A sad story compounded by fundies

Post by **Cairber** » 2006-09-13 02:29pm

I weas also wondering where he husband is in this. I have talked to her on the phone twice now and both times she has mentioned that he "isnt home" (without me asking- kinda got me thinking something is up).

I'm not as close to her as I am her sister; our talking before this incident was confined to the parenting board I met her on and email/PM and a few phone calls on birthdays, etc.

I think the fact taht she has called me a few times now might mean her husband is not providing support here (at least not as much as he should be). She does keep saying "We" have decided and "we" are terminating.

I don't know.

I feel like I'm not close enough to question her husband but, on the other hand, it doesn't take someone really close to question this type of behavior.

Setesh · Post by **Setesh** » 2006-09-13 03:34pm

There is also postpartum depression to think about. If she carries this corpse waiting to happen to term it will finish expiring right about the time her progesterone level drops and sends her into chemical depression, with having to watch it 'die' while already in that state she's going to need to be on suicide watch.

vargo · Post by **vargo** » 2006-09-13 05:48pm

IF the father is going to be playing the Religious Card on her. I would play it right back at him by saying to your friend that Jesus came to you in a dream and jesus told you to abort, so that this baby's soul would move on to a better living baby that will grow up to be a teacher or what ever awsome profession that the father-in-law would accecpt.

Wyrm · Post by **Wyrm** » 2006-09-13 07:10pm

Ask this fucker to put his money where his mouth is. If he isn't willing to sign a binding agreement to provide for this doomed child's care and eventual disposal, from his own pocket if need be, then he is to shut the fuck up. (Be sure that he knows that this can easily run into the millions of dollars.)

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2006-09-13 09:12pm

Cairber wrote:I feel like I'm not close enough to question her husband but, on the other hand, it doesn't take someone really close to question this type of behavior.

Exactly. He swore an oath to do something that he is apparently not doing.

Post by **NecronLord** » 2006-09-14 05:03am

vargo wrote:IF the father is going to be playing the Religious Card on her. I would play it right back at him by saying to your friend that Jesus came to you in a dream and jesus told you to abort, so that this baby's soul would move on to a better living baby that will grow up to be a teacher or what ever awsome profession that the father-in-law would accecpt.

Unfortunately, that kind of thing is likely to be as productive as giving the FIL a good beating with a heavy stick. And far less satisfying.

Post by **Cairber** » 2006-09-26 02:05pm

Sorry to drag up an old post but I wanted to give an update.

They had the termination done, and, it seems to have made her the person I remember before all of this.

I think the whole incident has made her think about her relationship with her husband and his family a lot; she has hinted that she wants to do therapy and that she feels they cannot try for another child until "something is done."

She hasn't asked for my advice on any of this, just sent me a few "update" emails and I talked to her briefly the other day. She mentioned wanting to move. Her sister and I are going to wait a little while (she isn't very receptive to outside opinions on this subject at the moment it seems) but we have decided that, once she seems ready to talk about it all, we want to encourage her to think about moving towards her family and away from his (and definitely work on their relationship).

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2006-09-26 02:10pm

Her husband needs a good swift kick in the ass. Life isn't all about rights and freedoms; sometimes it's about responsibilities. Sometimes it's about upholding the solemn oath you swore when you took your marriage vows. How can this man be a worthy husband and father if he wouldn't even defend his wife? It would be nice if this guy were a member here so I could ask him how much money he got when he sold his balls.