Christian Throws Self to Lions, God Goes 'Meh'

Wicked Pilot · Post by **Wicked Pilot** » 2006-06-05 04:26pm

Yahoo News wrote:Lioness in Zoo Kills Man Who Invoked God

KIEV (Reuters) - A man shouting that God would keep him safe was mauled to death by a lioness in Kiev zoo after he crept into the animal's enclosure, a zoo official said on Monday.

"The man shouted 'God will save me, if he exists', lowered himself by a rope into the enclosure, took his shoes off and went up to the lions," the official said.

"A lioness went straight for him, knocked him down and severed his carotid artery."

The incident, Sunday evening when the zoo was packed with visitors, was the first of its kind at the attraction. Lions and tigers are kept in an "animal island" protected by thick concrete blocks.

At least Darwin was doing his job.

Metatwaddle · Post by **Metatwaddle** » 2006-06-05 04:28pm

He actually yelled "God will save me, if he exists"? That sounds more like he's a crazed atheist trying to disprove God's existence.

Bounty · Post by **Bounty** » 2006-06-05 04:31pm

Discombobulated wrote:He actually yelled "God will save me, if he exists"? That sounds more like he's a crazed atheist trying to disprove God's existence.

It might be a wonky translation. Still, you're definately right about the "crazed" part either way.

Siege · Post by **Siege** » 2006-06-05 04:35pm

'God helps those who help themselves!' I can just hear the apologists shout.

Instant Sunrise · Post by **Instant Sunrise** » 2006-06-05 04:40pm

SiegeTank wrote:'God helps those who help themselves!' I can just hear the apologists shout.

No, they would be saying 'Don't test God.'

Wicked Pilot · Post by **Wicked Pilot** » 2006-06-05 04:42pm

skyman8081 wrote:No, they would be saying 'Don't test God.'

They ought to tell that to all the morons who wasted millions trying to prove that prayer helps sick people recover.

Durandal · Post by **Durandal** » 2006-06-05 04:42pm

SiegeTank wrote:'God helps those who help themselves!' I can just hear the apologists shout.

Actually, they'd say he had no faith anyway, so God didn't help him.

nickolay1 · Post by **nickolay1** » 2006-06-05 04:46pm

Found some pictures for you people:

http://pk.kiev.ua/city/2006/06/05/121314.html

Curiously, no mention of the specific quote is made. Instead, it simply states that the victim "uttered something in some eastern language."

nickolay1 · Post by **nickolay1** » 2006-06-05 04:49pm

Sorry, forgot to mention earlier that the site also has some nice videos of the "pwnage."

http://www.reklamaster.com/lion1.avi
http://www.reklamaster.com/lion2.avi

Admiral Valdemar · Post by **Admiral Valdemar** » 2006-06-05 05:02pm

God feels lions deserve a good meal of stupid Human rather than show Himself as the true sky pixie.

Instant Sunrise · Post by **Instant Sunrise** » 2006-06-05 05:08pm

Admiral Valdemar wrote:God feels lions deserve a good meal of stupid Human rather than show Himself as the true sky pixie.

Because He totally did that when the Apostles were being put to death.

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2006-06-05 07:14pm

Discombobulated wrote:He actually yelled "God will save me, if he exists"? That sounds more like he's a crazed atheist trying to disprove God's existence.

Even the most crazed atheist would not trust his life to something he thinks is nonexistent. It sounds far more like a believer who doubts his faith and wishes to reaffirm it in a manner that will strengthen it and leave him completely without doubt for the rest of his happy (and, as it turned out, short) life.

Wyrm · Post by **Wyrm** » 2006-06-05 09:41pm

Wicked Pilot wrote:
skyman8081 wrote:No, they would be saying 'Don't test God.'
They ought to tell that to all the morons who wasted millions trying to prove that prayer helps sick people recover.

I read the one about retroactive prayer on hospital stays. I cooperated with Bill Jefferys on a response to the paper, noting in private correspondance:

I wrote:Leibovici has created a cargo-cult trial. He has replicated the surface of a double-blind clinical trial, but has no real understanding of its construction.

(To explain this statement, Leibovici didn't set up the two groups right, wasn't clear on how he distinguished short hospital stays due to quick recovery vs. quickly succumbing to illness and so on, wasn't clear on what constituted a "placebo prayer", didn't use the right statistics to evaluate the results [Using a Wilcoxon rank-sum test when the symmetry of the population is not assured, using a chi-squared test when the chi-squaredness of the test statistic under the null hypothesis wasn't shown], no statement on the errors in the results he did get [so the significance of the results could not be evaluated], and I argue that the retroactive nature of the prayer hypothesis itself completely invalidated the test -- the prayer might simply cause the coin flip to choose the treatement group with the more favorable statistics.)

Needless to say, I wasn't impressed by the paper.

Lord of the Abyss · Post by **Lord of the Abyss** » 2006-06-06 01:59am

skyman8081 wrote:
SiegeTank wrote:'God helps those who help themselves!' I can just hear the apologists shout.
No, they would be saying 'Don't test God.'

Or "God loved his act of faith so much, He took him to Heaven right away !" Of course if the lions had left him alone, it would have been "His faith protects him !"

Post by **K. A. Pital** » 2006-06-06 04:14am

Um... I'd really, really love this to be a joke.

Post by **K. A. Pital** » 2006-06-06 04:16am

Actually, according to the news report, he threw a bottle in the male lion to provoke the lions, who were reluctant, to attck him!!

Neko_Oni · Post by **Neko_Oni** » 2006-06-06 08:08am

Stas Bush wrote:Actually, according to the news report, he threw a bottle in the male lion to provoke the lions, who were reluctant, to attck him!! Shocked Shocked Shocked

Aren't the lionesses the ones that normally do the hunting? Just another case of male apathy I think.

The_Nice_Guy · Post by **The_Nice_Guy** » 2006-06-06 08:13am

Agree with Abyss, the fundies will just go, "Oh, he's in the hands of God now."

What can you say?

TWG

wautd · Post by **wautd** » 2006-06-06 08:28am

Pity. Should be more fundies like this guy

Battlehymn Republic · Post by **Battlehymn Republic** » 2006-06-06 08:23pm

Guys, guys, I can settle this one:

A theist would have been saved from the lions. An atheist would have been smart enough not to bother.

He was a crazed agnostic.

General Soontir Fel · Post by **General Soontir Fel** » 2006-06-07 01:32am

Maybe God is on the lions' side.

Jason von Evil · Post by **Jason von Evil** » 2006-06-07 04:11pm

Aslan must've been cranky.

Pint0 Xtreme · Post by **Pint0 Xtreme** » 2006-06-07 05:40pm

Durandal wrote:
SiegeTank wrote:'God helps those who help themselves!' I can just hear the apologists shout.
Actually, they'd say he had no faith anyway, so God didn't help him.

I don't know... jumping into the lion's den is quite a display of faith there.

Kathryn · Post by **Kathryn** » 2006-06-10 08:48pm

Durandal wrote:
SiegeTank wrote:'God helps those who help themselves!' I can just hear the apologists shout.
Actually, they'd say he had no faith anyway, so God didn't help him.

Of course Jesus prayed too, but they say he believed because he said that he did.

Admiral Johnason · Post by **Admiral Johnason** » 2006-06-10 10:04pm

The_Nice_Guy wrote:Agree with Abyss, the fundies will just go, "Oh, he's in the hands of God now."

What can you say?

TWG

Maybe God has butterfingers.