Things that the opposite sex can't do.

Post by **Coyote** » 2002-12-20 12:00am

Here's something odd I've noticed-- when at the cashier line in supermarkets, men get their checkbooks ready and write in everything but the amount, then quickly pen it in and are off and away.

Women tend to stand there, conversing or doing whatever, then suddenly realize they have to pay and fumble for their checkbooks at the last minute. I notice this everywhere, even in other countries. What's up with that?

Other things men can do that women can't: We can go to the bathroom without a support group.

Things women can do: Women get to have emotions. If a man gets his head caught in an industrial wood-chipper, we're not allowed to cry.

Ted · Post by **Ted** » 2002-12-20 10:17am

Women nag people.

aerius · Post by **aerius** » 2002-12-20 11:40am

Also related to shopping. Men can walk into a shopping mall, buy what we want, and walk out without stopping to browse at 20 different stores.

coyote wrote:Things women can do: Women get to have emotions. If a man gets his head caught in an industrial wood- chipper, we're not allowed to cry.

True, but men can cuss loudly and profusely when we get hurt. If I hit myself with a hammer I can scream a string of profanities at the top of my lungs, women can't to do this as far as I know.

salm · Post by **salm** » 2002-12-20 11:50am

aerius wrote:Also related to shopping. Men can walk into a shopping mall, buy what we want, and walk out without stopping to browse at 20 different stores.

on the other hand men cant go to town and find christmas presents. men usually walk down the shopping mile without turning their head left or right and without going into a shop. then we complain that we cant find presents.
damn i still dont have any christmas presents and i have no clue what to buy.

InnerBrat · Post by **InnerBrat** » 2002-12-20 03:50pm

Einhander Sn0m4n wrote:
innerbrat wrote:Is it too obvious to say Multiple Orgasms!?
No it's not. I've done that a few times.

Ahhh, but that's just coming again. There's a difference, y'know.

aerius wrote: True, but men can cuss loudly and profusely when we get hurt. If I hit myself with a hammer I can scream a string of profanities at the top of my lungs, women can't to do this as far as I know.

I can, and do. And I get very strange looks when I do.
You should have seen the look on my friend's face when I first said he was a cunt.

ben · Post by **ben** » 2002-12-20 04:27pm

jmac wrote:
Women can resist the urge to zap ourselves with a charged capacitor.
Silly BF, what was he thinking? At least he didn't lick it. icon_rolleyes.gif

exactly what a couple of guys did in my dc electronics class.

aerius · Post by **aerius** » 2002-12-20 04:37pm

ben wrote:
jmac wrote: Women can resist the urge to zap ourselves with a charged capacitor.
Silly BF, what was he thinking? At least he didn't lick it.
exactly what a couple of guys did in my dc electronics class.

Good thing it was a relatively small capacitor that I zapped myself with, it actually tingled more than anything else. I was trying to zap my GF with it but she wouldn't let me until I did it to myself first. The fun part is when you start using the beer can sized capacitors, zap yourself with those and it could be lights out for you!

Shadowhawk · Post by **Shadowhawk** » 2002-12-20 05:35pm

I disassembled my camera one day (to fix the shutter, since I had managed to bend part of it while I was messing around). It had a capacitor the size of an AA battery to store the charge for the flash. I was generally careful to avoid it.

Twice, I got a light buzz by touching close to it.
Then I touched it directly. I felt the jolt go through both arms and my chest.
It flash-fried a cubic millimeter of skin on my left middle fingertip, too.

I'm absolutely paranoid around capacitors now.

XaLEv · Post by **XaLEv** » 2002-12-20 06:30pm

innerbrat wrote: You should have seen the look on my friend's face when I first said he was a cunt.

Damn, that is hot.

Post by **Coyote** » 2002-12-21 12:15am

Welcome, Ben!

POKE!

You sure chose an interesting thread to make your presecece known. Now I hope for your sake that your last name is not "Dover".

Einhander Sn0m4n · Post by **Einhander Sn0m4n** » 2002-12-21 12:16am

XaLEv wrote:
innerbrat wrote: You should have seen the look on my friend's face when I first said he was a cunt.
Damn, that is hot.

Ummmmmmm ooohhhhhh kaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy......

InnerBrat · Post by **InnerBrat** » 2002-12-21 11:59am

Einhander Sn0m4n wrote:
XaLEv wrote:
innerbrat wrote: You should have seen the look on my friend's face when I first said he was a cunt.
Damn, that is hot.
Ummmmmmm ooohhhhhh kaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy......

Should I be flattered or scared?

Lord Pounder · Post by **Lord Pounder** » 2002-12-21 02:27pm

body building

Men and do it and look sexy and buff

Women who body build lose their tits and end up with a face liek Chyna from the WWE.

Ted · Post by **Ted** » 2002-12-21 03:05pm

I wouldn't say that the men who do it look sexy and buff, I'd say more like inflated goons, dumbasses, stupid fucks who are shit weak. They've got no stamina at all.

Enlightenment · Post by **Enlightenment** » 2002-12-21 09:44pm

Ted wrote:I wouldn't say that the men who do it look sexy and buff, I'd say more like inflated goons, dumbasses, stupid fucks who are shit weak. They've got no stamina at all.

And if the EliteWitless morons are anything to go by, no brains either.

XaLEv · Post by **XaLEv** » 2002-12-22 12:45am

innerbrat wrote: Should I be flattered or scared?

Mebbe a little bit of both.

InnerBrat · Post by **InnerBrat** » 2002-12-23 11:06am

OK, new one...

Men cannot use complimentary adjectives!

If they slightly fancy a woman, she's 'alright'.
If they really want to fuck her senseless so much they're having difficulty standing, she's 'nice'.

Post by **Ghost Rider** » 2002-12-23 11:18am

True...but that because we don't need 2000 different pairs of shoes

Antediluvian · Post by **Antediluvian** » 2002-12-23 11:35am

Darth Pounder wrote:body building

Men and do it and look sexy and buff

Women who body build lose their tits and end up with a face liek Chyna from the WWE.

HEY!

I happen to have known a number of hot female bodybuilders who still have their breasts and beautiful faces.

And by the way, Joanie Laurer is hot.

As for things men and women can do that the other can't do:

Women: have an erection

Men: get pregnant.

Antediluvian · Post by **Antediluvian** » 2002-12-23 11:36am

innerbrat wrote:OK, new one...

Men cannot use complimentary adjectives!

If they slightly fancy a woman, she's 'alright'.
If they really want to fuck her senseless so much they're having difficulty standing, she's 'nice'.

I think you're a very sweet and gentle person.

How was that?

Antediluvian · Post by **Antediluvian** » 2002-12-23 11:39am

innerbrat wrote:
Einhander Sn0m4n wrote:
innerbrat wrote:Is it too obvious to say Multiple Orgasms!?
No it's not. I've done that a few times.
Ahhh, but that's just coming again. There's a difference, y'know.

aerius wrote: True, but men can cuss loudly and profusely when we get hurt. If I hit myself with a hammer I can scream a string of profanities at the top of my lungs, women can't to do this as far as I know.
I can, and do. And I get very strange looks when I do.
You should have seen the look on my friend's face when I first said he was a cunt.

I remember my last GF smacking her head into a doorway once.

She cussed so much some tough guys nearby actually blushed!

aerius · Post by **aerius** » 2002-12-23 11:44am

Antediluvian wrote: As for things men and women can do that the other can't do:

Men: get pregnant.

Apparently you haven't seen the horrid Arnold Schwarzenegger movie known as Junior.

Antediluvian · Post by **Antediluvian** » 2002-12-23 12:24pm

aerius wrote:
Antediluvian wrote: As for things men and women can do that the other can't do:

Men: get pregnant.
Apparently you haven't seen the horrid Arnold Schwarzenegger movie known as Junior.

ARGGHH!!! Don't remind me of that awful movie!

I only saw the previews and that was bad enough!

(Antediluvian has a seizure.)

Ted · Post by **Ted** » 2002-12-23 12:35pm

aerius wrote:
Antediluvian wrote: As for things men and women can do that the other can't do:

Men: get pregnant.
Apparently you haven't seen the horrid Arnold Schwarzenegger movie known as Junior.

God damn, I was FORCED to watch that movie last night.

InnerBrat · Post by **InnerBrat** » 2002-12-23 03:10pm

Antediluvian wrote:
innerbrat wrote:OK, new one...

Men cannot use complimentary adjectives!

If they slightly fancy a woman, she's 'alright'.
If they really want to fuck her senseless so much they're having difficulty standing, she's 'nice'.
I think you're a very sweet and gentle person.

How was that?

You don't think that at all, you don't know me.

OK, men can't use complimentary adjectives when not trying to get inside someone elses knickers...

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