How could nemesis be improved

[Chris OFarrell]

And before we go ANY further let me be blunt. I do NOT want any kind of stupid responses like 'not make the movie', 'destroy the ST franchise', 'have it invaded by the Empire' e.t.c, no stupid and unhelpful stuff. This is just a thread for wacking out ideas to keep more or less within the general plot (not write another whole movie) but to throw ideas around about how it could have been done better.

My ideas (just off the top of my head)

I have mixed feelings about the movie. I get the feeling that it was an interesting concept that could have been so much more if some things had been thought through. The Romulans as the villains makes a lot of sense. Its foreshadowed in several DS9 episodes that post Dominion war, the Romulans are going to be the question mark. The Dominion will head back to the Gamma Quadrent and hopefully with Odo's help will make strives in adopting a less paranoid nature. The Cardasians are shattered and going to spend a VERY long time rebuilding their military. The Klingons between the war with Cardasia, war with the UFP and war with the Dominion have had their military smashed and are going to spend the next decade rebuilding it back up again to full power according to S31's estimates. The UFP
took loses in the war, but even by the end of it it looks like they may well have made up for them to a large degree already. The Romulans entered the war late and S31 was convinced they would be the focus of the next major conflict in the AQ. So much so that towards the end of the Dominion war they turned a large part of their efforts to them, to the point that
they had the head of their intelligence community under their control and actively elected him to their equivalent of a cabinet.


Yet none of this was mentioned. The whole thing was just 'The mighty federation will fall before us bwhahahha!' They more or less abandoned all the possible plot opportunities and events from the Star Trek universe for a couple of lousy 'for the sake of it' references. Like theDominion war record refrence or Janeways presence in the film. There is more or less nothing that links it to the events in the Star Trek universe. It could have been so much more. The lack of any research into Star Trek shows rather bluntly in the movie. The director, the DIRECTOR of the movie knew diddily about it calling phasers 'ray guns', Geordi an Alien and rather clearly showing he knew nothing at all about the universe he was trying to make a movie on...which is a bad thing.


Many bits of the movie either didn't make sense, did little to advance the story, or were too underplayed/overplayed. Starting from the top:
The wedding scene at the start wasn't bad, but lacked the punch to really drive the whole Riker/Troi thing through. It should have been used later to really give even more to the Riker vs his fiance's tormentor. Hell, they cut out the hela cool line that was in the script when Riker delivers the death blow; "Don't worry. Hell is Dark" then sending him down yet another sci fi bottomless pit of doom. Just leaving that in would IMO have added just
that much more to the scene. Instead it came off as a much less intense moment then it could have, not so much an enraged Riker chasing down the person who had mind rapped his wife then just another part of the fight going on. Not to mention little boy Crushers sudden appearance, in a Starfleet uniform no less. It makes utterly no sense whatsoever. The last news we heard was that he was off as some energy being doing whatever. Now he is suddenly back in a starfleet uniform, the same orgnisatino that he disowned and said didn't suit him anymore, leaving it to follow his own path????

It just shows the contempt for continuity that exists. They cut out almost all his stuff so they can't explain WHY he has suddenly appeared for the wedding of Riker and Troi, but leave him in so we all stop to think 'eh??'....

B9 was not really that good of an idea IMO. First we have the remarkable co-incidence that the Enterprise picks it up, even when indications in TNG are that apparat from Lore and Data, no Soung androids survived (well except the replica of his wife). Simply bringing a new one in is a poor attempt at a plot and instantly lets us all know that for the nth movie in a
row we are heading down the 'Datas emotional development' road. In Generations, it was done well with the introduction of the emotion chip. In First Contact, it built on it. In Insurrection, Bevis and Buthead decided that actually continuing his growth was beyond their abilities and so the character regressed back to early-mid TNG with the simple words 'he
didn't take it with him' (RE the emotion chip) and as such, we lost everything. This is of course continued in this movie, we are back to the 'data questing to be human' crud that we covered three movies back and in TNG.....and its nothing but highly annoying now, especially with
the whole Picard mentor role again coming through covering the same ground. And while I'm on that topic, going over the whole Picard regretting the time thats passed, the whole POINT of Generations was Picard learning to accept everything thats happened and he regrets and leaving the past in the past.

B9's presence was explained in that it was there to get Shinzon the location of the Federation fleets before the invasion, a VERY weak excuse and rather unbelievable one. The only thing its good for and clearly was always MENT for, was to be a way to kill off Data without killing off Data. They tried to do the whole Spock/McCoy thing, but without a tenth the subtilty of ST2 and did it in a way that cheapened Datas sacrifice. And the whole black
armband / one toast to Data....Spock gets a formal funural, most of the crew in attendance as he is given a heros sendoff. Data gets a tiny little thing, which again downplays it more In line with a sudden B9 turns into Data in the next movie. Granted, it would smack of ST2 if you did a big flashy thing, but it could have been so much more. I mean if Riker or Picard died, I'm sure they would have done a hell of a lot more then simply done black armbands.


Not to mention the whole 'roadtrip' with the buggy was utterly useless except to show Picard going through a midlife crisis. Instead of doing something logical like just beaming the components all up before the ion storm arrived, he decided to fly down to a pre warp planet, drive around at high speed behind the wheel, blow some natives away, then get back upto the Enterprise, violating probably an even dozen Federation regulations. It was a waste of film to a supreme degree.


Shinzon was a very good idea IMO. It could have been worked so much better though if more time had been done. For example, the subtle play-counter play over a polite dinner, show the two even more the concept of being opposites but the same person at the same time. Both trying to reach the other. Deleate the whole dune buggy bit to put more of this in if you need to. A villain needs to be fleshed out. All the good Star Trek ones such as Chang, Khan (*especialy* Khan as *Kirks* Nemesis) heck even the Borg Queen were given more depth.

Expand on the whole Troi mindrape bit, make it even darker and more 'evil' for lack of a better term, her utter helplessness, anguish and horror, Riker loosing his cool over it, Picard preoccupied with 'himself' also loosing it and just a much higher level of tension then came across in the middle of the film, which to me appeared to just crawl along. It would make
Troi's 'psionic searching' and her satisfaction at getting revenge and even the courage she had to summon to just make the attempt appear that much more remarkable, make her hate flow out, utterly unlike the usualy reserved and clam Troi, make her a raging torrent of anger.

On the Romulan side of the equation, they were portrayed as far too simplistic and one dimensional

"Yey lets support this guy and take over the planet as for whatever reason we all want war with the Federation!"
...
"No lets all go against this guy and take him out as he is going to *gasp* use that weapon of mass destruction he made on EARTH in a WAR against the Federation!"

It was pathetic. The coupe is one thing. The military flip-flopping and doing nothing is another. If the people had actually WATCHED Star Trek, they would have realized there was a perfect character they could have brought in.

Sela Yar.

She is almost the perfect person to bring in. Consider. She is half human and while she has several times said to Picard that nothing Human in her survives, she appeared to always have a very defensive nature around that area, almost daring anyone to question it. She has led two failed attempts to hurt the UFP. Firstly by backing the Duras in the Klingon civil war and then in her attempted Trojen Horse operation against Vulcan. BOTH times, Picard (and Data) were directly responsible for her plans being thawed. She has every reason to hate the two of them.
And its easy to bring up a plot that uses her character, keeps with continuity and links back into the TV series. Basically here, I'm working up a lose and rough idea of how you could change the movie around a bit for a change.

Some time during her reign as a high ranking military official, she worked up 3 plans to hurt the UFP. The first was the involvement with the Duras. In this plan, Picard stoped her. Then she tried her hand with Spock on Romulas and this was also stoped. Annoyed, she came up with
the plan to clone Picard and insert the double to replace him, getting revenge against him AND getting a very important agent inside the UFP. However the utter failure of both her plans led to the senate caning her project. They demoted her and were going to terminate the
clone however she begged for them not to act rashly and so they sent it into the mines of Remus. However someone there watched carefully over him knowing he would prove useful some day.

Fast forward to beyond the Dominion war. The Government is mixed. Some want a much more open and peaceful relationship with the UFP, others still want to destroy it. The coupe go's off, Shinzon as before takes power with Sela and the line military backing him. B9 is planted a point to be 'found' by tripping a homing program in Data (similar to that one that led him to
shut down the Enterprise and take over it in TNG, but less troble) and it leads them to B9 (oh and Data's emotion chip is def on). Sela in order to get back at him programed B9 to destroy the E-E or something at an appropriate time as payback for all the grief Picard has given her. But beyond that she didn't want anything, simply bitter about the past and
wanting to even the score. Shizon however is pissed at the UFP, them being the reason that he was created, sent to hell and going to die unless he sucks Picards blood or whatever. So he plans to first suck Picard dry, then kill Earth and lead the Romulans, the military faction, in what they think is simply an attack on the Neutral zone to regain some planets that hundreds of years ago they concealed in the treaty with the UFP but still claimed as
their own. Simply restoring their pride after being apparently humiliated at the way their leaders were fawning at the UFP.

In the end, Picard is kidnaped then escapes from the warbird. B9 attemptt his act of sabotage and is about to succeeded, but Data is able to talk him out of it saying that he does have a choice (say Data uploaded his ethical program to him) and even as B9 dies from some cause in great pain, he knows he defies his nature (simply a programed killing machine)
and is at peace with it. So you have the question of does your nature decide you coming out with one possibility saying 'no'.

Then you have Sela. She finds out (after the E-E is making for the UFP at high warp with Shinzon chasing him) that his plan is to exterminate the home world of the humans in a fit of hate towards them. While she has always hid her human self, she admits to herself she can't stand by and let him do such an act without doing something, something which the rest of the military agrees with given that while they might be able to take back a few empty star systems and make enough noise to keep them, goading the entire UFP into an all out war isn't something they were looking forward to. So she heads off after him with her ship try and stop him and help the man she had once sworn to kill. So you have the same question this
time being decided (to a degree) in the 'yes'.

Then you have Picard and Shinzon. Massive space battle as before with Sela joining and while putting up a good struggle, her ship is badly hit by an enraged Shinzon, she who brought him to life and was supposed to share his hate of humanity having betrayed him. In the end, Picard almost gets through to Shinzon, but in the end Shinzon stays true to himself just as Picard does to himself and is about to destroy the E-E with the bioweapon before the Federation task force arrives and finishes off the warbird with a volley before it can fire. So you have the same idea being answered in different ways through different people, a character from the series that makes sense bringing Shinzon into being in a way that makes
sense.




Feal free to pick this appart, show how it would not work or be even worse or whatever :p

[Vympel]

I would've preferred if Shinzon was dropped altogether and it was Sela Yar versus the Enterprise-E crew, for the last time.

[Chris OFarrell]

I would've preferred if Shinzon was dropped altogether and it was Sela Yar versus the Enterprise-E crew, for the last time.

True enough. You'd have to rewrite more or less the entire movie, but it could work very well. She was a preaty tough customer.

[Gil Hamilton]

I largely agree with the above, only I would have went all the way and completely replaced Shinzon with Sela. You can even keep her connection with the Remans, after the second time she failed, the Romulans nailed her for it and sent her to Remus to slave away in the mines. That way, you can connect her with the Remans and not make it unrealistic for her to still have friends within the Romulan command, allowing her to build the Scimitar in secret. Plus, since she was never precisely sane, you can have her go completely nutzo in the Romulan slave mines, blaming Picard and Data and humanity in general for her enslavement and wanting to make them die thoroughly. She can make a new alliance with the claim that she'll use to Scimitar to finish what she started in TNG and take Vulcan, and while she's in the neighborhood, make a burrito out of Earth. The Scimitar is even the perfect way to make Vulcan surrender, with it, she can take the entire planet hostage and while holding the gun to the collective heads of the Vulcans, force StarFleet to let a proper invasion land on Vulcan (none of this 2000 man fighting force stuff, a real invasion). Also, the Scimitar, with it's super-cloak can make it to Vulcan without drawing attention to itself. Slip in, blow away what ever is in orbit, and hold the planet hostage.

[MKSheppard]

And before we go ANY further let me be blunt. I do NOT want any kind of stupid responses like 'not make the movie', 'destroy the ST franchise', 'have it invaded by the Empire' e.t.c, no stupid and unhelpful stuff. This is just a thread for wacking out ideas to keep more or less within the general plot (not write another whole movie) but to throw ideas around about how it could have been done better.

My ideas (just off the top of my head)

Feal free to pick this appart, show how it would not work or be even worse or whatever :p

Wow, I already did this:

http://bbs.stardestroyer.net/viewtopic.php?t=8234

[Stormbringer]

Simple, best way to improve Nemesis. Never aire it again, burn all the existing copies and mind wipe everyone that's seen it.

[Darth Wong]

Best way to improve Nemesis: have Berman and Braga brought onscreen during the final credits and shot.

[matus1976]

Some excellent suggestions indeed. Im not sure which I liked more, Sela yar helping to bring Shinzon to power, or her being the villian herself. Definately would have made for a better movie, its sad to hear that the star trek owners care so little about continuity. As I said after I saw this film, it was about as good as the worse Babylon 5 episode.

For the final battle from technical aspects, I would have had picard use his last volley of phaser fire to weaken the front sheilds of the scimitar while simaltaneously odering the ramming command. I would have written so that the final volley would dimish the frontal sheilds of the scimtar to the level of the enterprise frontal shields, at which case the vessels would have rammed, pummeling through each others sheilds and the ramming hull to hull. Lots of small explosions occur as SIF generators explode on the saucer and front of the scimitar, damaging both significantly. and impaling and intermingling one hull with the other. once sufficeiently impaled he should have immediately ordered a saucer seperation (here I would have established the E could seperate) and self destruct the saucer (they would have evacuated to the battle bridge after the large gaping hole in the primary bridge while running full reverse. The scimitar has no such capabilites, and instead tries to shake the saucer loose, partially succedding before the saucer detonates causing further damage to the scimitar.

Also, your right, that funeral for Data was patehtic!!! he should have gotten a full service, every main crew member standing at attention and solemn. The director must have been like 'oh, hes a robot, they wouldnt care if he died'.

Rediculous. Lets at least attempt to respect the fictionalized universe that roddenbury created.

Matus

[Alyeska]

Actually the best way for them to have attempted to drain the shields on the Scimitar would have been to throw every last scrap of energy into the Deflector dish. You would think after it having been done three times with the E-D that the Federation might turn it into an offical last ditch weapon. The Deflector energy while not enough to take down all the shields, is MORE then enough to punch right through a section of shields and smash the Scimitars reactor. Then they intiate ramming speed.

[Darth Wong]

Actually the best way for them to have attempted to drain the shields on the Scimitar would have been to throw every last scrap of energy into the Deflector dish. You would think after it having been done three times with the E-D that the Federation might turn it into an offical last ditch weapon. The Deflector energy while not enough to take down all the shields, is MORE then enough to punch right through a section of shields and smash the Scimitars reactor. Then they intiate ramming speed.

No. Think about it: that techno-tactic would come off as a pathetic deus ex machina to anyone who hadn't seen "Best of Both Worlds". Should we be writing movies exclusively for the benefit of people who have seen every single episode of Star Trek?

[DocMoriartty]

Actually the best way for them to have attempted to drain the shields on the Scimitar would have been to throw every last scrap of energy into the Deflector dish. You would think after it having been done three times with the E-D that the Federation might turn it into an offical last ditch weapon. The Deflector energy while not enough to take down all the shields, is MORE then enough to punch right through a section of shields and smash the Scimitars reactor. Then they intiate ramming speed.

No. Think about it: that techno-tactic would come off as a pathetic deus ex machina to anyone who hadn't seen "Best of Both Worlds". Should we be writing movies exclusively for the benefit of people who have seen every single episode of Star Trek?

If you want it to look good and be realistic then have the cripped Romulan cruiser with the chick on board suicide her ship into the nose of the Scimitar while setting off the self destruct. AMke it seem like this will be enough to destroy the Scimitar.

Then when this fails Worf can say that the Scimitars front shield is down to 5%. That would be the perfect time for Picard to issue his ramming speed order.

Also it would be nice if it looked like the E-E accelerated at better than 5 mph.

[Darth Servo]

Actually the best way for them to have attempted to drain the shields on the Scimitar would have been to throw every last scrap of energy into the Deflector dish. You would think after it having been done three times with the E-D that the Federation might turn it into an offical last ditch weapon. The Deflector energy while not enough to take down all the shields, is MORE then enough to punch right through a section of shields and smash the Scimitars reactor. Then they intiate ramming speed.

Three times? I know about BOBW and Night Terrors. When was the third?

[NecronLord]

1) remove the Clone thing. AotC can do it, GL already had that planned in 1977, but no picard clone.

2)The romulan senate do not all die

3)No Reamans

4)Beter design for the Uber cruiser of death

5)The romulan super weapon is some form of selective virus that kills all non-romulan humanoids

6)The romulan uber battleship of death is the deployment meathod for (5), and is superior in every way to a Fed ship.

7) climatic battle in orbit of earth between Uber Battleship of death, multiple D'Deridexes and some smaller ships, and the Federation Home Defense fleet. At the same time Data infiltrates the UBoD in an effort to destroy the Uber Deathy weapon

As Spiner wants to quit it, have him die, by activating the self-destruct on the UBoD, and not escaping.

[Alyeska]

Actually the best way for them to have attempted to drain the shields on the Scimitar would have been to throw every last scrap of energy into the Deflector dish. You would think after it having been done three times with the E-D that the Federation might turn it into an offical last ditch weapon. The Deflector energy while not enough to take down all the shields, is MORE then enough to punch right through a section of shields and smash the Scimitars reactor. Then they intiate ramming speed.

Three times? I know about BOBW and Night Terrors. When was the third?

That episode with the theif and the time pod, they altered their dish again to discharge large amounts of energy, though from the planets atmosphere them their own drives.

[Alyeska]

Actually the best way for them to have attempted to drain the shields on the Scimitar would have been to throw every last scrap of energy into the Deflector dish. You would think after it having been done three times with the E-D that the Federation might turn it into an offical last ditch weapon. The Deflector energy while not enough to take down all the shields, is MORE then enough to punch right through a section of shields and smash the Scimitars reactor. Then they intiate ramming speed.

No. Think about it: that techno-tactic would come off as a pathetic deus ex machina to anyone who hadn't seen "Best of Both Worlds". Should we be writing movies exclusively for the benefit of people who have seen every single episode of Star Trek?

They could have brought up the tactic in a briefing before the combat or something that they can concenrate all remaining energy from the ship through the deflector as a last ditch weapon.

[Darth Servo]

Actually the best way for them to have attempted to drain the shields on the Scimitar would have been to throw every last scrap of energy into the Deflector dish. You would think after it having been done three times with the E-D that the Federation might turn it into an offical last ditch weapon. The Deflector energy while not enough to take down all the shields, is MORE then enough to punch right through a section of shields and smash the Scimitars reactor. Then they intiate ramming speed.

Three times? I know about BOBW and Night Terrors. When was the third?

That episode with the theif and the time pod, they altered their dish again to discharge large amounts of energy, though from the planets atmosphere them their own drives.

I don't think that counts as a weapon.

[Howedar]

Ditch the slave bit.
Just kill Data, don't fuck around with a retarded half-brother.

[THEHOOLIGANJEDI]

I'd say Get rid of the Stupid Scimitar ship. It seemed like a shitty plot device.

Bring in the Whole Unification storyline. have Spock in there.

Have Sela be the Baddie, with Shinzon as her Underling, the Remens could be their army as they overthow the ProUnification/Federation Peace Talks, and try to Bring down the Federation.

I'll have more...

[Yogi]

Actually the best way for them to have attempted to drain the shields on the Scimitar would have been to throw every last scrap of energy into the Deflector dish. You would think after it having been done three times with the E-D that the Federation might turn it into an offical last ditch weapon. The Deflector energy while not enough to take down all the shields, is MORE then enough to punch right through a section of shields and smash the Scimitars reactor. Then they intiate ramming speed.

No. Think about it: that techno-tactic would come off as a pathetic deus ex machina to anyone who hadn't seen "Best of Both Worlds". Should we be writing movies exclusively for the benefit of people who have seen every single episode of Star Trek?

They could order full power to front sheilds, then as the ships slam into each other, you see the shields flicker for a bit keeping them apart, then fail.

[Uraniun235]

Should we be writing movies exclusively for the benefit of people who have seen every single episode of Star Trek?

Considering that the crap on both the small and big screens is the result of trying to reach more people, I'd say yes, and make some people happy, as opposed to no and just turn everybody off.

Someone in another forum brought up the good point that you'd basically have to reintroduce Sela all over again to make her role and motivation understood. Recapping the whole story would probably be a bit confusing, considering the role of time travel and crap.

The better villain would have been Tomalak. He's tangled with Picard before, and while he probably wouldn't (rather, shouldn't; we all know B&B) be a good villain for Picard (who by now is a bigger action hero than Kirk ever was) to fight hand to hand, he'd be an excellent villain, especially as a Romulan. Plus, it's Andreas Katsulas, and he's fucking awesome.

Simple, best way to improve Nemesis. Never aire it again, burn all the existing copies and mind wipe everyone that's seen it.

That's funny, considering I enjoyed myself.

Of course, I also think Final Frontier is fun, but that's another debate.

[Lord Poe]

Well, after reading Chris' post, I have to ask; so you DON"T want the entire move thrown away? Why? This is pure shit. And I'm speaking as a ST FAN now. True, I think I'm the only one in the free world that liked Voyager, but still...

I'd come up with an entirely different movie. There's SO much potential. A mixture of TNG, Voyager and DS9 crews would have made a MUCH better movie. Think about it:

When the movie opens, Riker and Troi are already married, Riker ALREADY the captain of the Titan. (Like Sulu in TUC) The Enterprise crews has broken up to follow their seperate paths. LaForge in his GCS (Timeless) Janeway an admiral at Starfleet HQ. etc.

Now we have two ships that need a new crew: Voyager and E-E. Maybe Voyager is retired by now, and in the process of being turned into the Queen Mary. So we have some Voyager crew, like the holodoc, (to argue with Crusher) Paris (To replace Riker) and Torres (to replace Geordie) Chakotay is contemplating his navel somewhere....

Romulans start shit with Klingons, because they see that the Klingons have suffered massive casualties in the Dominion War, and are ripe for the picking. This is where Worf comes in..somewhere.

I don't have it all thought out, but there should be some Epic sense to at least ONE of these movies. Some big event where the Romulans want to take over the Alpha and Beta Quads, and toward the end, we have a massive spacebattle, with the E-E, Geordie's ship, and Worf's fleet fight off the Romulans.

I haven't mentioned Uber-Sisko, who returns from the Pah Wraith pit and lays the smacketh down....

Thu End. Noooge!

[EmperorMing]

I have to agree with what Chris posted. The movie could have been *SO* much better with his suggestions. Instead, it was weak.

They should have had some more continuity for a plot device and fleshed out the villain better.

[Patrick Degan]

1. Drop the entire Data/B4 plot thread. For all the amount of screen time and script material which was actually devoted to Data's retarded older brother, the B4 plot thread was a waste of film frames, and it is painfully obvious that B4 was a McGuffin existing for the sole purpose of providing an "out" for Data's death and a very clumsy and obvious one at that. By contrast, you did not necessarily have a similar tipoff with the transfer of Spock's katra to McCoy in TWOK.

2. The entire EvilClone™ plot thread could be retained, but instead of the slave mine backstory, the Remans could have been likened to the Chechens; a seperatist population which has been attempting to split their world away from the Romulan Star Empire for more than a century or so. The tension between the two worlds would have explained the tendency of the Romulans to go isolationist every few decades, whenever they have to put down a particularly severe revolt on the world immediately next to the Imperial seat.

3. To truly underscore the threat of EvilClone™ Skippy's übermicrowave, have him actually using the weapon against Romulus itself, annihilating the entire planetary population (depicted in full grisly detail, naturally). Just as with the destruction of Alderaan in Star Wars, the audience would have had planted in their minds the true dimensions of the threat Skippy intends to bring to Earth and makes the effort of the Enterprise to stop him all the more immediate. It also opens the scripting door to have the Romulan fleet hunting Skippy for revenge and thus presents a more logical motivation for their allying with Picard and provides a more spectacular space battle. Finally, with the Romulan homeworld depopulated, the surviving Romulan command structure has a reason to seek peace with the Federation and assistance to rebuild their society in the wake of the disaster.

4. Instead of the needless and exploitative psychic rape plot device with Deanna Troi, have the Enterprise actually employing passive sensors to pick up traces of the Scimitar's mass and heat output, expressed easily enough as the use of passive "motion sensors" (ala "Balance Of Terror"). BragaTrek™ is so lost in its own technobabble that this rather basic and effective idea evidently never occured even for a second to the writers of this mess of a movie.

5. The Enterprise rams the Scimitar and actually destroys a key componnent of the übermicrowave located at the prow, which puts the weapon out of commission. Picard also leads armed boarding parties to take the ship and destroy the doomsday weapon.

6. With his weapon wrecked, his ship crippled, and his plans effectively destroyed, Skippy puts the übermicrowave's oscillator core on self-destruct, intending to take the Enterprise down with him, so the fight becomes one of personal survival for the crew. We also have Skippy injuring Picard so that he can't escape and will die with him right on the bridge. Here is where we have Data's supreme act of self-sacrifice, in which he arrives and uses the emergency transport device to save his captain as the Enterprise is withdrawing.

7. To symbolise the advent of peace, the crippled Enterprise is brought back to Earth by the Romulan flagship. Commander Donatra contacts the Federation Council and delivers the offer of a genuine déténte from the new Romulan leadership.

8. Lose the stardate narratives. These made the movie too much like a glorified television episode.

9. Finally, cast Peter Woodward instead of Tom Hardy. Woodward far more resembles and sounds like a young Patrick Stewart than Hardy could ever hope to and possesses a much stronger stage presence.

[Coalition]

Crazy idea:

Instead of a simple coup taking out the Senate, the military pulls an outright coup, and begins conquering the various planets of the Romulan empire. The Senate appeals to the Federation and Klingons for help, as their loyal military is shrinking daily.

The Federation dithers a while, but the Klingons decide to send help (the Romulans acted honorably in the war with the Dominion). Since the help is needed quickly, they send it on their warships. Also, since they will be passing near several star systems that have been conquered, the ships will be coming in cloaked.

Enterprise arrives during the Civil War, and heads straight for one of the systems that has been conquered, trying to talk to the other side, in an attempt to make peace talks. However, the rebels hear about the arrival, and their leader arrives as well.

It is Sela.

She greets the Federation crew like old friends, and even though the entire command staff is angry at her, she shrugs off their remarks. She even agrees to meet Picard in his ready room. When Picard asks what is to prevent him from simply capturing her and turning her over to the Romulan Senate, she mentions that there are several other ships nearby.

So she comes on board, and goes to his ready room. Worf gives her a snarl as she walks by, and she just smiles at him.

She starts off by talking to him about the Romulan Civil war, and how the Federation shouldn't be interfering in it. After all, it is Romulan against Romulan, and the Remans have joined her side, not the Reman uprising the Romulans are painting it to be.

"After all, I'm sure the Romulan government would love to say that any Remans are the leaders, to bring in outside aid."

She then talks casually though, about other times Picard and she have tangled, and casually mentions the last time she got to meet Picard ship to ship.

Picard gets a sinking feeling in his stomach.

"I'm sure you remember Picard, the last time there was an internal matter? Something to do with the Klingons I believe?"

She then tells him that since this is a Romulan internal matter, that it should be dealt with by Romulans. She then tells him that her intelligence has told her about a cloaked Klingon fleet coming in to aid the Senate.

"According to your Prime Directive Captain, you must allow a people to solve their own internal troubles. In this case, since the Klingons are obviously trying to interfere in our internal affairs, we insist that you set up a blockade to prevent the Klingon ships from entering Romulan space. Since you did so well last time you wanted to se up a blockade against cloaked ships, I figure you are the best qualified to do it again."

So Picard is left with a choice:
1) Allow the Klingon ships through, and tarnish his reputation, the Federations reputation, and disobey the Prime Directive

or

2) Perform the same actions he did before, while obeying the Prime Directive, and allow Sela to assume the position of Prefect of the Romulan Empire.

<G>

[Patrick Degan]

Unfortunately, that sounds too much like a contemporary television plot, and would quickly get bogged down in its politics. Movies depend upon preferrably one or two grand, sweeping themes to carry the plot, with good and evil clearly defined opposites. When this is not the case, then they are character dramas focussing upon the protagonist and his one great personal dilemma.

The last thing you want is for a movie to get tied up by its own material. Nothing will lose an audience faster. If you doubt that, try sitting through Prince Of The City (1981) sometime. The only movie I ever walked out of in my life.