"The Last Bastion" part 2 ~ Now Online!

Darth Servo · Post by **Darth Servo** » 2006-11-18 01:39am

Elfdart wrote:I just realized something:

Darkstar is going to try to avenge my death!

OK, now you lost me.

EnterpriseSovereign · Post by **EnterpriseSovereign** » 2006-11-18 10:26am

Wyrm wrote:I hate Captain Anderson already. I'm not much of a fan of the underdog getting its ass kicked, but Scooter deserves to lose, all the while ranting about how he must school the ISD about the superior Treknology.

In the interest of karma, however, I'd like to see the other two saps... er, the captains of the other two ships be able to placate the Imperial captain without too much damage.

That gives me an idea. I had intended this to be very short, but had too much fun writing it. I’m guessing I’m tilting the figures in Trek’s favour somewhat, but what the hell. Assuming RSA stays in command without the CMO inexplicably relieving him of duty, he has his ship facing off against an ISD. After both ships tell the other to surrender and neither of them doing so (though the Fed first officer was trying to tell his captain that it may not be the best course of action without tipping off the imperials), communication is severed.

Then, RSA says "give them a warning shot, phasers at minimal power, 200m to their left. Show them what they're dealing with"
Tactical officer-who-should-have-promoted-long-ago says "sir, for a warning shot to work, you don't fire a padded shaft 200m to their left, you fire a steel tip into their leg!"
RSA "just shut up and fire!"

Imperials, seeing this, get the idea and fire a couple of LTLs at the ship, only they don't miss.

Fed helm officer: "Sir! Shields down to 87%!"
RSA: "you can't be reading the display correctly. We barely felt anything!"
First officer: *mutters something about inertial dampeners and structural integrity fields*
RSA: "very well, fire a phaser blast at their weapons. Try not to hurt them, mind"
Tactical officer: "No effect, sir"
RSA: "Don't give me that, you must have missed or something, how else could they have survived?"
Helm officer: "Captain, with all due respect, he didn't miss"
RSA: "I'll pretend you didn't say that"

Imperials are sitting there, their shields shrugging off the negligible damage.
One officer says to the captain: "Are they going to try to fight?"
Imperial captain: "I hope so. This is getting boring. Let's make things more interesting. Fire a couple of ion cannon bursts at them, see if they wake up to reality at all"
Imperial gunner: "Yes, sir!"

*Blast strikes the ship, causing it to shake less than gently*
Tactical officer: "Sir, our shields are down!"
RSA: "What the hell did you do? I didn't ask you to drop shields!"
T.O.: "I did nothing, they knocked out our shields!"
RSA: "Impossible!"
Science officer: "Actually sir, given the firepower of that ship, it's well within their capabilities"
RSA: "I'm done with toying with them, raise shields, fire phasers and quantum torpedoes. Time to put them out of their misery!"
T.O.: "Their shields are holding!"
RSA: "your scanners must be malfunctioning! No Imperial vessel can withstand that kind of firepower!"
T.O.: "they just did!"

Imperial captain: "Ahh, they have some spirit, after all. Fire a couple of MTLs at them; see if they'll come to their senses!"
Imperial gunner: "Sir, you think they will survive?"
Imperial captain: "only one way to find out"

*ship takes a massive impact. Everyone is thrown to the ground*
Engineering officer: "Sir, we have multiple hull breaches, main power is offline, shields, weapons and propulsion are all gone"
RSA: "Helm, what the hell did we hit?"
Helm officer: "It wasn't me; more of a case of what hit us!"
T.O.: "Screw this, I've had enough" *pulls out phaser*
First officer: "hail the Imperial ship!"
RSA: "what the hell for?!"

Imperial officer: "Sir, they are hailing us!"
Imperial captain: "Let's hear what they have to say. Put them through."
*Image appears on screen*
Imperial captain: "Are you going to surrender before we blow your ship to hell?"
Federation first officer: "Sorry about all this, our captain thought it would be a peachy idea to attack your ship in a pissing contest. Would you consider letting us go if we turn him over to you?"
RSA: "What the shit?! I didn't agree to this!"
F.O. (to Imperial captain) "One moment, please"
Imperial captain (Struggling to keep a straight face) "by all means, take as long as you need"
F.O. (to RSA) "Shut the fuck up!" *stuns RSA* "fucking idiot. That's better. Only a shame I didn't kill him for his incompetence; if this were a Klingon ship, he'd be Targ food by now" *turns to viewscreen* "So, how about it?"

*Imperials are rolling around laughing by this time* Imperial captain: "How about what? Oh sure, just before you do, be sure to put him in a straight jacket first"
F.O. "with pleasure"
Imperial captain: "and one more thing. Next time one of your captains decides to have a go, tell him to come back when he's increased his fleet's size, firepower, speed, just about everything a few orders of magnitude. We're in no hurry"
F.O. (grimly) “Indeed”

Bounty · Post by **Bounty** » 2006-11-18 03:01pm

Darth Servo wrote:
Elfdart wrote:I just realized something:

Darkstar is going to try to avenge my death!

OK, now you lost me.

Elfdart voiced the unfortunate captain who ended up as interstellar flotsam in part I. Captain Anderson is going to investigate the matter. Do you see where this is going?

Darth Servo · Post by **Darth Servo** » 2006-11-18 04:09pm

Bounty wrote:
Darth Servo wrote:
Elfdart wrote:I just realized something:

Darkstar is going to try to avenge my death!

OK, now you lost me.
Elfdart voiced the unfortunate captain who ended up as interstellar flotsam in part I. Captain Anderson is going to investigate the matter. Do you see where this is going?

Ah. Got it.

Lord Poe · Post by **Lord Poe** » 2006-11-19 08:37am

WooHoo! More hate for part 2!

Link Long And Prosper

MrPoe said:
doktormerkwurdigliebe said:i was surprised by part 2. after seeing part 1, your web page, and your trailer, and hearing you speak about the making of your "film" i didnt think that there is any way this could suck so much i would actually be surprised about how much it sucked.
Thank you, resident spambot. Maybe someday when you grow up, you'll be able to afford a "shift" key in order to perform something that is apparently alien to you: capitalization.

i was wrong. it sucked even worse than i expected, fromteh fleet officer stating her desireto be a stripper,
Actually, she's the Captain of the USS Heritage, but then you'd know that if were paying attention.

to the really bad sequence of diplomacy thru your mama jokes, this effort was bad, really bad, and among the worstpiece of shit i have ever seen in a fan film.
Sorry it wasn't to your liking. But then again it doesn't seem grammar is to your liking, either.

not worth wathcing. i wont ever click a link to it again.
I'd be curious as to why you would click the link again, seeing as you didn't like it the first time...

Darth Servo · Post by **Darth Servo** » 2006-11-19 09:15pm

I'm surprised that the idiot took offense to the "diplomatic exchange" since its QUITE reminiscent of a lot of the bullshit starfleet crews go through on the show.

Batman · Post by **Batman** » 2006-11-19 09:23pm

Other than the question why a different culture would develop OUR kind of 'your mom' jokes (and for all we know they ARE using our kind for whatever reason) how is this any more idiotic than 'Darmok's 'our language works exlusively by metaphors' garbage?
Incidentally, nice work, Wayne.

Patrick Degan · Post by **Patrick Degan** » 2006-11-19 11:25pm

Darth Servo wrote:I'm surprised that the idiot took offense to the "diplomatic exchange" since its QUITE reminiscent of a lot of the bullshit starfleet crews go through on the show.

I mean, really, there were I think two seventh season TNG episodes involving even sillier diplomatic rituals for Picard and co. to work themselves through.

Darth Servo · Post by **Darth Servo** » 2006-11-21 12:09am

Patrick Degan wrote:
Darth Servo wrote:I'm surprised that the idiot took offense to the "diplomatic exchange" since its QUITE reminiscent of a lot of the bullshit starfleet crews go through on the show.
I mean, really, there were I think two seventh season TNG episodes involving even sillier diplomatic rituals for Picard and co. to work themselves through.

Let's see.

Liaisons has aliens who see nothing wrong with kidnapping just to experience human emotions.

Attached: Aliens kidnap and then create a neural connection between Picard and Crusher for no apparent reason. Meanwhile Riker has to go through the usual crap with the ambassadors.

Homeward: The Prime Directive rears its ugly head and we get to sit through all the "cultural richness" of yet another one-note Trek alien species one of whom actually DIED just from learning there was more to the universe than their little isolated tribe.

Journey's End: the traveler returns and we get to hear all about another wonderful culture. Federation citizens who would rather live under the Cardassian dictatorship than leave their current home.

Emergence: the crew of the E-D have to put up with their computer gaining sentience.

Preemptive Strike: the crew of the E-D have to help the Cardies hunt down the Maquis.

Others not involving diplomatic exchanges but still pretty retarded
Phantasms: Data having nightmares.

Masks: Data gets POSSESSED and he and Picard have to wade through another ridiculous Alien ritual.

Dark Page: Oh goody, an entire episode just to see what a nut Lwaxana Troi is. Like we didn't already know that.

Force of Nature: The idiocy of the "Federation Science Council" is revealed.

Sub Rosa: Oh joy, a wonderride through Dr Crusher's wanna-be love life with a ghos...er um I mean "anaphasic lifeform."

Eye of the Beholder: Deanna goes crazy...so nothing changes really.

DITL points out that while searching the database for some MAN, Deanna had narrowed the search to people who had been at Utopia Planitia and on the ship itself but did NOT think to exclude females as some of the people the computer brings up are women.

Genesis: assrapes the entire theory of evolution.

Firstborn: Alexander will regret not embracing his "Klingon Heritage" nonsense.

Ted C · Post by **Ted C** » 2006-11-21 09:06am

How can we forget the stupid greeting ritual from "The Big Goodbye".

The "counting coup" and ritual dueling from "Code of Honor".

The ridiculous Starfleet entrance tests in "Coming of Age".

Sucking up to the dominatrixes in "Angel One".

The totally unmilitary "military exercise" from "Peak Performance".

Stupid Betazoid ceremonies in "Menage a Trois".

The Klingon pain-stick ritual from "The Icarus Factor".

The infamous "Darmok" ritual.

Wayne's "Test of Strength" fits right into the pattern.

Mange · Post by **Mange** » 2006-11-21 11:28am

And let's not forget the silliness which went on in the beginning of Insurrection (the banquet where Picard performs the greeting ritual before a regent or whatever).

Bounty · Post by **Bounty** » 2006-11-21 12:18pm

Mange wrote:And let's not forget the silliness which went on in the beginning of Insurrection (the banquet where Picard performs the greeting ritual before a regent or whatever).

What's the problem with that, exactly?

Mange · Post by **Mange** » 2006-11-21 01:27pm

Bounty wrote:
Mange wrote:And let's not forget the silliness which went on in the beginning of Insurrection (the banquet where Picard performs the greeting ritual before a regent or whatever).
What's the problem with that, exactly?

Why don't you ask Darth Servo and Ted C the same question? Seriously, it's embarrassing: The horrible make-up, the silliness of the woof, woof dialogue and the ceremony when the regent or whatever she was called, placed the headpiece on Picard's head.

Setzer · Post by **Setzer** » 2006-11-24 07:34am

BTW, people tell me I sound like a robot. Are you still holding auditions, Poe?

Lord Poe · Post by **Lord Poe** » 2006-11-24 02:46pm

Setzer wrote:BTW, people tell me I sound like a robot. Are you still holding auditions, Poe?

Nope, I'm done with that for this project!

Lord Poe · Post by **Lord Poe** » 2006-11-24 02:59pm

Here's a couple new shots of the Star Destroyer crew which will be seen in Part 3:

From l-r: Lieutenant, Captain Neral, Command Master Chief

From l-r: Engineering Chief Kistun, Tech Lieutenant

From l-r: Tech Lieutenant, Tech Ensign

EnterpriseSovereign · Post by **EnterpriseSovereign** » 2006-11-24 06:33pm

Forgive my ignorance, what's with the Dollar values and stuff in the top left corner?

Lord Poe · Post by **Lord Poe** » 2006-11-24 09:01pm

EnterpriseSovereign wrote:Forgive my ignorance, what's with the Dollar values and stuff in the top left corner?

That's from "The Movies" game.

Mange · Post by **Mange** » 2006-11-25 03:09am

Oh, it's that guy again... He looks like he's ready to kick some fandabonian butt (although it's probably redshirt butt).

Lord Poe · Post by **Lord Poe** » 2006-11-25 04:33am

Mange wrote:Oh, it's that guy again... He looks like he's ready to kick some fandabonian butt (although it's probably redshirt butt).

You'll notice that his jumpsuit is in disarray, dirty, his rank badge chipped and broken. He's been working for two days trying to get the engines and weapons fixed. And he's very irritable and high strung!

HSRTG · Post by **HSRTG** » 2006-11-25 05:11pm

he's very irritable and high strung!

Probably because his jumpsuit is giving him a mean wedgie. Seriously, take a good look at picture #1!

Darth Servo · Post by **Darth Servo** » 2006-11-26 08:07pm

HSRTG wrote:
he's very irritable and high strung!
Probably because his jumpsuit is giving him a mean wedgie. Seriously, take a good look at picture #1!

So THATS why the ISD blew up the USS Compliance

Lord Poe · Post by **Lord Poe** » 2006-11-26 08:10pm

Darth Servo wrote:
HSRTG wrote:
he's very irritable and high strung!
Probably because his jumpsuit is giving him a mean wedgie. Seriously, take a good look at picture #1!
So THATS why the ISD blew up the USS Compliance

Getting warmer!

Post by **Surlethe** » 2006-11-26 08:59pm

Lord Poe wrote:Getting warmer!

It wouldn't be because I'm putting this here to make it look like I know what's going to happen and actually trick people into thinking I do, until they look at this and think that I don't, when in reality, I do know what's going to happen!, would it?

Lord Poe · Post by **Lord Poe** » 2006-11-26 09:10pm

Surlethe wrote:
Lord Poe wrote:Getting warmer!
It wouldn't be because I'm putting this here to make it look like I know what's going to happen and actually trick people into thinking I do, until they look at this and think that I don't, when in reality, I do know what's going to happen!, would it?

Holy crap, you guessed it!!!