Centipede 1, Superman 0 (plus a broken digital camera)

Superman · Post by **Superman** » 2006-06-26 09:10am

Ok, so lately when I sit here at my desk, I've noticed an increase in random bugs on the wall, mostly spiders. Some are a bit large, but I really just leave them alone and let them go about their business. Earlier tonight, I noticed one on the wall; then an hour later, I noticed another one... I just kind of thought 'eh' and went back to my business... Just a bit ago, I look up and see this fucker crawling in front of me.

Centipedes are where I draw the line.

I then thought I should get some evidence, so I grabbed my wife's digital camera and started taking pictures. The things is, every picture was blurry and looked like shit (see pics). So, I'm trying to adjust all these stupid settings on the damn camera, and trying to follow the centipede too so it can't get away...

I put the camera down, moved a chair, then followed it some more. As I followed it, it turned around. So I moved a TV set, and realized the camera was on it. It hit the ground and *splat* no more camera.

Anyway, I salvaged these blurry pictures from it. As of now, the little fucker is in a coffee can on my desk awaiting his judgement. I think death by spray or squashing is a little too easy. Anyone know what preys on these fuckers?

Majin Gojira · Post by **Majin Gojira** » 2006-06-26 09:16am

5cm? That's pretty darn big.

Cenetpedes that size are generally preyed upon by small mammals, lizards, snakes or larger amphibians. Larger spiders or Beetles will also eat them.

That centepede was probably following the OTHER insects you've seen--some species can eat bugs as large as cocroaches.

Superman · Post by **Superman** » 2006-06-26 09:25am

Majin Gojira wrote:5cm? That's pretty darn big.

Cenetpedes that size are generally preyed upon by small mammals, lizards, snakes or larger amphibians. Larger spiders or Beetles will also eat them.

That centepede was probably following the OTHER insects you've seen--some species can eat bugs as large as cocroaches.

Yeah, that's what I was thinking.... although technically, I have only seen arachnids, not insects.

When summer hits, the bugs love to get in. I wish I had a gigantic pet praying mantis or something...

I haven't seen any spiders that equal this centipede's size. I guess I'm going to have to find something else... Actually, I do know where some frogs are. I know they would eat this.

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2006-06-26 09:31am

I see centipedes in the house every now and then. Many of them are bigger than that. Generally speaking, I don't try to be creative with their punishments. I just grab some toilet paper, squish them, drop 'em in the toilet, and flush. It's not like the thing can consciously understand what's happening to it anyway; it's a mindless bug.

Superman · Post by **Superman** » 2006-06-26 09:33am

Darth Wong wrote:I see centipedes in the house every now and then. Many of them are bigger than that. Generally speaking, I don't try to be creative with their punishments. I just grab some toilet paper, squish them, drop 'em in the toilet, and flush. It's not like the thing can consciously understand what's happening to it anyway; it's a mindless bug.

True; however, this one was responsible for the breaking of my digital camera!

Ok... I did it myself... but I still blame it!

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2006-06-26 10:18am

Superman wrote:
Darth Wong wrote:I see centipedes in the house every now and then. Many of them are bigger than that. Generally speaking, I don't try to be creative with their punishments. I just grab some toilet paper, squish them, drop 'em in the toilet, and flush. It's not like the thing can consciously understand what's happening to it anyway; it's a mindless bug.
True; however, this one was responsible for the breaking of my digital camera!

Ok... I did it myself... but I still blame it!

Well, if you really want to torture a mindless bug, I have two words for you: Microwave Oven.

Ubiquitous · Post by **Ubiquitous** » 2006-06-26 10:37am

Whilst it may be a mindless bug, I simply cannot kill a creature without feeling guilty. Am I enlightened or just a big wuss?

Let it live!

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2006-06-26 10:43am

Ubiquitous wrote:Whilst it may be a mindless bug, I simply cannot kill a creature without feeling guilty. Am I enlightened or just a big wuss?

Let it live!

Better throw away all of your antibiotics then. That's mass murder.

Post by **Ghost Rider** » 2006-06-26 10:54am

Ubiquitous wrote:Whilst it may be a mindless bug, I simply cannot kill a creature without feeling guilty. Am I enlightened or just a big wuss?

Let it live!

Wuss. I give crickets and such to my cat for her amusement. The rest recieve a single and easy punishment.

Death, as swift as I an make it

Superman · Post by **Superman** » 2006-06-26 11:02am

Darth Wong wrote:Well, if you really want to torture a mindless bug, I have two words for you: Microwave Oven.

Muahahahaha... OH, the hijinks that will ensue...

By the way, how venomous are these?

Tasoth · Post by **Tasoth** » 2006-06-26 11:13am

It'll hurt if it bites you, and that's about it. I think the more venomous centipedes are about the size of your hand or such. Microwave that sumbitch.

Bounty · Post by **Bounty** » 2006-06-26 11:59am

You people are not thinking this true. You tried to catch the bastard and he broke your camera. If you try to kill him, he'll probably wreck your car or burn down your house or something.

I suggest you get him a drink and apologise profusely before this gets out of hand.

Mrs Kendall · Post by **Mrs Kendall** » 2006-06-26 12:24pm

Supes do not microwave that thing, if you do then you better be the one who thoroughly cleans your microwave out... Ewww centipeade guts all over your microwave YUK!

If you must do this then enclose it in a container that you don't mind throwing out and put a bit of water inside it, so it boils... Mwahahahaha!! I HATE centipeades... *is all itchy and goosebumpy now*

Superman · Post by **Superman** » 2006-06-26 12:35pm

The centipede is dead! Although its death was not expected...

I had a coffee can that I had just used up, so it had some grounds in it and smelled strongly of coffee. That's where I put him. He was dead within 2 hours.

Coffee = centipede poison? Hmmm... perhaps further research is needed...

Mrs Kendall · Post by **Mrs Kendall** » 2006-06-26 12:37pm

Oh, that's weird

At least your microwave stayed clean

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2006-06-26 12:50pm

I must admit that I once did something similar when I was a teenager. An earwig crawled up my telephone line and bit me on the ear while I was talking. After freaking out a bit, I captured the offending insect, put it into a yogurt jar, and microwaved it. It was pretty neat to see its rapid spasmodic twitching. By the way Mrs. K, it never blew up. It just twitched like mad, and its body elongated slightly.

Amazingly, it was still alive after its trip through the microwave, so I put it in the freezer overnight. The next morning, I microwaved it again, and it was apparently still alive because it started twitching again. So I froze it again. The second day, I microwaved it again, and it just lay there. Earwigs are tough little bastards.

Superman · Post by **Superman** » 2006-06-26 01:31pm

Darth Wong wrote:I must admit that I once did something similar when I was a teenager. An earwig crawled up my telephone line and bit me on the ear while I was talking. After freaking out a bit, I captured the offending insect, put it into a yogurt jar, and microwaved it. It was pretty neat to see its rapid spasmodic twitching. By the way Mrs. K, it never blew up. It just twitched like mad, and its body elongated slightly.

Amazingly, it was still alive after its trip through the microwave, so I put it in the freezer overnight. The next morning, I microwaved it again, and it was apparently still alive because it started twitching again. So I froze it again. The second day, I microwaved it again, and it just lay there. Earwigs are tough little bastards.

Yeah, this is really one of those things that guys do. You never hear women talk about doing things like this...but most guys have done this as kids and some, ahem, still do it into their twenties and beyond... It's like fart humor.

I catch this thing, get pissed because my camera broke taking its picture, and ask for advice on how to torture the little bastard. D. Wong, a professional engineer, comes to the rescue with "MICROWAVE IT" and it's on. I was getting my execution chamber all set up and everything, but it died in the coffee can... This is just one of those things that require testosterone and a Y chromosome. Sort of like The Three Stooges.

Mrs Kendall · Post by **Mrs Kendall** » 2006-06-26 01:36pm

No I know boys and men do it, I may have no brothers but I had lots of boy cousins whom I saw doing this kind of stuff regularily. I was just looking out for whomever cleans your microwave

Mike: I would have thought for sure that it would explode. That earwig story is very unsettling as we seem to have an earwig problem this year... at least it's not millions of baby ants like it was last year.

Superman · Post by **Superman** » 2006-06-26 01:42pm

Mrs Kendall wrote:No I know boys and men do it, I may have no brothers but I had lots of boy cousins whom I saw doing this kind of stuff regularily. I was just looking out for whomever cleans your microwave

Thank god for women... that's all I can say. While us dumb guys are busy frying lower life forms in our mock chambers of death, you're there going, "oh shit, who is going to clean it?"

If the little bastard blew up (having my wife still in Japan), I would probably get hungry later and cook something in there... bug guts or no bug guts.

Superman · Post by **Superman** » 2006-06-26 01:53pm

And by the way, this type of thing is exactly why men and women are not equal in every single goddamned way. Woman are better at certain things than men, and vice versa. I honestly don't know how some people can believe that men and women are supposed to be identical creatures, especially when there's more biological difference between the genders than there is between humans, as a species, and chimpanzees.

FSTargetDrone · Post by **FSTargetDrone** » 2006-06-26 02:01pm

Speaking of centipedes, last night when it finally stopped raining, I went for a walk through the housing development behind my apartment complex. On my way back, crossing the street over towards where I live, I saw *something* rapidly moving along the opposite sidewalk. I was halfway across the street at that moment, and it was dark, but the streetlight on the corner revealed that it was about 4 or 5 inches long, and it definitely moved like a centi- or millipede-type animal, with that sort of swaying side-to-side motion. I've never seen anything like that remotely as large AND as fast anywhere around here, ever. I thought it could have been a mouse, but it had no long tail and its thickness was the same along the length of its body.

I thought briefly about getting closer to check it out, but it disappeared into the grass. That, and being dragged to a horrible death beneath the street.

Superman · Post by **Superman** » 2006-06-26 02:10pm

FSTargetDrone wrote:Speaking of centipedes, last night when it finally stopped raining, I went for a walk through the housing development behind my apartment complex. On my way back, crossing the street over towards where I live, I saw *something* rapidly moving along the opposite sidewalk. I was halfway across the street at that moment, and it was dark, but the streetlight on the corner revealed that it was about 4 or 5 inches long, and it definitely moved like a centi- or millipede-type animal, with that sort of swaying side-to-side motion. I've never seen anything like that remotely as large AND as fast anywhere around here, ever. I thought it could have been a mouse, but it had no long tail and its thickness was the same along the length of its body.

I thought briefly about getting closer to check it out, but it disappeared into the grass. That, and being dragged to a horrible death beneath the street.

In what part of the world do you live?

Yeah, those little bastards are hard to get when they're outside and on their own turf. When they come into your house and start climbing on the walls though... the tables turn... Yeah, whose the lower life form now?

Mrs Kendall · Post by **Mrs Kendall** » 2006-06-26 02:18pm

Superman wrote: If the little bastard blew up (having my wife still in Japan), I would probably get hungry later and cook something in there... bug guts or no bug guts.

That's just fucking gross Supes. I'm glad I'm not your wife... I hope my hubby wouldn't do such a thing cause I kiss him on a regular basis

Superman · Post by **Superman** » 2006-06-26 02:24pm

Mrs Kendall wrote:
Superman wrote: If the little bastard blew up (having my wife still in Japan), I would probably get hungry later and cook something in there... bug guts or no bug guts.
That's just fucking gross Supes. I'm glad I'm not your wife... I hope my hubby wouldn't do such a thing cause I kiss him on a regular basis

Eh, protein is protein... My wife would have intercepted that before I would have had a chance to cook in it, if she were here. It's really a wonder I'm still alive after having to live apart for this long...

What are ya gonna do? When hunger calls, I have to answer... My stomach waits for no bug guts!

FSTargetDrone · Post by **FSTargetDrone** » 2006-06-26 02:36pm

Superman wrote:In what part of the world do you live?

Yeah, those little bastards are hard to get when they're outside and on their own turf. When they come into your house and start climbing on the walls though... the tables turn... Yeah, whose the lower life form now?

Whoops, sorry. I live near Philadelphia, PA. I've lived in the general area for all my life, we don't usually see anything like that, this big. Wish I had my camera at the time.

Other than that, the largest crawly-things I've ever seen (aside from mantises) are roaches. And that was only in the city.