National Review's list of top 50 conservative rock songs

Metatwaddle · Post by **Metatwaddle** » 2006-05-27 02:32am

I wasn't sure whether to put this in N&P or here, but I figure here will work.

Top 50 Conservative Rock Songs

How much do you want to bet that Sweet Home Alabama only made it on there for the jab at Neil Young? Or (even more so) that Revolution only made it on there for the Chairman Mao thing?

The whole article's unintentionally hilarious. It claims that the Beach Boys' "Wouldn't It Be Nice" is pro-abstinence (bzuh?) It also says that U2 singing in Latin is "beautifully reactionary."

It may make you want to bang your head on your desk repeatedly. But hey, what do you expect from the National Review?

Ford Prefect · Post by **Ford Prefect** » 2006-05-27 02:46am

The mind boggles, frankly. Some of those are just plain mad. Nice to see Cult of Personality (Living Colour) on the list though; only because I like it and it needs mentioning somewhere. The Rime of the Ancient Mariner seemed a little odd too.

Post by **Gandalf** » 2006-05-27 02:47am

How very amusing.

This one in particular elicited a chuckle:

4. “Sweet Home Alabama,” by Lynyrd Skynyrd.
A tribute to the region of America that liberals love to loathe, taking a shot at Neil Young’s Canadian arrogance along the way: “A Southern man don’t need him around anyhow.”

Spacebeard · Post by **Spacebeard** » 2006-05-27 02:52am

25. “The Battle of Evermore,” by Led Zeppelin. Led Zeppelin Tribute - Tribute to Led Zeppelin IV - Battle of Evermore ; buy CD on Amazon.com

The lyrics are straight out of Robert Plant’s Middle Earth period — there are lines about “ring wraiths” and “magic runes” — but for a song released in 1971, it’s hard to miss the Cold War metaphor: “The tyrant’s face is red.'

I found that one the funniest by far. Reading so much into one word is so completely outlandish that it wouldn't even occur to a deliberate parody.

And of course, the only reason given for number fifty is that Hillary Clinton apparently doesn't like it (and given that it's Tammy Wynette, probably no one with any sanity does either).

Spanky The Dolphin · Post by **Spanky The Dolphin** » 2006-05-27 02:58am

Gandalf wrote:How very amusing.

This one in particular elicited a chuckle:

4. “Sweet Home Alabama,” by Lynyrd Skynyrd.
A tribute to the region of America that liberals love to loathe, taking a shot at Neil Young’s Canadian arrogance along the way: “A Southern man don’t need him around anyhow.”

The most ironic thing is that Lynyrd Skynyrd only intended "Sweet Home Alabama" as a light-hearted jab and response to Neil Young and "Southern Man." In reality Young and the group actually got along very well before and after the song was released.

Metatwaddle · Post by **Metatwaddle** » 2006-05-27 03:17am

Gandalf: I liked that one too, mostly because it was such a light jab from Lynyrd Skynyrd and it was kind of funny to see the National Review going, "Hey, Neil Young, Lynyrd Skynyrd says the South doesn't need you! PWND!"

And yeah, the "tyrant's face is red" thing was the most outlandish, far-fetched one of all.

As for the Tammy Wynette song, I looked up the lyrics and Hillary may have disliked it for feminist reasons, or something. "Sometimes it's hard to be a woman / Giving all your love to just one man / You'll have bad times / And he'll have good times / Doin things that you don't understand / But if you love him / You'll forgive him / Even though he's hard to understand." If I were to go into drastic feminist mode, I could say that sounds like the subservient roles (don't question, he's above you and you can't understand his lofty thoughts and motivations) that women were expected to fill in the 1950s.

Personally I think that's stretching it a lot. But Hillary might, um, not.

Darth Quorthon · Post by **Darth Quorthon** » 2006-05-27 04:00am

Wow, I never thought I'd see Metallica and Iron Maiden on a list of top conservative songs. I thought they hated hard rock and heavy metal as a rule. Why isn't Maiden's "Alexander the Great" on there? It quotes Philip of Macedon: My son ask for thyself another kingdom, for that which I leave is too small for thee. And regarding "Battle of Evermore" and "The Trees", I always thought they were just concept stories. I guess you really can learn something new every day.

Oh, and I'll say up front that this is a nitpick: The Black Album (Metallica) was recorded between October 1990 and June 1991, and the songs were probably written before the band started recorded them. The Gulf War (at least the U.S.'s involvement) didn't start until early 1991, so I'm skeptical that "Don't tread on me" was written in response to the Gulf War (#1). But I could be wrong.

Post by **weemadando** » 2006-05-27 04:11am

Whoa, how the fuck is "Cult of Personality" a CONSERVATIVE fucking song? It seems to me that this guy is stretching the criteria just a little.

Post by **Gandalf** » 2006-05-27 04:21am

Darth Quorthon wrote:Wow, I never thought I'd see Metallica and Iron Maiden on a list of top conservative songs. I thought they hated hard rock and heavy metal as a rule. Why isn't Maiden's "Alexander the Great" on there? It quotes Philip of Macedon: My son ask for thyself another kingdom, for that which I leave is too small for thee. And regarding "Battle of Evermore" and "The Trees" my guess is that some folks didn't get the memo that there are songs out there known as concept stories.

I guess they've eased the criteria for more popular artists. I guess it stops the top 50 being filled by guys with "Nashville" or "Tex" as nicknames.

Darth Quorthon · Post by **Darth Quorthon** » 2006-05-27 04:35am

Gandalf wrote:
Darth Quorthon wrote:Wow, I never thought I'd see Metallica and Iron Maiden on a list of top conservative songs. I thought they hated hard rock and heavy metal as a rule. Why isn't Maiden's "Alexander the Great" on there? It quotes Philip of Macedon: My son ask for thyself another kingdom, for that which I leave is too small for thee. And regarding "Battle of Evermore" and "The Trees" my guess is that some folks didn't get the memo that there are songs out there known as concept stories.
I guess they've eased the criteria for more popular artists. I guess it stops the top 50 being filled by guys with "Nashville" or "Tex" as nicknames.

I was indeed quite surprised that the Toby Keith song "Courtesy Of The Red, White, And Blue (The Angry American)" was not on there.

NoXion · Post by **NoXion** » 2006-05-27 07:20am

The Clash? Wtf?!?

Bounty · Post by **Bounty** » 2006-05-27 07:47am

20. “Rock the Casbah,” by The Clash. The Clash - The Essential Clash - Rock the Casbah ; buy CD on Amazon.com
After 9/11, American radio stations were urged not to play this 1982 song, one of the biggest hits by a seminal punk band, because it was seen as too provocative. Meanwhile, British Forces Broadcasting Service (the radio station for British troops serving in Iraq) has said that this is one of its most requested tunes.

...so every British soldier is a Conservative - and the US military, by virtue of banning the song, isn't ?

And we're reasonably certain this isn't satire ?

PrinceofLowLight · Post by **PrinceofLowLight** » 2006-05-27 10:13am

weemadando wrote:Whoa, how the fuck is "Cult of Personality" a CONSERVATIVE fucking song? It seems to me that this guy is stretching the criteria just a little.

Part of the way the GOP maintains "The Big Tent" is by playing a little bait--and-switch game. They attract the independant-minded with talk of protecting them from the Nanny State and how you shouldn't trust the government, or anyone with power. By the time they realize that these fucks are exactly what they're railing against, some of them have already drank the Kool-Aid and joined the cult.

Kettch · Post by **Kettch** » 2006-05-29 12:12am

Bounty wrote:
20. “Rock the Casbah,” by The Clash. The Clash - The Essential Clash - Rock the Casbah ; buy CD on Amazon.com
After 9/11, American radio stations were urged not to play this 1982 song, one of the biggest hits by a seminal punk band, because it was seen as too provocative. Meanwhile, British Forces Broadcasting Service (the radio station for British troops serving in Iraq) has said that this is one of its most requested tunes.
...so every British soldier is a Conservative - and the US military, by virtue of banning the song, isn't ?

And we're reasonably certain this isn't satire ?

?

The US military did not ban any music on public or private radio stations. (I can't speak for their own stations). The article is referencing the list of "banned" songs by clear channel after 9/11. This was a list of songs that was passed arround the stations in the days after 9/11 of what songs they might want to avoid, though this was a choice of the individual stations. (i.e. in my conversations w/ the afternoon DJ for 104.1 in Hartford the only song they pulled from rotation was "bodies")

The list.

The popularity w/ British troops may be due to reported interfernce from Iranin the Basra region of Iraq.

Post by **Dalton** » 2006-05-29 02:02am

This list is an insult to every rock band mentioned in it. U2? U fucking 2, with Bono the Uber-Liberal? The Beatles? The Beatles? What the bloody fuck? Led Zeppelin? Goddamn, my sister would scream bloody murder.

Joe · Post by **Joe** » 2006-05-29 03:02am

Actually I don't really have a problem with Taxman being on the list. It's a great song with a message economic conservatives should identify with.

Revolution is a bit trickier, though. While Lennon does disavow Marxist-style revolutionary violence in the song, he still expresses sympathy with the goals of '60s leftists. And the song does kick much ass - the Beatles really could have been the first heavy metal band if they had wanted to.

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2006-05-29 03:37am

Gandalf wrote:How very amusing.

This one in particular elicited a chuckle:

4. “Sweet Home Alabama,” by Lynyrd Skynyrd.
A tribute to the region of America that liberals love to loathe, taking a shot at Neil Young’s Canadian arrogance along the way: “A Southern man don’t need him around anyhow.”

Yes, because Neil Young's song about black church burnings and exhorting Southern Men to behave better was so soundly refuted by a song that essentially said "hey this is my home".

I can appreciate that Sweet Home Alabama is a musically better song than Neil Young's "Southern Man", but any asshole who complains about Young's "arrogance" in criticizing the atrocious behaviour of southern whites during the civil rights movement is clearly a knuckle-dragging asshole. Really, that passage says SO much about the mindset of National Review.

Spyder · Post by **Spyder** » 2006-05-29 07:38am

“Rock the Casbah,” by The Clash

Ah yes, the obvious spokespeople for conservative values and free enterprise, The Clash.

I need a hug...

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2006-05-29 08:16am

I think the most disturbing thing about this is the mental picture of conservatives sitting there trying to figure out if a particular rock song is ideologically acceptable, and then actually compiling this list.

Knife · Post by **Knife** » 2006-05-29 11:59am

Darth Wong wrote:I think the most disturbing thing about this is the mental picture of conservatives sitting there trying to figure out if a particular rock song is ideologically acceptable, and then actually compiling this list.

Now that's a vision. After church, some group of concerned conservative christians gather, drink lemonade, and discuss whether or not this particular Metalica song is in sink with their idealogy. "What is next brother Smith?"

"Something called Anthrax."

LOL

Post by **Dalton** » 2006-05-29 01:17pm

Let's see some Iron fucking Maiden on this list. I bet Hallowed Be Thy Name would score way up there.

Joe · Post by **Joe** » 2006-05-29 01:23pm

I'm just surprised they didn't put Born in the USA on the list.

Post by **Dalton** » 2006-05-29 01:31pm

Joe wrote:I'm just surprised they didn't put Born in the USA on the list.

Wasn't that kind of anti-Vietnam?

Metatwaddle · Post by **Metatwaddle** » 2006-05-29 01:44pm

Dalton wrote:
Joe wrote:I'm just surprised they didn't put Born in the USA on the list.
Wasn't that kind of anti-Vietnam?

Yes. But it's been mistaken for good ol' American patriotism before, by Ronald Reagan most notably.

Joe · Post by **Joe** » 2006-05-29 03:15pm

Dalton wrote:
Joe wrote:I'm just surprised they didn't put Born in the USA on the list.
Wasn't that kind of anti-Vietnam?

Very much so, but that even to this day doesn't stop the song from being used to invoke patriotism.