USA vs Mordor, with a twist

[Morning Star]

Sauron has the same chance of subverting Earth as Saddam Hussein does: zero. He is a known quantity in this scenario (everyone on Earth knows who he is, where he is, and that they don't like him), and he is monstrously outpowered by his foes. It's hard to subvert someone when you already overtly tried to conquer him; he won't exactly be letting his guard down.

And yes, he might have minions, but so does Saddam. I still don't see him becoming world dictator.

I didn't set the equation as becoming dictator I think, he only needs to get ahold of the ring. (although the Ring isnt meant to give him victory over Earth either.. maybe that would come later, maybe not.)

His only obstacle to getting the ring was the US.

I guess this is where my original debate bites me in the ass - as you said, I over complicated it

I'm also not entirely sure the WHOLE world neccesarily knows what a quantity he is (no doubt the US distrusts him because of his earlier attack, and probably his allies) but obviously some people aren't wary (or arent worried) about him, whether thats wise or not. Else he owuld not have gotten the "Don't nuke mordor" treaties I specified, nor even gotten hold of ANY technology (or mercenaries or any sort of hired technical assistance or maintenance to help) in this, no matter how flimsy a quantity he acquired.

Like Wong said, he has no chance at justtaking them over...but if he moved slowly, like centuries slowly, then he may be able to move up the ladder of power. But only if he could change to a fair form. Big ugly evil bastard form isn't gonna cut it.

[Morning Star]

I spelled out the limitations on the US side as well. Its not as if the US can launch an armed nuclear attack on him at will. The US is hardly operating in a vaccuum here.

The point is you keep thinking in terms of pure force. Your last statement only proves that. You think he might "use his army" as a diversion...

yes, a diversion so he can get the hell out of there. Sauron would have to realise that no matter how slowly and subtley he moves, he has no chance. Better to use you forces as a distraction so you can try subterfuge instead, IMO.

How the fuck does that work? Launch big attacks that everyone knows can only come from you so that you can try something clever that would naturally work better if no one was alert to you being acitive?

That's about it...but only if he could still change form. Have the US kill the fuck out of your big army. Show yourself at some time in the big ugly form and then never be heard from again, hopefully they'd assume you were dead. Then put on your beautiful face and start a job as a fashion model.

[Darth Wong]

Keep in mind that the Americans already have the Ring in this scenario, and they could simply subject it to a plasma torch and melt it down. No volcano (never mind a dragon's breath) is as hot as a plasma torch.

[Morning Star]

Keep in mind that the Americans already have the Ring in this scenario, and they could simply subject it to a plasma torch and melt it down. No volcano (never mind a dragon's breath) is as hot as a plasma torch.

Or Bush could put it on and be like Kevin Bacon in Hollowman and do whatever he wants...oh, and rule the world. Mwahahaha!

[Connor MacLeod]

Keep in mind that the Americans already have the Ring in this scenario, and they could simply subject it to a plasma torch and melt it down. No volcano (never mind a dragon's breath) is as hot as a plasma torch.

They have the ring, and they know Sauron wants it, even if they dont' quite know why. That doesn't mean they know how to defeat him by destroying it either...

Of course that doesnt mean they couldnt find some other reason to torch it...

And as I already said, even if they can't destroy it for some reason (I'm not going to debate whether they can or can't) - they have more than enougha bility to prevent Sauron from getting it or making use of it.

[Morning Star]

And as I already said, even if they can't destroy it for some reason (I'm not going to debate whether they can or can't) - they have more than enougha bility to prevent Sauron from getting it or making use of it.

That's like number five in the guide to world domination:

5. The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box. The same applies to the object which is my one weakness.

[Darth Wong]

If I had it (and assuming I didn't know what it's for), I would naturally start testing it once I discovered that it was not ordinary gold.

I would start by putting it in a hydraulic press, to see if I can flatten it. If it turns out to be harder than the press plates, I would put case-hardened plates in and try again. If it's harder than those, I would subject it to erosion testing with sandblasting and grinding wheels.

Frankly, I would expect some damage by now, magic or no magic. That's some pretty harsh shit. But if it's still miraculously undamaged, I would be absolutely fascinated by now, as would any engineer. At this point, I would try to determine the melting point of this material ... which is where Sauron's troubles begin.

If the oxy-acetylene torch doesn't work, I graduate to the plasma torch. If that doesn't work, I go for the arc welder. And if that doesn't work, I try mounting it in a targeting bracket and hitting it with industrial cutting lasers. Frankly, any one of these is more of a thermal load than the interior of any volcano, so it shouldn't survive this round of tests.

Eventually, I would be able to cut the ring in half or melt part of it off with these various methods, and simple engineering curiosity would have led to Sauron's doom.

[Morning Star]

If I had it (and assuming I didn't know what it's for), I would naturally start testing it once I discovered that it was not ordinary gold.

I would start by putting it in a hydraulic press, to see if I can flatten it. If it turns out to be harder than the press plates, I would put case-hardened plates in and try again. If it's harder than those, I would subject it to erosion testing with sandblasting and grinding wheels.

Frankly, I would expect some damage by now, magic or no magic. That's some pretty harsh shit. But if it's still miraculously undamaged, I would be absolutely fascinated by now, as would any engineer. At this point, I would try to determine the melting point of this material ... which is where Sauron's troubles begin.

If the oxy-acetylene torch doesn't work, I graduate to the plasma torch. If that doesn't work, I go for the arc welder. And if that doesn't work, I try mounting it in a targeting bracket and hitting it with industrial cutting lasers. Frankly, any one of these is more of a thermal load than the interior of any volcano, so it shouldn't survive this round of tests.

Eventually, I would be able to cut the ring in half or melt part of it off with these various methods, and simple engineering curiosity would have led to Sauron's doom.

And through all those tests, you'd never put it on? Come oooonn! I can see a world bowing to the tyrany of Dark Lord Mike Wong within an instant of you seeing it... I know that's what would happen if I found it.

[Darth Wong]

And through all those tests, you'd never put it on? Come oooonn! I can see a world bowing to the tyrany of Dark Lord Mike Wong within an instant of you seeing it... I know that's what would happen if I found it.

If I discovered that it made me invisible, I'd try to figure out how it works. I'd be analyzing the shit out of it, and eventually, I'd have to get frustrated and decide that there must be something inside ... which means I have to crack it open. You see where it goes from there ...

[Sea Skimmer]

If I had it (and assuming I didn't know what it's for), I would naturally start testing it once I discovered that it was not ordinary gold.

I would start by putting it in a hydraulic press, to see if I can flatten it. If it turns out to be harder than the press plates, I would put case-hardened plates in and try again. If it's harder than those, I would subject it to erosion testing with sandblasting and grinding wheels.

Frankly, I would expect some damage by now, magic or no magic. That's some pretty harsh shit. But if it's still miraculously undamaged, I would be absolutely fascinated by now, as would any engineer. At this point, I would try to determine the melting point of this material ... which is where Sauron's troubles begin.

If the oxy-acetylene torch doesn't work, I graduate to the plasma torch. If that doesn't work, I go for the arc welder. And if that doesn't work, I try mounting it in a targeting bracket and hitting it with industrial cutting lasers. Frankly, any one of these is more of a thermal load than the interior of any volcano, so it shouldn't survive this round of tests.

Eventually, I would be able to cut the ring in half or melt part of it off with these various methods, and simple engineering curiosity would have led to Sauron's doom.

This is a ring that adjusts its size to fit whoever picks it up. I don't think the need to throw it into Mt Doom had to do with requirements of melting temperature but rather with the magic that is within it.

[Morning Star]

And through all those tests, you'd never put it on? Come oooonn! I can see a world bowing to the tyrany of Dark Lord Mike Wong within an instant of you seeing it... I know that's what would happen if I found it.

If I discovered that it made me invisible, I'd try to figure out how it works. I'd be analyzing the shit out of it, and eventually, I'd have to get frustrated and decide that there must be something inside ... which means I have to crack it open. You see where it goes from there ...

LOL, I on the other hand, would be sneaking up behind people and seeing what their credit card pin number is, and then mugging them while going back to the cash point.

But I'm sure you'd have a very nice time smelting down the most prescious thing on earth because you cant figure out how to make it.

[Darth Wong]

LOL, I on the other hand, would be sneaking up behind people and seeing what their credit card pin number is, and then mugging them while going back to the cash point.

But I'm sure you'd have a very nice time smelting down the most prescious thing on earth because you cant figure out how to make it.

What can I say, I'm a gearhead

[Darth Wong]

This is a ring that adjusts its size to fit whoever picks it up. I don't think the need to throw it into Mt Doom had to do with requirements of melting temperature but rather with the magic that is within it.

Gandalf said it was a matter of temperature; the fires burned hot enough to destroy the ring. He also said some of the ancient dragons might have done it because their fires were hot enough; the phrase "hot enough" generally denotes temperature, and the magic would presumably be released upon the destruction of the ring.

If it were in my hands, I would probably end up destroying it in an effort to figure out how it works. There's only so much you can do with non-destructive testing regimes ...

[Morning Star]

This is a ring that adjusts its size to fit whoever picks it up. I don't think the need to throw it into Mt Doom had to do with requirements of melting temperature but rather with the magic that is within it.

Gandalf said it was a matter of temperature; the fires burned hot enough to destroy the ring. He also said some of the ancient dragons might have done it because their fires were hot enough; the phrase "hot enough" generally denotes temperature, and the magic would presumably be released upon the destruction of the ring.

If it were in my hands, I would probably end up destroying it in an effort to figure out how it works. There's only so much you can do with non-destructive testing regimes ...

Yeah, assuming that all the rings of power were made roughly the same way, the One should burn at a certain temp. as about 4 of the seven were consumed in dragon fire. We have to remember, that Mount Doom was probably he hottest place in Middle-earth, and there fore the only place that could melt a ring forged like that.

If it were in your hands, there'd be no rings of power.

[Sea Skimmer]

This is a ring that adjusts its size to fit whoever picks it up. I don't think the need to throw it into Mt Doom had to do with requirements of melting temperature but rather with the magic that is within it.

Gandalf said it was a matter of temperature; the fires burned hot enough to destroy the ring. He also said some of the ancient dragons might have done it because their fires were hot enough; the phrase "hot enough" generally denotes temperature, and the magic would presumably be released upon the destruction of the ring.

If it were in my hands, I would probably end up destroying it in an effort to figure out how it works. There's only so much you can do with non-destructive testing regimes ...

I can't recall the wording. But that sounds correct.

At some point I'd think you'd just recall LOTR and then go off to kick the asses of old enemies. Just how long can you tell a magic ring to shut the fuck up, I'm to busy destroying you to abuse your power?

[Connor MacLeod]

And through all those tests, you'd never put it on? Come oooonn! I can see a world bowing to the tyrany of Dark Lord Mike Wong within an instant of you seeing it... I know that's what would happen if I found it.

If I discovered that it made me invisible, I'd try to figure out how it works. I'd be analyzing the shit out of it, and eventually, I'd have to get frustrated and decide that there must be something inside ... which means I have to crack it open. You see where it goes from there ...

Knowing you, you'd realize how invisibility would facilitate the perpetuation of your sexual deviancy

[Darth Wong]

Ah, but I already wear a ring which binds my soul to be forever dominated by another. So I'd have to put this ring on my middle finger instead of my fourth finger, where it would be very confused.

But I still think I would eventually try to figure out how it works. Mind you, I might take a slight detour to liberate some cash from a bank first and kick the living shit out of this asshole with a Ford Expedition who keeps parking in the handicapped spot at the local plaza, but that's it

[Morning Star]

Ah, but I already wear a ring which binds my soul to be forever dominated by another. So I'd have to put this ring on my middle finger instead of my fourth finger, where it would be very confused.

But I still think I would eventually try to figure out how it works. Mind you, I might take a slight detour to liberate some cash from a bank first and kick the living shit out of this asshole with a Ford Expedition who keeps parking in the handicapped spot at the local plaza, but that's it

LMAO, At least you didn't bring up the whole sneaking into the Laker's shower room idea.

[Darth Wong]

LMAO, At least you didn't bring up the whole sneaking into the Laker's shower room idea.

That's something Einhander would do. Not only am I straight, but I'm also married, so my use of the ring would be limited to theft and violence

[Sea Skimmer]

LMAO, At least you didn't bring up the whole sneaking into the Laker's shower room idea.

That's something Einhander would do. Not only am I straight, but I'm also married, so my use of the ring would be limited to theft and violence

Yes, that's much better.

Well to the people who rate movies anyway...

[Connor MacLeod]

LMAO, At least you didn't bring up the whole sneaking into the Laker's shower room idea.

That's something Einhander would do. Not only am I straight, but I'm also married, so my use of the ring would be limited to theft and violence

What about theft of porn? That would be contributing to your sexual deviancy

[Morning Star]

LMAO, At least you didn't bring up the whole sneaking into the Laker's shower room idea.

That's something Einhander would do. Not only am I straight, but I'm also married, so my use of the ring would be limited to theft and violence

What about theft of porn? That would be contributing to your sexual deviancy

sick puppy

Still suprised no-one has had the idea of baeting the crap out of someone yet...

But I still think I would eventually try to figure out how it works. Mind you, I might take a slight detour to liberate some cash from a bank first and kick the living shit out of this asshole with a Ford Expedition who keeps parking in the handicapped spot at the local plaza, but that's it

Oh.

[Perinquus]

This is a ring that adjusts its size to fit whoever picks it up. I don't think the need to throw it into Mt Doom had to do with requirements of melting temperature but rather with the magic that is within it.

Gandalf said it was a matter of temperature; the fires burned hot enough to destroy the ring. He also said some of the ancient dragons might have done it because their fires were hot enough; the phrase "hot enough" generally denotes temperature, and the magic would presumably be released upon the destruction of the ring.

If it were in my hands, I would probably end up destroying it in an effort to figure out how it works. There's only so much you can do with non-destructive testing regimes ...

He might have said that in the movie. In the book, he said that even dragon fire was not hot enough. I always took it to mean the magic in the ring made it possible to destroy it only there, as opposed to mere temperature.