The Sopranos on Creationism

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Elfdart
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The Sopranos on Creationism

Post by Elfdart »

They just posted this at Crooks And Liars:

http://www.crooksandliars.com/2006/04/05.html#a7793
This was pretty hysterical. On HBO's The Sopranos, while Tony is recovering from a gunshot wound, he was visited by an Evangelical-Bob Brewster-armed with Chuck Colson book-told him that Dinosaurs lived with people and evolution is the agent of the Devil. Tony who is starting to look into the after life because of his near death experience is fairly receptive to the thought.
and
Brewster: Evolution, which is Satan's plan to deny God. Evolution and salvation are mutually exclusive.

Christopher analyses the situation in his typical fashion.

Christopher: What's he saying? There were Dinosaurs back with Adam and Eve?

Tony: I guess.

Christopher : No way. T-Rex in the Garden of Eden-Adam and Eve would be running all the time-scared shitless, but the Bible says it was paradise.
:lol:
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Admiral Valdemar
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Post by Admiral Valdemar »

That's a morbid, yet, hilarious thought of a T. rex in the garden, chasing God's prototype humans day and night.
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Grand Moff Yenchin
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Post by Grand Moff Yenchin »

Admiral Valdemar wrote:That's a morbid, yet, hilarious thought of a T. rex in the garden, chasing God's prototype humans day and night.
[creationist]No they were herbivores at that time[/creationist]
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Post by Fire Fly »

Evangelicals....great freinds of the Jews...you're just a part of God's Solution, aka The Rapture.
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Darth Raptor
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Post by Darth Raptor »

Grand Moff Yenchin wrote:[creationist]No they were herbivores at that time[/creationist]
I cannot get over how fucking retarded that idea is. The thing is, Creationists are forced to acknowledge that some organisms' entire morphology and physiology is built around killing. Not just superpredators like Tyrannosaurus, but extant creatures too. What about a spider makes sense without carnivory? Or a shark? Creationists explain this in one of two ways. The first is a copout by saying there were no predators in Eden. The second is even more ridiculous: The Fall caused massive mutations in otherwise beneign and beneficial organisms. Some animals became carnivores and some plants became weeds, all to make life suck for humans.
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Alyeska
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Post by Alyeska »

Massive mutations, as in... EVOLUTION!

Now isn't that funny. :lol:
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Post by Sriad »

Darth Raptor wrote:
Grand Moff Yenchin wrote:[creationist]No they were herbivores at that time[/creationist]
I cannot get over how fucking retarded that idea is. The thing is, Creationists are forced to acknowledge that some organisms' entire morphology and physiology is built around killing. Not just superpredators like Tyrannosaurus, but extant creatures too. What about a spider makes sense without carnivory? Or a shark? Creationists explain this in one of two ways. The first is a copout by saying there were no predators in Eden. The second is even more ridiculous: The Fall caused massive mutations in otherwise beneign and beneficial organisms. Some animals became carnivores and some plants became weeds, all to make life suck for humans.
That's because God KNEW the fall was gonna happen (in spite of free will. He can do that because he's God!) so Tyrannasaurs, sharks, lions, etc were designed to eat meat, but didn't because all things lived in a state of grace until Eve fucked it up... by eating an apple that a snake (snakes being a member of the set: "All things, living in a state of grace" btw) told her she should.

... :lol:
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Darth Raptor
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Post by Darth Raptor »

Alyeska wrote:Massive mutations, as in... EVOLUTION!

Now isn't that funny. :lol:
Not as funny as the SPECIATION they claim happened after the baseline cat and horse got off the Ark. :P
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Post by Lagmonster »

Just in case *anybody* doubts that creationists are unbelievably crazy, I once knew a fellow who tried to convince me that no living thing had sex until after they were booted out of the garden, because, you know, sex is dirty. When asked how early creatures procreated? "Immaculate conception for animals who were truly in perfect love with their mates" was his answer.

You hear that? God's paradise includes females walking around with gemmules or some wierd shit. You love some woman enough in heaven, *BAM*, she's carrying. Imagine that, a guy spends his whole life being a chaste monk, gets through the rapture, and is reborn in God's perfect paradise, and winds up having to think about Hitler fucking a kitten all day to avoid dozens of child support payments.
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