God and Iron Chariots

[Winston Blake]

To be fair, the English translation is ambiguous because 'he' could be referring to either. I'm betting that more recent versions retcon this passage because of its stupidity, so if anyone has the original Hebrew it could solve this.

I don't see what difference it would make, actually. The passage is very explicit that God is helping Judah. When "The LORD is with Samson", then Samson gets supernatural strength. When the Bible says the LORD is with someone, it means he's performing miracles on their behalf. So even with God's help, the men of Judah could not defeat the iron chariots. Maybe iron really is kryptonite to God.

I was interpreting 'the LORD being with somebody' as merely meaning 'he's on their side' e.g. claims of anti-abortionists and jihadists alike. Yet they don't expect supernatural phenomena. If that phrase is often used in the Bible to mean '*ding* You obtained Spirit of the Lord, +10 magic' then yeah, God's kung fu is pretty weak. Maybe we can loan him some attack helicopters in exchange for his terraforming technology.

[Patrick Degan]

Kind of like the Boabhan Sith

Boabhan Sith

The Baobhan Sith is a particularly evil and dangerous female vampire from the highlands of Scotland. They were supposed to prey on unwary travellers in the glens and mountains. The name suggests a form of Banshee.

A common tale is told of 4 young friends who set off on a hunting trip in the glens, benighted the men take refuge in an abandoned Shieldig (small cottage).

Darkness falls quickly and the men build a fire in the hearth and set about entertaining themselves for the night. One of them is a talented singer, and sings as his companions begin to dance around the room.

One of the men wishes that they had the company of women and speaks as such. Seconds after he has spoken 4 women appear at the door and begin dancing with the three men.

Suddenly the atmosphere changes and the women become frenzied, imbued with supernatural strength they tear at the dancers and blood begins to spill around the room.

Terrified the young man who was supplying the music runs out of the door with one of the creatures at his heels. He takes refuge between the horses and this seems to create a barrier over which the creature can not cross. He spends a long and cold night between the horses, with the Boabhan Sith circling around waiting for an opportunity to pounce on him. At last dawn breaks and the creature disappears.

When he returns to the shieldig a ghastly sight greets him. All his companions are dead, sprawled around the floor in agonising positions completely drained of blood.

Traditionally supernatural creatures are afraid of iron, and taking refuge in the wild horses may have saved him because of the horse's iron shoes.

Jehovah is a female Scottish vampire!

More to the point, Jehovah is a Sith. The Bible proves it through His attitudes to everything. Only a Sith deals in absolutes.

[FedRebel]

More to the point, Jehovah is a Sith. The Bible proves it through His attitudes to everything. Only a Sith deals in absolutes.

That'd make Satan a Jedi

[Elfdart]

More to the point, Jehovah is a Sith. The Bible proves it through His attitudes to everything. Only a Sith deals in absolutes.

But it's pronounced "shee", as in Banshee. This Gaelic vampire is pronounced Bavanshee .