Nice one Zaia.Zaia wrote:Hi! Y'all are going to think that I am the most spoiled-rotten woman on the face of the planet, but I'm going to tell you this anyway, because it's amusing and makes me feel extremely loved. My parents gave me diamond earrings this year for Christmas, as did one of my brothers, so now I have THREE pairs (including of course the infamous pair my friend gave me last week). The phrase "when it rains, it pours" keeps coming to mind, although this is of course a lovely thing to have happen to me, as opposed to a nasty thing.
I missed the original discussion thread when it started, but I really do think you need to simply drop this guy. You've told him 5 times that there's no chance and that should have been all th warning you needed that he is never going to stop. If you tell him once and thn need to tell him again, then fine - maybe he misunderstood you the first time. But if you have to tell him a third time then he is never going to get the message (or acknowledge it anyway). Your best bet is to Give him back the earrings, tell him why in a clear manner. Explain you're uncomfortable with the idea of having a freind that won't accept the boundaries of that friendship, and that if he's really your friend he'll let you go now on good terms. Wish him the best in the future and then leave.Zaia wrote:It seems everyone knew I wanted those earrings and they all decided at the same time to get them for me. Go figger. So, when I tell my guy friend about the other two pairs I now have, I plan on saying something about how my parents, my brother, and a friend who is just like another brother to me (him, of course) all got me what I most wanted! In that way, I both thank him again and point out that it is not seen by me as a romantic gift AND that I don't see him in a romantic light. Yes, I will talk with him at length about his not having a chance in hell, but I think I'll use that family comment to start off that discussion.
Now if any of my female friends told me i was making them uncomfortable, and wanted to make a clean break. Then as their friend I'd accept that (I'd be unhappy but it's their choice) and move on. If he's really your friend he'll understand, if he only sees you as a friend he'll understand, if he genuinely wants the best for you he'll understand. If he's in love with you he'll protest, he'll tell you that he can work at not making you uncomfortable and things will be fine if you just give it a chance, He'll say anything to guilt you into not leaving him.
You have to be strong, and you have to make a stand. You're returning the earrings, you're making it clear why you need to do it and if he really is your friend he'll do his best to make it easy for you.
Obviously you need to talk it over with your offline friends as well as us here, and see if they thought it was an inappropriate gift. Go through your options with them first and then act on it.
Marla's a troll don't waste your time on her feculant spewings.Zaia wrote:Marla, I think this pretty much rules out your "diamond earrings = sexual favours" rule. And if that doesn't, I'd really rather not hear about it.