Dear Jesus, What Would You Do?

[Wicked Pilot]

Dear Jesus,
I live on the West coast and my favorite football team, the
Philadelphia Eagles is on the East coast so their 1 p.m. Sunday game
comes on at 10 a.m. my time and becomes a conflict with going to
church. Jesus, what would you do?
Amiss in Anaheim

Dear Amiss.
Jesus is the immortal Son of the Lord and does not face problems the
same way you do. I am a Jew and my Sabbath is on Saturday so this
would not be a conflict for me. Also the Eagles suck and are not my
team. After spending time pinned to a cross on a hill exposed and
bleeding and helpless I tend not to be a fan of birds of prey or teams
whose mascots are named after such birds. So I don't root for Eagles,
or Falcons or Ravens. You might peg me for a Saints fan but you'd dead
be wrong. I'm a Packer fan.

Dear Jesus,
My husband is terminally ill with Cancer. We know that God has a
greater plan for him but how do I explain to our two young boys what
death is and that their father is no longer going to be with them. I
am worried that what I will say will effect them for the rest of their
life and want to do it right. Jesus what would you do?
Fearful in Pflugerville.

Dear Fearful.
I would lay hands upon that man and his cancer would be cured. No
explanation needed. At least I think so. It never occurred to me to
cure cancer but I've given the blind sight and made lepers clean so I
assume I could cure cancer. But regardless, it doesn't really matter
what you say to young children just as long as you take them out for
Ice Cream afterwards.

Dear Jesus,
I moved into a great apartment but the main road from the apartment
complex is one way and I have to drive three miles in one direction to
turn around and go back to cross over the bridge. My apartment is only
really about a mile and half from my work but I have to drive 8 miles
to get there and with traffic it takes almost 45 minutes. Jesus what
would you do?
Sidelined in Saratoga.

Sidelined,
I don't have a car so I would walk to work.

[wilfulton]

Dear Jesus,
I moved into a great apartment but the main road from the apartment
complex is one way and I have to drive three miles in one direction to
turn around and go back to cross over the bridge. My apartment is only
really about a mile and half from my work but I have to drive 8 miles
to get there and with traffic it takes almost 45 minutes. Jesus what
would you do?
Sidelined in Saratoga.

Sidelined,
I don't have a car so I would walk to work.

Hmmm, a person can walk a mile in about 20 minutes, you'd save time, gas, and get some good exercise!

[Wicked Pilot]

Hmmm, a person can walk a mile in about 20 minutes, you'd save time, gas, and get some good exercise!

As the Christians say: Jesus saves.


And I'm suprised a certain Eagles fan has yet to comment on this, as I posted it with him in mind.