My kitten is alive! (updated)

WyrdNyrd · Post by **WyrdNyrd** » 2006-06-10 08:52am

The very same one I was talking about in the cats & dogs thread. She was the most beautiful kitten in the world and now she's dead.

Despite 100's of dolloars worth of fencing, she still somehow got out in to the road and was hit by a car.

I'm a 33yo man and I am sobbing at the keyboard like a baby.

My wife and i are trying to console each other, but it doesn't help much. As soon as one of us can't hold in the tears any more, it just sets the other one off again. C. has, in fact, given up and gone to bed. (It's 3pm local time.)

I'm trying to control it. I was disgusted at my mother when she went into mourning for her dog over a year ago, and still hasn't got over it. And I'm trying not to be too emotional about it. I try not to let every last association set me off again. But it;s not working.

God it hurts.

Imperial Overlord · Post by **Imperial Overlord** » 2006-06-10 08:55am

My condolences. It is always terrible to lose a beloved pet.

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2006-06-10 08:55am

I'm so sorry to hear that. I'm not a cat person but I know how a beloved pet can become a part of your life and a member of your family.

Ford Prefect · Post by **Ford Prefect** » 2006-06-10 09:02am

One shouldn't be ashamed about crying about a lost pet. You have my condolences.

Rye · Post by **Rye** » 2006-06-10 09:12am

That sucks, but I know what you're talking about. Let the grief wring you out, think about the good times. You have my sympathies.

Watching someone grieve over their pet is one of those few things that cuts to my core and opens the floodgates.

Mrs Kendall · Post by **Mrs Kendall** » 2006-06-10 09:34am

Oh man, I'm so sorry you've lost your kitten. I'm with the others who say don't be embarrassed about crying over her/him. It was part of your family for however long and you obviously got attached to it.
It's hard to understand how people react when they lose a pet and not say "wow they're overreacting, they shouldn't be crying like that, it was only a dog/cat/whatever" until you experience it yourself.

Don't be so hard on yourself and just let it all out, grieve the kitten. You obviously need to and being a man is no reason not to cry over this.

Duckie · Post by **Duckie** » 2006-06-10 09:40am

I'm sorry, man. I know where you're coming from. I think everybody knows where you're coming from, with losing a pet and all. Don't be ashamed to be emotional over losing a member of your family like that, is all I really can say.

WyrdNyrd · Post by **WyrdNyrd** » 2006-06-10 09:52am

Thanks, guys. Just writing here, and getting your support, has helped me somewhat.

I'm slowly pulling myself together, here. C. is helping me more than I'm helping her, I'm afraid to say. Ironically, I thought it would be the other way around. Before we found the body, and we weren't yet sure if she would be coming back, I thought I would be able to handle it. What frightened me was what C's reaction would be - I was dreading having to console her, because I suck at it. Yet, despite her own massive grief, she's been the one to come up with practical ways to help me. Like telling me to go brush the other two cats. Giving them some attention really helped me cope.

What's very important for me, as a person with a permanent guilt complex, is to not give in to the "If only's" and "What if's". What's done is done, I couldn't really have prevented it, and I need to stop torturing myself. I don't have a time-machine, I can't go back and fix it. All I can do is give lots and lots and lots of attention to my wife and our remaining cats.

Mrs Kendall · Post by **Mrs Kendall** » 2006-06-10 10:09am

Exactly! I'm glad that you realise that.

This is one huge reason why we have indoor cats. I don't know if I would be able to handle the loss of a pet these days what with all the other problems I'm dealing with. My family has always had indoor cats. Ever since one of our cats got out and got lost for 3 weeks then came back with fleas we've kept our cats indoors. Not preeching but maybe this could be an option for you from now on. Just a suggestion, I don't mean to make you feel bad or anything.

The Nomad · Post by **The Nomad** » 2006-06-10 10:14am

I'm truly sorry man. As someone who has lost quite a few beloved cats (the latest being a wonderful Siamese cat that died poisoned after days of agony - the assholish vet took only a brief glance at him, said "He'll be fine by monday" and of course he expired on sunday evening, after much suffering) I can say I understand you

...

Big Orange · Post by **Big Orange** » 2006-06-10 11:11am

How did your poor kitten manage to get out, WyrdNyrd?

Having a pet cat ourselves and once having a big dog that we lost many years ago, I sympathise with your plight. Cats seem to be a lot more reckless and daring than dogs, which is why they are much more likely to get knocked down by speeding vehicles.

The little girl did not know the danger she was in and let her innocent curiosity of the world get the better of her...

Post by **The Yosemite Bear** » 2006-06-10 11:18am

*sniff*

rage on small god...

ye shall be missed. May Bast and Freya look over you

besdies cats are like the line from jurassic park...

life wants to procreate and be free, in a sense a cat is like the embodyment of chaos and life, there is no physical barrier that will keep one trapped. (they can leap 6 feet into the air, climb most materials, and pass their whole bodies through any span that they can fit their tiny heads through) *and that's just when the naturalists are watching, anyone whose owned by one can relate to the story of them passing through solid matter (locked doors, locked roll top desks)

Pick · Post by **Pick** » 2006-06-10 11:41am

My condolences... . Losing a pet is exceedingly difficult.

BloodAngel · Post by **BloodAngel** » 2006-06-10 12:14pm

Cats are creative things; no matter what situation they're put in, they can always seemingly find a way out.

May your kitten rest in peace.

WyrdNyrd · Post by **WyrdNyrd** » 2006-06-10 01:54pm

She's alive!
She's alive!
She's alive!

She just walked into the house as if she hadn't spent the whole day missing!

The road-kill my wife found was too damaged for a positive ID. It seems it wasn't our bundle of aggravation after all.

Of course, she will be an indoor cat for the rest of her life, as will our other two, by necessity. C. and I can't go through this again. The irony is, one of the principle reasons we moved out of my old apartment and into this house is that we were desperate for our cats to have a garden to play in.

Of course, C. and I are crying again!

Thanks for the support, guys!

Of course, our happiness is tempered by the thought that someone else's baby won't be coming home tonight...

Alyeska · Post by **Alyeska** » 2006-06-10 02:00pm

You are one very lucky man. This is very good news to hear and I am very glad for you.

Dooey Jo · Post by **Dooey Jo** » 2006-06-10 02:29pm

Good for you and your cat, WyrdNyrd

Sometimes I think my dog, which died a few months ago walks into the house as if nothing happened, but it always turns out to be illusions or dreams

But again, good for you. You're very lucky, and so is your kitten I suppose.

Fleet Admiral JD · Post by **Fleet Admiral JD** » 2006-06-10 02:39pm

Frickin' awesome, Nyrd!

Pezzoni · Post by **Pezzoni** » 2006-06-10 03:29pm

Fucking hell, you are a very lucky (and presumably very happy!) man

I'm glad you managed to get her back

Mrs Kendall · Post by **Mrs Kendall** » 2006-06-10 03:51pm

Wow

That must have been an extremely pleasant surprise! I'm so happy for you and your little family

I'm also glad you're taking my advice, Cats don't need gardens to play in, they only ruin your flowers anyway

Plus you can always grow grass for them inside in a tupperware container or something, give them the best of both worlds

All I can say now is that you're very lucky to have your kitten back.. now go spend a bunch of time cuddling and petting her so she knows she's very much loved

Count Dooku · Post by **Count Dooku** » 2006-06-10 04:31pm

I read this earlier this morning and felt so bad for you, but now I'm so happy for you! LOL!!! I don't know what I'd do if I lost my dog...

Again, I'm happy your cat is alive!

Mange · Post by **Mange** » 2006-06-10 04:33pm

I'm so happy for you! That must've been quite a shock.

Howedar · Post by **Howedar** » 2006-06-10 04:47pm

WyrdNyrd wrote: Of course, she will be an indoor cat for the rest of her life, as will our other two, by necessity. C. and I can't go through this again. The irony is, one of the principle reasons we moved out of my old apartment and into this house is that we were desperate for our cats to have a garden to play in.

I'm happy for you, but to be honest, I've got concerns. You care so much about your cats having a chance to live outside that you moved, so you clearly think that letting cats be outdoors is very important to their well-being. Yet you'll take that away because of fear that you'll have to find a dead cat someday. I hope that this is a purely emotional response and that you reconsider this decision that I find to be somewhat selfish.

Joe · Post by **Joe** » 2006-06-10 04:52pm

I suggest you reinforce the fence. For the first year or two of my current dog's life keeping the fence enclosed enough to keep her in was a constant battle. Eventually she sort of gave up and we've not had problems since then.

Big Orange · Post by **Big Orange** » 2006-06-10 05:31pm

If I were you I would put your kitten inside a small inner perimeter, within the garden itself. That way your little pet would still be oustide, while being safely contained within a inner fence.