Why do a lot of people think the federation can win?

[Ghost Rider]

Didn't someone write an extreme trek-wank Fanfic, where the Enterprise crew met in the "meeting room" to discuss why anyone would build a ship as big as an ISD and arm it with pitiful, pitiful lasers? I seem to remember reading it here.

It was probably Grahm Kennedy's "Portal".

Isin't that the one where Troi defeats Palpatine?

Yep, because y'know the Force doesn't affect ST beings .

Really the worst thing about Portal isn't the Trek wank, it's the abyssmal writing that he tries to pass off as mediocre. I mean reading that thing was just reading bad dialogue, characterizations, and plot, with ST and SW names thrown in.

[Darth Wong]

A lot of people have tried to explain "Portal" by theorizing about Graham Kennedy's state of mind, personal neuroses, etc. But I think the simpler explanation is that he's simply stupid. "Portal" was obviously written with an agenda in mind, but that didn't mean it had to suck as badly as it did. Graham Kennedy just can't write.

[NecronLord]

Isin't that the one where Troi defeats Palpatine?

To be fair, it was written before RotS, making it only utterly absurd, as opposed to ludicrously absurd.

[Vympel]

I don't get it- are you saying that RotS made it *more* likely that she could defeat Palpatine, rather than less?

[Stofsk]

He's saying that there's less chance post-ROTS. Real ultimate power and all that.

[RedImperator]

Portal could have been an interesting story about the Federation dealing with a technically inferior opponent with overwhelming numbers. But Kennedy was much more interested in making a point than writing a good story and broadcast that fact from page one, so what you had was an entire story where the outcome wasn't ever in doubt. And it didn't help that the nominal protagonists acted like assholes, like offering the Rebels antimatter technology to get their help and then yanking it away afterwards because they "weren't ready" or some other early season TNG bullshit.

All that said, tales of Portal's suckiness are greatly exaggerated. There are far, far worse fanfics out there.

[CaptainChewbacca]

Is his posting name "Graham Kennedy"? I'm gonna look that fic up.

[atg]

You'll find it here, then at the bottom click recreation, on the left frame scroll down and you'll find 'portal'.

I can't believe how crappy the design of that site is.

[EnterpriseSovereign]

Still, the battle pics are good, IMO

[Xess]

You'll find it here, then at the bottom click recreation, on the left frame scroll down and you'll find 'portal'.

I can't believe how crappy the design of that site is.

You can also read Tribun's disection of it here.

I haven't been able to make it far, it hurts to much.

[Bounty]

I can't believe how crappy the design of that site is.

It's LCARS, baby! It's the future!

...except it doesn't work all that well. In fact, EAS has an award for just this sort of thing:

I haven't been able to make it far, it hurts to much.

I have read the whole thing. It's stylistically anemic, the story goes nowhere, the whole setup is so one-sided that he literally needs *thousands* of Imperial ships to pose a threat making the very premise of the story laughable and it lacks any sort of depth - nothing on the characters, or the setting; it's just an endless series of "this happens - that happens" sentences.

And then you get to the middle and find the Troi rape/torture fetish scene.

[EnterpriseSovereign]

Funny thing is, had I not engaged in vs debates, I might have actually believed this. Hell, the vs video on youtube would have been more plausible, where the ISD knocks out the Ent-D's shields in one blast and Data says 'the warship is capable of striking us with far more powerful bursts'.

[EnterpriseSovereign]

I read the dissection, and it says that 3 ISDs collided with the SSD and were destroyed at some point. When was this?

[Stofsk]

I read the dissection, and it says that 3 ISDs collided with the SSD and were destroyed at some point. When was this?

In the Classic Star Wars comic strips by Archie Goodwin and the legendary Al Williamson. They were reprinted into a comic series by Dark Horse, and further reprinted into TBPs. I have all three lining my shelf.

They're fun, really nice to look at too.

The scene in question occured during the Rebel evacuation of Yavin. They were using a sun as cover for their escape, relying on Luke's preternatural abilities to jump at key moments (when solar flares were in abeyance). The Executor had turned up at the opposite side of the escape corridor just in time (it had been disrupted by a lucky shot previously, which had disbled the engines, thanks to Dodonna Jr's sacrifice and using the last of the power gem's juice). It was about to open fire when three ISD's collided with it.

Unbeknownst to Vader, Admiral Griff - who was the Imperial in charge of the blockade of Yavin - felt offended that the Sith Lord wished to steal his thunder, so to speak, and that the Rebels had found a hole in his blockade to exploit (and also one which Admiral Ackbar had helped create - back in a time when Fishface was a fucking Fleet Commander and not a fighter designer), that he then recklessly jumped to the system in the hopes of both beating Vader to it and stopping the Rebels. He achieved neither, and was destroyed along with his flottila rather ignominously.

[Surlethe]

I read the dissection, and it says that 3 ISDs collided with the SSD and were destroyed at some point. When was this?

If you're interested, Dr Saxton has a copy of the panel on his Executor page here.

[EnterpriseSovereign]

I read the dissection, and it says that 3 ISDs collided with the SSD and were destroyed at some point. When was this?

If you're interested, Dr Saxton has a copy of the panel on his Executor page here.

Ouch, I wouldn't want to be on one of those ships. Just out of interest, would the ISD's shields be up as it emerges from hyperspace?

[Surlethe]

Ouch, I wouldn't want to be on one of those ships. Just out of interest, would the ISD's shields be up as it emerges from hyperspace?

I don't know if the EU addresses it, but since Admiral Griff was jumping into a potential military engagement, I'd think so. Remember the jump to Endor? The rebels emerged from hyperspace in time to decelerate to a stop in a perimeter around the Death Star. Admiral Griff's ships didn't have time to stop, but they'd probably been out of hyperspace for several seconds -- plenty of time to raise shields.

[Adrian Laguna]

He's saying that there's less chance post-ROTS. Real ultimate power and all that.

Yes, but I would say he's got the... adverbs? WTF? Wouldn't an adverb modify a- Oh, I see, they do both. Anyway, I think he got the adverbs backward.

In my opinion "utterly absurd" implies a higher level of absurdity than "ludicrously absurd". Vympel apparently thinks the same, hence his confusion.

Let us examine the word each adverb is derived from with the help of Merriam-Webster Dictionary.

ludicrous: "meriting derisive laughter or scorn as absurdly inept, false, or foolish"
utter: "carried to the utmost point or highest degree: absolute, total."

We discover two things. One, calling something "ludicrously absurd" shows some redundancy in that the "ludicrous" already has "absurd" in the definition. On the other hand, Necron Lord was probably trying to enphasize the point through repeticion. Second, "utterly absurd" means "absolute absurdity", and "ludicrously absurd" means "so absurdly absurd that it merits scorn". Clearly, a level of absurdity that is total or absolute is higher than one that is merely enough to merit scorn.

The evidence is clear. While from context one can infer what NecronLord meant to say, what he really did say is, to quote Vympel, "RotS made it *more* likely that she could defeat Palpatine."

[OmegaGuy]

I never understood how anyone could buy into the "no laser" argument. Graham Kennedy never did concede it, even going so far as to say that the Death Star superlaser would be useless against a shuttlecraft. It must require some sort of deranged fanaticism.

Well Mike, anything a Trek character says is absolute truth at face value. Like when Q said the Borg are sexless; neither male nor female.

Ooopss......

According to someone at spacebattles, he meant that they had no personal gender identity when they were in the collective, and did not think of themselves or treat each other as male or female.

[Lord Poe]

According to someone at spacebattles, he meant that they had no personal gender identity when they were in the collective, and did not think of themselves or treat each other as male or female.

And when did Paramount canonize "someone at spacebattles"?

[Tribun]

You'll find it here, then at the bottom click recreation, on the left frame scroll down and you'll find 'portal'.

I can't believe how crappy the design of that site is.

You can also read Tribun's disection of it here.

I haven't been able to make it far, it hurts to much.

I must admit, I had been tempted to stop after the first chapter.
But as the masochist I am, I couldn't resist to take the rest apart too. And I still think, this is the worst Trek propaganda mixed with very weak writing. No 100 horses would bring me to do this again.

[NecronLord]

Yes, but I would say he's got the... adverbs? WTF? Wouldn't an adverb modify a- Oh, I see, they do both. Anyway, I think he got the adverbs backward.

In my opinion "utterly absurd" implies a higher level of absurdity than "ludicrously absurd". Vympel apparently thinks the same, hence his confusion.

Let us examine the word each adverb is derived from with the help of Merriam-Webster Dictionary.

ludicrous: "meriting derisive laughter or scorn as absurdly inept, false, or foolish"
utter: "carried to the utmost point or highest degree: absolute, total."

We discover two things. One, calling something "ludicrously absurd" shows some redundancy in that the "ludicrous" already has "absurd" in the definition. On the other hand, Necron Lord was probably trying to enphasize the point through repeticion. Second, "utterly absurd" means "absolute absurdity", and "ludicrously absurd" means "so absurdly absurd that it merits scorn". Clearly, a level of absurdity that is total or absolute is higher than one that is merely enough to merit scorn.

The evidence is clear. While from context one can infer what NecronLord meant to say, what he really did say is, to quote Vympel, "RotS made it *more* likely that she could defeat Palpatine."

Wow. That's really... Quite some digression for a one line comment. The intent is indeed as you say.

Perhaps, instead I should have said:

"As Kennedy had not seen Revenge of the Sith, this merely indicates complete stupidity on the part of the writer, if the writer had seen Revenge of the Sith beforehand, it would be so stupid as to induce gales of incapacitating hilarity, and thus be laughable as well as utterly stupid."

The thinking was that the former was merely contemptibly stupid, the latter instance would be laughably stupid. Utter should best be read as 'completely.' Apologies for any confusion!

[Stofsk]

Apologies for any confusion!

Damn straight. I was "WTFed?" with Adrian's little tangent (since he was technically replying to you through me ).

[PayBack]

According to someone at spacebattles, he meant that they had no personal gender identity when they were in the collective, and did not think of themselves or treat each other as male or female.

And when did Paramount canonize "someone at spacebattles"?

More importantly, 7 of 9 ask Harry if he wanted to have sex, and IIRC the borg did it all the time for fun. I bet them not having a gender made for some kinky times.

[Batman]

You have quote for that of course.