Holiday carol rewrites

OT: anything goes!

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Rob Wilson
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Post by Rob Wilson »

Qui Gon Jinn's story as a carol

Silent knight, Jedi knight
always calm, always right.
Found yon Virgin mother and child
Prophecy infant so wholesome yet wild
Rest in Je-di Tra-ance
Rest in Jedi Trance.

Silent knight, Jedi Knight
Traders quaked, at thy sight.
Sith streaked from Coruscant afar
Maul has appeared, audience - "Hurrah".
Sabres light is bo-orn
Sabres light is born

Silent knight, Jedi knight
Oh my god, what a fright.
Radient blade through thy chest
"Tell my Padawan, I tried my best"
Maul, Sith is thy de-ath
Maul, Sith is thy death.

Enjoy :twisted:
"Do you know what the chain of command is? It's the chain I get and beat you with, until you understand whose in f***ing command here!" Jayne : Firefly
"The officers can stay in the admin building and read the latest Tom Clancy novel thinking up new OOBs based on it." Coyote


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2000AD
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Post by 2000AD »

Here's Steve Cavanagh's (http://www.theforce.net/songbook/) Walkers In A Winter Wonderland:

Echo base, are you listening,
I see white, armour glistening
And sir I think we should go,
I see through the snow,
Walkers in a winter wonderland.


All I have, to defend us
are a handful of extras
I guess we'll give it a shot,
I think we'll do squat,
to Walkers in a winter wonderland.


Here I am, a hapless rebel soldier
Stuck here on a planet like a fridge
Don't think I'll be getting too much older,
Look what I see on the southern ridge!


They're so big, they'll get past us
Armour's too strong for blasters
Y'know there's zip we can do,
We're gum on the shoe
of Walkers in a winter wonderland.


We're all beaten, so retreat I'm calling
slaughtered by machines of giant size
Here and there the snow is gently falling
so are all the speeder pilot guys!


They walk on, for Lord Vader
to the shield generator
All our defence was a flop,
nothing can stop
Walkers in a winter wonderland

yes our defence was a flop,
nothing can stop
Walkers in a winter wonderland!
Ph34r teh eyebrow!!11!Writers Guild Sluggite Pawn of Chaos WYGIWYGAINGW so now i have to put ACPATHNTDWATGODW in my sig EBC-Honorary Geordie
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Joe
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Post by Joe »

The Twelve Politically Correct Days of Christmas:

On the 12th day of the Eurocentrically-imposed midwinter festival, my Significant Other in a consenting adult, monogamous relationship gave to me the following:
TWELVE males reclaiming their inner warrior through ritual drumming

ELEVEN pipers piping (plus the 18-member pit orchestra made up of members in good standing of the Musicians Equity Union as called for in their contract even though they will not be asked to play a note)

TEN melanin-deprived testosterone-poisoned scions of the patriarchal ruling class system leaping

NINE persons engaged in rhythmic self-expression

EIGHT economically-disadvantaged female persons stealing milk-products from enslaved Bovine-Americans

SEVEN endangered swans swimming on federally-protected wetlands

SIX enslaved Fowl-Americans producing stolen non-human animal products

FIVE golden symbols of culturally-sanctioned enforced domestic incarceration

(NOTE: after members of the Animal Liberation Front threatened to throw red paint at my computer, the calling birds, French hens, turtle doves and partridge have been reintroduced to their native habitat. To avoid further Animal-American enslavement, the remaining gift package has been revised.)

FOUR hours of recorded whale songs

THREE deconstructionist poets

TWO Sierra Club calendars printed on recycled processed tree carcasses and

ONE Spotted Owl activist chained to an old-growth pear tree.

Merry Christmas, Happy Chanukah. Good Kwanzaa, Blessed Yule and Happy Holidays! (Unless otherwise prohibited by law, or, of course, you are suffering from Seasonal Affective Disorder - "SAD"- in which case please substitute this gratuitous call for celebration with a suggestion that you have a thoroughly adequate day.)
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I'm studying for the CPA exam. Have a nice summer, and if you're down just sit back and realize that Joe is off somewhere, doing much worse than you are.
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Rob Wilson
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Post by Rob Wilson »

Now 2 favourite carols brought to you by the Federation Red Shirt Choir
[To the tune of Deck the halls]

Beam us up now, Mr Scotty
Falalalalah Lalalala
The natives are acting snotty
Falalalalah Lalalala
All we did was break their creed
Falala Falala Lalalaah
Now they're trying to make us bleed.
Falalalalah Lalalalaah.

[To the tune of Jingle Bells]

Jeffries tubes, Jeffries tubes
Ductwork all the way.
Oh what fun it is to crawl
through tunnels everyday.
Oooooh
Jeffries tubes, Jeffries tubes
a way to get about
All around the Enterprise
When the turbolifts give out.

:D
"Do you know what the chain of command is? It's the chain I get and beat you with, until you understand whose in f***ing command here!" Jayne : Firefly
"The officers can stay in the admin building and read the latest Tom Clancy novel thinking up new OOBs based on it." Coyote


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Perinquus
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Post by Perinquus »

I heard this one on the radio this morning and laughed my ass off. (Imagine all the words in parentheses being spoken by Alvin & the chipmunks voices - except the lines by Santa.)

Chipmunks roasting on an open fire
Hot sauce dripping from their toes
(“Hehehe that tickles, hehehe”)
Yuletide squirrels fresh filleted by the choir
They poked hot skewers through their nose
(“Ow, wrong end, ya cowboy!”)
Everybody knows some pepper
and a garlic clove
(Achoo!)
Help to make them seasoned right
Tiny rats with a crisp golden coat
Will really hit the spot tonight
And now when Santa sees his tray
(“Ho ho ho ho ho ho”)
There will be some homemade chipmunk jerky for his sleigh
(“Mmmm…Hey, look at that!”)
And every hungry child is gonna’ spy
To see if chipmunks really sing when they fry
So I’m brushing on some honey glaze
To keep them crisp and juicy too
Let’s hope they get served
many times many ways
Tasty Chipmunks; good food

“On that, Mr. Cole, ”
“Yes, sir, Mr. Seville?”
“Would you mind handing me the barbeque sauce?” “ I am starved!”
”Oh,no problem Dave” “You best be havin’ two of those drumsticks, they’re oh-so tiny and there ain’t much meat upon them”
(“What about animal rights, Dave?”)
“Put a sock in it Melvin”
“For years people said you over-rated hamsters were my meal ticket..Now I gues you could just say you are my meal!”
“That was a good one, Dave…I always knew you was the funny one in the group!”
“Damn straight!”

Now I am offering some tasty recipes
From chipmunk pie to chipmunk stew
I’m not really sad that it ended this way
Furry chipmunks
Screw you

“Haha, did you hear that Melvin? Melvin? Melllllvvvviiinnn?"
“Why, I’m sorry Dave, did you want Melvin? There’s plenty of Thagadore left though…”

Give a listen here:
http://new.twistedtunes.com/store/store ... oductID=21
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haas mark
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Post by haas mark »

SAMAS wrote:
verilon wrote:Deck the halls with gasoline
falalalala..lalalala
Light a match and watch it gleam
falalalala..lalalala
Burn the schoolhouse down to ashes
falala..lalala..lalala..
I can't remember the fourth line. X(
Aren't you glad you played with matches?
falalalala... Lalalala!
THank you. ANd it was schoolyard. Weird, but that's how I learned it. o.O
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Formerly verilon

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Cal Wright
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Post by Cal Wright »

I always learned it as schoolhouse. Oh well.

Were you born with out a sense of humor or did you lose it in a tragic whoppy cushion accident? -Stormbringer

"We are well and truly forked." -Mace Windu Shatterpoint

"Either way KJA is now Dune's problem. Why can't he stop tormenting me and start writting fucking Star Trek books." -Lord Pounder

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Post 1500 acheived on Thu Jan 23, 2003 at 2:48 am
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Coyote
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Post by Coyote »

Don't remember where I saw this...

"We three Kings"

"We three clods
from Omaha are
spending Christmas Eve in the car

Driving, drinking, glasses clinking,
Who needs a lousy bar?

Ooo-oohhhh

Drink to Melvin
Drink to Fred
Drink to those two
Trucks ahead

Headlights flashing,
swerving, crashing
Drink 'till they
pronounce us dead!
Something about Libertarianism always bothered me. Then one day, I realized what it was:
Libertarian philosophy can be boiled down to the phrase, "Work Will Make You Free."


In Libertarianism, there is no Government, so the Bosses are free to exploit the Workers.
In Communism, there is no Government, so the Workers are free to exploit the Bosses.
So in Libertarianism, man exploits man, but in Communism, its the other way around!

If all you want to do is have some harmless, mindless fun, go H3RE INST3ADZ0RZ!!
Grrr! Fight my Brute, you pansy!
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