Christians band together to lower gas prices...

Ariphaos · Post by **Ariphaos** » 2006-04-30 03:27am

through prayer.

Encourage sponsorship of alternatives? No! Nuclear power is NUKULAR!!! Windfarms are UGLY!!! What will tidal power do to the FISHIES!? Solar Power is TOO EXPENSIVE, why bother researching!?

Lower recreational driving? No! We must keep our children safe taking scenic routes in 6mpg SUVs!

Encourage walking and/or biking for short trips? No! That takes too long / it's too much work / sounds too much like exercise!

But pray, yes, pray, and the LORD will surely renew America's great oil wells, as a sign of divine benevolance and forgiveness of our grotesque waste.

----

A thought just occurred to me. The eschatologist-style christians, 'God will forgive us our excesses and make the world anew solely for us', remind me of a certain breed of new agers who believe that aliens will come to Earth and right our wrongs and solve our problems for us.

As if they can't find it in them to better themselves.

FSTargetDrone · Post by **FSTargetDrone** » 2006-04-30 03:39am

Yet another example of the madness of some citizens of a world superpower in the 21st century.

I guess this means mass killings in Darfur or other horrors of the world don't stack up to having to pay a few bucks more per gallon.

Wicked Pilot · Post by **Wicked Pilot** » 2006-04-30 12:17pm

Why did I know it was prayer before I even clicked the thread link?

Einhander Sn0m4n · Post by **Einhander Sn0m4n** » 2006-04-30 01:17pm

Wicked Pilot wrote:Why did I know it was prayer before I even clicked the thread link?

That's the only thing they have in their toolbox. At all.

Durandal · Post by **Durandal** » 2006-04-30 01:45pm

If God wanted us to have lower gas prices, he wouldn't have given all the oil to the Arabs. I don't see why his Divine Plan is going to be swayed by some prayer.

Pulp Hero · Post by **Pulp Hero** » 2006-04-30 02:30pm

Hmm, perhaps God will demand that some of his loyal followers make humans sacrifices, that might have an affect.

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2006-04-30 02:33pm

Indeed. If it was possible to process Christian hand-waving God-fearing bullshit into oil, we would have an inexhaustible resource.

wilfulton · Post by **wilfulton** » 2006-04-30 05:09pm

Darth Wong wrote:Indeed. If it was possible to process Christian hand-waving God-fearing bullshit into oil, we would have an inexhaustible resource.

Why do I all of a sudden get this mental picture of a Dr. Seuss-like doohickey attached to these people's head on one end, and crude spurting out the other?

And why did I also have the nagging feeling that these people were just going to put their hands together and hope somebody else takes care of the problem? Did they forget that heaven only helps those that help themselves? DId they forget that they need to take the first step? Like, oh, I don't know, stop driving that gas guzzling SUV, get a decent sized sedan instead? If it's a short distance, like under a mile or so, walk instead of drive?

Or don't have six or seven kids that eventually have to grow up to drive SUV's too?

*doink*

Darth Raptor · Post by **Darth Raptor** » 2006-04-30 05:12pm

So if fuel prices continue to climb, does that mean God doesn't exist?

Admiral Johnason · Post by **Admiral Johnason** » 2006-04-30 05:16pm

Darth Raptor wrote:So if fuel prices continue to climb, does that mean God doesn't exist?

No. That just means that God like Japanese automakers and want Americans to get off of our fat asses and walk.

Post by **Surlethe** » 2006-04-30 05:59pm

Darth Raptor wrote:So if fuel prices continue to climb, does that mean God doesn't exist?

No, it simply means God said "No", and we should all keep praying.

Lord Zentei · Post by **Lord Zentei** » 2006-04-30 06:17pm

Surlethe wrote:
Darth Raptor wrote:So if fuel prices continue to climb, does that mean God doesn't exist?
No, it simply means God said "No", and we should all keep praying.

And that God is angry with the USA for being a land of sinners: specifically for tolerating liberals and homosexuals.

aerius · Post by **aerius** » 2006-04-30 06:21pm

Durandal wrote:If God wanted us to have lower gas prices, he wouldn't have given all the oil to the Arabs. I don't see why his Divine Plan is going to be swayed by some prayer.

Nah, you guys just have to take the oil back from them. Praise the lord and hallelujah!