I can never look at Zelda the same way again.

Praxis · Post by **Praxis** » 2006-03-26 12:53am

There are no words to describe my pain.

Zelda CD-i Endings

I knew they were bad...but...I just couldn't imagine...

Master of Ossus · Post by **Master of Ossus** » 2006-03-26 12:59am

Good GOD that was awful. Especially the second one. WTF?!?!?!

Praxis · Post by **Praxis** » 2006-03-26 01:03am

Even more, including the intros

For those who don't know, (I may have gotten the full story wrong, this is AFAIK) Phillips collaborated with Nintendo on a SNES CD attachment that eventually just ended up making their own system, the CDi, and ended up with the license to make a few Nintendo franchise games. They made Hotel Mario and three Zelda games, widely regarded as the worst games ever created in the series. Most of us fans of Zelda pretend they don't exist. Nintendo had nothing to do with the games.

It pains me to have watched these videos.

The intro to Faces of Evil is downright terrible. As is the Wand of Gamelon.
"Oh boy! I'm so hungry, I could eat an Octorok!"

18-Till-I-Die · Post by **18-Till-I-Die** » 2006-03-26 01:07am

"It burns!"

Yes. Yes it does.

DarkSilver · Post by **DarkSilver** » 2006-03-26 01:16am

.Praxis....

why did you bring these.....abominations to the Light?

I apox upon your house, for a thousand generations...

Master of Ossus · Post by **Master of Ossus** » 2006-03-26 01:23am

Praxis wrote:The intro to Faces of Evil is downright terrible. As is the Wand of Gamelon.
"Oh boy! I'm so hungry, I could eat an Octorok!"

Dude, what is WRONG with Link. "The King's going off by himself to fight Gannon. What's for dinner?"

And later, "That old Gannon's no match for the King!"

"Link, go to Gamelon and find my father."

"Great! I can't wait to bomb some Dadangos(?)!"

Is he high, or something?

Spanky The Dolphin · Post by **Spanky The Dolphin** » 2006-03-26 01:23am

God damn.

Noble Ire · Post by **Noble Ire** » 2006-03-26 01:46am

....the fuck?

Horrible, horrible animation aside, am I the only one mystified as to how those could be the final levels of the games? I've seen training missions of games that are more difficult than that. A cheat, or are they just that dreadful in game-play too?

Praxis · Post by **Praxis** » 2006-03-26 01:46am

Master of Ossus wrote:
Praxis wrote:The intro to Faces of Evil is downright terrible. As is the Wand of Gamelon.
"Oh boy! I'm so hungry, I could eat an Octorok!"
Dude, what is WRONG with Link. "The King's going off by himself to fight Gannon. What's for dinner?"

And later, "That old Gannon's no match for the King!"

"Link, go to Gamelon and find my father."

"Great! I can't wait to bomb some Dadangos(?)!"

Is he high, or something?

No, the script writers, developers, and voice actors were.

Horrible, horrible animation aside, am I the only one mystified as to how those could be the final levels of the games? I've seen training missions of games that are more difficult than that. A cheat, or are they just that dreadful in game-play too?

Well, that explains why they are widely considered the worst Zelda games ever created.

Erik von Nein · Post by **Erik von Nein** » 2006-03-26 01:48am

Oh, man. That's some hedious animation. Where the makes all going through crack withdrawls or something? It's like they couldn't draw a straight line to save their lives.

Stark · Post by **Stark** » 2006-03-26 02:01am

Say it with me. DODONGO DISLIKES FIRE, DODONGO DISLIKES FIRE...

Never link to this again... Lolz, pun.

Spanky The Dolphin · Post by **Spanky The Dolphin** » 2006-03-26 02:04am

Stark wrote:Say it with me. DODONGO DISLIKES FIRE, DODONGO DISLIKES FIRE...

Never link to this again... Lolz, pun.

*slap*

"DODONGO DISLIKE SMOKE" Bitch.

Stark · Post by **Stark** » 2006-03-26 02:15am

But... but... I'd just watched the CDi films... I wasn't ... give me another chance!

Ford Prefect · Post by **Ford Prefect** » 2006-03-26 02:22am

Now my brains are coming out! The opening to Wand of Gamelon was heinous. They didn't move like people, but rather like living jelly in the shape of men.

And Ganon went down like a punk. Thank Miyamoto we have Wind Waker Ganondorf to make up for that aberation.

Morilore · Post by **Morilore** » 2006-03-26 02:25am

"NOOO! Not into the pit! It BUUUURNS!!!"

Spanky The Dolphin · Post by **Spanky The Dolphin** » 2006-03-26 02:37am

What I seriously don't get is simply how bad the animation is for the intros and endings. I don't think anything could really explain how poor they are, even things like incompotence or that they just didn't give a shit: it almost seems the product of hostility for the material.

I mean really, what the fuck? The King's facial expressions (especially his mouth) borderline on psychotic. Zelda has probably the most basic and underdetailed character design I've ever seen. The characters zoom in and out like they're on a dolly track, and I don't think I've seen so much vouging outside of a Madonna video...

Pick · Post by **Pick** » 2006-03-26 03:32am

The only thing I could think when watching this is it was like an especially retarded version of Reading Rainbow.

Utsanomiko · Post by **Utsanomiko** » 2006-03-26 03:44am

It looks like what I'd expect if some idiot was trying to create a Flight of Dragons fan porn animation with Flash.

Sharpshooter · Post by **Sharpshooter** » 2006-03-26 03:49am

Good god, these make the Star Wars Christmass Special and Plan 9 From Outer Space pale in comparison. I can't even watch the bloody things - five seconds after the cinima for the first one started, I practically jumped to get the pointer to close the window.

Post by **fgalkin** » 2006-03-26 03:57am

Can't stop laughing....

Seriously, this goes straight to the top of the "so bad it's good" category.

Have a very nice day.
-fgalkin

Erik von Nein · Post by **Erik von Nein** » 2006-03-26 04:12am

fgalkin wrote:Can't stop laughing....

Seriously, this goes straight to the top of the "so bad it's good" category.

Have a very nice day.
-fgalkin

You're a sick and disturbed individual!

Dooey Jo · Post by **Dooey Jo** » 2006-03-26 05:31am

WTF are they doing when they're talking? Waving their arms around like maniacs... WTF...

Why aren't there any videos from Zelda's Adventure, which featured FMVs? Wonder if the actors did the same thing there

DPDarkPrimus · Post by **DPDarkPrimus** » 2006-03-26 05:49am

"Pretend they're not part of the series" nothin'. They weren't made by or released by Nintendo, so they're not part of the Zelda series.

Pezzoni · Post by **Pezzoni** » 2006-03-26 05:57am

Morilore wrote:
"NOOO! Not into the pit! It BUUUURNS!!!"

I laughed so much at that

That was terrible.

Star-Blighter · Post by **Star-Blighter** » 2006-03-26 06:34am

Dooey Jo wrote:WTF are they doing when they're talking? Waving their arms around like maniacs... WTF...

A common shortcut in animation since drawing subtle and well detailed movements is virtual agony in most cases. Its called "Milking the Giant Cow".

Praxis, for this you are most definatly going to hell and I'm taking you there.

GET HIM!!!