THe Penguin is the smartest man in the DCverse

MKSheppard · Post by **MKSheppard** » 2006-10-26 02:37pm

Nuff Said.

Shroom Man 777 · Post by **Shroom Man 777** » 2006-10-26 03:02pm

Then the Batman appears, and at the prospect of being not murdered horribly but just sent to jail and then released a while later, the Penguin lays an egg and shits himself and pisses all over.

This is why Batman is awesome. He looks all so dark and mean, but we all know he wuvs his villains. He's got a sensitive side, not like that prick Frank. All of Frank's villains either hate him or are dead.

I think Batman's fearsome reputation is built upon the criminal's fear of being smothered to death in bat-hugs, bat-cuddles and bat-kisses, as well as bat-mites

Molyneux · Post by **Molyneux** » 2006-10-26 07:50pm

Shroom Man 777 wrote:Then the Batman appears, and at the prospect of being not murdered horribly but just sent to jail and then released a while later, the Penguin lays an egg and shits himself and pisses all over.

This is why Batman is awesome. He looks all so dark and mean, but we all know he wuvs his villains. He's got a sensitive side, not like that prick Frank. All of Frank's villains either hate him or are dead.

I think Batman's fearsome reputation is built upon the criminal's fear of being smothered to death in bat-hugs, bat-cuddles and bat-kisses, as well as bat-mites

Didn't Batman sever some gang member's spine awhile back?

Battlehymn Republic · Post by **Battlehymn Republic** » 2006-10-27 12:05am

Maybe it was Castle in a costume.

Shroom Man 777 · Post by **Shroom Man 777** » 2006-10-27 05:28am

Molyneux wrote:Didn't Batman sever some gang member's spine awhile back?

And he got his severed, when he could've shot Bane in the face and spared himself the trouble.

With all this ninja shit, can't Batman just sneak behind folks like the Joker and push him down a stairway? The cops won't go after Bats if Joker died that way. Yeah, I know, personal code and morals, but still. He could use his abilities to render the Joker into a cripple. Or break his arms and legs.

Molyneux · Post by **Molyneux** » 2006-10-27 10:08am

Shroom Man 777 wrote:
Molyneux wrote:Didn't Batman sever some gang member's spine awhile back?
And he got his severed, when he could've shot Bane in the face and spared himself the trouble.

With all this ninja shit, can't Batman just sneak behind folks like the Joker and push him down a stairway? The cops won't go after Bats if Joker died that way. Yeah, I know, personal code and morals, but still. He could use his abilities to render the Joker into a cripple. Or break his arms and legs.

Isn't Bane bulletproof?

xammer99 · Post by **xammer99** » 2006-10-27 11:26am

Molyneux wrote:
Shroom Man 777 wrote:
Molyneux wrote:Didn't Batman sever some gang member's spine awhile back?
And he got his severed, when he could've shot Bane in the face and spared himself the trouble.

With all this ninja shit, can't Batman just sneak behind folks like the Joker and push him down a stairway? The cops won't go after Bats if Joker died that way. Yeah, I know, personal code and morals, but still. He could use his abilities to render the Joker into a cripple. Or break his arms and legs.
Isn't Bane bulletproof?

So? Run him over with the batmobile or whip out the bat-rpg or set off the bat-nuke. The point being, batman is a lame hero because he never solves anything. He just temporarily locks up the bad guy and rinses and repeats. He's like a bad doctor that doesn't solve problems but only works on the symptoms so he can stay in business.

The Grim Squeaker · Post by **The Grim Squeaker** » 2006-10-27 11:27am

Molyneux wrote:
Shroom Man 777 wrote:
Molyneux wrote:Didn't Batman sever some gang member's spine awhile back?
And he got his severed, when he could've shot Bane in the face and spared himself the trouble.

With all this ninja shit, can't Batman just sneak behind folks like the Joker and push him down a stairway? The cops won't go after Bats if Joker died that way. Yeah, I know, personal code and morals, but still. He could use his abilities to render the Joker into a cripple. Or break his arms and legs.
Isn't Bane bulletproof?

No he isn't, not even with the Venom pumping.
(And these days he doesn't use Venom anymore, it's all natural muscles).

Shroom Man 777 · Post by **Shroom Man 777** » 2006-10-27 11:59am

Fuck, Bat doesn't even need bullets. Shoot a bat-airtaser-gun at Bane and watch the brute spasm and wet himself and convulse till he bites off his own tongue.

No, I'm not a nice person.

Admiral Valdemar · Post by **Admiral Valdemar** » 2006-10-27 03:09pm

The problem with introducing Castle is he'd go on a rampage that would keep the GPD busy for the next millennium. Can you imagine the body count from Joker's goons alone?

consequences · Post by **consequences** » 2006-10-27 03:39pm

Admiral Valdemar wrote:The problem with introducing Castle is he'd go on a rampage that would keep the GPD busy for the next millennium. Can you imagine the body count from Joker's goons alone?

Going by the absurd criminal body count Gotham City runs up in Hitman, Castle would probably go completely unnoticed. He wouldn't even get a chance to take a break from killing mobsters to go after supervillain goons. Days like Castle's rampage after the desecration of his family are known in the Cauldron as 'Tuesday', for some archaic reason.

Edward Yee · Post by **Edward Yee** » 2006-10-27 03:48pm

No offense, Admiral, but how would the Joker army even remain around enough for Frank to rack up a continuing kill count?

Edward Yee · Post by **Edward Yee** » 2006-10-27 03:49pm

consequences wrote:He wouldn't even get a chance to take a break from killing mobsters to go after supervillain goons. Days like Castle's rampage after the desecration of his family are known in the Cauldron as 'Tuesday', for some archaic reason.

What's all this??

consequences · Post by **consequences** » 2006-10-27 05:56pm

Edward Yee wrote:
consequences wrote:He wouldn't even get a chance to take a break from killing mobsters to go after supervillain goons. Days like Castle's rampage after the desecration of his family are known in the Cauldron as 'Tuesday', for some archaic reason.
What's all this??

Hitman, written by Garth Ennis, set in mainline DC(although it's a far more Vertigo-like title).

During the course of the sixty issues and tie-ins, there's only a dozen or so occasions when massive gunfights breaking the 20-plus fatality mark happen on-screen, quite often on the city streets. Something like 90% of these kills are of the organised criminal element, which never seems to lose steam or suffer from a lack of new recruits.

I'm exagerrating a little in regards to hundred plus body counts being known as Tuesday, but not much. They certainly aren't unknown.

MKSheppard · Post by **MKSheppard** » 2006-10-27 11:13pm

consequences wrote:I'm exagerrating a little in regards to hundred plus body counts being known as Tuesday, but not much. They certainly aren't unknown.

Actually, for Castle, that's SOP. Look at the opening for Punisher MAX; he guns down a entire mansion full of mobsters, then wipes out a biker gang, later on etc etc.

Molyneux · Post by **Molyneux** » 2006-10-28 12:19am

MKSheppard wrote:
consequences wrote:I'm exagerrating a little in regards to hundred plus body counts being known as Tuesday, but not much. They certainly aren't unknown.
Actually, for Castle, that's SOP. Look at the opening for Punisher MAX; he guns down a entire mansion full of mobsters, then wipes out a biker gang, later on etc etc.

And that would be one of the myriad reasons why the Punisher sucks.

MKSheppard · Post by **MKSheppard** » 2006-10-28 02:19am

Molyneux wrote:And that would be one of the myriad reasons why the Punisher sucks.

How can a man whose idea of dealing with dozens of enemies is to do this:

Suck, compared to Batman, whose idea of dealing with dozens of enemies is to use the batarang, and get up close and hand to hand, and defeat them with his l33t uberninja skillz?

Andrew J. · Post by **Andrew J.** » 2006-10-28 09:03am

MKSheppard wrote:How can a man whose idea of dealing with dozens of enemies is to do this:

*snip*

Suck, compared to Batman, whose idea of dealing with dozens of enemies is to use the batarang, and get up close and hand to hand, and defeat them with his l33t uberninja skillz?

Guns are the great equalizer. It's not impressive for someone to win a fight if he has massive firearms advantage.

Molyneux · Post by **Molyneux** » 2006-10-28 09:16am

MKSheppard wrote:
Molyneux wrote:And that would be one of the myriad reasons why the Punisher sucks.

How can a man whose idea of dealing with dozens of enemies is to do this:

*image snipped*

Suck, compared to Batman, whose idea of dealing with dozens of enemies is to use the batarang, and get up close and hand to hand, and defeat them with his l33t uberninja skillz?

Because it's about as heroic as winning a bar fight with the aid of a chainsaw. Hell, Marv from Sin City (the movie, as I have yet to read the comics) was more heroic than the Punisher, and he's no hero.

MadSorcerer · Post by **MadSorcerer** » 2006-10-28 11:14am

Molyneux wrote: Because it's about as heroic as winning a bar fight with the aid of a chainsaw. Hell, Marv from Sin City (the movie, as I have yet to read the comics) was more heroic than the Punisher, and he's no hero.

It may not be "heroic" but it's effective.

General Zod · Post by **General Zod** » 2006-10-28 12:00pm

Molyneux wrote:
MKSheppard wrote:
Molyneux wrote:And that would be one of the myriad reasons why the Punisher sucks.

How can a man whose idea of dealing with dozens of enemies is to do this:

*image snipped*

Suck, compared to Batman, whose idea of dealing with dozens of enemies is to use the batarang, and get up close and hand to hand, and defeat them with his l33t uberninja skillz?
Because it's about as heroic as winning a bar fight with the aid of a chainsaw. Hell, Marv from Sin City (the movie, as I have yet to read the comics) was more heroic than the Punisher, and he's no hero.

Uhm, no shit? The Punisher's never really been protrayed as a hero. He might stop to help someone out along the way, but the main reason he goes after criminals is because he enjoys it. They've flat out said as much in at least one of his issues.

MKSheppard · Post by **MKSheppard** » 2006-10-28 12:12pm

Molyneux wrote:Because it's about as heroic as winning a bar fight with the aid of a chainsaw.

To paraphrase Ultimate Captain America:

"Winning is the only thing that counts."

It's not my fault that batman has a sadomachoist desire to be brutally beat up and brutally beat up other people every night in hand-to-hand combat.

And it's far more realistic that using uber l33t ninja skillz.

The Grim Squeaker · Post by **The Grim Squeaker** » 2006-10-28 12:33pm

MKSheppard wrote: And it's far more realistic that using uber l33t ninja skillz.

You mean like Daredevil does, every time he beats the shit out of Frank?

.

It may not be "heroic" but it's effective.

So would be executing anyone suspected - You'd save the problems of the expensive legal system and cut out any criminals escaping.
(Wank about Frank never killing anyone innocent aside).

Eleas · Post by **Eleas** » 2006-10-28 12:47pm

MKSheppard wrote:To paraphrase Ultimate Captain America:

"Winning is the only thing that counts."

It's not my fault that batman has a sadomachoist desire to be brutally beat up and brutally beat up other people every night in hand-to-hand combat.

And it's far more realistic that using uber l33t ninja skillz.

Yanno, I've just recently begun watching Supernatural. The brothers there are accomplished hand to hand fighters, and not just the stylized wushu bullshit common to superheroes; the fights kinda look like a slightly watered down version of The Bourne Identity. So when the shit hits the fan, do they wade in, trusting in their unarmed martial arts? Hell no. They, unlike Batman, do the sensible thing and use equalizers. Guns, axes, whatever gets the job done.

Post by **The Yosemite Bear** » 2006-10-28 02:07pm

I wonder how many innocent by standers frank kills?

hell one time someone even mind fucked him so bad he killed jaywalkers and litterbugs.

sure the glaring existance of a rogues gallery beyond the ones that seriously outclass the hero is a failure on the traditional hero. I mean my favorite bat villians are a theif, and a genocidal mastermind. (and his lovely daughters)

now the joker just has no character growth, hell the joker has no character. Riddler, cobbblepot jsut meh.

I bet frank could never stand a chance against someone like Hunter Rose, or John Sunlight.