NFL Football Thread

Darth Fanboy · Post by **Darth Fanboy** » 2006-10-24 03:12am

I didn't watch the game tonight, what did Kornholeser do tonight?

Addendum:

I'm looking at the box score. How the fuck can Dallas lose if they hold Eli Manning to under 200 yards passing and a less than 50% completion percentage? Oh that's right, Tiki fucking Barber. Looks like they would have done a better job of stopping him if they had replaced their run defense with peanut butter sandwiches.

And for every Dallas-wanker who thinks Tony Romo is the third coming of Roger Staubach (the second coming being Troy Aikman) I got news for you. Three picks against the Giants and he didn't even play the whol game, Romo is just another word meaning overhyped and overrated.

Darth Garden Gnome · Post by **Darth Garden Gnome** » 2006-10-24 02:32pm

Darth Fanboy wrote:I didn't watch the game tonight, what did Kornholeser do tonight?

Nothing in particular; just being himself. I wanted to shout how much I hated him from the rooftops, but SDN is an acceptable substitute.

Elfdart · Post by **Elfdart** » 2006-10-24 04:51pm

Just be glad you don't live in DFW. Cowboy fans are colossal fucktards. They are always convinced that whoever is sitting on the bench is better than the starting QB. Yes, Drew Bledsoe is only half the QB he once was and yes, he threw a bonehead pick in the red zone last night. But the Cowboy fans have wanted the backup before the first game of the season and last night Parcells finally granted their wish. Romo threw three picks and threw away the game. Parcells has such a massive case of FOJIGMO going that he didn't rip Terrell Owens a new one for pussying out on a pass on a 4th and 1 and smiling on the sidelines afterward. Instead, The Tuna just kept looking up at the ceiling with that look of resignation you see on the face of the parents of retarded kids when they act up in public.

This is Bill Parcells' last year in Dallas.

Havok · Post by **Havok** » 2006-10-24 11:48pm

Darth Fanboy wrote:As a true Niner fan Havok, I know you don't really mean that. Raider jokes NEVER get stale.

You caught me.

FSTargetDrone wrote:
RedImperator wrote:
phongn wrote: MWAUAHAHHAHA.
Just for that, I should nuke Tampa Bay in HI, except I've already done that.
McNabb got sick too early.

Damnation. CanNOT lose like that, to a team like that.

Yeah, he should wait until the Superbowl again.

Havok · Post by **Havok** » 2006-10-24 11:49pm

Hey on the upside of my teams bye week, we get to play the Bears... yeay

Darth Fanboy · Post by **Darth Fanboy** » 2006-10-25 11:17am

havokeff wrote:Hey on the upside of my teams bye week, we get to play the Bears... yeay

I'm having a crisis of conscience over who to pick in that game myself.

My Heart wrote: You saw how they played Arizona. This is gonna be a trap game! Frank Gore will keep both hands on the ball! GO NINERS!

My Brain wrote: But yeah my money's still on the Bears.

Havok · Post by **Havok** » 2006-10-27 01:15am

Some random thoughts on the season so far...

Bill Parcels is no longer an elite coach.

After seeing how shitty the Cardinals O-line has made Edge, I no longer think J.J. Arrington is a bust.

Lavar Arrington might be the best instinctual/freelance linebacker in the league... or he was.

The Colts have a better shot at going 16-0 than the Bears do.

Art Shell doesn't smile (I stole that from Prime Time)

I don't care if pro atheletes take steroids.

I hate Chris Collinsworth now more than ever and "Football Night In America" sucks and it's music sounds like John Williams conducted it.

Rich Eisen, Prime Time and Mooch are a good fucking team.

Tiki Barber would be a good Flamewarrior on our beloved SDN.

The Niners will win 8 games

The Raiders will somehow loose the game they already won.

That is all.

Darth Garden Gnome · Post by **Darth Garden Gnome** » 2006-10-27 01:29am

havokeff wrote:Rich Eisen, Prime Time and Mooch are a good fucking team.

Oh? Is Mariucci into broadcasting now? I hear he was planning to go coach at Michigan State if John L. Smith got fired (might be in jeopardy now considering that fucking job-saving record-setting comeback win).

Tiki Barber would be a good Flamewarrior on our beloved SDN.

What did he say?

Havok · Post by **Havok** » 2006-10-27 01:37am

Tiki Linki

Tiki Barber blasted critics of his retirement decision on his Tuesday night Sirius Satellite Radio show, "The Barber Shop."

"...I will call them idiots, because they have neither spoken to me, nor any one of my teammates or any of my coaches," Barber said. "Yet all they do is criticize me for being a distraction with this retirement thing."

Barber was specifically upset at three of his critics: the New York Daily News' Gary Myers, who wrote that Barber had "created a season-long distraction" the Giants "don't need"; and ESPN's Tom Jackson, who said the decision "has distracted the team from the task at hand," and Michael Irvin.

"To me, in my head, that's quitting," Irvin said before the Giants' 36-22 win over the Dallas Cowboys on Monday night. "That's not retiring."

Barber singled the three out during his radio show Tuesday night.

"And that includes Gary Myers," he said. "That includes Tom Jackson on ESPN. That includes the ultimate character guy, facetiously speaking of course, Michael Irvin. Please get a clue on how to be a journalist.

"Don't make blanket assumptions about it [retirement]. And obviously, as was evidenced [Monday] night, I am a huge distraction to the New York Giants," he said.

The remarks come a week after it was first learned Barber was considering retiring after this season.

"I've been talking about retirement for years now, and it has nothing to do with being physical or money or Hall of Fame," Barber said at the time. "It's all about my desires, and for me to change them would compromise my integrity and would compromise who I am as a person and what I've always stood for."

Asked whether there was added pressure to win this year because of his plans, Barber said: "The pressure's always there, it's no different just because you guys know that I'm going to retire this year.

"I'm a diverse person," Barber said. "I have a lot of interests, and at some point it's time to execute a plan that's been in place for me for about seven and a half, eight years."

Still, Barber wouldn't commit to saying his retirement was 100 percent certain.

"It's Week 6 of the NFL season, so I won't say that," he said at the time.

However, he also said there was "nothing" that would change his mind.

Now in his 10th season, the 31-year-old Barber said that he has been banged up more this season than in any previous one and that his passion for the game has waned.

Barber, who has spoken about retiring a couple times in the past year, has a myriad interests off the field. He has worked in television and has discussed possible jobs in finance and philanthropy.

"I have a lot of interests and I've never wanted to be solely defined as a football player," said Barber, who will earn $4.15 million this season. "I wasn't that way in high school, I wasn't that way in college and I won't compromise my ideals to be that way in the National Football League."

Longtime teammate Amani Toomer believes Barber is serious about quitting after this season.

"Knowing Tiki, he is not the type of guy to just say things," Toomer said. "Whatever he says, he means."

Linebacker Brandon Short thinks the talk of Barber's will not distract the team.

"Tiki is an outstanding player and I hope he stays with the Giants and plays forever, so I can watch him play and he can help us win some championships," Short said. "Right now, our focus is the task at hand and that's the 2006 season."

Information from The Associated Press was used in this report.

Bolded for emphasis

Elfdart · Post by **Elfdart** » 2006-10-27 05:11pm

I like Tom Jackson, if only because he got Rush Lardass kicked off ESPN. Gary Myers has been a major league asshole for over 23 years. He used to write for the Fort Worth Star-Telegram. He knew nothing about football back then and less today. Michael Irvin... a cokehead who made death threats against a hooker who testified against him in front of the Dallas County Grand Jury...

According to Smith, when Irvin heard about her grand jury appearance, he had Pedini and another crony take her to an apartment, where they forced her to strip and searched her clothes and every part of her body to see if she was hiding a listening or recording device. Irvin then demanded that she go back to the grand jury and recant her story. Smith said Irvin "kept on telling me that I shouldn't be afraid of the DA's office--I should be afraid of him, because he was more powerful." She also claimed Irvin said that if she double-crossed him, "you'll never see John [Johnnie Hernandez] or the light of day again, I promise you."

Hernandez was a Dallas police officer and the boyfriend of Rachelle Smith, one of the hookers Michael Irvin used to snort coke with (among other things). When he heard about Irvin's threats against Smith, he paid just under $3000 dollars to a "hit man" (actually an undercover DEA agent -oops!) to have Irvin rubbed out.

How the fuck did that asshole get on ESPN? Do they have a quota for drug-addicted scumbags? Michael Irvin is a piece of shit and his presence on ESPN proves one thing: O.J. Simpson wasn't available.

Darth Fanboy · Post by **Darth Fanboy** » 2006-10-27 10:14pm

This is ESPN, they're all about that flashy pseudo journalistic bullshit they put on Sportscenter. Of course Irvin is going to fit in. Even though I think Irvin and other sports-news goofballs are entitled to their opinions and should be allowed to express them on air, they should be doing a lot of backtracking when they get proved horribly wrong.

Second rant:

Bil Parcells is still a good coach, Dallas was awful when he took over and now they're a winning team again. Jerry Jones is the man who fucked this season up along with all the other jackasses who were calling for Tony Romo to start. Dallas should be learning the same lesson their in-state NFL neighbors learned with David Carr, doesn't matter who you have at QB if they get sacked all the time. 13 sacks in 3 games and still nobody is looking at the damn OL.

Here I am defending Parcells and Bledsoe, and I HATE THE FUCKING COWBOYS. The NFL should just hire Bill Parcells as an official turnaround coach. Automatically fire the head coach of any team that wins three or fewer and put Tuna in there for 2-3 seasons until the turnaround is official, then send him on his way. Baseball should do something similar for Ken Macha.

Elfdart · Post by **Elfdart** » 2006-10-27 11:38pm

I think the last straw for Parcells in Dallas was when Jerry Jones told reporters that because of the shouting match between an assistant coach and Terrell Owens, he was going to fine...

...(I'm sure the suspense is just killing you!)...

... the coach. At that point, other players like Terry Glenn went public and said they were tired of Owens' bullshit and Parcells hinted that if Jones followed through, he was out of there.

As for Cowboy fans calling for Romo, you have to understand something: COWBOY FANS ARE FUCKING IMBECILES WHEN IT COMES TO QUARTERBACKS!

When I was a little kid, I visited my uncle in Fort Worth. I saw Roger Staubach's (Hall of Famer, for those who don't know) last game as a pro. He didn't do very well against the Rams' defense and the Rams got a fluke touchdown late in the game and won. Cowboy fans booed him mercilessly and called for backup Danny White. When White became the QB next season, they spent the next several years booing the shit out of him and calling for whichever palooka was on the bench to start in his place. Ditto for Troy Aikman. Now Drew Bledsoe gets jeered off the field. No team in the NFL has had so many first-rate quarterbacks and the fans treat them all like shit. Aikman won three Super Bowls for the team, yet a year after he retired he was booed at a basketball game in Dallas when his image appeared on the jumbotron while he was watching the game.

In a way, I think Parcells did Bledsoe a favor. He won't be getting the shit kicked out of him the rest of the season and will get a chance to play for a real team next year. All while Cowboy fans boo Romo and insist the backup should start. I could easily see Bledsoe catching on elsewhere, since there's nothing wrong with him that a decent OL won't cure.

Havok · Post by **Havok** » 2006-10-29 02:59am

Bah! Like 7-7 last week.

This weeks locks

Week 8
SUN, OCT 29

San Francisco at Chicago Bears

Atlanta at Cincinnati Bengals

Seattle at Kansas City Chiefs

Houston at Tennessee Titans

Arizona at Green Bay Packers

Tampa Bay at NY Giants Giants

Jacksonville at Philadelphia Jaguars

Baltimore at New Orleans Saints

St. Louis at San Diego Rams

Pittsburgh at Oakland Raiders

Indianapolis at Denver Colts

NY Jets at Cleveland Jets

Dallas at Carolina Panthers

MON, OCT 30

New England at Minnesota Vikings

· Bye: Buffalo, Detroit, Miami, Washington

Crossroads Inc. · Post by **Crossroads Inc.** » 2006-10-29 10:35am

havokeff wrote:Arizona at Green Bay Packers

We can only hope mate, we can only hope.

Darth Garden Gnome · Post by **Darth Garden Gnome** » 2006-10-29 04:14pm

So, which loss was more embarrassing: Niners getting absolutely trashed by the Bears, or the favored Eagles getting gashed for 200+ rushing yards by the Jags?

Thank god the Lions aren't playing today. Colts-Broncos incoming.

Darth Fanboy · Post by **Darth Fanboy** » 2006-10-29 04:51pm

Darth Garden Gnome wrote:So, which loss was more embarrassing: Niners getting absolutely trashed by the Bears, or the favored Eagles getting gashed for 200+ rushing yards by the Jags?

Thank god the Lions aren't playing today. Colts-Broncos incoming.

As far as SF vs. CHI, there's nothing expected about that result to be honest. The most surprising thing to me about that game was that Frank Gore managed to pile up so many yards.

There really haven't been any surprises so far this week, maybe Atlanta winning at Cincy but that is kind of stretching for it.

Flagg · Post by **Flagg** » 2006-10-29 06:05pm

Elfdart wrote:I think the last straw for Parcells in Dallas was when Jerry Jones told reporters that because of the shouting match between an assistant coach and Terrell Owens, he was going to fine...

...(I'm sure the suspense is just killing you!)...

... the coach. At that point, other players like Terry Glenn went public and said they were tired of Owens' bullshit and Parcells hinted that if Jones followed through, he was out of there.

Didn't he fine the coach because he was the one that leaked the story to the press?

Darth Garden Gnome · Post by **Darth Garden Gnome** » 2006-10-29 07:16pm

The Steelers... lost... to the Raiders... *dies*

But seriously, Roethlisberger is awful this season, they need to do the same thing Miami is doing with Culpepper and sit him for the rest of the season and let Batch play. The team looked a lot better with Batch at the helm so far.

Reggie Wayne and the Colts offense went totally sickhouse on Denver's ass. Of course, Denver's running game had no trouble shredding Indy's shit too. But in the end it came down to Mr. Clutch's kicking, and he nailed it.

FSTargetDrone · Post by **FSTargetDrone** » 2006-10-29 07:23pm

havokeff wrote:
FSTargetDrone wrote:McNabb got sick too early.

Damnation. CanNOT lose like that, to a team like that.
Yeah, he should wait until the Superbowl again.

No, he can be sick now, after today's performance.

Howedar · Post by **Howedar** » 2006-10-29 07:39pm

It's become clear to me that Roethlisburger sold his soul to the devil to have two good seasons at the beginning, but that the devil has decided it's time to collect.

Darth Garden Gnome · Post by **Darth Garden Gnome** » 2006-10-29 08:27pm

Romo got sacked! Quick, put Bledsoe back in!

Flagg · Post by **Flagg** » 2006-10-29 08:46pm

Howedar wrote:It's become clear to me that Roethlisburger sold his soul to the devil to have two good seasons at the beginning, but that the devil has decided it's time to collect.

That or it's all those head injuries. I mean the guy was a mental midget to begin with.

Metatwaddle · Post by **Metatwaddle** » 2006-10-29 08:51pm

It's days like this when I really wish I weren't an Eagles fan. Goddamn, that was awful.

Elfdart · Post by **Elfdart** » 2006-10-29 10:19pm

Flagg wrote:Didn't he fine the coach because he was the one that leaked the story to the press?

I think Jones was going to, but Parcells said no.

I overslept so I couldn't get in my picks.

Boy, the Eagles' defense looked like they were playing two-hand touch. The Browns' new OC realizes something his predecessor didn't: get the ball to your best players and you have a better chance to win. The Chiefs look like they're back in order and are ready for a run.

I can't remember the last time a team was ahead 41-0 at halftime. The Bears could have scored >80 if they wanted to. What the 49ers needed was a "Game Plan For Losing". This term was coined by Barry Switzer to describe the ideal game plan for when a team is (a) badly overmatched and (b) getting the bitter dogshit kicked out of it. Instead of going all pass-wacky and scrounging for that last pointless score (because 41-10 is so much better than 41-3

), just start calling fullback dives, off-tackle left and off-tackle right. You'll run more time off the clock and get the beating over with and with fewer injuries because those tend to happen most in garbage time.

Why is everyone in Denver calling for Jake Plummer's head? Are they afflicted with Dallasitis?

The Steeler shouldn't have let Big Ben play so soon. So much for this season.

And finally: When Brian Billick was the OC in Minnesota, they set the league record for offense. He goes to Baltimore and the Ravens' offense has sucked out loud for the whole time as he has canned one OC after another, including his firend Jim Fassel. Now he calls the plays and they hang 35 on a very good Saints team. He should have been calling the plays the whole time.

RedImperator · Post by **RedImperator** » 2006-10-29 10:34pm

Fucking Eagles. God damn it.

<sigh> At least Villanova basketball starts soon.