Ever get caught jerking off?

Einhander Sn0m4n · Post by **Einhander Sn0m4n** » 2002-12-29 03:37am

Darth Wong wrote:
SirNitram wrote:Good enough place to ask as any, on THIS board...

Is something seriously, horribly wrong with a guy if he doesn't jerk off? I mean, it works, this has been repeatedly tested and verified, I just don't jerk off. Don't feel the urge to, and even when I try it don't work(Guess I need a woman's touch..).
You don't jerk off?

Somebody get this man some porno!!!

STAT!!

Sokar · Post by **Sokar** » 2002-12-29 03:40am

That qualifies as different, but no bad or anythng , but I'll go with Lord Wong on this, 200cc'c of Lesbian Porno for this man, STAT!!

Out of curiosity , do you get down with the ladies ? I mean if your getting all to poo-nanny you can handle then the no whacking thing is understandable.....

SirNitram · Post by **SirNitram** » 2002-12-29 03:40am

Darth Wong wrote:
SirNitram wrote:Good enough place to ask as any, on THIS board...

Is something seriously, horribly wrong with a guy if he doesn't jerk off? I mean, it works, this has been repeatedly tested and verified, I just don't jerk off. Don't feel the urge to, and even when I try it don't work(Guess I need a woman's touch..).
You don't jerk off?

Somebody get this man some porno!!!

*holds up several gigs of it in hard disks*

Gets the man at attention, but the geyser don't blow unless there's a woman working the pumps...

And I never get blue balls. Which is a big plus.

Post by **The Yosemite Bear** » 2002-12-29 03:42am

I've had a roomate or two come home from work early and start to unlock the door.....

Galvatron · Post by **Galvatron** » 2002-12-29 03:42am

SirNitram wrote:Is something seriously, horribly wrong with a guy if he doesn't jerk off?

Yes.

SirNitram · Post by **SirNitram** » 2002-12-29 03:42am

Sokar wrote:That qualifies as different, but no bad or anythng , but I'll go with Lord Wong on this, 200cc'c of Lesbian Porno for this man, STAT!!

Out of curiosity , do you get down with the ladies ? I mean if your getting all to poo-nanny you can handle then the no whacking thing is understandable.....

One woman, a few times every week(Not every night, because when you have a 2 hour session, the woman tends to be too sore the next day..). Didn't lose it til I was 18, never felt the need beforehand or afterwards. Strangest damn thing.

But I'll take the porno.

Sokar · Post by **Sokar** » 2002-12-29 03:44am

Wow,Gentlemen, he may actually be the "Man with the Golden Gun", thats not a bad skill there Nitram, Im in personal achy-nut hell if I dont get-off every few days.......

Alex Moon · Post by **Alex Moon** » 2002-12-29 03:47am

Einhander Sn0m4n wrote:
Darth Wong wrote:
SirNitram wrote:Good enough place to ask as any, on THIS board...

Is something seriously, horribly wrong with a guy if he doesn't jerk off? I mean, it works, this has been repeatedly tested and verified, I just don't jerk off. Don't feel the urge to, and even when I try it don't work(Guess I need a woman's touch..).
You don't jerk off?

Somebody get this man some porno!!!
STAT!!

WE NEED 20CCs of "Naughty Nurses 9" AND A SHOT OF "Bad Girls in Prison" NOW!

Hurry people, we've got to save this man!

Einhander Sn0m4n · Post by **Einhander Sn0m4n** » 2002-12-29 03:49am

SirNitram wrote:
Darth Wong wrote:
SirNitram wrote:Good enough place to ask as any, on THIS board...

Is something seriously, horribly wrong with a guy if he doesn't jerk off? I mean, it works, this has been repeatedly tested and verified, I just don't jerk off. Don't feel the urge to, and even when I try it don't work(Guess I need a woman's touch..).
You don't jerk off?

Somebody get this man some porno!!!
*holds up several gigs of it in hard disks*

Gets the man at attention, but the geyser don't blow unless there's a woman working the pumps...

And I never get blue balls. Which is a big plus.

You.
Lucky!
BITCH!

I always get blue balls at the drop of a hat.
Go 5 days without wanking it? Blue Balls
Get worked up by Porno and roomy derails my wank by bringing his girls over? Blue Balls.
Boyfriend get me all hot and ready to get fucked by tossing my salad, then get a bad phone call which destroys his sexual mood for the whole fucking night??! BLUE FUCKING BALLS!
Goddess made man with hands for a reason... Thank Goddess in all Her Non-Christian wisdom!

Icehawk · Post by **Icehawk** » 2002-12-29 04:06am

Posted by: Alex Moon

It wasn't too terribly embaressing. Once I realized that she was gone, I loaded up the video again and finished what I'd started. No sense in wasting a perfectly good hard-on. Plus, it accomplished what years of shouting at her didn't: it got mom to actually knock and then wait for me to answer before entering my room.

I pretty much had the same thing with my mom. She walked in my room unexpectedly while I was wackin it and she just quickly turned around, appologized and walked out. After that we never had any problems.

Hehe I also had a particularily funny moment once when my younger sister just waltzed in on me right as I was blowing a huge load into the garbage bin beside my bed.

She just went "Ewww God!" and ran right out. Wouldda been a pure Kodak moment if you could have caught me on camera just as I jerked my head over to face the doorway.

Sienthal · Post by **Sienthal** » 2002-12-29 04:10am

Got caught by my childhood friend once. Ironically, she was the object of my fantasy at that moment in time. Unfortunately, it was because she was moving away that she came over. So, we had a nice goodbye, and the incident was never mentioned during it.

I sometimes wonder what would've happened if she hadn't moved away.

Post by **Dalton** » 2002-12-29 05:03am

Never got caught. Came close one or two times when I accidentally left my door slightly open...but never got caught. I wouldn't expect any of my family to comment much on it (except maybe my grandmother) since they're all relatively normal and know how the world works. Which reminds me of another story...about the time my grandmother got scared by my sisters "massager" when it turned itself on by accident and fell on her bedroom floor...I'll end it there. She might see this

Post by **Vympel** » 2002-12-29 05:43am

95% of men admit to jerking off. The other 5% are liars

However I think there is something wrong with someone if they do jerk off like it's some sort of regular thing- as in "oh look it's time for my 3 o'clock wank".

Joe Momma · Post by **Joe Momma** » 2002-12-29 07:36am

Never got caught, but I knew a guy who used to set himself up to get caught by his girlfriends as a sort of litmus test.

Most freaked out. A few joined in. One just laughed.

Guess which one he's happily married to.

-- Joe Momma

...delighted and relieved to be an age group where most of the women I date have gotten over any embarrassment/squeamishness about sex and bodily functions.

Eleas · Post by **Eleas** » 2002-12-29 10:10am

Darth Wong wrote:The thread title says it all. Has anyone ever been caught? I haven't, but I've always wondered if those "American pie" embarrassment scenarios have ever happened to anyone in real life.

Caught by girlfriend?

Ted · Post by **Ted** » 2002-12-29 01:00pm

Eleas wrote:
Darth Wong wrote:The thread title says it all. Has anyone ever been caught? I haven't, but I've always wondered if those "American pie" embarrassment scenarios have ever happened to anyone in real life.
Caught by girlfriend?

Being caught by GF usually results in either a blowjob or sex.

Eleas · Post by **Eleas** » 2002-12-29 01:06pm

Ted wrote:
Eleas wrote:
Darth Wong wrote:The thread title says it all. Has anyone ever been caught? I haven't, but I've always wondered if those "American pie" embarrassment scenarios have ever happened to anyone in real life.
Caught by girlfriend?
Being caught by GF usually results in either a blowjob or sex.

Exactly.

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi · Post by **Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi** » 2002-12-29 01:22pm

No, I haven't been caught yet. Anyone in the room not looking at me passes it off as my legs moving, and I think sexy thoughts instead of looking at anything.

Durandal · Post by **Durandal** » 2002-12-29 01:24pm

I've had a few walk-ins, but I'm extremely fast with zipping up my pants, so no one has ever gotten away with more than a nagging suspicion, and if they have, they never mentioned it.

Vympel wrote:95% of men admit to jerking off. The other 5% are liars

Wrong. 90% of men masturbate. The other 10% don't have arms.
60% of women masturbate. The other 40% expect you to believe it takes that long to take a bath.

Tosho · Post by **Tosho** » 2002-12-29 01:26pm

Einhander Sn0m4n wrote:
Pablo Sanchez wrote:
Einhander Sn0m4n wrote:Have casual sex. These guys are usually roommates who live with me anyway. Weed and Beer helps in case of "straight" boys (Straight guys are gayer than you could possibly believe!)
I think I draw the line when it comes to taking advantage of roommates in altered states. It just sounds a bit immoral.
Hey they approach me! Besides, I find that getting taken advantage of while on a beer/marijuana hack is quite fun!!!!

And what's their opinion of being taken advantage of?

Ted · Post by **Ted** » 2002-12-29 01:26pm

Durandal wrote:
Vympel wrote:95% of men admit to jerking off. The other 5% are liars
Wrong. 90% of men masturbate. The other 10% don't have arms.
60% of women masturbate. The other 40% expect you to believe it takes that long to take a bath.

FUQ it!!!

Eleas · Post by **Eleas** » 2002-12-29 01:27pm

Ted wrote:
Durandal wrote:
Vympel wrote:95% of men admit to jerking off. The other 5% are liars
Wrong. 90% of men masturbate. The other 10% don't have arms.
60% of women masturbate. The other 40% expect you to believe it takes that long to take a bath.
FUQ it!!!

Seconded, it's on the way to Dalton as we speak.

Pablo Sanchez · Post by **Pablo Sanchez** » 2002-12-29 01:38pm

Well, I think it needs to be remembered that the average man has a sex-related thought every 12 seconds. If anything, you should masturbate to clear your head for a few minutes.

Alex Moon · Post by **Alex Moon** » 2002-12-29 01:41pm

Ted wrote:
Eleas wrote:
Darth Wong wrote:The thread title says it all. Has anyone ever been caught? I haven't, but I've always wondered if those "American pie" embarrassment scenarios have ever happened to anyone in real life.
Caught by girlfriend?
Being caught by GF usually results in either a blowjob or sex.

Not always.

http://www.somethingpositive.net/sp06122002.html

aerius · Post by **aerius** » 2002-12-29 01:44pm

I take some basic security measures to prevent being caught, stuff like closing and locking the door and proplerly disposing of the evidence. Never been caught yet.

StarDestroyer.Net BBS

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