Prehistoric Diarrhea (More spoilers than a rice rocket)

[GrandMasterTerwynn]

I just got back from seeing Star Trek: Nemesis. To adequately convey how I felt about this movie, please imagine the following scene:

Imagine that it is 125 million years ago. You are a small, furry primitive mammal that has just emerged from it's burrow. Now, imagine that towering above you is a seismosaurus (A really, really big herbivore.) Now, imagine that this seismosaur has a severe case of diarrhea. Furthermore, imagine that this seismosaur has just voided the contents of it's bowels. At this moment, three tons of hot, steaming dinosaur shit is coming down at you.

That mountain of shit is Nemesis.

No, Nemesis would be more like the entire herd of seismosaurs voiding their bowels on you, the furry little protomammal.

In short, I did not like this movie.

Why?

Well, I put my spoiler warning up above so . . .

A) The radiation-of-the-week wankfest. When the little device left behind by the Romulan senator went off, it sprayed these little green particles everywhere. It turns out to be this horseshit radiation. I would've bought the concept of a nanotech bioweapon (a'la Wing Commander IV) But the Trek radiation of the week made me sick. (Though the Romulans turning to stone was cool.)

B) "Positronic emissions are only produced by androids like myself." Once again, Data, king of scientific error, fucks up again. Or did he forget that our galaxy produces a big halo of antiparticles?

C) The dune-buggy. It has no armor, it's cockpit is ridiculously exposed, and it's primary weapon is suitable for use only when the buggy is running away. Which it must do often. Especially given what the "primitive" aliens have.

1 - Scout vehicles with enclosed cockpits and a gun that can be employed offensively as well as defensively. Oh, did I mention that the bottoms of the alien scout vehicles are armored?

2 - An actual APC with armor and guns.

3 - Possibly even one MBT that looked like a Sherman (Though this could've been the APC)

What this means is that a primitive, pre-warp civilization could own Starfleet in ground combat. (Well, come to think of it, this primitive pre-warp civilization could whip Starfleet in ground combat.)

D) The crew of the Enterprise cheerfully wait around for 17 hours while they are ignored by a hostile power.

E) How did a planet so far out from it's primary end up tidally locked? And the Remans should be living near the terminator (Where day meets night.) Not the other side of the planet.

F) When a big uber-ship with the ability to wipe out all of humanity goes on a rampage, what does Starfleet cough up to try to stop it? Eight ships.

G) The Romulans can only send two ships to help Picard. Which is fair, as Janeway could only have sent eight if she had known.

H) The Enterprise has all of eight quantum torpedoes.

I) The Remans have the stupidest starfighter in all of sci-fi. It's basically just a cockpit and some anti-gravs strapped on for good measure.

J) Starfleet personel are stupid. They stand around and get shot at. They deserve what they get.

K) Starfleet emergency force fields are also stupid. They come on thirty seconds after the hull is breached. Just enough time for some stupid redshirt to get sucked out into space. At least they've put force fields around the warp core so that hits only knock it offline, rather than causing it to explode. At least they've invented the concept of maneuvering in three dimensions, rolling their weakest shields away from their enemy and coordinating their attacks.

L) Data sacrificing himself was just funny. Not sad, funny. Oh yea, the Scmitar goes up like the Death Star. (Complete with weird ring.)

M) They just shamelessly rip off TWOK some more. And more.

In short, this movie mostly sucked worse than Insurrection.

[GrandMasterTerwynn]

Oh yeah. Did I mention that until Nemesis, I never found a movie where I wanted to root for the bad guys more than the good guys?

[Sea Skimmer]

Oh yeah. Did I mention that until Nemesis, I never found a movie where I wanted to root for the bad guys more than the good guys?

*Motions guards forward*


The Dune buggy did have a bit of armor, the forward hood was hit several times without being holed. Though with such small caliber machine guns normal steel would have been sufficient.

[Enlightenment]

Don't hold back, Terwynn, tell us what you really think.

[johnmarkley]

...and it's primary weapon is suitable for use only when the buggy is running away

I don't think it's fair to criticize the movie for this. Based on what we've previously seen of Fed ground combat abilities, that sounds like an ideal design for them.

[Master of Ossus]

The primitive race's machine gun didn't look like anything remotely advanced, but one would have thought they could have hit the Argo's crew with it, given that at times they were just a few meters away while firing their weapon and moving at about the same speed as the Argo in about the same direction.

[Darth Fanboy]

Oh yeah. Did I mention that until Nemesis, I never found a movie where I wanted to root for the bad guys more than the good guys?

We'll I rooted for the Empire in the original trilogy but I know what you mean.

Anyone else here think the reason the Scimitar was cloaked all the time was to save some $$$ on the battle scenes? The thing was cloaked constantly and when you do see it the pictures were so bad i'd rather watch an old Flash Gordon spaceship and its Roman Candle exhaust.

[Larz]

The Argo is still a piss poor design. Though the King Arther "Run away!" tactic seems to work rather well for starfleet, you'd figure that they would put just a tad more armor in the ass section where they're being shot at. The only thing between Worf and .50 cal Browning M-4 fire (thats what the gun looked like to me... actually, the enemy crafts looked like modern military buggys) was the gun that he had before him. I would also like to point out Picards, for the most part, tactic of driving straight away from his enemy.

I also enjoy Picards "Rambo" entrance into the schmiter. 1 carzed man running about a vessel with a race of warriors on it, shining his flashlight around and shooting everything in sight... need I say more about his tactics...

[DocMoriartty]

I just got back from seeing Star Trek:

In short, I did not like this movie.

Why?

Well, I put my spoiler warning up above so . . .

A) The radiation-of-the-week wankfest. When the little device left behind by the Romulan senator went off, it sprayed these little green particles everywhere. It turns out to be this horseshit radiation. I would've bought the concept of a nanotech bioweapon (a'la Wing Commander IV) But the Trek radiation of the week made me sick. (Though the Romulans turning to stone was cool.)

B) "Positronic emissions are only produced by androids like myself." Once again, Data, king of scientific error, fucks up again. Or did he forget that our galaxy produces a big halo of antiparticles?

C) The dune-buggy. It has no armor, it's cockpit is ridiculously exposed, and it's primary weapon is suitable for use only when the buggy is running away. Which it must do often. Especially given what the "primitive" aliens have.

1 - Scout vehicles with enclosed cockpits and a gun that can be employed offensively as well as defensively. Oh, did I mention that the bottoms of the alien scout vehicles are armored?

2 - An actual APC with armor and guns.

3 - Possibly even one MBT that looked like a Sherman (Though this could've been the APC)

What this means is that a primitive, pre-warp civilization could own Starfleet in ground combat. (Well, come to think of it, this primitive pre-warp civilization could whip Starfleet in ground combat.)

D) The crew of the Enterprise cheerfully wait around for 17 hours while they are ignored by a hostile power.

E) How did a planet so far out from it's primary end up tidally locked? And the Remans should be living near the terminator (Where day meets night.) Not the other side of the planet.

F) When a big uber-ship with the ability to wipe out all of humanity goes on a rampage, what does Starfleet cough up to try to stop it? Eight ships.

G) The Romulans can only send two ships to help Picard. Which is fair, as Janeway could only have sent eight if she had known.

H) The Enterprise has all of eight quantum torpedoes.

I) The Remans have the stupidest starfighter in all of sci-fi. It's basically just a cockpit and some anti-gravs strapped on for good measure.

J) Starfleet personel are stupid. They stand around and get shot at. They deserve what they get.

K) Starfleet emergency force fields are also stupid. They come on thirty seconds after the hull is breached. Just enough time for some stupid redshirt to get sucked out into space. At least they've put force fields around the warp core so that hits only knock it offline, rather than causing it to explode. At least they've invented the concept of maneuvering in three dimensions, rolling their weakest shields away from their enemy and coordinating their attacks.

L) Data sacrificing himself was just funny. Not sad, funny. Oh yea, the Scmitar goes up like the Death Star. (Complete with weird ring.)

M) They just shamelessly rip off TWOK some more. And more.

In short, this movie mostly sucked worse than Insurrection.

A. Cannot agree more with this.

B. Data should have said "Positronic emmisions like THIS" empahsising something about them that is unique to his neural net.

C. Look at a USN Frigate, they only mount the CIWS on the rear of the ship. Why? Becuse the ships are not intended for combat with an air threat and it forces the captain to retreat and save the ship. The dune buggy could have been designed with the same thought in mind.

D. Ever see diplomacy in action? First you sit around for hours on end, then you spend hours saying the same thing over and over again, then you sit around for even more hours on end.

E. Agreed

F. Remember how slow Fed ships are. That might be all that can get there in time. Besides no one places all their eggs in a basket. They were meeting the E-E there based on a theory. IF Picard had been wrong and the entire fleet was there then nothing would be left back at Earth to protect it.

G. Time and distance.

H. We can assume more were fired off screen. One would have thought though that they would have started firing torps with predetermined detonation distances. Shoot them like flak guns. OR even better, let Data handle the weapons. With his reflexes in theory he should be able to blast the Scimitar easily in the 1-2 second windows of opportunity when she fired.

I. Yep.

J. Too bad no one thought to carry a grenade or at leat set a hand phaser on overload and throw it around the corner. Boom no more borders. Also who sends the 2nd and 4th in command to repel borders. Work as chief of security should have been at a central command center giving orders to various defensive teams. Within 10 seconds of encoutering the Remans another squad should have hit them from behind and wiped them out.

K. I actually said "about time" when I saw the force field around the warp core.

L. I didnt fint it funny. Data was one of the few characters I liked.

[Master of Ossus]

Doctor Moriarty, please refer to my thread on SF fleet sizes. It is clear that they only had 7 ships available to protect Earth.

[Patrick Degan]

D. Ever see diplomacy in action? First you sit around for hours on end, then you spend hours saying the same thing over and over again, then you sit around for even more hours on end.

Hmm... Much like a typical episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation.

[Raoul Duke, Jr.]

The Argo is still a piss poor design. Though the King Arther "Run away!" tactic seems to work rather well for starfleet, you'd figure that they would put just a tad more armor in the ass section where they're being shot at. The only thing between Worf and .50 cal Browning M-4 fire (thats what the gun looked like to me... actually, the enemy crafts looked like modern military buggys) was the gun that he had before him. I would also like to point out Picards, for the most part, tactic of driving straight away from his enemy.

I also enjoy Picards "Rambo" entrance into the schmiter. 1 carzed man running about a vessel with a race of warriors on it, shining his flashlight around and shooting everything in sight... need I say more about his tactics...

Hey, give Baldy some credit here... at least he didn't try to fucking talk them to death... or not as much, anyway...