What beast would guard your fortress?

EmperorMing · Post by **EmperorMing** » 2002-12-30 12:51am

Hhmmm,

Gate guard: Vang Oorlong. Nothing like an intelligent parasitic jellyfish...

Moat guard: Aquatic Aliens from the last movie...

Typhonis 1 · Post by **Typhonis 1** » 2002-12-30 12:57am

A naked Captain Janeway chainde to the gatehouse

EmperorMing · Post by **EmperorMing** » 2002-12-30 01:01am

Typhonis 1 wrote:A naked Captain Janeway chainde to the gatehouse

AAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!

You sir, are sick!!

Truly a most hideous gaurd choice!!!

consequences · Post by **consequences** » 2002-12-30 01:27am

It could easily be worse, imagine a naked Rosie O'Donnel chained to the gate.

Raptor 597 · Post by **Raptor 597** » 2002-12-30 01:31am

consequences wrote:It could easily be worse, imagine a naked Rosie O'Donnel chained to the gate.

Janeway is stil far, far, far, and far worse.

Post by **Alyrium Denryle** » 2002-12-30 01:38am

Moat guard: Hmmm I would have to go with.....a shitload or GIRs(they could not possibly be sentient

Gate: What else but a Force Dragon? come on, they are an uber drago, and an epic level sorcerer all rolled up into one big invisible, beast of doom.

Now for the perimeter defenses......Armed lawn gnomes, armed with laser/particle weapons that project from the eyes.

Automated defense turrets firing balls of molten copper, propelled and heated by plasma

Defensive shields

Turbolaser cannons

Durasteel walls

The list goes on

consequences · Post by **consequences** » 2002-12-30 01:45am

With Janeway, at least you can imagine someone else's face onto her to lessen the horror. With Rosie that really wouldn't help at all.

Cal Wright · Post by **Cal Wright** » 2002-12-30 01:56am

My mom.

Singular Quartet · Post by **Singular Quartet** » 2002-12-30 03:15am

DG_Cal_Wright wrote:My mom.

Don't think that counts.

For my moat, I have a hordes upon hordes of Behemoths from Final Fantasy 7. Human heads just happen to be perfect biting height.

For the gate, we leave that to The Doom Marine, fully armed. He's been to hell and back.

TrailerParkJawa · Post by **TrailerParkJawa** » 2002-12-30 03:16am

Moat Guard: Rabbit from Quest for the Holy Grail

Gate Guard: Marvin the Robot.

irishmick79 · Post by **irishmick79** » 2002-12-30 08:52am

Moat Guard: A Giant Squid with laser beams attached to the tenticles (It'll be a deep moat)

Gate Guard: An irate pack of Velociraptors.

Grand Admiral Thrawn · Post by **Grand Admiral Thrawn** » 2002-12-30 09:03am

Moat: Kitty.
Gate: BALROG!

Cal Wright · Post by **Cal Wright** » 2002-12-30 12:27pm

Singuler Quartet wrote:
DG_Cal_Wright wrote:My mom.
Don't think that counts.

For my moat, I have a hordes upon hordes of Behemoths from Final Fantasy 7. Human heads just happen to be perfect biting height.

For the gate, we leave that to The Doom Marine, fully armed. He's been to hell and back.

You haven't met her.

Malachius · Post by **Malachius** » 2002-12-30 04:39pm

For the Moat Guard I would probably go for a Kraken (until I think of something better at least). Gate Guard, well I'm gonna go with a Balrog as my first choice.

I'll think up some better ones when I'm more awake.

God Emperor · Post by **God Emperor** » 2002-12-30 04:55pm

Hmm.

Moat:Fundies (in mass numbers)

Gate:Leto II (able to see the future and can easely block the door)

Crayz9000 · Post by **Crayz9000** » 2002-12-30 04:59pm

Sea Skimmer wrote:In both cases it must be some creature or breast that's power comes completely or primarily from its biological aspects. A troll with a ax is okay for gate guard, a big mecha with live pilot is not is not.

Oh, God... after reading all the sex topics in this forum, I misread the title of this topic as "What breast would guard your fortress?" And then you put it in the body of your post...

Post by **Sea Skimmer** » 2002-12-30 05:04pm

Crayz9000 wrote:
Sea Skimmer wrote:In both cases it must be some creature or breast that's power comes completely or primarily from its biological aspects. A troll with a ax is okay for gate guard, a big mecha with live pilot is not is not.
Oh, God... after reading all the sex topics in this forum, I misread the title of this topic as "What breast would guard your fortress?" And then you put it in the body of your post...

If you can't figure out it's a now corrected typo in under 2 seconds I suggest you turn off your computer and get some fresh air.

Crayz9000 · Post by **Crayz9000** » 2002-12-30 05:08pm

Sea Skimmer wrote:If you can't figure out it's a now corrected typo in under 2 seconds I suggest you turn off your computer and get some fresh air.

Well, I'm glad you finally noticed...

...after I pointed it out, that is...

justifier · Post by **justifier** » 2002-12-30 05:11pm

Moat: Rancar, its big its scary

Gate: Jay & Silent Bob, none shall pass!

Arthur_Tuxedo · Post by **Arthur_Tuxedo** » 2002-12-31 04:10am

Moat: Pirahnas. Why get extravagant?

Gate: That big alien general in Lilo & Stitch. Or maybe just Stitch.

SyntaxVorlon · Post by **SyntaxVorlon** » 2002-12-31 04:17am

First Gate: Darth Jay and Bob the Silent Sith Lord
Auxilery: 5 Shadow Balrogs

Malachius · Post by **Malachius** » 2002-12-31 10:36am

Moat: Pirahnas. Why get extravagant?

Why not? But I agree, sometimes the simple things in life are the better. But you take your pirhana, I'll stick with my Kraken.

Post by **Alyrium Denryle** » 2002-12-31 11:13am

And Will keep with my GIR units of insane doom

God Emperor · Post by **God Emperor** » 2002-12-31 02:00pm

Ha fundies are the best defense, any logical person would run from them, while the illogical will just join the masses. Bad side need sound proof buildings.

Dartzap · Post by **Dartzap** » 2002-12-31 03:09pm

I'm suprised no-one has mentioned this

Gate : The librarion from unseen university
moat :A colony of luaggages Now thats feirce!

StarDestroyer.Net BBS

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