Horrible crossover fan-fics

irishmick79 · Post by **irishmick79** » 2006-11-22 09:59pm

They're out there...lurking....on web servers just waiting to pounce on you when you least expect it. One minute you're reading an interesting bit of fanfic about Anakin Skywalker and the next....WHAM! You're blankly staring into a horrid pit of vipers featuring 7 of 9 going dominatrix on Yoda. What are your worst experiences with crossover fanfiction? I'm sure there's some terrible stuff out there.

Darth Yoshi · Post by **Darth Yoshi** » 2006-11-22 10:05pm

Evangelion/Voyager crossover. Post-3I Earth, and Shinji, Asuka, Shigeru, and Maya get found by Voyager on their way home. It came out of nowhere.

Trogdor · Post by **Trogdor** » 2006-11-22 10:51pm

I ran into a DBZ/SW crossover once, I think it was on fanfix.com, and read it out of morbid curiosity. It involved an alternate universe where the Saiyans didn't exist, so Bulma married Yamcha and had a daughter named Panty, who was a Jedi for...some reason and went to the normal DBZ-verse somehow or another. Goku and the gang were planning to kill Palps but the author apparently got lazy, as the fic hadn't been updated in years.

I once heard that a fic titled "The Rangers of NIMH," a Rescue Rangers/Rats of NIMH fic, has been deemed the worse crossover ever by everyone who's ever read it, but I've never bothered to hunt it down myself.

RedImperator · Post by **RedImperator** » 2006-11-22 11:01pm

Fortunately, most terrible crossovers (indeed, most terrible unpublished fiction of any kind) gives itself away right off the bat with lousy mechanics--spelling, grammar, punctuation. Since I've made it a longstanding policy not to invest my time in reading something if the author plainly wasn't willing to invest the time to do it right, I've avoided most horrible fanfiction.

Stark · Post by **Stark** » 2006-11-23 12:33am

I fear fanfiction, and won't even approach any unless it's been recommended by a human being (ie, not the internet). From what little fanfiction I've read, it's just not worth the risk: the only fanfiction I can think off the top of my head didn't suck sheep dick is Red's and Mike's.

RedImperator · Post by **RedImperator** » 2006-11-23 12:40am

Stark wrote:I fear fanfiction, and won't even approach any unless it's been recommended by a human being (ie, not the internet). From what little fanfiction I've read, it's just not worth the risk: the only fanfiction I can think off the top of my head didn't suck sheep dick is Red's and Mike's.

I can't think of a stronger endorsement.

Stark · Post by **Stark** » 2006-11-23 12:42am

It's even harder for you to write, as you don't have established characters, settings and themes. So THERE! Who's a hater NOW?

Ford Prefect · Post by **Ford Prefect** » 2006-11-23 01:43am

Put quite simply, Portal was the worst fanfic I've ever read. Either that or that sickening torture fic of the Voyager crew. I mean, wow.

thejester · Post by **thejester** » 2006-11-23 01:48am

Trogdor wrote:I once heard that a fic titled "The Rangers of NIMH," a Rescue Rangers/Rats of NIMH fic, has been deemed the worse crossover ever by everyone who's ever read it, but I've never bothered to hunt it down myself.

It's pretty fucking horrible.

Instant Sunrise · Post by **Instant Sunrise** » 2006-11-23 03:33am

With crossovers, it generally isn't the idea or concept that is bad, it's in the execution. I've seen some pretty weird crossover ideas be pulled off extremely well. And crossovers that had a farily simple premise be pulled off absolutely terribly.

The most god-awful crossover fic I've ever read period was a Total Annihilation/WW2 crossover. It was poor execution of a difficult premise.

With the right execution, ever the fucking weird can seem normal, like so:

Papa Smurf stared across the colossal chamber, his stare firing daggers at any unfortunate soul who dared cross him. His mind was burning in rage at this imposter. "How DARE that man call himself 'The God Emperor of Mankind'." With one swift move, Papa Smurf had crossed the chamber and brought his small and fast fist to level with the impostor's face. Delivering the first of many might blows to this so-called 'Emperor'.

thejester · Post by **thejester** » 2006-11-23 04:21am

skyman8081 wrote:The most god-awful crossover fic I've ever read period was a Total Annihilation/WW2 crossover. It was poor execution of a difficult premise.

Been awhile since I read it, but it struck me as alright popcorn fare.

darthdavid · Post by **darthdavid** » 2006-11-23 05:12am

I've read some pretty terrible stuff over the years. The ones I hate the most are the stealthy ones. They start off OK and by the time you realize how terrible, wanked out and fucked up they really are you've read a huge amount and are left going, WHY IN HELL DID I JUST READ THIS?

Singular Quartet · Post by **Singular Quartet** » 2006-11-23 09:04am

Hmm... bad crossovers? Yes, I've seen more than a couple, but I've banished their names from my memories.

I recall good fiction, but not bad fiction. Except for my own. But that's because it's terrible.

Post by **Steve** » 2006-11-23 11:40am

Ford Prefect wrote:Either that or that sickening torture fic of the Voyager crew. I mean, wow.

..................

Hmm, on top of Portal, I'd like to add "Star Destroyer Rampant".

And some of my own writings from over six years ago. So terrible I dare not speak of them. I was.... nuts about crossovers. VERY nuts.

Post by **NecronLord** » 2006-11-23 11:47am

Steve wrote:
Ford Prefect wrote:Either that or that sickening torture fic of the Voyager crew. I mean, wow.

..................

He probaly means one of Lt Hitman's gore fests. Though I did a daleks-torment-Janeway-horribly scene once.

Sidewinder · Post by **Sidewinder** » 2006-11-23 07:30pm

Hell, I've written some very bad fan fiction myself, so I can forgive a lot of the people who write very bad fan fiction, as long as they use check their spelling and grammar.

For something as unintelligible as "Artemis's lover", I just don't bother reading it. That saves me a lot of headaches.

phongn · Post by **phongn** » 2006-11-23 11:28pm

Sidewinder wrote:For something as unintelligible as "Artemis's lover", I just don't bother reading it. That saves me a lot of headaches.

I was wondering how long it'd take until AL was posted though it really isn't the worst fanfic on the 'net.

Singular Quartet · Post by **Singular Quartet** » 2006-11-23 11:31pm

phongn wrote:
Sidewinder wrote:For something as unintelligible as "Artemis's lover", I just don't bother reading it. That saves me a lot of headaches.
I was wondering how long it'd take until AL was posted though it really isn't the worst fanfic on the 'net.

Human Hermaphrode/Cat porn is not the worst fanfic on the net?

Ah, yes, that's right... There are always far worse things.

Post by **Steve** » 2006-11-23 11:57pm

Singular Quartet wrote:
phongn wrote:
Sidewinder wrote:For something as unintelligible as "Artemis's lover", I just don't bother reading it. That saves me a lot of headaches.
I was wondering how long it'd take until AL was posted though it really isn't the worst fanfic on the 'net.
Human Hermaphrode/Cat porn is not the worst fanfic on the net?

Ah, yes, that's right... There are always far worse things.

Yes. Like Gor fanfics.

Especially Gor crossover fanfics that horribly distort established female characters from other universes, like, say, Wonder Woman.

Rye · Post by **Rye** » 2006-11-23 11:58pm

Stark wrote:I fear fanfiction, and won't even approach any unless it's been recommended by a human being (ie, not the internet). From what little fanfiction I've read, it's just not worth the risk: the only fanfiction I can think off the top of my head didn't suck sheep dick is Red's and Mike's.

I hope this just means you haven't read mine...

Anyway, the worst one I've seen was that Prisoner/Dr Who crossover one from some guy that was briefly on the forum. It was posted on his site, he had no concept of making it readable and he went out of his way to be verbose rather than accessible or even descriptive.

It's a horrible combination when you have a fanfic with really just nonsensical conversations and situations described in the worst attempt at florid crap ever devised. Necronlord I remember seemed to really hate the guy. Ahhhh, internets.

Ford Prefect · Post by **Ford Prefect** » 2006-11-24 12:12am

Steve wrote: ..................

I honestly can't remember who wrote it, but it was just stupid. The story served no purpose but to horifically torture Voyager characters. I mean, I don't shy away from horrific violence or anything, but who writes a cross-over for the specific purpose of just subjecting characters to violent torture? Especially when the reasoning for it was flawed, and the evil character had a name like Darth Gladius.

It didn't even have a plot. It was just sick.

Hmm, on top of Portal, I'd like to add "Star Destroyer Rampant".

Thankfully I haven't read that, because it's apparently pretty damn masturbatory.

The Grim Squeaker · Post by **The Grim Squeaker** » 2006-11-24 12:26am

"Groan" oh the memories of hunting through FF.net for interesting stuff, the horror, the horror!.

I learned what slash meant then (While still 11) and what Zerg slash was among other things. Still I haven't read any fan fics barring 2 good ones I found back in the day and fics here on sd.net (Though not all) and fics recommended by people here.

And this thread reminds again why I need to find reviewers, since out of my 9 written tales so far, 8 are crossovers. (Though I have managed to find someone in RL to read one of them, but its someone I know and she'll be primarily helping me with grammar).
Please, tell me if I end up writing such horrors, I won't know alone, K

Sidewinder · Post by **Sidewinder** » 2006-11-24 08:14pm

DEATH wrote:I learned what slash meant then (While still 11) and what Zerg slash was among other things.

?!?!?!

Zerg slash? People write fan fics about the Zerg having sex?! With what I'm assuming are human or Protoss characters?!?!

And I thought the average tentacle rape fan fic was bad. Silly me; I should've known there are worse perverts out there.

Stark · Post by **Stark** » 2006-11-24 08:20pm

Rye wrote:
Stark wrote:I fear fanfiction, and won't even approach any unless it's been recommended by a human being (ie, not the internet). From what little fanfiction I've read, it's just not worth the risk: the only fanfiction I can think off the top of my head didn't suck sheep dick is Red's and Mike's.
I hope this just means you haven't read mine...

No, you're safe. My fear of fanfiction means I've only read perhaps two of the fics on this site. I only read Red's because it wasn't a crossover, and then it turned out to be pretty cool. When he releases his hardcover edition I'll be buying one.

LordShaithis · Post by **LordShaithis** » 2006-11-25 12:00am

Ford Prefect wrote:I honestly can't remember who wrote it, but it was just stupid. The story served no purpose but to horifically torture Voyager characters. I mean, I don't shy away from horrific violence or anything, but who writes a cross-over for the specific purpose of just subjecting characters to violent torture? Especially when the reasoning for it was flawed, and the evil character had a name like Darth Gladius.

It didn't even have a plot. It was just sick.

It was "Nobody Gets Out Alive" by the inimitable Chuck Sonnenburg, and it was awesome. I think it was some sort of catharsis for Chuck.

"They all died... of gangrene!"