If you were to run for leader of your country...

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi · Post by **Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi** » 2002-12-21 06:08pm

If you were running for the president/prime minister/dictator of your country, how would you get people to vote for you? Also, as leader, what would you do?

Alyeska · Post by **Alyeska** » 2002-12-21 06:12pm

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi wrote:If you were running for the president/prime minister/dictator of your country, how would you get people to vote for you? Also, as leader, what would you do?

I would campaign with the slogan "Common Sense". Time to get politicians out of the White House and get someone closer to the people in there.

Once I got into the White House I would probably end up vetoing MOST bills because of all the hidden crap inside of them. I would tell congress they need to pass a line item veto bill or I will veto most of their political shit bills.

HemlockGrey · Post by **HemlockGrey** » 2002-12-21 06:20pm

Bribes, ads, and ruthless assassinations.

No, really.

Assuming I have bundles of money, I'd run ad campaigns informing Americans about the civil rights infringements and then run my campaign based around restoring civil liberties, reorganizing and efficientizing some major laws(gun control laws, taxes, etc) and keeping the world happy with us.

Alyeska · Post by **Alyeska** » 2002-12-21 06:22pm

HemlockGrey wrote:Bribes, ads, and ruthless assassinations.

No, really.

Assuming I have bundles of money, I'd run ad campaigns informing Americans about the civil rights infringements and then run my campaign based around restoring civil liberties, reorganizing and efficientizing some major laws(gun control laws, taxes, etc) and keeping the world happy with us.

That works. Its partially in with the Common Sense stuff to. You inform the people that they are giving up their rights for "security" when they don't need to.

C.S.Strowbridge · Post by **C.S.Strowbridge** » 2002-12-21 06:47pm

First thing, Campaign Finance Reform. Without that the PACs and the Lobbiests will control the country so it wouldn't matter what other issues your interested in.

Secondly, massive changes in education. Critical Thinking skills would be taught from the very beginning. Science as a method, not a collection of facts. Nothing that would even resemble religion would be allowed, Everyone would have to pass the same standardized tests, public schooled, private schooled, home schooled, etc. In fact, I'd phase our home schooling, cause it's too easy to indoctrinate kids that way. Private schools that taught any form of discrimination would be shut down. This would include any religious teaches that said non-believers / sinners are going to hell. Yes, I realize that's all of them, I don't care.

Any product or service, bought, sold, traded, manufactured or otherwise part of the economy would have to prove all claims before being sold. No more herbal bullshit that's never had proper scientific testing. No more Psychic Hotline crap, even if it's is 'for entertainment purposes only.' No more Beyond With James Van Praagh. For that matter, Scientology would be shut down under this law too.

There's more, but I want to leave those as a surprise.

HemlockGrey · Post by **HemlockGrey** » 2002-12-21 06:50pm

Nothing that would even resemble religion would be allowed

In schools, or in the nation?

Post by **weemadando** » 2002-12-21 07:19pm

How do I get elected? My people love me! I run as an independant in the senate for a few terms before gaining enough support as a figure and creating enough disillusionment in the other major parties that when I feel the time is right I form my own party and run in the elections...

Once I have been elected to office.

First off - cut all trade and diplomatic relations and renegotiate them all with a view towards AUSTRALIA, not AMERICA's PACIFIC BITCH. Next, I would track down and jail/kill/reeducate every last member of Resistance, Socialist Alliance and Green Left. I would hold a second referendum into a republic with a simple Yes/No to an Australian head of state question, followed up (if neccessary) with a form of governance referendum. I would at least triple the military budget, after shooting the current defense department administrators who would appear to be utterly incompetent. Detention centres for refugees would be reformed, but NOT closed. Kerry Packer would be brought to justice for the travesty that is channel 9. Rupert Murdoch will just be shot. Skases body will be dis-interred and flown back to Australia and placed in the centre of Canberra and re-named "The Australian National Urinal". John Eales will be worshipped as a God. Shane Warne will be shot. Wayne Carey and all other AFL players, coaches, owners and commentators will be shot. Bruce McAveny, Eddie McGuire and Sam Newman fed to the specially trained "ball-biting lemurs". They will then be shot. Repeatedly. And then made into "The Australian National Urinal, part 2". All bogans, chiggers, ferals and other useless social minorities will be placed in labour camps and be forced to undergo permanent birth control measures. The Australian Democrats will be forced to kiss and make up. The Greens will be forced to kiss my arse. Liberal and labor alike can kiss my arse too. Jeff Kennett, John Howard, Andrew Peacock, Kim Beazely, Simon Crean and Peter Costello will be flayed alive and turned into "The Australian National Urinal, part 3". Alexander Downer will be forced to wear those fishnet stockings in public and walk from Adelaide to Darwin while covered in fresh meat. He will be forbidden from shooing away any interested dingos. Cathy Freeman will be bitchslapped. Ian Thorpe will be kicked in the nuts and Michael Klim slapped upsides the head. Jai Turema will be given a firm handshake and pizza. Kylie Minogue will be cloned, as will all other "Ralph" cover-girls and other featured Aussie babes. They will then be instituted into the breeding programs. Alan Bond will be cloned as many times as possible. He will then be used for target practice by the newly reformed armed forces. The current Governer General will be arse-raped by a horde of John Holmes clones, "all in the name of God." and we'll see how he likes it. Finally I will legalise all drugs and make them available over the counter at pharmacies with massive taxation on them. Dealers will be shot. As will any little Aussie kids who think they are homies.

Raptor 597 · Post by **Raptor 597** » 2002-12-21 10:21pm

I'd naturally act like a bitch of one of the party then say we need more secruity etc, etc. Until the next term where I'm elected and become dictator, but an open dictatorship. And this is when my first conquerings beging. Like those such as Canada aand Jamaica(comparsion intended) Folowing control of all of America's bitch nations I move on Europe and Eurasia then I destroy Red China and threaten the rest of the World ino submission.

Ted · Post by **Ted** » 2002-12-21 10:26pm

Ando, what about Steve Irwin, the Crocodile Hunter, gonna have him shot too?

Alferd Packer · Post by **Alferd Packer** » 2002-12-21 10:27pm

Simple: I pander to the fundamentalist jackoffs in my country to win the nomination of my party, then shuffle over to the center to get the most votes.

Then, once in office, I publicly renounce Jesus Christ as my Savior, and launch a full effort to separate church and state and overhaul the education system.

Post by **Alyrium Denryle** » 2002-12-21 10:41pm

Simple..i would simply be the fist HONEST canidate for centuries.

I would actually give ANSWERS to their questions instead of rhetoric.

My platform would be

Equal rights for everyone(or in other words, sex, race, religion sexual orientatiion etc, wouldnt even be an issue)

Pro-choice

Anti-death penalty

Pro-church-state separation

Anti-Fascism

Anti-expansionist theocracy

Post by **Kuja** » 2002-12-21 10:44pm

Tell the voters straight out: we can't solve all the problems at once. Living in a fairy tale will not make a country better (be it the US or anything else) Focus on the problems, fuck the politiking. I agree with Washington, who was against having political parties. Only difference is, he thought they would divide the nation. I think they just get people to focus on a name instead of the INFORMATION.

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi · Post by **Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi** » 2002-12-21 11:11pm

As president, I would abolish the Department of Education, for spending billions of dollars, yet not actually educating anybody. Then, I would repeal ineffective gun-control laws, increase education standards to make sure the next generation doesn't have morons, slam Jackson and Sharpton as race-baiting pimps that want to keep poor people poor, and reliant on government, and then do something to stop pork-barrel spending and corruption in Congress. Also, I would try to be in touch with the common American, and if I od something they don't want, I won't do it. If something bad happens, then they brought it on themselves. I would also eliminate the RIAA, and any Big-Brother-like government agency, sich as the Information Awareness Office.

Because I will have decreased prok-barrel spending, there should be hundreds of billions of dollars. Perhaps, I would spend some on a tax cut. If some greedy CEO is caught filling thier pocket's at the worker's expense, the CEO will recieve double the normal sentence, and have his assets distributed to the workers.

If I had to do something with Iraq, I would send inspectors first, and then consider action after they found WMDs.

Post by **weemadando** » 2002-12-21 11:19pm

Ted wrote:Ando, what about Steve Irwin, the Crocodile Hunter, gonna have him shot too?

I have special plans for him...

HemlockGrey · Post by **HemlockGrey** » 2002-12-21 11:31pm

Some of my first acts as President, assuming I have a pliant Congress:

-Introduce a revised War Powers Act that basically declares that Congress must approve any troop deployment longer than six months by a 2/3 majority.

-Establish the 2nd Amendment to protect a citizen's right to bear small arms, and institute something similiar to Alyeska's gun control policy

-Abolish the IAO

-Introduce a new amendment 'The Rights of Privacy', banning wiretapping without a warrant, mass-surveilence cameras, microchips in the brain, the DMCA, the RIAA hacking into people's computers, etc.

-Enforce the part of the Constitution that says 'No person shall ever be required to take any religious oath in order to hold public office.' Watch your back, Texas.

-Introduce several new equal-rights bills ensuring fair treatment of 'pagans', atheists, and homosexuals, especially in the Bible Belt.

-Abolish Affirmative Action

-Tell Israel to shape the hell up or forget American aid

-Make my foreign policy abundantly clear, unlike George 'Pick a card, any card' Bush. It will be thus:

*The United States of America will work to bring democracy and stability to third world countries through peaceful means; however, this does not give tinpot dictators free reign to stampede over human rights.

*The United States of America will not interfere in external conflicts unless asked. However, if the conflict threatens American interests, the United States will intervene and force meditation of the war.

That's all for now. I'll think of more eventually.

paladin · Post by **paladin** » 2002-12-21 11:31pm

If I was President...my first action would be to appoint Bill Clinton as chairman of the committee for getting fundie assholes like Pat Robertson laid!!!!

After that, everything else should fall into place.

Post by **Sea Skimmer** » 2002-12-21 11:32pm

Mass mind control via my Sith Powers, then declare war on the EU, after preparations, withdrawing American troops, training an elite army from age 10 to be my loyal guards/fodder, that sort of thing.

That aside, I'd do what everyone else does. LIE LIE LIE and become a whore to whatever seems to be the majority opinion in that district.

Theres a reason why common sence is never what we get in politics. It won't get you elected and once you're in power you have little reason to go off the winning path.

Darth Yoshi · Post by **Darth Yoshi** » 2002-12-22 01:02am

My platform would focus first on education, then on restoring rights to the people, and then the either keeping the economy up or pulling out of a recession.

Lord Pounder · Post by **Lord Pounder** » 2002-12-22 04:33pm

Living in Northern Ireland i'm not sure i want to be in charge of this shower of shite.

Serriously though i am involved in politics in real life and spent 2 1/2 years working as a voluntere for my party. In Northern Ireland you can only be one extreem or the other. Your either a IRA left-wing facist or a UDA donkey fucking rightwing racist moron. My party is Unionist which to those who aren't from here means i wanna stay part of the UK. My personaly politics is just left of centre and personally i support all the issues that are common sence. My 1st act if i got elected would be to throw out all the convected terrorists. Ten pass a law to make and man freed under the good friday agreement that re-offends serve his sentance from scratch ON TOP of what ever he is convicted off. 3rd i'd pass a law to torture peadophiles publically, I wanna see some leftwing tree hugger argue that. Then after i am impeached by my own party i'll write a book detailing which fellow politicians i screwed and life off the profits.

Deimos Anomaly · Post by **Deimos Anomaly** » 2002-12-22 04:47pm

I would beef up the military, and give more money to hospitals.

To do this I would pull money out of bullshit projects that everyone hates, such as speed cameras and "traffic calming" bumps in the road (aka car-wrecking devices).

Sothis · Post by **Sothis** » 2002-12-22 04:50pm

There's nothing like politics to get the blood pumping... here's my manifesto.

DOMESTIC AFFAIRS

Well, there are so many things that need fixing, where do we start?

The Health Service

The recent solution that we keep hearing is to throw more money at the health service and hope the problems within it go away.
Clearly this approach hasn't worked, yet Labour continue to try it. What the health service needs is a massive shake up.

Number 1: Nurses. Nurses often complain of being over-worked, so we need to encourage more people to step in and become
nurses. Given the current poor pay packets for nurses, a rise to at least £12'000 a year is needed. This is better than the starting
rate at many businesses, and the least that can be done for a stressed-out profession.

Number 2: Private Help. There is a furor over private sector investment and intergration into the health service, which is quite
frankly, silly. If there is money and aid to be had for hospitals and clinics, then we should be grabbing at it hungrily. If agencies
like BUPA are available to take on NHS patients, then by all means, lets take the pressure off public hospitals.

Number 3: Red Tape. There is too much in the way of form-filling and paper-pushing in the NHS. Make local government more
responsible for local health care, rather than having the long paper-trails that currently exist.

Transport

Oh my, what a nightmare.

Number 1: Railways. Britain has one of the most poorly designed networks of any rail system. The track is full of bends and
curves that prevent fast trains from actually going at fast speeds, and thanks to the operators, many trains are late anyway. It will
be unpopular, but a continous and gradual redesign of the network is needed to bring it up to scratch. A return to public
ownership will not be ruled out for those areas suffering the most mismanagement.

Number 2: Roads. Over-congestion in major cities and on major roads will be dealt with by a system of tolls and fees, but only
once the railways have been redeveloped. There will be a look at the efficiency of bus companies and the possibility of fines for
those not offering an adequate service.

Number 3: Planes. The plans to privatize air traffic control will be scrapped. Handing the safety of people's lives to a company
with shareholders to look after is a huge mistake.

Police and the Justice System

Lets take a look...

Number 1: Police. The current politically correct nature of politics makes it nearly impossible for police to do their job. Police need
powers to arrest who they system, based on their activities, rather than having to hold off because of PC. It doesn't matter if that
person is black, asian or african, they are not above the law because they are a minority, and don't deserve special treatment if
they commit a crime.

Number 2: Red Tape: As with the health service, police and the courts are becoming increasingly bogged down with paperwork. I
work for the courts, so trust me, I know what I'm talking about. We get an insane amount of paperwork to sort out, half of which I'm
sure is not needed. It would save time and money if we could get rid of some of it.

Taxes

Always a thorny issue...

I am for the raising of taxes. The open and honest increase of both income tax and taxes on a company's profits. Reforms of the
transport and health care systems are expensive endeavours, and whilst money can be saved from cutting bureacracy and
allowing greater private funding for the NHS, that will not cover everything.

Grand Admiral Thrawn · Post by **Grand Admiral Thrawn** » 2002-12-22 05:21pm

What do you mean "vote"? People won't be voting for me. I'll already be in power.

1. Annex Quebec. This arogant mini-French bastards aren't going to be a Pseudocountry anymore.
2. Get rid of all 90% of the House of Commons.
3. Replace the Senate with my handpicked lankeys.
4. Increase military spending. I don't want a fleet of MegaCarriers, just to turn Canada from a joke into a real power.
5. If NK has nukes and Iraq supposlidly has them, we will too. We're already have IIRC the second biggest sourse of uranium and multiple nuclear reactors.
6. Assinate Mundgu or however you spell it. If they point at us, says it's for the 6 million people that are starving. They can do jackshit to me.
7. Relocate to a DEEP underground bunker.

aerius · Post by **aerius** » 2002-12-22 07:16pm

Why stop with anenexing Quebec? Once we get our nukes and military up to speed we can hold America hostage and force them to sign their whole country over to us. Since Quebec is now part of Greater Ontario, the Americans can be our 10th province, and Alaska will be rejoined with the Yukon territory. With that little bit taken care of we can move on to the real fun.

The RIAA will kiss my ass. Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera will make music no more, they will now be sex slaves at the service of my loyal followers. The Backstreet Boys and N'Sync will star in a surprisingly successful series of beastiality porn flicks entitled "Barnyard Boy Band Anal", they ain't gonna be making any more music either. The record execs and talent managers responsible for the above bands will be locked in a room and forced to listen to the shitty music of their bands until they're blubbering wrecks.

Chantal Kreviazuk, Sarah McLachlan, Sarah Slean, and Shania Twain will be making nude versions of their popular music videos for me. No reason really, except that I've always wanted to see cool naked music videos with cute singer babes.

Concealed carry weapons permits will be available to all law abiding citizens in my new country, and gun control garbage will be tossed out the window along with a bunch of other stupid laws. Citizens can now shoot home robbers, car thieves, muggers, and rapists on sight with no legal repurcussions. Open season will be declared on criminal scumbags.

The retarded highways speed limits will be gone. You can now drive as fast as you damn well please on designated highways.

The legal system will be getting a major overhaul. The next idiot who tries to sue Micky D's when they burn themselves with hot coffee will be laughed out of court and pay a hefty fine for wasting the court's time. With all the frivolous lawsuits gone it'll free things up to deal with serious stuff, like putting organized crime rings and pedophiles in jail for a good long time.

Religious fundies such as the ones that troll this board will be rounded up and sent off to re-education camps where the goodness of science and logic will be beaten into them. If re-education fails they'll be publically humiliated on a TV debate program of some sort and/or used as target practice for my new army.

That should about cover things for now, I'm sure I'll have many things to do as leader of a united north american continent.

Post by **Colonel Olrik** » 2002-12-22 07:46pm

If you were to run for leader of your country...

Nobody here would care.. Nor the rest of the world. Maybe if I shouted xenophobic slogans really loud we'd get some attention from the rest of the E.U.

And the Portuguese president has no executive powers, anyway.

Now if I was the prime minister, on the other hand..

I'd invite Sheppard to run the new ministry of war. With his accumulated experience in expanding the Portuguese Empire, I'd anexate Spain (with the sunken oil tank crises, northern Spanish like us better than Madrid, anyway). Then I'd send a trooper to France and obtain their unconditional surrender.

On second thought, nahh. The british would probably spoil my fun. Bunch of lousy do-gooders.

I would change the employment laws. They're one of the most restrictive in the E.U (basically, employees can never be fired). Thankefully, that's being done already. Our unemployment rate is about 4%, btw.

I'd give a boost to science and give all damned citizens a proper education. Inrespective of their wants on the subject.

I'd legalise abortion according to scientific facts and evidence. Screw the entire population. Bunch of histerics in both sides of the debate

Well, that's it. We don't have that many problems, anyway.

Oh, are you Americans interested in buying our islands, by any chance? They give more trouble and expenses that they're worth.

At least, take this guy, please. It's for free!

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi · Post by **Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi** » 2002-12-22 07:48pm

I, too would outlaw frivolous lawsuits. Perhaps make an amendment prohibiting them.

Also, I don't see why sodomy is a crime. Now only are such anti-sodomy laws absurd, they're contradicted by the US government, which does not endorse such laws, and actually violates them by fucking the American Taxpayer from behind constantly.

I would support human cloning for purposes like researching cures, but if such technology falls into the wrong hands, the results could be devastating. Does anyone here want another Barbara Streisand?

I would also make evolution mandatory to teach kids, even in religous schools, so our next generation isn't as misinformed and gullible as the last. On the topic of religous schools, religion classes should be limited, perhaps a maximum of 2 days on the 6-day cycle, like the one used in my district. Not only do they indotrate kids and take time away from other subjects, they're so damn boring.

I would also outlaw other forms of idiocy, like the kind of political correctness that makes it so only white Republicans can be racist. I would also support a wall between church and state, but not the PC wall where you have to say "IF" because "TGIF" is unconstitutional.

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