Top ten ways to piss off a fundie

Post by **haas mark** » 2002-12-12 03:54am

Come up with a list of the top ten ways to piss off a fundie. (This was inspired by the Top Ten Ways to Piss Off a Warsie thread)

Post by **Dalton** » 2002-12-12 03:57am

10. Kiss a member of your own sex.

Einhander Sn0m4n · Post by **Einhander Sn0m4n** » 2002-12-12 04:08am

9. Sing the songs listed here: http://bbs.stardestroyer.net/viewtopic.php?t=7091

Enlightenment · Post by **Enlightenment** » 2002-12-12 04:11am

x. Believe differently than the fundi does.
y. Be secular.

Post by **haas mark** » 2002-12-12 04:11am

Well, I can say #1 is easily Nietzsche's philosophy: God is dead.

Post by **haas mark** » 2002-12-12 04:12am

Enlightenment wrote:x. Believe differently than the fundi does.
y. Be secular.

In that case, doesn't y=x??

[EDIT] x != y because believing differently than being secular. However, y = x because being secular can be viewed as believing differently

Post by **The Yosemite Bear** » 2002-12-12 04:16am

10. Point out that Days does not mean literal days. (re: Genisis)
09. The Jewish version of the "Old Testament" is longer then the Old & New Testaments combined.
08. (Anti-semites only) The Virgin Mary was Jewish.
08. (Christian Book Stores) Ask for Copies of: Crowley's Law, Bagada-Gita, The Talmud, Gnostic Texts, Spiral Dance, Koran/Quaran, and primary information about all of the other religions of the world, so that one can compare and contrast in an informed manner.
07. Why should I give my money to Pat Robinson, didn't your Massiah say to give our souls to god and our money to government & the Poor?
06. You do realize that the bible has been editted greatly by people with political motivations, and a desire to change history?
05. Revelations was written by a Psychotic, over a century after the death of Christ,
04. Bring up the names and verses from The Talmud not in the NIV
03. Bring up the names and the Verses from The Gnostic texts that are not in the NIV
02. Bring up the Names and the Verses from The Catholic, Greek Orthodox, Koran/Quoran etc. that are not in the NIV, remind them.

01. Remind them about the Two occassions where Christ "Thought" about boning Mary Magdelene (Alone in the Desert for three months just the two of them, and on the Cross)

Post by **weemadando** » 2002-12-12 04:27am

Watching through the first season of West Wing on DVD (I was intrigued and rented the box sets) I noticed something.

1st episode, Fundamentalists in general cop on hell of a beating throughout the episode...

This continues randomly with the "radical right" regularly being mocked.

But it was in one of the final episodes our old friends at World Church of the Creator cop a personal pay out...

I had to pause the CD because I was laughing so hard.

Falkenhorst · Post by **Falkenhorst** » 2002-12-12 05:23am

I got visited by Jehovah's Witnesses this morning. Looks like I'll be starting my holiday fireplace with copies of AWAKE and THE WATCHTOWER,

InnerBrat · Post by **InnerBrat** » 2002-12-12 05:42am

Point out that to be a Christian its more important to follow the teachings of Christ than it is to debate verses in the OT
And ever once in the Gospels does He turn round and say "Oh by the way, Genesis is not a bucnh of parables, but an actual literal account."

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi · Post by **Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi** » 2002-12-12 05:40pm

10. Go to church, fall asleep, and snore
9. Give them a taste of thier own medicine: two hours of Chrisitian Rock should drive him mad
8. Order 100 Bibles because you "need napkins for a picnic"
7. Ask "Who would Jesus do?"
6. Ask "What would Jesus do... for a Klondike Bar?"
5. Mention the Crusades or Inquisitions.
4. When they condemn sex, ask them "what ever happened to being fruitful and multiplying?"
3. Mark 16:18 poison challenge
2. Use a Bible quote against them
1. When one is giving a speech, organise a pronography appreciation day ner where he's speaking.

phongn · Post by **phongn** » 2002-12-12 06:31pm

verilon wrote:
Enlightenment wrote:x. Believe differently than the fundi does.
y. Be secular.
In that case, doesn't y=x??

[EDIT] x != y because believing differently than being secular. However, y = x because being secular can be viewed as believing differently

Well x !implies y but y implies x.

Dahak · Post by **Dahak** » 2002-12-12 07:10pm

verilon wrote:Well, I can say #1 is easily Nietzsche's philosophy: God is dead.

The more complete quote is even more fun.
"God is dead. And we killed him."

Zaku-chan · Post by **Zaku-chan** » 2002-12-12 07:12pm

Ask if everything in the Bible should be taken literally.

When they say yes, ask if the beast in Revelations (mouth of a lion, body of a cheetah, paws of a bear) is a real creature that will seduce humanity.

I swear, some of them look like steam will come out of their ears when you do that.

aerius · Post by **aerius** » 2002-12-12 08:32pm

Introduce them to the joys of Black Sabbath and Ozzy Osbourne.

If they survive that a dosage of God Hates Us All by Slayer ought to finish them.

Casually pass them a gay or lesbian porn mag.

Pull out a porn movie from your coat or backpack, invite them over for a viewing.

If none of these materials are at hand, a swift kick to the groin will take care of things.

MKSheppard · Post by **MKSheppard** » 2002-12-12 08:37pm

The Yosemite Bear wrote:that are not in the NIV, remind them.

Who the fuck uses NIV? I use King James......

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2002-12-12 08:47pm

My list of top ten ways to piss off a fundie:

10) Ask him if he is willing to do as God commands and Christ demands, and kill his children if they swear at him.

9) Talk about geology.

8 ) Talk about evolution.

7) Point out that it's impossible to build a thousand foot long wooden ship, and challenge him to prove you wrong by building one.

6) Mention the wall of separation between church and state.

5) Tell him that you're gay.

4) Ask him how often he watches pornography. When he insists he never watches pornography (which he will), laugh at him for lying (because he is).

3) Ask him to prove his faith by taking the Mark 16:18 challenge and drinking poison without injury.

2) Get him to read my website.

1) Get him to sign up on this BBS.

neoolong · Post by **neoolong** » 2002-12-12 09:17pm

I'm not exactly up on my engineering knowledge, but why is it impossible to build a thousand foot long wooden boat? Something about the strength of wood or something?

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2002-12-12 09:30pm

neoolong wrote:I'm not exactly up on my engineering knowledge, but why is it impossible to build a thousand foot long wooden boat? Something about the strength of wood or something?

Strength and sealing. 300ft wooden boats already leak. Any longer, and they would just sink.

Raptor 597 · Post by **Raptor 597** » 2002-12-12 10:00pm

they could argue putting another layer on, Mike. which would probably sink the boat at 300 feet, nevermind a 1000.

1# Prove their arguments wrong, and let them battle it their mind. Once past there they are no longer Fundamentalist, but abandoning the faith.

Post by **Alyrium Denryle** » 2002-12-12 11:31pm

Walk up to santa in the mall and say "you dont exist, just like Jesus"

Tell them that satan loves them

knock on their door at 6 am and ask " Have you found rational thought" carrying a high school science book, and speaking in the annoying southern accent

And every last one of the things that Mike said

Post by **Kuja** » 2002-12-13 12:15am

GIRLS ONLY: flash them. Or make sexual innuendo.

If it's a guy, he'll get nervous and offended, and if it's a girl, they'll get scared of 'catching' homosexuality.

Einhander Sn0m4n · Post by **Einhander Sn0m4n** » 2002-12-13 03:45am

Darth Wong wrote:<SNIP>

1) Get him to sign up on this BBS.

Good! More Troll meat for the Molecular Furnace! Or if it gags on 'em, at least the Great Elder God Cthulhu will find them a tasty snack!

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi · Post by **Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi** » 2002-12-13 09:05pm

On the topic of pissing off fundies, remove them form their breeding grounds in the South and take them somewhere with rational thinkers. They'll either adapt or go insane.

Or, you could knock him out, and when he wakes up, he'll be locked in an adult movie theater.

[EDIT] Let's pretend I never said that at the top.

StarDestroyer.Net BBS

Top ten ways to piss off a fundie

Top ten ways to piss off a fundie

West Wing and some old friends...