Jacket + Panic! + Alchemist: Ambitious or ludicrous?

Shinn Langley Soryu · Post by **Shinn Langley Soryu** » 2006-09-15 12:09am

It was a simple idea at first: Full Metal Jacket + Full Metal Panic! + Fullmetal Alchemist. It was just an alternate-history Vietnam War with mecha and alchemy. Gunnery Sergeant Hartman wouldn't appear, but Sergeant Sagara and Colonel Mustang would. However, that simple premise failed to spawn a coherent plot, so I decided to take a few pages from other stuff. Prepare for an excessively long, drawn-out, semi-coherent plot summary that's willing to shamelessly steal stuff and warp it to suit its own needs, without even the slightest regard for canon.

...

It starts off just like Apocalypse Now. Colonel Roy Mustang, the Flame Alchemist, is approached by a group of intelligence officers, who present him with a mission: go into Cambodia and terminate General "Fuhrer" King Bradley, a former Green Beret who has allegedly gone insane and is now commanding his own legions of Viet Cong, Montagnards, former Khmer Rouge, American defectors, and international mercenaries, with extreme prejudice.

Mustang's crew is an extremely eclectic mix of men and women; when all the intel is analyzed, it's revealed that General Bradley has something each of them are looking for. Lieutenant Colonel Maes Hughes is currently investigating the "Philosopher's Legacy," a sum of approximately $1 trillion shared between the members of NATO; Bradley has appropriated a large chunk of America's share for his own purposes, and Hughes has come to collect it back. Major Tim Marcoh, the Crystal Alchemist, is interested in recovering his research on the Philosopher's Stone, which was stolen by Bradley prior to his mutiny; Major Edward Elric and his brother Alphonse are not only after Marcoh's research, but after an actual Philosopher's Stone as well. The resident CIA advisor, an enigmatic man by the alias of "Scar," bears a personal grudge against one of Bradley's henchmen—the traitorous Crimson Alchemist, Lieutenant Colonel Zolf Kimblee.

Prior to departing on his mission to terminate General Bradley, Colonel Mustang receives a number of reinforcements: a trio of majors named Kazuma Torisuna, Cloud Strife, and Sheena Fujibayashi, along with their respective squads. Major Torisuna, along with CIA agent "Straight Cougar," Captain Ayase Terada, and 2nd Lieutenant Asuka Tachibana, is one of a special group dubbed "Alter users," alchemists who can transmute without any regard for transmutation circles or Equivalent Exchange; in addition to their considerable alchemic power, Alter users can manifest a special ability that can enhance their combat abilities. Most of the people in Major Strife and Major Fujibayashi's squads are either Alter users or regular alchemists; those who have no Alter power or alchemic ability make up for it with truly formidable combat skills, be it with guns, knives, or their own fists.

At first, Roy is baffled at why Kazuma, Cloud, and Sheena are with him, but a further look into the intel reveals a disturbing revelation: Everyone who has been sent after General Bradley has either been terminated with extreme prejudice themselves or brainwashed into members of his own legion. The last two schmucks sent to do the job, "Sephiroth" and "Mithos Yggdrasill," have not been heard from for quite a while, which is why Cloud and Sheena are there to investigate. As for Kazuma, he and his squad have been assigned to terminate any and all Alter users in league with Bradley; Kazuma especially has it in for his nemesis, Lieutenant Colonel Ryuho Tairen.

On Bradley's side of the story, it is revealed that he is now in league with a rogue Soviet military adviser, Colonel Yevgeny Borisovitch Volgin. The infamous "Thunderbolt" has strongarmed a group of scientists into developing a superweapon known as "Shagohod," ostensibly to help the North Vietnamese unite all Indochina under Communist rule. Unlike most of the characters, the weapon has survived the transition more or less intact. It's still a giant nuke-launching tank, but there's an important caveat: it requires a little device known as a "Lambda Driver" in order to operate properly. Unfortunately for Volgin, none of his scientists are smart enough to devise the Driver by themselves; he's up shit creek without a paddle and completely at the mercy of the Americans unless he can find someone with the needed expertise.

Enter Kaname Chidori, a 16-year-old student at Jindai-Fuuka-Mahora Preparatory, a prestigious high school for the children of military families in Saigon. Unbeknownst to herself, Kaname is one of the "Whispered," persons with an unusually intuitive knowledge of so-called "Black Technology" (which, incidentally, the Lambda Driver is an article of). Volgin knows of Kaname's status, but so does the U.S. Armed Forces; in order to prevent her from falling into enemy hands, Ensign Sousuke Sagara, a 17-year-old prodigy fresh out of Annapolis, has been assigned to protect her.

The student body of Jindai-Fuuka-Mahora is a bewildering mix of every teenage drama and anime cliche known to man. Kaname has made a lot of friends and just as many enemies; naming and describing them all would take many posts, but there are quite a few who stand out. Her best friends are an eclectic mix of young women: would-be State Alchemists Rin Tosaka and Sakura Mato, resident child prodigy Chiyo Mihama, general oddball Ayumu Kasuga, enigmatic swordswomen Saber and Shana, large-breasted genius Orihime Inoue, heterochromatic redhead Asuna Kagurazaka, shy bookworm Nodoka Miyazaki, and the eccentric beauty known only as Haruhi Suzumiya, to name only a few. Her worst nemesis is none other than Tohru Honda, the tyrannical and sadistic class president; one of her hobbies is tormenting Kaname and her circle of friends through the liberal use of her goons, Yuki and Kyo Sohma. Unfortunately for Tohru, Sousuke's arrival has crimped her style somewhat, and she now seeks to eliminate him as well.

The faculty of Jindai-Fuuka-Mahora is just as bizarre as the student body, if not even more. For instance, AP English teacher Negi Springfield, for instance, is a 13-year-old Alter user, a protege of legendary educator and current U.S. Secretary of Education Eikichi Onizuka, and a childhood friend of Sousuke. The Japanese teacher, Yukari Tanizaki, is just as weird as her students are, if not even more; her mood swings and odd behavior are legendary on campus. Principal Rufus Shinra is actually a commissioned Lieutenant Commander in the U.S. Navy sent to keep an eye on Sousuke and Kaname; his henchpeople Reno, Rude, Tseng, and Elena are in charge of school security. Reno in particular has an axe to grind with his renegade cousin Axel, whose main hobby is to harass the Jindai-Fuuka-Mahora student body; Axel is one of the members of the international terrorist faction known as "Organization XIII," which is seeking out Kaname and other members of the Whispered for their own insidious purposes.

This is the backdrop of the greater plot. Can Roy, Cloud, and Sheena do their jobs and terminate General Bradley before they're terminated themselves? Can Kaname deal with the hassles of school life while trying to save herself from Colonel Volgin and the Organization?

...

Yes, it's retarded, but it's so crazy it just might work. (Note: A whole lot more gets crossed over than what I've described here; I may drop a few minor details here and there, but should this thing actually get written, you'll find out.)

Now, I submit it to the unforgiving gaze of the SDN writers. What do you guys think?

Ford Prefect · Post by **Ford Prefect** » 2006-09-15 12:34am

I ... well. That was ... Jesus Christ man!

Write it please. It would be so utterly absurd that I would get an enormous kick out of it.

Jason von Evil · Post by **Jason von Evil** » 2006-09-15 12:40am

Stupid question: Are Metal and Panic related to each other at all? I find it a bit odd that two different anime/mangas would have names so similar.

Shinn Langley Soryu · Post by **Shinn Langley Soryu** » 2006-09-15 01:04am

Jason von Evil wrote:Stupid question: Are Metal and Panic related to each other at all? I find it a bit odd that two different anime/mangas would have names so similar.

Fullmetal Alchemist and Full Metal Panic! have absolutely, positively NOTHING to do with one another. Coincidence? Maybe.

Sidewinder · Post by **Sidewinder** » 2006-09-15 01:54am

This is FAR more ambitious than any story I've every written. I wouldn't try something like this for fear the story threads would get so convoluted that it would unravel, or that character development will be limited to five-sentence cameos.

If you're confident in your writing abilities, go ahead and write this crossover. But if you don't intend to write it as a nonsensical comedy, I advise you to simplify the plot and eliminate some characters-- or spend several years and thousands of pages trying to resolve the plot threads and develop the characters in the story.

Vehrec · Post by **Vehrec** » 2006-09-15 09:14am

Wha, gah, hubah? Gurable. . .*foams at the mouth and falls over.*

*stands up, wipes off mouth*
Ok, you know whats sad? I recognized almost all those characters. WOE! And yeah, if this can be done it would be confusing, awesome, and made of WIN. See if you can't slip a little Good Morning Vietnam in the side, just for the fun of it.

Nephtys · Post by **Nephtys** » 2006-09-15 01:13pm

My brain is going to explode.

Vietnam War + Alchemic Alternate-Germany + Giant Robot Comedy?

(Alright Al, today we're going to try to find the Philosopher's Stone here in this VC-occupied village... oh look out! Robot suits! Damn you Charlie, noooooo!)

Noble Ire · Post by **Noble Ire** » 2006-09-15 03:12pm

Well, I'll certainly give you credit for creativity.

Its quite a project, but if you feel up to it, you should give the story a try. I'll be interested to see what you do with it.

Darth Raptor · Post by **Darth Raptor** » 2006-09-16 01:52am

OMFG EnvyxRaikov!!!1!1

Ahem, I mean, I think that has to be the most universes I've seen squeezed into a single crossover. If you pull this off, you'll be my hero.

technomage · Post by **technomage** » 2006-09-16 09:33pm

Why don't we throw in the Genesis video game Full Metal Fighter Ellinor Aleste?

It seems to fit the general theme.

montypython · Post by **montypython** » 2006-09-16 11:19pm

If this story really is to be written, you'll need quite a number of backup writers to help out too.

Shinn Langley Soryu · Post by **Shinn Langley Soryu** » 2006-09-16 11:51pm

technomage wrote:Why don't we throw in the Genesis video game Full Metal Fighter Ellinor Aleste?

It seems to fit the general theme.

I only write about stuff I'm familiar with, and there's already way too much packed in there as it is.

Full Metal Panic!
Full Metal Jacket
Fullmetal Alchemist
Apocalypse Now
Final Fantasy VII
Tales of Symphonia
s-CRY-ed
Metal Gear Solid 3
Fate/stay night
Azumanga Daioh
Fruits Basket
Negima
Shakugan no Shana
Bleach
The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya
Kingdom Hearts II

And that's just for starters.

technomage · Post by **technomage** » 2006-09-17 02:14am

That was my idea of humor, my friend.

FMFE Aleste is just another Japanese shmup for the Genesis, with all of the gunfire and explosions typical of the breed, although it has an excellent, driving soundtrack.

What story may be behind it I have no idea, as I've never seen the manual and couldn't read Japanese if I had. I was joking about the common theme to your crossover: "Full Metal." The only contribution it could possibly make to your story would be to provide an excuse for mecha and alien war machines to blow each other up in the air and in space... or to explain a continual rain of flaming wreckage falling to the ground.

EDIT: The only things on that list of yours that I'm familiar with are Full Metal Jacket and Apocalypse Now. Puts you several up on me.

Winston Blake · Post by **Winston Blake** » 2006-09-27 02:05am

I've only seen a handful of those - FMA, FMJ, Azumanga Daioh, and have some idea of MGS, FFVII and FMP.

Here's my little idea - Germany wins WWII with nukes and takes over America, which later secedes to become the non-Nazi Amestris, defeating the Third Reich. The ravages of war cause another Great Depression in Amestris, giving the low tech of FMA. The discovery of alchemy and establishment of State Alchemists allows Amestris to recover and become powerful without having to redevelop heavy industry.

When the Vietnam War comes along (->FMJ/Apocalypse Now), Amestris (as the alternate-America) develops mecha to fight the VC (insert FMP mecha elements). These mecha are made plausible because they're based on direct-neural-interface auto-mail technology (which is in turn related to alchemy), and can navigate the unconventional Vietnam terrain better than normal AFVs. The threat of these mecha is why the VC want King Bradley to get them the Shagohod.

From what wikipedia tells me about s-CRY-ed, Japan can become a major power due to espionage against Amestris allowing them to develop their own advanced form of alchemy, 'Alter using'. Maybe FFVII can fit in here somehow.

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