How to Mountain Bike like an idiot

[J]

I'll stick to just riding like a bat out of hell without jumping off of logs like a maniac, thank you very much.

Then you should shave your legs like a girl and be a roadie.

We're in agreement here, and furthermore I say he should be required to wear spandex tights.

[weemadando]

I see no blood. I also see no obviously out of joint limbs. I also see a distinct lack of impalation.

On top of it all, he appears to be smiling.

That crash gets: NO FIST!

Seriously. Weak.

I'm wondering: Are you one of those hardcore PAIN = ROCK ON!! type of people? Where if there's no blood/impalement/decapitation, the person's not trying hard enough? Judging from your post(s) on this thread and the SCA thread about that duel... I think you are.

I'm not a great fan of pain, I just like to have that immediate and visceral feedback to let me know that I've done something stupid.

And also - that particular "crash" is truly weak. He looks like he fell off onto a nice soft bed of pine needles... But then again, usually if you have a horrible enough crash everyone is too worried about stopping bleeding rather than taking pictures.

[weemadando]

Then you should shave your legs like a girl and be a roadie.

Hey, we roadies could kick your ass! :P

I own a mediocre mountain bike, but honestly, I use it mostly in winter when slowly riding over ice, slush and snow, where it works well. I am way too scared to take it out on any trails. During summer, I use my road bikes (one for just random stuff and the other for longer rides when I don the lycra, clipless pedals, etc.) Being on the road is nice and serene, pretty safe, and faster.

Road biking is nice and fun.

You know its kind of funny - during my years of mountain biking I never hurt myself badly downhilling (bruised and scraped, but nothing serious). Every SINGLE concussion causing, horrible infected gash producing, shock inducing, blood spurting crash I've had has been on perfectly flat, level and straight asphalt - usually with no outside influence - I just suddenly lose it, go arse over tit and nail myself. Kind of embarassing really.

[aerius]

And also - that particular "crash" is truly weak. He looks like he fell off onto a nice soft bed of pine needles... But then again, usually if you have a horrible enough crash everyone is too worried about stopping bleeding rather than taking pictures.

I caught a bit of air coming over the lip of the ravine, unfortunately I landed on wet leaves and the bike slid out before I could blink. I spun off my bike and went sliding into the trees, it was a pretty harmless fall.

[pieman3141]

Hey, there are stupider things one could be doing, like riding a brakeless track bike through the city.

Almost all track bikes are fixed gear so they don't need brakes to stop. Still, it ain't the brightest thing in the world to ride'em with no brakes in the city since they don't stop fast at all.

Yet, in Vancouver at least, almost all the bike couriers/messengers use fixed-gear bikes that are brakeless. I have a friend who is one. I've seen them ride all over downtown. It is certainly harder to stop, especially if you're used to having brakes, but I don't think it's that much harder, with practice.

[Seggybop]

As someone with pretty extensive experience riding such a bike, yes, you can stop pretty reliably most of the time if your gear ratio isn't too high. However, most of the time != all the time / that time you really need it.

You can slow at a reliable rate by resisting the motion of the pedals, but stopping distance is very long and you need to know several seconds in advance that you want to stop. You can stop much faster by locking the cranks with your legs and making the rear wheel skid, but that has the stopping power of a conventional rear brake alone at best (not so great), and can't be executed reliably in an emergency. If you ever need to stop RIGHT AWAY, like if someone suddenly pulls out in front of you, you're quite screwed. You'll also have a pretty horrible time going down hills.

[Andrew J.]

Great Mazinger

I got vertigo just looking at some of those pictures!

I may lead a sedentary lifestyle, but at least I know I'll pass away in my sleep from fat-clogged arteries instead of smashing my skull out in the middle of no-goddamn-where.

[aerius]

Now with a video of Wade Simmons, who is IMO the best mountain biker ever.
He makes the completely fucking insane trail look easy.

[Zwinmar]

No crazier than some of the bmx stuff I did as a kid..nameily building a ramp, haveing my 3 brothers lay down in front of it so I could jump over them.

Yeah, stupid, I know.

We made our own bikes from parts of may others. Never had breaks though.

[Lisa]

reminds me of some of the stuff i'd see when i was a bike courier in toronto. rumour had it that this one particularly skinny guy managed to ride between two streetcars but no one ever could say they saw him do it (he had his handlebars cut down).