NFL Football Thread

NeoGoomba · Post by **NeoGoomba** » 2006-12-31 04:06pm

Straha wrote:Either I'm suffering from massive delusions... or we're going to the playoffs. (Unless it's the Heidi game V. 2.0)

Oh, no. We're in my friend.

Darth Fanboy · Post by **Darth Fanboy** » 2006-12-31 04:25pm

And Bengals' Fans must be feeling pretty lame right now, two consecutive chokes in a week and this time you CAN blame the kicker.

Medic · Post by **Medic** » 2006-12-31 04:29pm

I'm sorry Darth Garden Gnome, after such a hopeful season, you ultimately lost!

*ahem* The Oakland Raiders are on the clock!

Elfdart · Post by **Elfdart** » 2007-01-01 12:37am

I'm not so sure I'd want to be on the clock right now. If you're picking in the top 5, your team sucks out loud in several categories and you don't want to pay one guy First Pick money when you have so many holes to fill. The reason the Chargers were able to turn it around was because they didn't go for Vick or She-li, traded for more (but lower) picks and got more players. I would wait for one of the suckers to make an offer I couldn't refuse and give up the spot.

Medic · Post by **Medic** » 2007-01-01 01:20am

Elfdart wrote:I'm not so sure I'd want to be on the clock right now. If you're picking in the top 5, your team sucks out loud in several categories and you don't want to pay one guy First Pick money when you have so many holes to fill. The reason the Chargers were able to turn it around was because they didn't go for Vick or She-li, traded for more (but lower) picks and got more players. I would wait for one of the suckers to make an offer I couldn't refuse and give up the spot.

All relevant points; I was merely paying homage to DGG's year-long running joke.

Arrow · Post by **Arrow** » 2007-01-01 10:33am

Well this sucks. Broncos' cornerback Darrent Williams was shot and killed last night. Link

CarsonPalmer · Post by **CarsonPalmer** » 2007-01-01 12:38pm

Holy god! The Giants are going to Dallas. The scariest part is, they can beat Dallas. My Giants could be going to the Divisional Round. The scariest part of the whole thing, outside of Seattle and New Orleans, nobody's killed them.

They could have beaten the Eagles in New York. They could have beaten the Cowboys in New York. They could have beaten the fucking Bears! The fucking Giants might back their way deep into the playoffs.

Qwerty 42 · Post by **Qwerty 42** » 2007-01-01 01:11pm

CarsonPalmer wrote:Holy god! The Giants are going to Dallas. The scariest part is, they can beat Dallas. My Giants could be going to the Divisional Round. The scariest part of the whole thing, outside of Seattle and New Orleans, nobody's killed them.

They could have beaten the Eagles in New York. They could have beaten the Cowboys in New York. They could have beaten the fucking Bears! The fucking Giants might back their way deep into the playoffs.

A slight nitpick, but you're going to Philadelphia, not Dallas.

CarsonPalmer · Post by **CarsonPalmer** » 2007-01-01 02:45pm

Whoops. Still, the Giants can win on the road but not at home. I gave up trying to figure them out a long time ago. They suck, but they win.

Medic · Post by **Medic** » 2007-01-01 03:22pm

Arrow wrote:Well this sucks. Broncos' cornerback Darrent Williams was shot and killed last night. Link

for alcohol. What a waste of human life.

Rest In Peace

Elfdart · Post by **Elfdart** » 2007-01-01 03:27pm

And the New Year's Day ritual begins:

Jim Mora and Dennis Green shitcanned. Tom Coughlin just might save his job by winning a playoff game or two. Art Shell would have been dumped except nobody else wants to work for Al Davis, so he's probably safe. A few years ago, something like 7 or 8 teams dumped their coaches. The funny thing is, I don't think this year will see half that many firings. The other teams that suck all have 1st year coaches, so they're safe for now.

I think the next coach to get shown the door will be Bill Parcells. His team is backing into the playoffs (getting soundly beaten by the 3-13 Lions) and if the Cowboys get whipped by Seattle...

Jerry Jones got drunk and fired Jimmy Johnson after he won back-to-back Super Bowls. So unlike media hacks, he isn't in awe of any coach and will fire them whenever he goddamn pleases. The problem is, he usually decides for reasons that have nothing to do with football.

Falkenhayn · Post by **Falkenhayn** » 2007-01-01 05:00pm

Any good 1 Gap DT's that won't be a waste of this year's 12th pick? I turned on the radio and the Bills were only down by 2, but thankfully Baltimore did the bussiness.

I hope we get TiVo for the aftermath of Bellicheck-Mangini Round 3.

Master of Ossus · Post by **Master of Ossus** » 2007-01-02 01:56am

BAHAHA! The Niners defeated the Broncos in Denver, to knock them out of the playoffs.

Shannon Sharpe's commentary prior to the NY-OAK game was priceless. Paraphrased from memory:

"If I were Eric Mangini, I would want my offense to control the ball for twenty to twenty-five minutes, cause when Oakland's offense is on the field I know we're going to put up some points."

Elfdart · Post by **Elfdart** » 2007-01-02 02:00am

He's not joking, the way Oakland's QBs play hot potato with the ball.

That NOS Guy · Post by **That NOS Guy** » 2007-01-02 11:06am

CarsonPalmer wrote: They could have beaten the Eagles in New York. They could have beaten the Cowboys in New York. They could have beaten the fucking Bears! The fucking Giants might back their way deep into the playoffs.

Highly doubtful the Giants can top the Eagles. The only reason the first meeting was won was because the Eagles absolutely melted down. With the way they're playing now? Well, it would be difficult for the Giants to replicate the same good fortune.

CarsonPalmer · Post by **CarsonPalmer** » 2007-01-02 01:29pm

Giants were in the game until an awful two minute span a couple weeks ago. Defense comes apart, Eli's pass gets a wierd deflection, boom, 14 points, game over. Everybody forgets that Eli Manning has played well in some fourth quarters. 6 for 6, and a TD against Dallas to tie things back up. Defense collapses right away, game over.

RedImperator · Post by **RedImperator** » 2007-01-02 04:22pm

CarsonPalmer wrote:Giants were in the game until an awful two minute span a couple weeks ago. Defense comes apart, Eli's pass gets a wierd deflection, boom, 14 points, game over. Everybody forgets that Eli Manning has played well in some fourth quarters. 6 for 6, and a TD against Dallas to tie things back up. Defense collapses right away, game over.

"If they hadn't lost, they would have won!"

The Giants stink. They can still beat the Eagles because the Eagles aren't that great and it's a division opponent (if Tiki Barber stays hot, the Birds are in real trouble--good luck next year without him, by the way), but they're a lousy team. In a conference that didn't suck donkey balls, they'd be watching the playoffs on TV like they deserve.

Howedar · Post by **Howedar** » 2007-01-02 04:50pm

I don't think you're emphasizing that point nearly enough. The Giants are an embarrassment to the game of football.

Medic · Post by **Medic** » 2007-01-02 04:50pm

RedImperator wrote:
CarsonPalmer wrote:Giants were in the game until an awful two minute span a couple weeks ago. Defense comes apart, Eli's pass gets a wierd deflection, boom, 14 points, game over. Everybody forgets that Eli Manning has played well in some fourth quarters. 6 for 6, and a TD against Dallas to tie things back up. Defense collapses right away, game over.
"If they hadn't lost, they would have won!"

The Giants stink. They can still beat the Eagles because the Eagles aren't that great and it's a division opponent (if Tiki Barber stays hot, the Birds are in real trouble--good luck next year without him, by the way), but they're a lousy team. In a conference that didn't suck donkey balls, they'd be watching the playoffs on TV like they deserve.

That defense is getting them nowhere, fast. The lowly Redskins with an inexperienced QB put up a boatload of 2nd half points against that Defense. Say what you will about Eli and Tiki, that defense is just floundering.

They were horrible against the Saints too and as you pointed out, melted down against the Eagles in the 2nd game.

Darth Garden Gnome · Post by **Darth Garden Gnome** » 2007-01-02 05:00pm

God, I hate football. I really do. It's a place where beautiful hopes and dreams go to die. Seriously, what kind of asshole realizes that he's this close to beating a much better team and blowing the #1 and doesn't put the ball on the ground and call it a day. Unbelievable. Unfathomable. Disgusting. There just aren't enough words for Lions football. God fucking damnit.

CarsonPalmer · Post by **CarsonPalmer** » 2007-01-02 08:57pm

The whole conference isn't that great. That's exactly what I'm saying. If the G-Men get lucky, they could suck their way as far as the NFC Championship, where the Saints pummel them again. After all, even Chicago isn't all that impressive. The Giants were hanging with them until the most embarassing special teams meltdown I've ever seen live.

I think, though, that people are awfully hard on Eli Manning. The O-Line sucks. With Bob Whitfield, the American counterpart to Zinedine Zidane, Do-Nothing Kareem Mackenzie, and the Three Stooges, its a wonder he gets anything off. That's without Mr. Holding, aka I'll Jump Offsides Five Times in A Game, aka Luke Petigout.

Mike Strahan SUCKS! How the hell do you miss six weeks with a fucking sprained foot? We had a kid on my HIGH SCHOOL TEAM playing with a dislocated shoulder, two broken fingers, a broken hand and stretched knee cartilage and the fucking professional can't play with a sprained foot!

The defense can't' stop anybody, not anybody. Couldn't stop fucking Tennessee once in the fourth quarter to preserve the win. Couldn't hold Dallas to less than 50 yards in two minutes. Couldn't make JEFF GARCIA drive the length of the field.

And yet, they're in the fucking playoffs.

Elfdart · Post by **Elfdart** » 2007-01-02 09:07pm

Darth Garden Gnome wrote:God, I hate football. I really do. It's a place where beautiful hopes and dreams go to die. Seriously, what kind of asshole realizes that he's this close to beating a much better team and blowing the #1 and doesn't put the ball on the ground and call it a day. Unbelievable. Unfathomable. Disgusting. There just aren't enough words for Lions football. God fucking damnit.

Unless Millen gets fired, it doesn't matter whether the team picks first or second. Actually it does, since the #1 pick almost always gets a higher contract, so this way if Millen drafts another receiver who can't beat a converted safety out of a job, at least he won't spend quite as much money to do so.

Marinelli took a team with nothing to play for into the home stadium of a playoff team with everything to play for and beat them. They finally learned how to win -and that's a lot better than any #1 pick.

Howedar wrote:I don't think you're emphasizing that point nearly enough. The Giants are an embarrassment to the game of football.

I've come to the conclusion that the four wild card playoff spots should be awarded on a League-wide basis, which might cull out shitty teams like the Giants. The only thing more embarassing than the Giants would be losing to them.

Howedar · Post by **Howedar** » 2007-01-02 10:33pm

Oh, of course the wild cards should be allotted as such. The entire point, after all, is to keep good teams from being overshadowed by greater teams in their division, if they themselves are good enough to compete in the playoffs. Of course this logic can be stretched to a conference level.

Darth Garden Gnome · Post by **Darth Garden Gnome** » 2007-01-02 11:16pm

Elfdart wrote:Marinelli took a team with nothing to play for into the home stadium of a playoff team with everything to play for and beat them. They finally learned how to win -and that's a lot better than any #1 pick.

Honest to god, I didn't watch the game. I had better things to do than, as I assumed wrongfully (woe is me), watch the Lions be crushed once again by a superior team.

This thing where they beat one or two good (or at least better) teams a year doesn't inspire much confidence in me. They do it all the time. All it ever amounts to is 3-13, 5-11, 2-14, year after year. Lions football is really a soul-crushing experience.

Darth Fanboy · Post by **Darth Fanboy** » 2007-01-03 01:26am

Darth Garden Gnome wrote: Lions football is really a soul-crushing experience.

That's not true, if it was Millen would have resigned, unless you count this as evidence that the man has no soul.