An intervention for Nintendo fanboys and fanbois in general

Spanky The Dolphin · Post by **Spanky The Dolphin** » 2006-04-10 01:58am

Shit, I keep forgetting that Pointless Waste of Time is just some Maddox clone scrote that's more or less always full of shit...

Praxis · Post by **Praxis** » 2006-04-10 01:58am

mizuno wrote: I predict that the revolution will disappoint serious gamers, they're not nintendo's intended market anymore. And I'll bet most who post on this board will fall into this category

If the console is cheap and I get Metroid Prime 3 (it's the PERFECT FPS controller), an online Super Smash Bros, a new Mario platformer, and hundreds of downloadable classics... I CAN'T be disappointed. Nintendo would have to TRY to disappoint me by deliberately making Metroid Prime 3 suck.

mizuno · Post by **mizuno** » 2006-04-10 02:22am

And when the 3 or 4 games on the revolution that are worth a damn come out I'll head over to a friend's house to play em. There is no need for me to personally own one with so few games, just like the gamecube. Nintendo's major revolution does not involve us, don't get your expectations up so high that you set yourself up for major disappointment.

Praxis · Post by **Praxis** » 2006-04-10 02:38am

mizuno wrote:And when the 3 or 4 games on the revolution that are worth a damn come out I'll head over to a friend's house to play em. There is no need for me to personally own one with so few games, just like the gamecube. Nintendo's major revolution does not involve us, don't get your expectations up so high that you set yourself up for major disappointment.

"so few games"? We have estimates of twenty launch titles here, and Mario Kart and Zelda and Animal Crossing titles in development or preproduction as well as a new Nintendo IP and good third party support (Crystal Chronicles 2 with an actual storyline this time and online play, Red Steel, etc, for launch titles).

Post by **Ghost Rider** » 2006-04-10 02:41am

Oh yes, the opinions of people. Seriously, nothing riles a bunch of people to scream what's good or not, like games...well okay movies and books. Still hobbies we do in our spare time do shit that's asotunding in people in justifying their subjective love.

For me, I'm waiting for one game as I waited for every Nintendo system. If it's good, then I'll buy the system...if shit. Oh well.

Sean Gray · Post by **Sean Gray** » 2006-04-10 03:01am

Spanky The Dolphin wrote:Shit, I keep forgetting that Pointless Waste of Time is just some Maddox clone scrote that's more or less always full of shit...

Really? I always found this article to be absolutely fascinating. He raises a lot of very good points.

wautd · Post by **wautd** » 2006-04-10 03:24am

The "Amo Del Juego" cracked me up

Spanky The Dolphin · Post by **Spanky The Dolphin** » 2006-04-10 03:31am

Sean Gray wrote:
Spanky The Dolphin wrote:Shit, I keep forgetting that Pointless Waste of Time is just some Maddox clone scrote that's more or less always full of shit...
Really?

Yes, definately.

Star-Blighter · Post by **Star-Blighter** » 2006-04-10 08:29am

Even though I hate my 360, what with all the cries of what it can do (If you want to jump through shitloads of hoops, Live registration being one of them...) and yet doesn't do all that well, I must ask this question:

Which among you have been so fortunate as to find a remote, any remote that is intuitive? Every remote I've encountered, whether it be TV, stereo reciever, or radio has always required me to open the manual and dumb-fuck my way through mindboggling menu functions, buttons with hidden modes, and general electronic unpleasentness that I won't trouble you all with now.

Anyone worth his salt here knows about the various ergonomics arguements on this board and the real-life practicalities that ground the conclusions made. So, why should the Revolution "controller" be exempt? At first glance it has the ergonomic qualities of a phaser, which might as well be the exact oposite of ergonomic to begin with. I have no problem with the technology or its application, but why the living hell would anyone want to play games with the equivelent of a souped up channel clicker?!?

Its like argueing that a phaser has any merrit as a basis for gun design. Only the loonies will make that claim.Remotes belong firmly within the realm of "Armchair" and "Couch", not being waved about like fucking lightsabres.

ITS MADNESS!!!

Post by **Vympel** » 2006-04-10 10:02am

Anyone worth his salt here knows about the various ergonomics arguements on this board and the real-life practicalities that ground the conclusions made. So, why should the Revolution "controller" be exempt? At first glance it has the ergonomic qualities of a phaser, which might as well be the exact oposite of ergonomic to begin with. I have no problem with the technology or its application, but why the living hell would anyone want to play games with the equivelent of a souped up channel clicker?!?

Its like argueing that a phaser has any merrit as a basis for gun design. Only the loonies will make that claim.Remotes belong firmly within the realm of "Armchair" and "Couch", not being waved about like fucking lightsabres.

ITS MADNESS!!!

Crosshairs on the screen will alleviate most of the inherent craptasticness in that regard, methinks. Still doesn't make the idea any less retarded.

Daltonator · Post by **Daltonator** » 2006-04-10 01:12pm

The Revolution will be my first next-gen buy. I loved my GameCube; the game selection might not have been fantastic, but there are plenty of solid, quality titles for it.

Archaic` · Post by **Archaic`** » 2006-04-10 01:46pm

As far as ergonomics go, we should all remember that it's not an NES style brick controller. The bottom of this controller does have contours that reduce the ergonomic problems somewhat. Could probably be a bit more rounded on the edges, but I'm sure we'll see that with the 3rd party controllers anyway.

Shogoki · Post by **Shogoki** » 2006-04-10 01:54pm

This article is retarded, whoever wrote it is just as big a fanboy as any random rabid fanatic console troll you might find on a forum, he just pretends to be "higher than thou", and it's obviously on either the Sony or Xbox camp.

1. Brand loyalty is a mental illness

Agreed, for all consoles.

2. Pre-release hype lowers your IQ

The content actually reads: "Waa the controller is silly and just a gimmik, i dont like it and Red Steel is just a light gun game!! It's just Duck Hunt!!" which shows how much whoever wrote this knows about the topic.

Also, Nintendo is currently the most conservative mainstream videogame company, hype wise, they havent really said anything other than they're pushing for different gameplay options, which is obviously fact, not hype. This applies like 5x to the Xbox and 50x to Sony, which enjoys saying the PS3 will make people's head explode with awesomeness supercomputing powar and if you dont own one you're not a mature adult.

3. We must love one without hating another

It points to forum trolls, in my experience Sony has both the largest and most fanatic amount of trolling idiots that has ever existed for any company since Al Gore created the internet.

Then this retarded jewel comes along:

"I keep hearing from Nintendo loyalists how cheap the Revolution will be. Well, it's not as cheap as a PS2 or an XBox (both $149 right now, probably $99 this fall) and both of those machines have libraries 100 times larger than the Rev will have on opening day. "

Yeah, his argument against the Rev's price point is "Oh yeah! well, you can buy an older system for less!!1!". Let's fucking forget this is about buying a new system.

4. The "Download Older Games" service will make the Revolution worth owning...

Content reads: "Old games suck, this is worthless, there's a reason why i dont play N64 anymore". Totally subjective to his point of view, a retarded argument by all means.

5. Nintendo Doesn't Love You.

Neither Nintendo, nor Sony or MS love their costumers, they are all in it for the money, specially Sony it seams, no one seems to care less about costumer satisfaction than Sony.

It also refers to Nintendo's practices during the 80's, Nintendo doesnt even have the same people in charge anymore, it's a worthless argument.

6. Nintendo Doesn't Need You.

Reads: "Nintendo is marketing to non-gamers, therefore it will suck and if you are a real gamer you wont like it, the 360 and ps3 are so much powerful and hardcore, you must have one to prove you're a gamer, Waaaa the Rev is a toddler's toy"

And compares it to this:

He's fanboyism for MS or Sony doesn't get more blatant.

7. Nintendo Doesn't Want You.

It reads: "The controller sucks its simple and means the game will be simple and silly, the controller is also clumsy and worthless"

to prove this:
"or else your character will inadvertently stop to reload in the middle of the action or go diving behind something at an inopportune time. "

Then it says again that the Rev is not awesome enough for gamers.

8. Be Honest About Your Needs

It actually reads: "The controller sucks, its too simple, you wont ever get good games cause the controller only has 4 buttons, and the console is too weak, it doesnt compare with 360 or PS3.

No one will make games for the Rev"

9. Yes, I know it will be cheaper...

It claims that due to inflation the Atari 2600 would now be worth $811 at launch price, and since people bought the 2600 at $249, but actually $811 in today's dollars, so gamers wont think twice about spending $500-$700 on 360 and ps3 with games over the Rev's $300 with games, which, acording to him, nulls the Rev's price advantage.

He also manages to contradict himself in his own article, acording to his own #3 real gamers should skip both the 360 or the PS3 because, at those prices, they can buy all 3 last gen consoles and a bunch of games.

Not only are both arguments retarded, they go against each other.

10. No console is worth buying on launch day

Mostly agree, but for all consoles, it doesnt apply just to nintendo.

11. Nintendo will never be #1 again, and doesn't want to be

"Nintendo sucks cause they are not trying to make a console more powerful than 360, MS loses millions to bring gaming to you, they rock so hard, Nintendo needs to stick to handhelds."

12. You're not alone

Obligatory "I'm so full of shit, but i need to pretend i am not a fanboy for one of Nintendo's competitors, so i'll write this point to call everyone a fanboy of something and pretend i'm objective, Nintendo fans need to grow up"

Pezzoni · Post by **Pezzoni** » 2006-04-10 02:14pm

He made a few good points, granted, but he seemed to be contradicting himself throughout with obvious fanboyism for another console, whilst repeatedly criticising the Nintendo fanboys.
I don't think that there is much that can be taken away from there to be honest.

Jadeite · Post by **Jadeite** » 2006-04-10 03:53pm

The Revolution controller looks so damn retarded, I can't wait to watch the videos that will inevitably crop up online of people swinging them around like gaming versions of the Star Wars kid.

Then the fact remains that the system simply won't be as powerful, and that combined with the retarded (seriously, there's no way to argue that it's not retarded) controller, sinks it IMO. No way in hell would I buy one.

Dooey Jo · Post by **Dooey Jo** » 2006-04-10 06:31pm

I'm getting tired of all the people saying that the Rev controller is too weird for games. By saying that, they're not insulting Nintendo for making a bad choice or whatever, they are saying that no game designer, ever, will be smart enough to utilise such a controller in a fun way. What's worse, they're not doing out of some kind of objective reasons, but because they cannot imagine how one would use it to play games (and probably already existing games that aren't designed with that kind of controller in mind, at that).
It is a good fucking thing that real game designers almost never are such "hardcore gamers".

And no, no designer would design a game that will make your arms tired from normal play. It is possible to rest the damn thing in the knee, just like normal controllers (or remotes for that fucking matter).

Jadeite wrote:seriously, there's no way to argue that it's not retarded

Who gives a flying fuck what the controller looks like? You're not buying a system because its controller looks retarded? Do you really think that you'll be spending more time looking at the controller than the TV?

Laird · Post by **Laird** » 2006-04-10 06:33pm

Vympel wrote:
Revolution though? Yeah, right? The entire thing sounds like ass. Wait n see. Nintendo doesnt have the trust I place in Sony.

Good luck with that.($1200 AU fora PS3).

Post by **Vympel** » 2006-04-10 07:45pm

Laird wrote: Good luck with that.($1200 AU fora PS3).

Not going to buy it on opening day. What'd be the point of that? If I want to play on an older system, I've got my PS2. Certainly not going to shell out for a "Revolution in fishing games".

Davis 51 · Post by **Davis 51** » 2006-04-10 08:53pm

Funny, I was reading his 6th point:

So, they made a machine a fraction as powerful as the other consoles (A 729 MHz processor, vs. a 3.2 GHz processor for the XBox 360; 88 MB of RAM vs. 512 MB for both the 360 and PS3) and at a fraction of the cost. They're checking out of the hard core market and making a machine that will be used mainly to play those classic, older Nintendo games, cheaply. In other words, they're making a high-end version of this:
(Snip Picture)

He links to This Article

IGN wrote:Clearly, numbers don't mean everything, but on paper Revolution's CPU falls performance-wise somewhere well beyond GameCube and just shy of the original Xbox. However, it's important to remember that there is no way to accurately gauge the performance difference between GCN's PowerPC-based architecture and the the Intel-based CPU of Xbox. Further, even if we could, these numbers are only one part of the equation.

IGN wrote: Lots of numbers, but what do they all mean? The short answer is that Revolution is exactly as Nintendo has publicly stated: a console whose primary focus is not quadrupling raw horsepower, but rather a potentially gameplay-changing new controller. Nintendo's new hardware supports this innovative new peripheral and not the other way around. Looking back, it makes sense.

In early 2004, Nintendo's former president Hiroshi Yamauchi said that it was unnecessary to accelerate the release of next generation consoles; that current machines were more than adequate.

The stupid fucker links to articles that contradict him directly in order to help his cause.

Also, in number 7, he bitches about how they won't cater to the "Hard Core Gamer" because they used a fishing game as a tech demo. Perhaps he forgot that a PS3 Tech Demo consisted of cups moving rubber ducks in a bathtub.

I have to credit him though. He linked to this gem, which gave me a good laugh.

Spanky The Dolphin · Post by **Spanky The Dolphin** » 2006-04-10 08:56pm

Davis 51 wrote:The stupid fucker links to articles that contradict him directly in order to help his cause.

It makes sense, really, considering that Pointless Waste of Time is a humour website that attempts to emulate the blowhard style of self-absorbed pricks like Maddox.

Battlehymn Republic · Post by **Battlehymn Republic** » 2006-04-11 02:32am

Yes. If by "blowhard style" you mean "words", by "website" you mean "serious news organ for today's generation", and by "humour" you mean "humor."

Spanky The Dolphin · Post by **Spanky The Dolphin** » 2006-04-11 02:53am

You seriously think something like Pointless Waste of Time is news? The site uses pictures of men's cocks as section headers, for God's sake. It's plainly ovbious just by reading less then two articles that the site's focus is ass-hole humour.

And no, I don't consider it humour: I consider it crap.

Star-Blighter · Post by **Star-Blighter** » 2006-04-11 12:05pm

Dooey Jo wrote:I'm getting tired of all the people saying that the Rev controller is too weird for games. By saying that, they're not insulting Nintendo for making a bad choice or whatever, they are saying that no game designer, ever, will be smart enough to utilise such a controller in a fun way. What's worse, they're not doing out of some kind of objective reasons, but because they cannot imagine how one would use it to play games (and probably already existing games that aren't designed with that kind of controller in mind, at that).
It is a good fucking thing that real game designers almost never are such "hardcore gamers".

Well I can't imagine how I could manage to use the Rev controller without making my arthritis flare up, but hey what do I know, I'm just a person with hands, like everyone else...

Dooey Joe wrote:And no, no designer would design a game that will make your arms tired from normal play. It is possible to rest the damn thing in the knee, just like normal controllers (or remotes for that fucking matter).

Why not? There is a precedent. Ever heard of Game Warrior? The whole damn system seemed to be made purely for the purpose of getting kids to break their necks trying to play the damned thing.

Jadeite wrote: Who gives a flying fuck what the controller looks like? You're not buying a system because its controller looks retarded? Do you really think that you'll be spending more time looking at the controller than the TV?

One uses a remote to change channels and operating menus. AT NO TIME are you forced to make rapid inputs to prevent a game character from dying or being forced to restart a level when you want to watch an episode of Doctor Who. If that were the case then many complaints of strained tendons and wrists would inevitable. The average remote when considered to be a good tactile interface when under pressure or time contraints, SUCKS and is a brain-bug in my opinion. The technology the revolution employs in its controller is the saving grace of the design, not the other way around. They could have used a joystick design, which would be supperior in virtually all respects to having to hold a brick. Or a bastardized version of a current design for use with one hand and designed specifically to be easy to use that way.

I'll have to try a demo version when it comes out, then I may revise my opinion for better or worse.

Silver Paladin · Post by **Silver Paladin** » 2006-04-11 12:53pm

Praxis wrote:
Silver Paladin wrote:
I'm going to grab all 3 systems. I've never had a system where EVERY SINGLE GAME SUCKED ASS. Gamecube, PS2, XBox, PSX, N64, SNES, GB, GBA/SP, DS, PSP...they all had redeeming features.

I doubt that any next gen system will break that trend. As long as there will be good games on the system, I'll grab it.
Virtual Boy.

]

Never had a Virtual Boy. I think I was in 4th grade when it came out or something.

Laird · Post by **Laird** » 2006-04-11 01:31pm

Vympel wrote:
Laird wrote: Good luck with that.($1200 AU fora PS3).
Not going to buy it on opening day. What'd be the point of that? If I want to play on an older system, I've got my PS2. Certainly not going to shell out for a "Revolution in fishing games".

Do you have any idea why the revolution is such an attractive console? The abbility to play 100+ free downloadble titles, it's backwards compatible with GC titles, and then you have the revolution titles coming out.

The following example is why the Rev's controller owns everything currently on the market.

Image 1
Image 2
Image 3