Ejaculation distance

OT: anything goes!

Moderator: Edi

Post Reply
User avatar
Drewcifer
Jedi Council Member
Posts: 1515
Joined: 2002-11-05 07:13pm
Location: drawn in by groovitation

Post by Drewcifer »

From memory, and a recent experiment, I'm good for roughly 12-18" vertical, and 18-30" horizontal. Not terribly impressive, but it works for me, and it's not that often I'm looking to paint my ceiling with goo :)

As far as female ejaculation: a girlfriend in highschool, with the proper stimulation, would sometimes shoot a little over my shoulder. A little weird, but kind of cool at the same time. It didn't gross me out at all, but then again, I'm a fisheater, as they say. Nothing like getting a girl to shiver and shake and demand penetration. A useful skill as well, when coming off a long dry spell (pun intended), so as to still get a lady off when the first shot might involve a premature discharge of your weapon.
Image Original Warsie ++ Smartass! ~ Picker ~ Grinner ~ Lover ~ Sinner ++ "There's no time for later now"
Top
User avatar
Coyote
Rabid Monkey
Posts: 12464
Joined: 2002-08-23 01:20am
Location: The glorious Sun-Barge! Isis, Isis, Ra,Ra,Ra!
Contact:
Contact Coyote

Post by Coyote »

Drewcifer wrote:I'm a fisheater, as they say.
Carpet Muncher?

Yeah, it' nice when a girl latches onto your shoulders and just drags you up and in. No question about whether she's ready or not...

On a related note, has anyone heard anything about how a guy's diet is supposed to change the way "it" tastes? A lot of girls complain about bitterness/saltiness but I've heard from girls who say that vegetarians "taste" different and one girl insisted that if a guy eats a lot of beef it become bitter but if he eats a lot of acidic fruits (ie, Pineapple) he tastes better.

My take on this is that if I can gt it to taste like candy, then the girlies will come back for more helpings... :D :twisted:
Something about Libertarianism always bothered me. Then one day, I realized what it was:
Libertarian philosophy can be boiled down to the phrase, "Work Will Make You Free."

In Libertarianism, there is no Government, so the Bosses are free to exploit the Workers.
In Communism, there is no Government, so the Workers are free to exploit the Bosses.
So in Libertarianism, man exploits man, but in Communism, its the other way around!
If all you want to do is have some harmless, mindless fun, go H3RE INST3ADZ0RZ!!
Grrr! Fight my Brute, you pansy!
Top
User avatar
XaLEv
Lore Monkey
Posts: 5372
Joined: 2002-07-04 06:35am

Post by XaLEv »

Coyote wrote: On a related note, has anyone heard anything about how a guy's diet is supposed to change the way "it" tastes? A lot of girls complain about bitterness/saltiness but I've heard from girls who say that vegetarians "taste" different and one girl insisted that if a guy eats a lot of beef it become bitter but if he eats a lot of acidic fruits (ie, Pineapple) he tastes better.

My take on this is that if I can gt it to taste like candy, then the girlies will come back for more helpings... :D :twisted:
http://www.semenex.com/
「かかっ―」
Top
User avatar
Vertigo1
Defender of the Night
Posts: 4720
Joined: 2002-08-12 12:47am
Location: Tennessee, USA
Contact:
Contact Vertigo1

Post by Vertigo1 »

I can shoot a good two 1/2 feet normally, but if I'm really stimulated, I can shoot about 3 1/2 ft. Just depends on the mood. :) That being said, I eat lots of oranges so my GF will keep bringing up how 'sweet' I am. :D
"I once asked Rebecca to sing Happy Birthday to me during sex. That was funny, especially since I timed my thrusts to sync up with the words. And yes, it was my birthday." - Darth Wong

Leader of the SD.Net Gargoyle Clan | Spacebattles Firstone | Twitter
Top
Ted
BANNED
Posts: 3522
Joined: 2002-09-04 12:42pm

Post by Ted »

XaLEv wrote:
Coyote wrote: On a related note, has anyone heard anything about how a guy's diet is supposed to change the way "it" tastes? A lot of girls complain about bitterness/saltiness but I've heard from girls who say that vegetarians "taste" different and one girl insisted that if a guy eats a lot of beef it become bitter but if he eats a lot of acidic fruits (ie, Pineapple) he tastes better.

My take on this is that if I can gt it to taste like candy, then the girlies will come back for more helpings... :D :twisted:
http://www.semenex.com/
Where do you come up with these sites? :shock:
Go, tell the Spartans, stranger passing by,
That here, obedient to their laws, we lie.
Top
User avatar
Vertigo1
Defender of the Night
Posts: 4720
Joined: 2002-08-12 12:47am
Location: Tennessee, USA
Contact:
Contact Vertigo1

Post by Vertigo1 »

Ted wrote:Where do you come up with these sites? :shock:
You really don't wanna know.... Trust me. :mrgreen:

$5 says it was a google search tho. ;)
"I once asked Rebecca to sing Happy Birthday to me during sex. That was funny, especially since I timed my thrusts to sync up with the words. And yes, it was my birthday." - Darth Wong

Leader of the SD.Net Gargoyle Clan | Spacebattles Firstone | Twitter
Top
User avatar
aerius
Charismatic Cult Leader
Posts: 14804
Joined: 2002-08-18 07:27pm

Post by aerius »

Ted wrote:Where do you come up with these sites? :shock:
You really gotta get out more. I have a bunch of perverted sites bookmarked on my browser for reference purposes. You never know when knowing the average breast size of a North American caucasian female might come in handy. :D
Image
aerius: I'll vote for you if you sleep with me. :)
Lusankya: Deal!
Say, do you want it to be a threesome with your wife? Or a foursome with your wife and sister-in-law? I'm up for either. :P
Top
User avatar
THEHOOLIGANJEDI
Jedi Council Member
Posts: 1971
Joined: 2002-07-11 03:44pm
Location: Highland Park, New Jersey
Contact:
Contact THEHOOLIGANJEDI

Post by THEHOOLIGANJEDI »

THEHOOLIGANJEDI wrote:
aerius wrote:
THEHOOLIGANJEDI wrote:But I think bowel movements (i.e. Golden Showers and, schiesse movies) take the cake as most disturbing ever.
Thankfully you haven't been exposed to underground bondage mutilation snuff porn. All the above plus the events RayCav's infamous snuff-fic put into video form, that is disturbing. :shock:
I know. But i was just refering to pure "sex" acts (and I use the term loosely). Violence and all that shit Ugh!!! that goes far beyond most disturbing. :x Image
I almost forgot beastiality, simply disturbing. My friends tell me stories about some vids they see and it's funny to hear, but it is very disturbing to even think about it. I'm glad that I haven't see a single vid.
Image
Stupid risks are what make life worth living.-Homer Simpson

-PC Load Letter?! What the Fuck does that mean!?!?!- Micheal Bolton
-Bullshit! I'll bet you can suck a golf ball through a garden hose! - Sgt. Hartman
-I'll bet your the kind of guy who would fuck a person in the ass and not even have the Goddamn common courtesy to give him a reacharound!- Sgt. Hartman
Top
User avatar
Darth Wong
Sith Lord
Sith Lord
Posts: 70028
Joined: 2002-07-03 12:25am
Location: Toronto, Canada
Contact:
Contact Darth Wong

Post by Darth Wong »

OK, who's going to be the first to order this stuff and report the results to the group?
Image
"It's not evil for God to do it. Or for someone to do it at God's command."- Jonathan Boyd on baby-killing

"you guys are fascinated with the use of those "rules of logic" to the extent that you don't really want to discussus anything."- GC

"I do not believe Russian Roulette is a stupid act" - Embracer of Darkness

"Viagra commercials appear to save lives" - tharkûn on US health care.

http://www.stardestroyer.net/Mike/RantMode/Blurbs.html
Top
User avatar
Oberleutnant
Jedi Council Member
Posts: 1585
Joined: 2002-07-06 04:44pm
Location: Finland

Post by Oberleutnant »

Hehheh ...

"Semenex is formulated from a patent-pending, highly concentrated, proprietary blend of 3 fruits, 2 vegetables, 3 spices, and multiple vitamins and minerals (the same nutrients lost during ejaculation)."

I don't have a girlfriend at the moment so I can't test it... unless I try it myself!

However, if the Finnish customs would happen to pick and search my package of Semenex (they do this randomly to packages coming outside from EU), I wouldn't be too happy about going there, pay 40€ extra while they would be laughing their asses off. :oops:

"Hey, what is that stuff?"

"Uhh, my special health drink!"


BTW, has anyone here tasted their own "juice"?
"Thousands of years ago cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this."
Top
User avatar
Einhander Sn0m4n
Insane Railgunner
Posts: 18630
Joined: 2002-10-01 05:51am
Location: Louisiana... or Dagobah. You know, where Yoda lives.

Post by Einhander Sn0m4n »

Darth Wong wrote:
OK, who's going to be the first to order this stuff and report the results to the group?
Dunno.. but I'm willing to give it to my bf if he ever gets over his phobia about letting me suck him off. He think's he'll kill me from all that sheer firehose firepower (he cums a fucking huge amount)! :shock: :P :mrgreen: Either that or he'll pull me off and flip me over and see how many times 46 goes into 21! :twisted: I think I have myself a project to do after we come back home from Christmas...
Image Image
Top
User avatar
Einhander Sn0m4n
Insane Railgunner
Posts: 18630
Joined: 2002-10-01 05:51am
Location: Louisiana... or Dagobah. You know, where Yoda lives.

Post by Einhander Sn0m4n »

Oberleutnant wrote:<SNIP>
BTW, has anyone here tasted their own "juice"?
Ya, mine tastes good. I found out the hard way yesterday that Beer makes it BITTER!!! (it wan't my cum, it was my roommate's) Tasted a lot better today tho... :)
Image Image
Top
User avatar
Einhander Sn0m4n
Insane Railgunner
Posts: 18630
Joined: 2002-10-01 05:51am
Location: Louisiana... or Dagobah. You know, where Yoda lives.

Post by Einhander Sn0m4n »

FYI: BF != Roommate. We just all live together.
Image Image
Top
User avatar
XaLEv
Lore Monkey
Posts: 5372
Joined: 2002-07-04 06:35am

Post by XaLEv »

Ted wrote: Where do you come up with these sites? :shock:
I think I found that one at Memepool.
「かかっ―」
Top
User avatar
Arthur_Tuxedo
Sith Acolyte
Posts: 5637
Joined: 2002-07-23 03:28am
Location: San Francisco, California

Post by Arthur_Tuxedo »

You're really trying to set Shep off, aren't you Einhander? :twisted:
"I'm so fast that last night I turned off the light switch in my hotel room and was in bed before the room was dark." - Muhammad Ali

"Dating is not supposed to be easy. It's supposed to be a heart-pounding, stomach-wrenching, gut-churning exercise in pitting your fear of rejection and public humiliation against your desire to find a mate. Enjoy." - Darth Wong
Top
User avatar
Einhander Sn0m4n
Insane Railgunner
Posts: 18630
Joined: 2002-10-01 05:51am
Location: Louisiana... or Dagobah. You know, where Yoda lives.

Post by Einhander Sn0m4n »

Arthur_Tuxedo wrote:You're really trying to set Shep off, aren't you Einhander? :twisted:
What the hell does Shep wanna do with my sex life anyway? He's probly jealous! :) :twisted: :lol:
Image Image
Top
Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi
What Kind of Username is That?
Posts: 9254
Joined: 2002-07-10 08:53pm
Location: Back in PA

Post by Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi »

Einhander Sn0m4n wrote:
Arthur_Tuxedo wrote:You're really trying to set Shep off, aren't you Einhander? :twisted:
What the hell does Shep wanna do with my sex life anyway? He's probly jealous! :) :twisted: :lol:
Yeah, his sister must not be giving him any.
BotM: Just another monkey|HAB
Top
User avatar
Einhander Sn0m4n
Insane Railgunner
Posts: 18630
Joined: 2002-10-01 05:51am
Location: Louisiana... or Dagobah. You know, where Yoda lives.

Post by Einhander Sn0m4n »

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi wrote:
Einhander Sn0m4n wrote:
Arthur_Tuxedo wrote:You're really trying to set Shep off, aren't you Einhander? :twisted:
What the hell does Shep wanna do with my sex life anyway? He's probly jealous! :) :twisted: :lol:
Yeah, his sister must not be giving him any.
ROTFLMMFGDQQAAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Image Image Image Image Image Image
Image Image
Top
User avatar
MKSheppard
Ruthless Genocidal Warmonger
Ruthless Genocidal Warmonger
Posts: 29842
Joined: 2002-07-06 06:34pm

Post by MKSheppard »

Einhander Sn0m4n wrote:
ROTFLMMFGDQQAAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Image Image Image Image Image Image[/quote]

"Hey, those evil people are talking about you again!"

"Yeah, You again, the sister that only I know about...."

"Whats that, Sis? You want me to go on a bloody murder spree
since i'm the only one who sees you?"
"If scientists and inventors who develop disease cures and useful technologies don't get lifetime royalties, I'd like to know what fucking rationale you have for some guy getting lifetime royalties for writing an episode of Full House." - Mike Wong

"The present air situation in the Pacific is entirely the result of fighting a fifth rate air power." - U.S. Navy Memo - 24 July 1944
Top
HemlockGrey
Fucking Awesome
Posts: 13834
Joined: 2002-07-04 03:21pm

Post by HemlockGrey »

Well...that was...um...interesting...

...I'm going to rip my eyes from their sockets now...
The End of Suburbia
"If more cars are inevitable, must there not be roads for them to run on?"
-Robert Moses

"The Wire" is the best show in the history of television. Watch it today.
Top
User avatar
Einhander Sn0m4n
Insane Railgunner
Posts: 18630
Joined: 2002-10-01 05:51am
Location: Louisiana... or Dagobah. You know, where Yoda lives.

Post by Einhander Sn0m4n »

HemlockGrey wrote:Well...that was...um...interesting...

...I'm going to rip my eyes from their sockets now...
Mind if I join the club?
Image Image
Top
User avatar
The Yosemite Bear
Mostly Harmless Nutcase (Requiescat in Pace)
Posts: 35211
Joined: 2002-07-21 02:38am
Location: Dave's Not Here Man

Post by The Yosemite Bear »

Shep. doesn't have a sister, he has a younger brother whose a big Something Awful fan, but no female sibs.

thus the he's the only one that can see her remark....
Image

The scariest folk song lyrics are "My Boy Grew up to be just like me" from cats in the cradle by Harry Chapin
Top
User avatar
Einhander Sn0m4n
Insane Railgunner
Posts: 18630
Joined: 2002-10-01 05:51am
Location: Louisiana... or Dagobah. You know, where Yoda lives.

Post by Einhander Sn0m4n »

The Yosemite Bear wrote:Shep. doesn't have a sister, he has a younger brother whose a big Something Awful fan, but no female sibs.

thus the he's the only one that can see her remark....
Is his little brother nicknamed "Lowtax"? ;)
Image Image
Top
User avatar
The Yosemite Bear
Mostly Harmless Nutcase (Requiescat in Pace)
Posts: 35211
Joined: 2002-07-21 02:38am
Location: Dave's Not Here Man

Post by The Yosemite Bear »

I'm not sure what Sheppard's 17 year old brother's nickname is.

Although some of the shit he has done to piss off sheppard has been pretty funny.

(Melting a Wargame CD, with toothpaste I think was the topper)
Image

The scariest folk song lyrics are "My Boy Grew up to be just like me" from cats in the cradle by Harry Chapin
Top
Ted
BANNED
Posts: 3522
Joined: 2002-09-04 12:42pm

Post by Ted »

Yeah, it was toothpaste.

Shep was real mad at that.
Go, tell the Spartans, stranger passing by,
That here, obedient to their laws, we lie.
Top
Post Reply

Return to “Off-Topic”