had me balls cut off' look on their faces, though.

drachefly · Post by **drachefly** » 2006-03-24 12:38pm

A mormon door-knocker? I suppose mormons also have knockers on their doors.... oooh.

One of the nice things about being in an apartment building is less door-to-door people.

Big Phil · Post by **Big Phil** » 2006-03-24 01:00pm

Highly overprotective Rottweilers work well at keeping all sorts of people away, including Mormons, Jehovah's Witnesses, and unforunately, the UPS guy...

Kitsune · Post by **Kitsune** » 2006-03-24 01:26pm

Wyrm wrote:Heh. My mother could tell you a similar story. She got rid of some Mormons (I think they were Mormons) by, at the end of their spiel, asking them this question: "Why would I want to join a religion that would treat me like a second-class citizen?"

Question is "Wht do people do it?"

Lord Pounder · Post by **Lord Pounder** » 2006-03-24 09:34pm

Kitsune wrote:
Wyrm wrote:Heh. My mother could tell you a similar story. She got rid of some Mormons (I think they were Mormons) by, at the end of their spiel, asking them this question: "Why would I want to join a religion that would treat me like a second-class citizen?"
Question is "Wht do people do it?"

Lack of self esteem and wanting to be part of something larger than themselves? Humans are mostly pack animals afterall.

Kitsune · Post by **Kitsune** » 2006-03-24 09:44pm

Lord Pounder wrote: Lack of self esteem and wanting to be part of something larger than themselves? Humans are mostly pack animals afterall.

The reason why I ask is becuase I have a niece who is a Mormon.
I consider her to be "Smarter" than I am and certainly her grammer is far better than mine

Still, I have never understood wanting to become a Mormon and the obvious contrictions.

Stuart Mackey · Post by **Stuart Mackey** » 2006-03-24 09:51pm

JW or BW {I cannot tell the difference} knock on the door.
I say: Sorry, I am an atheist.
BW/JW" What if we could prove to you there is a god?"
Me" What if I could prove to you that there is a non-corporial, pink, invisible floating dragon in my garage?"

They made their excuses and left

Spetulhu · Post by **Spetulhu** » 2006-03-25 12:53am

drachefly wrote:A mormon door-knocker? I suppose mormons also have knockers on their doors.... oooh.

One of the nice things about being in an apartment building is less door-to-door people.

I've got an electrical doorbell without batteries. People are free to press it all day.

SylasGaunt · Post by **SylasGaunt** » 2006-03-25 02:50am

I wonder what sort of reaction you'd get with.. "Of course I believe in God. Pretty daft thing not to believe in yourself."

Pick · Post by **Pick** » 2006-03-25 03:15am

SylasGaunt wrote:I wonder what sort of reaction you'd get with.. "Of course I believe in God. Pretty daft thing not to believe in yourself."

Or, "I jerk off to visions of Christ every night. *heavy breathing and lopsided smile*"

Lusankya · Post by **Lusankya** » 2006-03-25 05:24am

My friend scared some Jehovah's Witnesses off a while ago by offering them too much hospitality. She invited them into her kitchen, acted all insane and bouncy (which is normal for her), and kept on insisting that they stay. In the end they snuck off while she was in the toilet.

ROAR!!!!! says GOJIRA!!!!!

Trytostaydead · Post by **Trytostaydead** » 2006-03-25 10:50am

I feel lucky I've never had any of those door knockers.

Knife · Post by **Knife** » 2006-03-25 12:32pm

Kitsune wrote:
Lord Pounder wrote: Lack of self esteem and wanting to be part of something larger than themselves? Humans are mostly pack animals afterall.
The reason why I ask is becuase I have a niece who is a Mormon.
I consider her to be "Smarter" than I am and certainly her grammer is far better than mine

Still, I have never understood wanting to become a Mormon and the obvious contrictions.

Living deep in the enemy territory as I do, my take on it is most join/active for a sense of 'belonging'. A vast majority of people here in Zion are mormon and they all do 'mormon things' and not just on Sunday. Monday night family nights, wendsday night goofoff night, church fundraisers, church dances, church activities, seasonal activities (then one pisses me off, when half the neighborhood takes off on halloween and sets up shop in the church parking lot to do 'trunk or treat' at the damn church), etc.

These people intertwine their lives so much in 'church culture' than anyone outside that wants to interact with them have a hard time. The church goer just doesn't have much free time left over from church activities to 'hang out' with non-goers.

Thats my take.

OT; Ive done the 'go to the door naked' one as well as others. I've fought them off for so many years, a chunk rudely, that I have some kind of missionary invisible curse sign above my house that warns the poor souls not to knock.

Post by **LadyTevar** » 2006-03-25 01:29pm

While there are many Bad Things about my ex-husband, there was one thing that did amuse me.

Whenever he found out that the JW or Mormons were walking around the neighborhood, he would go out and start a campfire in the firepit outdoors, put on his kilt and his chainmail, and sit outside by the fire sharpening/polishing his swords with Manowar blaring from the stereo.

This kept them away, quite handily.

If he didn't find out until they were knocking on the door, his mother (yes, she lived with us) would invite them in and spend the next three hours debating with them using her Bible, her copy of the Book of Mormon, and her Encyclopeia of the Bible. For all her faults, God rest her, that woman knew her religion, and they would be forced to leave because she knew more about the Bible and the Book than they did.

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