Basically, I can't connect. I don't use a software firewall, I'm forwarding the relevant ports on the router, and GW uses outgoing connections exclusively ANYWAY. The client updater works fine, but the client itself can't connect to jack shit. Everything else works: all kinds of browers, mail clients, MMOs, FPSes, VPNs, and several other acronyms. It's just fucking Guild Wars.
I haven't played in many months, and I've updated the firmware on my Netcomm NB5 router since then. The router could be blocking these specific outgoing connections (somehow and somewhy) but I can't find anything to that effect in the configuration. So someone help me out, I have failed as a nerd.
