Decision

Non Catenatum · Post by **Non Catenatum** » 2002-12-20 03:16pm

I'm in a predicament that is vaguely similiar to Exonerates.

I've just found out that my 13 year old friend "cuts" herself. I know I have a moral and legal obligation to tell her parents, but how do you go about doing this?

Enforcer Talen · Post by **Enforcer Talen** » 2002-12-20 03:20pm

tell her parents?

. . . I've had a few friends like that, and never even considered it. I just give em huggles and help them to talk.

InnerBrat · Post by **InnerBrat** » 2002-12-20 03:32pm

You don't have a legal obligation to do anything - there's nothing illegal going on.

Find out why your friend's depressed and help her through it. (If she's not depressed, she's an idiot, and you can tell her so). I have a friend who used to do this kind of thing, but she's stopped simply because we were there for her - she still has problems 'cause she's alive, but she deals with them in different ways now. (I have another acquaintance who just did it for the attention, but his problems were of his own making)

Basically, just be a friend and be there for her.

Non Catenatum · Post by **Non Catenatum** » 2002-12-20 03:46pm

Actually if you know your friend is putting him/herself in danger, you do legally need to tell their parent or guardian.

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2002-12-20 03:54pm

Legality is irrelevant. You have a moral obligation to take steps to ensure that she will get the help she needs. Cutting might be a phase she grows out of, or it might be the start of something worse. You can't take that chance.

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2002-12-20 03:54pm

By the way, your misspelled username is driving my crazy. Do you want me to change it?

Lord Pounder · Post by **Lord Pounder** » 2002-12-20 03:56pm

As some one who used to cut himself, if you tell this persons parents your friend will be well annoyed. You need to talk over with your friend why he or she does it. I cut myself coz i was repressing my anger and then taking it all out on myself. Now i have scars all over my arms and i have a perminat reminder what a dick i was being. I finally stopped cutting myself when a mate of mine saw my scars and sat me down and asked me what the hell was the problem. I was reluctant to talk to him but he eventually dragged it outta men and he helped me deal with the causes of my anger.

Non Catenatum · Post by **Non Catenatum** » 2002-12-20 04:55pm

By the way, your misspelled username is driving my crazy. Do you want me to change it?

Yes please.

As some one who used to cut himself, if you tell this persons parents your friend will be well annoyed. You need to talk over with your friend why he or she does it. I cut myself coz i was repressing my anger and then taking it all out on myself. Now i have scars all over my arms and i have a perminat reminder what a dick i was being. I finally stopped cutting myself when a mate of mine saw my scars and sat me down and asked me what the hell was the problem. I was reluctant to talk to him but he eventually dragged it outta men and he helped me deal with the causes of my anger.

Naturally my friend will be annoyed, but the parents would find out sooner or latyer. May as well be before they have to find out at a hospital bed.

Post by **weemadando** » 2002-12-20 05:35pm

Darth Wong wrote:By the way, your misspelled username is driving my crazy. Do you want me to change it?

Don't do it!

a) its a testament to their stupidity.

b) the moment you do change it they'll scream and rant about you altering things and being a repressive force of darkness.

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2002-12-20 05:59pm

Heh heh ... too late.

Non Catenatum · Post by **Non Catenatum** » 2002-12-20 06:25pm

don't worry, I still have the title

a) its a testament to their stupidity.

Exonerate · Post by **Exonerate** » 2002-12-20 07:05pm

Hmf. I personally know 2 girls that do this... Its kinda scary. One of them is trying to stop, but can't, so she hates herself for it. On her blog, you can tell she's really depressed, but when you talk to her, she pretends everythings is alright...

beyond hope · Post by **beyond hope** » 2002-12-21 12:48am

I have scars all over my arms, legs, and chest from this in addition to acid burns on my hand. Most likely, something is seriously bothering your friend: I used to do this because physical pain is a distraction from emotional pain. I would recommend talking to her before you do anything else and try to find out what's going on to make her do this: if the parents are the problem, telling them what's going on with her is only going to aggravate things. Having said that, I agree with everyone who's said "tell someone who can get her help." It's going to take professional intervention to put a stop to this and help her work out whatever is eating at her to make her hurt herself like that. Just don't expect any gratitude from her... she may one day understand that you were acting in her own best interests, but not for a while.

kojikun · Post by **kojikun** » 2002-12-21 01:13am

I cut myself. I carve designs, tho, not random shit. Ever so gently, sometimes not even hard enough to cut the skin. I always use brandnew disinfected razors and straight out of the package gauss to soak up excess blood during the cutting. Immediately afterwards I clean the wound and dress it so as to prevent infection after the procedure. The dressing is changed every day, often twice a day, while the wound heals. Scabs are picked before redressing as to promote scarring of the design. Within a week of the cutting the wound has nearly fully scarred over. By this point bandages have become useless.

Best part is, it doesnt hurt (i've a high tolerance for pain). And the antibacterial used to dress the wound is, amazingly, honey. It's common to use honey as an antibacterial (and healing aid) during proffesional medical procedures. Just dont let the honey get certain kinds of bacteria in them, otherwise itll literally ferment and that stings like hell to apply to an open flesh wound.

However, if your friend is cutting herself because she wants to feel the pain, offer her a few kicks to the head free of charge. Or atleast get her a Grays Anatomy so she knows not to cut in certain places that could lead to excessive bleeding and death (my design was on my inside forearm, so where the cuts were closer to large vessels it bled more and for longer amounts of time. cutting deeply there would have resulted in quite an amount of bloodloss)

*edit*

btw, just to emphasise the lack of pain in the cutting, i didnt even flinch. but I've shed tears from popping pimples on my face. elsewhere I'm good but my face is really fucking sensitive. piercing nipples three times in a row? no problem. getting rid of a pimple the size of a pin head thats right under my eye? jesus christ get me morphine.