Incomprehensibly sucky movies

[Patrick Degan]

Further dishonourable mention goes to "Zed" starring Sean Connery. Basically, Connery (as the title character) plays a kill-crazed superhuman in a post apocalyptic setting. He finds his way into a colony of highly intelligent immortals, whose society has become decadent. What followrs is an hour and a half of insipid, low budget, directionless "trying to be arty-farty but failing at it" bollocks. As one reviewer said "the best thing about the movie is seeing Sean Connery in diapers for two hours" or words to that effect.

The movie was Zardoz; Zed was the name of Connery's character. While Connery's worst film, it's light years ahead of utter shit like Battlefield Dearth, which is just about as unwatchable as any film can be.

[Lord Zentei]

Further dishonourable mention goes to "Zed" starring Sean Connery. Basically, Connery (as the title character) plays a kill-crazed superhuman in a post apocalyptic setting. He finds his way into a colony of highly intelligent immortals, whose society has become decadent. What followrs is an hour and a half of insipid, low budget, directionless "trying to be arty-farty but failing at it" bollocks. As one reviewer said "the best thing about the movie is seeing Sean Connery in diapers for two hours" or words to that effect.

The movie was Zardoz; Zed was the name of Connery's character. While Connery's worst film, it's light years ahead of utter shit like Battlefield Dearth, which is just about as unwatchable as any film can be.

Ah, yes: been a while since I saw it.

As for Battlefield Earth - I have no plans to do so.

[Erik von Nein]

Mission to Mars was godawful, and the same is true of Red Planet.
But I have to say the worst movie I can think of right now is Deep Blue Sea. Dear god was that bad. It had a convoluted setup, a downright retarded plot, and the morons who made it obviously never read a fucking book about sharks considering the fact that the 'tiger shark' was exactly the same as the mako sharks, they just happened to have stripes. There is so much about that movie that I hate.

Wasn't that also the movie that had the shark swim backwards as proof of it's super intellegence? Christ, people! Sharks are physically incapable of swimming backwards! It's not a matter of intellegence! Dumbfucks.

Actually, that whole movie was an insult to science.

[SylasGaunt]

It's been a while since I saw it but it wasn't ever touted that the shark swam backwards due to an intelligence boost. They were mutant sharks, and in fact as I recall the characters actually say that it should have been impossible.

[Erik von Nein]

It's been a while since I saw it but it wasn't ever touted that the shark swam backwards due to an intelligence boost. They were mutant sharks, and in fact as I recall the characters actually say that it should have been impossible.

They weren't mutated enough, since they still looked like normal sharks. They'd have to have fins capable of making a sweeping motion backwards, like how fish swim backwards. They're fins were still more or less stuck on "straight out" like most sharks. It's still retarded.

[Flagg]

Mission to Mars was godawful, and the same is true of Red Planet.
But I have to say the worst movie I can think of right now is Deep Blue Sea. Dear god was that bad. It had a convoluted setup, a downright retarded plot, and the morons who made it obviously never read a fucking book about sharks considering the fact that the 'tiger shark' was exactly the same as the mako sharks, they just happened to have stripes. There is so much about that movie that I hate.

Wasn't that also the movie that had the shark swim backwards as proof of it's super intellegence? Christ, people! Sharks are physically incapable of swimming backwards! It's not a matter of intellegence! Dumbfucks.

Actually, that whole movie was an insult to science.

Yeah, I was going to bring that up, but it strikes me as pretty nitpicky compared to the overall celluloid abortion that was Deep Blue Sea.