I have a problem

[Trajanus]

My sister has been an atheist for the last couple of months and I've been for a little less than a year now. While she told them that she didn't believe in God, I kept my disbelief a secret. Fast forward to today: my sister has now told my mother that I don't believe in God and she hasn't taken it well. She's even gone so far as to say, "I don't see the point in Christmas now." Do you guys have any advice about what I should or shouldn't do? I feel really terrible about this whole situation.

[Superman]

My sister has been an atheist for the last couple of months and I've been for a little less than a year now. While she told them that she didn't believe in God, I kept my disbelief a secret. Fast forward to today: my sister has now told my mother that I don't believe in God and she hasn't taken it well. She's even gone so far as to say, "I don't see the point in Christmas now." Do you guys have any advice about what I should or shouldn't do? I feel really terrible about this whole situation.

Why did your sister volunteer that? Is she a little pissed off at them?

Anyway, time to deal, I guess... Try not to feel bad and realize that it's their problem, not yours. If she doesn't want to celebrate Christmas, then that's her problem. Maybe you could just sit down and have a talk with her?

Do you have to live with her? How old are you?

[Cairber]

Giving presents, decorating a tree, eating turkey/ham, family gatherings really don't demand that all particpants be a certain religion. Maybe you could emphasize the family aspect to your mother as well as explain that it isn't like you are going to stand up and scream during grace. You could also talk about respect for her beliefs and how you are the same person. Would she have wanted Christmas had your sister not spilled the beans?

[Trajanus]

"Why did your sister volunteer that? Is she a little pissed off at them?"
-Yeah, my sister did get pissed at them.

"Maybe you could just sit down and have a talk with her?"
-Here's the thing; she's already locked herself in her bedroom crying and I don't want to make the situation any worse.

"Do you have to live with her? How old are you?"
-I'm a college student home for Winter Break. Also, if you're suggesting that I not come home during the year, I'd rather not run away from the problem.

[Superman]

Giving presents, decorating a tree, eating turkey/ham, family gatherings really don't demand that all particpants be a certain religion. Maybe you could emphasize the family aspect to your mother as well as explain that it isn't like you are going to stand up and scream during grace. You could also talk about respect for her beliefs and how you are the same person. Would she have wanted Christmas had your sister not spilled the beans?

All good points, but it's not easy to rationalize with the irrational... And Christians of this type aren't known for being rational.

Here's the thing; she's already locked herself in her bedroom crying and I don't want to make the situation any worse.

That's rough. Ideally, this is where the band-aid of religion comes off and the reality of therapy comes in. Kind of hard to say something like this to a parent, though...

Also, if you're suggesting that I not come home during the year, I'd rather not run away from the problem.

I am not suggesting that. I would suggest communicating to her, as much as she will allow anyway.

Here's what I would do. I would explain that I could not pretend to believe in something that I don't actually believe in. That would be akin to living a lie, and, to her credit, she raised a son who would rather live in the truth.

To what church denomination does she belong?

[B5B7]

My sister has been an atheist for the last couple of months and I've been for a little less than a year now. While she told them that she didn't believe in God, I kept my disbelief a secret. Fast forward to today: my sister has now told my mother that I don't believe in God and she hasn't taken it well. She's even gone so far as to say, "I don't see the point in Christmas now." Do you guys have any advice about what I should or shouldn't do? I feel really terrible about this whole situation.

It seems that they didn't mind your sister being an atheist - so it seems they may be upset that you didn't tell them - though it is your own business.
Tell your mother that Xmas was invented by the pagans and just taken over by the Xians - like Borg assimilation.

How about your father - what does he say?
Also tell yout mother Xmas is supposed to be about love, family and giving presents, and being together, and that the religious part is almost irrelevent - just tacked on and ignored by many people (like most people in Australia for instance).

Also tell your mother that what she believes if it is important to her is not changed by what you believe, and also that you are still her son.

[Covenant]

The point of Christmas has never been to celebrate the birth of Jesus. The people who stuck it on that day knew full well he wasn't born when they said he was. You can tell your parents that you may not believe everything that's in the Bible, but you sure don't need a fancy reason to like Christmas. The way it's celebrated nowadays, with trees and presents and hanging with friends, has nothing to do with anything, and is just about family.

Just be honest. Unless your family got big into Jesus In The Manger stuff and sang a bunch of Evangelical carols, there really isn't much that'll change. I for one absolutely love Christmas, carols, and all that stuff without the fragment of a doubt that it was just a co-opting of pagan holidays by Christian folks. But knowing that Santa isn't real doesn't mean Christmas isn't still fun. So knowing that Jesus wasn't born on this day shouldn't make Christmas any less joyful and loving. That stuff comes from the heart, as it should, and athiests more than anyone understand that you're good for goodness' sake--not for the sake of any other force.

So, tell your Sister that you still like Christmas and that faith shouldn't have anything to do with togetherness, and tell your parents how you feel.

[Darth Wong]

"Maybe you could just sit down and have a talk with her?"
-Here's the thing; she's already locked herself in her bedroom crying and I don't want to make the situation any worse.

She's trying to use passive/aggressive manipulation techniques on you to make you change your mind. Seriously, locking herself in her room? That's just childish. She's simply being childish.

She is upset because she had dreams of someone carrying on the fundie flame for her, and now she realizes that neither of you will do it. But the fact is that you and your sister do not exist for the purpose of her ego gratification, and she's going to have to learn to live with that.

[Trajanus]

Thanks for the advice guys. After she calmed down enough, I had a long talk with her and she at least tolerates it now.