Incomprehensibly sucky movies

Spanky The Dolphin · Post by **Spanky The Dolphin** » 2006-06-16 07:14pm

Spacebeard wrote:
Majin Gojira wrote:Okay, Time for some edumacation!

Bad Movies.org -- Review site with clips and waves to show how bad movies are. Try "The Giant Claw", "Attack of the Supermonsters", "The Beast of Yucca Flats" and other such horrors and then come back to this thread.

Stomp Tokyo -- More reviews, less media. Lots of foreign B/Cult film love and hate (Live Action "8-Man" I'm looking at you!)
I would also recommend the Agony Booth. Fewer movies, but better site design and much more in-depth recaps.

In addition to those three, also Jabootu's Bad Movie Dimension.

Equinox2003 · Post by **Equinox2003** » 2006-06-16 07:25pm

Rambo 3, Rocky 3,4,5 Stop! Or my mom will shoot, Batman & Robin,
Titanic, yes, Titanic. They knew each other for what? 3 days? Big love story MY ASS. The Scary Movie series as wel. Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man, Howard the Duck.

wautd · Post by **wautd** » 2006-06-16 07:36pm

Majin Gojira wrote:Okay, Time for some edumacation!

Bad Movies.org -- Review site with clips and waves to show how bad movies are. Try "The Giant Claw", "Attack of the Supermonsters", "The Beast of Yucca Flats" and other such horrors and then come back to this thread.
)

Heh... forgot about that site

Move over Terminator. Make room for teh Eliminator

Lettuce · Post by **Lettuce** » 2006-06-16 11:57pm

Did anyone else see the new version of The Crow with the kid from American History X ? It was very puzzling. It basically had the same plot with a few small changes.... and Tara Reid? It was painfully bad.
I'm not quite sure if it was real though. It could have been a 4am hallucination.

Dennis Toy · Post by **Dennis Toy** » 2006-06-17 12:10am

http://www.badmovies.org/multimedia/mov ... ators1.mpg

your telling me there was such a movie as THIS. I mean a man who looks like an off-road centaur. They call him the eliminator.

VF5SS · Post by **VF5SS** » 2006-06-17 12:16am

Move over Robocop, make way for ROBO VAMPIRE

Frank Hipper · Post by **Frank Hipper** » 2006-06-17 02:48am

Jesus, how could I forget Solarbabies?

"Spectacular science-fiction/adventure on blazing skates!"...no, no it's not.

Absolutely horrific.

Zero · Post by **Zero** » 2006-06-17 02:54am

Frank Hipper wrote:Jesus, how could I forget Solarbabies?

"Spectacular science-fiction/adventure on blazing skates!"...no, no it's not.

Absolutely horrific.

I'm betting that they were targetting the perma-virgin sci-fi fan stereotype.

Pick · Post by **Pick** » 2006-06-17 02:55am

God, what about Wishmaster?

That was a god-damned awful movie. Lots of potential, no merit.

Frank Hipper · Post by **Frank Hipper** » 2006-06-17 03:09am

Zero132132 wrote:
Frank Hipper wrote:Jesus, how could I forget Solarbabies?

"Spectacular science-fiction/adventure on blazing skates!"...no, no it's not.

Absolutely horrific.
I'm betting that they were targetting the perma-virgin sci-fi fan stereotype.

Ya know, that was the most incredibly perma-virgin sci-fi fan sterotype afflicted kid in High School's favorite movie, I shit you not.

It was sad, he was sad...18 years old and he still had a 13 year old's wispy moustache and the stereotypical nasal voice.

Big Orange · Post by **Big Orange** » 2006-06-17 08:13am

Death from the Sea wrote:
Big Orange wrote:And Sean Connery was being.... well... Sean Connery.
that had better not been a dig on the main man.... Sean Connery is fucking awesome and even when "being himself" is by far a better actor than many of todays taunted actors....

Well I liked Sean Connery as Bond, I thought he was at his best in underrated 70s early 80s films such as Robin and Marian and Outland. But ever since the mid 80s Sean Connery has always played himself and couldn't be bothered to change his broad Scottish accent.

SylasGaunt · Post by **SylasGaunt** » 2006-06-17 09:11am

Ah Bad Movies.org.. haven't looked there in a while and hey they liked Six-String Samurai to.

Jim Raynor · Post by **Jim Raynor** » 2006-06-17 10:49am

Lord Pounder wrote:Also nominating Donnie Darko. The movie was pure unadulterated shite. I remember seeing it long before BBC Radio 1 started telling every body it was cool. Me and my date that night just looked at each other and at exactly the same time said "what the fuck was that?". It was like an episide of Voyager on LSD. The people 've met who liked it have yet to explain proprly what the movie was about.

Stark wrote:The best part about Donnie Darko is the 'explanation' from the writer isn't ACTUALLY in the movie. I like melting art students pseudointellectuals by pointing out he basically travelled in time so he could get laid before he died. That's... deep. Or something

Oh God did Donnie Darko suck. I was actually going to nominate it in this thread, but I didn't because the movie is actually well-regarded (for some reason

) and I didn't know how its fans would respond. Donnie Darko is like fucking Evangelion. It's incomprehensible crap that most of its own fanboys probably don't understand, but it tries to be all "deep" and "important."

I saw it on TV a couple months ago, after hearing about how cool it was on the internet. Like Evangelion, I saw it to learn what all the buzz was about. I knew it would be weird, but unlike Evangelion, I actually expected it to be good. Boy was I wrong.

Is it just me, or did it seem like that movie was going out of its way to pander to the leftist, pseudointellectual student counter culture? There was the way Donnie threw a hissy fit in class because his teacher was giving an overly simplistic lesson on right and wrong, the satirical look at suburban America, the negative portrayal of little girl pop music bands, and the arrogant self-help guru (loved by all the parent characters) who turned out to be a pedophile. I think that explains why so many young people love this stupid movie.

Lettuce · Post by **Lettuce** » 2006-06-17 11:02am

Is it just me, or did it seem like that movie was going out of its way to pander to the leftist, pseudointellectual student counter culture? There was the way Donnie threw a hissy fit in class because his teacher was giving an overly simplistic lesson on right and wrong, the satirical look at suburban America, the negative portrayal of little girl pop music bands, and the arrogant self-help guru (loved by all the parent characters) who turned out to be a pedophile. I think that explains why so many young people love this stupid movie.

I didn't mind the movie the first time I saw it, because I thought it was an interesting way to show a kid with a mental illness. But, as I learned yesterday, that had nothing to do with the plot.
I watched it again last night, and my head almost exploded. The writing is poor, and I have to agree with you, it does seem to try to force really random left-wing nonsense.
I guess that's why the movie is so popular with the goth/emo "I hate my upper-middle class life" set.

Red Star · Post by **Red Star** » 2006-06-17 01:05pm

The last movie that I seen that sucked ass was MI 3.
Awsome action..... Thats it, nothing else good about it.
Between the action parts I actually had a couple of naps.
But what can you expect from Tom Cruise (actually I liked most of his movies, but this one just sucks).

Gil Hamilton · Post by **Gil Hamilton** » 2006-06-17 01:14pm

The two most incomprehensibly bad movies I've seen were both at "Bad Movie Night". They were:

"The Horror of the Blood Monsters"

and

"Xanadu"

I'm sure most people have heard of the latter and I refuse to recount the things I witnessed in the former. I refuse.

Equinox2003 · Post by **Equinox2003** » 2006-06-17 03:13pm

Speaking of AMerican History X (as the other poster was) I have to add that to my list as well. It was pathetic. A lousy tale of race relations, using the two most extreme stereotypes Nazi type whites and ghetto blasting gun packing blacks.

Lord Pounder · Post by **Lord Pounder** » 2006-06-17 03:32pm

No way, that movie had a great twist at the end.

Also want to mominate The Fast And the Furious 2. Everything that made the first movie tolerable was gone and we where left with what Paul Walker laughingly calles acting, no Vin Diesel and no fit women. I also considered the cars less impressive.

Faqa · Post by **Faqa** » 2006-06-17 04:24pm

Equinox2003 wrote:Speaking of AMerican History X (as the other poster was) I have to add that to my list as well. It was pathetic. A lousy tale of race relations, using the two most extreme stereotypes Nazi type whites and ghetto blasting gun packing blacks.

It was SUPPOSED to show how far America still had to go in race relations. I will agree it relied too much on shock value(re: prison and curb scenes), but the POINT was to show the extremes on racists and the ghetto-blacks. Would you rather have a re-hash of "Missisipi Burning"?

Either way, I'd hardly classify it as sucky. Not as important as it thinks it is, sure, but sucky?

Stofsk · Post by **Stofsk** » 2006-06-17 04:33pm

Gil Hamilton wrote:I'm sure most people have heard of the latter and I refuse to recount the things I witnessed in the former. I refuse.

Oh go on.

Guardsman Bass · Post by **Guardsman Bass** » 2006-06-17 09:53pm

I tend to feel sympathetic towards low-budget bad movies because really, they don't have a lot of options - their special effects are going to be cheesy.

It's big movie blahs that I despise, like The Ghosts of Mars.

Lord Pounder · Post by **Lord Pounder** » 2006-06-18 09:10am

Guardsman Bass wrote:I tend to feel sympathetic towards low-budget bad movies because really, they don't have a lot of options - their special effects are going to be cheesy.

It's big movie blahs that I despise, like The Ghosts of Mars.

If ghosts of Mars had such a big budget why couldn't they afford to get Natasha Henstridge to unleash her baps? The SFX weren't that impressive so the cash had to go somewhere.

Tsyroc · Post by **Tsyroc** » 2006-06-18 01:48pm

It was a John Carpenter movie so the budget couldn't have been that big.

Flagg · Post by **Flagg** » 2006-06-18 01:56pm

Mission to Mars was godawful, and the same is true of Red Planet.
But I have to say the worst movie I can think of right now is Deep Blue Sea. Dear god was that bad. It had a convoluted setup, a downright retarded plot, and the morons who made it obviously never read a fucking book about sharks considering the fact that the 'tiger shark' was exactly the same as the mako sharks, they just happened to have stripes. There is so much about that movie that I hate.

As for some of the movies I've seen mentioned, I liked Contact because it stayed true to the spirit of the book and didn't cop out and show some lame bland grey alien at the end. I also enjoyed the hell out of Reign of Fire.

Lord Zentei · Post by **Lord Zentei** » 2006-06-18 02:48pm

Further dishonourable mention goes to "Zed" starring Sean Connery. Basically, Connery (as the title character) plays a kill-crazed superhuman in a post apocalyptic setting. He finds his way into a colony of highly intelligent immortals, whose society has become decadent. What followrs is an hour and a half of insipid, low budget, directionless "trying to be arty-farty but failing at it" bollocks. As one reviewer said "the best thing about the movie is seeing Sean Connery in diapers for two hours" or words to that effect.

Flagg wrote:Mission to Mars was godawful, and the same is true of Red Planet.
But I have to say the worst movie I can think of right now is Deep Blue Sea. Dear god was that bad. It had a convoluted setup, a downright retarded plot, and the morons who made it obviously never read a fucking book about sharks considering the fact that the 'tiger shark' was exactly the same as the mako sharks, they just happened to have stripes. There is so much about that movie that I hate.

And one would think that opening an encyclopedia to see what a tiger shark looks like wouldn't bee too hard.

Flagg wrote:As for some of the movies I've seen mentioned, I liked Contact because it stayed true to the spirit of the book and didn't cop out and show some lame bland grey alien at the end. I also enjoyed the hell out of Reign of Fire.

Reign of fire was massively silly, but one could enjoy it as a popcorn flic.

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Incomprehensibly sucky movies

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