Identify My Captured Spider

Meeper · Post by **Meeper** » 2006-05-01 08:11pm

Stofsk wrote:Where I come from, if you don't like a spider you fucking kill it. None of this 'ooh I trap it with a glass cup and bite my nails about what to do with it'.

That's because the spiders in our country are insane things. You know, ten foot tall, fangs the size of small hatchbacks, venom flowing like a river from it's gaping maw of fire....
excellent, the rumour that australians are all tough and manly continues

Stark · Post by **Stark** » 2006-05-01 08:14pm

Heh. Just look at his av, all the explanation is right there.

Since the larger spiders are very resistant to the common chemical weapons and nerve toxins, you're best off just whacking them. If you hit, you'll have spiderguts over your stuff, and if you miss, you'll have spiderSHIT all over your stuff. I just let them go - they will never bother you, and they're kinda neat.

NeoGoomba · Post by **NeoGoomba** » 2006-05-01 08:30pm

It looked like it had little boxing gloves. And don't worry, if you can't find it and execute it, it might just find a way out on its own.

That said, spiders freak me out and are kill on site in the NeoGoomba handbook.

The only things that really bother me are spiders...and scorpions. ...and the cold. So a scorpion made of ice with a spider in its mouth would probably kill me.

Utsanomiko · Post by **Utsanomiko** » 2006-05-01 09:39pm

I think I found it again. I'm not getting off my chair but I'll zoom in and take a photo.

That probably isn't it, it's hard to tell; my eyes are still a bit blurry with tears from when it got loose earlier today. Regardless, it's not moving very fast now that I look at it.

felineki · Post by **felineki** » 2006-05-01 10:40pm

NeoGoomba wrote:It looked like it had little boxing gloves.

I think those are called "pedipalps". They're sensory/manipulatory tools, basically the spider's "hands", IIRC. They also double as sexual organs.

NeoGoomba · Post by **NeoGoomba** » 2006-05-01 10:45pm

felineki wrote:I think those are called "pedipalps". They're sensory/manipulatory tools, basically the spider's "hands", IIRC. They also double as sexual organs.

Wow, talk about multi-tasking. But how to they operate the internet?!

Spanky The Dolphin · Post by **Spanky The Dolphin** » 2006-05-01 11:02pm

NeoGoomba wrote:
felineki wrote:I think those are called "pedipalps". They're sensory/manipulatory tools, basically the spider's "hands", IIRC. They also double as sexual organs.
Wow, talk about multi-tasking. But how to they operate the internet?!

Mind power!!

Nieztchean Uber-Amoeba · Post by **Nieztchean Uber-Amoeba** » 2006-05-01 11:34pm

Utsanomiko wrote:I think I found it again. I'm not getting off my chair but I'll zoom in and take a photo.

That probably isn't it, it's hard to tell; my eyes are still a bit blurry with tears from when it got loose earlier today. Regardless, it's not moving very fast now that I look at it.

Err, I think that's a snail.

Anarchist Bunny · Post by **Anarchist Bunny** » 2006-05-01 11:36pm

Drooling Iguana wrote:
Anarchist Bunny wrote:I say take no chances, douse it in rubbing alcohol, light it on fire and then smash the ashes. We have to show them we mean business or else the arachnid overlords will come for our society!
Then I suppose you bury the ashes under running water?

Pfft, this isn't like a raver or something, just collect the ashes seal them in a few zip lock bag layers and throw it in the trash.

felineki · Post by **felineki** » 2006-05-02 12:05am

Nieztchean Uber-Amoeba wrote:Err, I think that's a snail.

Looks more like a ladybug of some sort to me.

Elheru Aran · Post by **Elheru Aran** » 2006-05-02 12:56am

felineki wrote:
Nieztchean Uber-Amoeba wrote:Err, I think that's a snail.
Looks more like a ladybug of some sort to me.

Or a popcorn kernel at *really* high zoom. I think it's safe to say Uts is just being a pussy here...

Uraniun235 · Post by **Uraniun235** » 2006-05-02 12:58am

guys are you trying to get him killed

that is clearly a deadly lolbertus castinum spider which could maul him apart with terrible ease

stay put Utsanomiko! help is on the way!

Spanky The Dolphin · Post by **Spanky The Dolphin** » 2006-05-02 01:01am

Elheru Aran wrote:
felineki wrote:
Nieztchean Uber-Amoeba wrote:Err, I think that's a snail.
Looks more like a ladybug of some sort to me.
Or a popcorn kernel at *really* high zoom. I think it's safe to say Uts is just being a pussy here...

Don't laugh; those Asian Ladybugs are the scourge of the Midwest. They fucking bite, man...

DPDarkPrimus · Post by **DPDarkPrimus** » 2006-05-02 01:22am

Oh man, I'm fucking crying, I'm laughing so hard...

Utsanomiko · Post by **Utsanomiko** » 2006-05-02 01:53am

Ok, I'm back, I've been napping a lot since I found and ate the animal crackers and Cherry Coke on my desk. Not so much voluntarily, I guess I got bored or passed out a couple times. Man, and I am starving. I didn't spot the spider at all before then.

However, I just noticed something on the other side of the room right now. Oh shit I don't know if it's been there this whole time or not. Let me put a photo up.

Right between the books and the stack of developed photos. Do you see it? I'm almost too scared to zoom in, but I really should.

Pick · Post by **Pick** » 2006-05-02 01:55am

It's an egg. Soon it will burst, and spiders will emerge in droves.

Clearly, you must neutralize the egg.

Try and use a pentagram?

Lindar · Post by **Lindar** » 2006-05-02 02:22am

Utsanomiko~

I love you. It's refreshing to know that boys that are afraid of spiders isn't as rare as i thought.

thank you for helping me realize that.

and what in the world made you jump on the chair?

Stofsk · Post by **Stofsk** » 2006-05-02 02:22am

Pentagrams are for pussies. Uts ain't no pussy. Right, Uts? Right?

Here's what you do to get rid of that indistinct speck: burn it. In fire.

That'll teach that spider who's boss.

Utsanomiko · Post by **Utsanomiko** » 2006-05-02 02:28am

If I'm going to catch it, I want to make sure I've actually caught the right thing and not have the real spider attack me from behind.

I've got a closer look at the object. It's still in the same spot.

Could this be it?

Stofsk · Post by **Stofsk** » 2006-05-02 02:35am

Looks like a rat turd. My oh my, you are having quite a problem with vermin today...

Pick · Post by **Pick** » 2006-05-02 09:35am

That is certainly an item worthy of a Level 2 "Burning Ice" spell.

Acidburns · Post by **Acidburns** » 2006-05-02 04:11pm

Bah, that's nothing. Biggest spider I've found was easily larger than the open end of that glass. I live in Scotland for chrissakes, we're not meant to have shit like that here.

Post by **NecronLord** » 2006-05-02 05:48pm

Don't forget to regularly check the ceiling. It could absail down on top of you even on top of the chair.

And remind me Uts, why did you keep it for twelve hours? Have you not seen Alien? If it gets to breed, there will be thousands of the little critters soon. Don't forget to move occaisonally in case it has started to cocoon you into the chair.

You two are getting like Lord of the Rings. First we had Ungoliant now we have Shelob there. Soon we should have a huge horde of them running around, cocooning hobbits and children.

Star-Blighter · Post by **Star-Blighter** » 2006-05-02 06:03pm

Utsanomiko wrote:Ok, I'm back, I've been napping a lot since I found and ate the animal crackers and Cherry Coke on my desk. Not so much voluntarily, I guess I got bored or passed out a couple times. Man, and I am starving. I didn't spot the spider at all before then.

However, I just noticed something on the other side of the room right now. Oh shit I don't know if it's been there this whole time or not. Let me put a photo up.

Right between the books and the stack of developed photos. Do you see it? I'm almost too scared to zoom in, but I really should.

Looks like a rat turd to me. Wait a second....

You're wearing sneakers?

BRING OUT THE STEEL TOES AND GO ALL STOMPY ON THAT FUCKER!!!!

Seriously, those sneakers might as well be made out of plate-steel as far as your little friend is concerned. Get angry, get aggressive and hunt that son-bitch down.

Spanky The Dolphin · Post by **Spanky The Dolphin** » 2006-05-03 02:12am

Oh my dear sweet brother, you have not been taken from this world by that murderous eight-legged devil, have you?