Respect for the eldery, why?

[Faram]

Strange stuff happens.

Today some trains where cancelled (as usual) and I was damn lucky to get on at my station. At the next station the doors open noone steps out and the train is packed to the limit, standing there minding my own business I felt a poke in my back turned my head and sow a old geezer in his 80s or so poking me whit his walking stick. Asked him what the hell are you doing?

He demanded that I should show respect get of the train and leave room for him.

Before I could reply, drop dead asshole the doors closed and the train continued on.

At the ride to the next station some asshole in my age asked my why I did not step off, I retorted whit why did not you do it? His answer “He did not ask me” I told him in no fuck off and go to hell. He just looked grumpy but said no more.

So did I do wrong or not, and if you think that I did Explain why, because age do not give automatic respect and even if it did, why should I be late to work because some old fuck?

[Bounty]

So did I do wrong or not, and if you think that I did Explain why, because age do not give automatic respect and even if it did, why should I be late to work because some old fuck?

Respect is earned, not demanded, so he had no right to tell you to get off the train. By poking you, he should that he had no respect for his fellow man, which made your refusal to leave even more justified.

Age generally someone to respect from the idea that wisdom and experience go hand in hand with it, but this is hardly always true. In this case, his age did not entitle him to some special right to use the train.

(Had he been on the train and asked for your seat, should you have one, you would be advised to give it up, since he is far less capable of standing the whole journey, but that is based on abilities, not age)

[weemadando]

I had this happen to me and Sarah in Melbourne, we're sitting at a tram stop and this old fucker walks up, and then straight away sits down, pushing Sarah out of the way, then swears at us for not making room for him.

I then spend the next few minutes talking about how good it is not to be a crotchety old fuck with one foot in the grave and who is probably unhappy with the world because everyone they know and love is dead.

All the fucker had to say was excuse me. Hell, we'd already given up seats twice that day for older people on trams. But no, he's one of the fucking "the world owes me" old bastards.

Perhaps working in the retirements section of a social security organisation has embittered me more than usual, but I honestly think that its only a small minority of the eldery who actually remember any fucking common courtesy or even common sense.

[Covenant]

The Elderly deserve some respect in the sense that you should perhaps give up your seat if they're standing there, same as you might do to someone carrying a lot of stuff or something else. However, they don't deserve deference. If you had a comfy seat and there was room to stand, offering to give him the seat would have been an act of kindness. When it becomes expected it ceases to be compassion and just becomes entitlement. The old aren't entitled to anything any more than I am. Life sucks sometimes. It's hard. You don't get what you deserve half as much as you want. But no matter how old I'll get, I'll never deserve someone else's seat.

[Admiral Valdemar]

I don't get the "respect is earned" crap, nor the "respect everyone totally" crap. How about we have a nice middle-ground whereby I give you more respect if you are a good person, and less if you are an arrogant arsewipe?

Only Sith and angsty anti-authoritarian teens deal in absolutes.

[Bounty]

Only Sith and angsty anti-authoritarian teens deal in absolutes.

'Earned' only in the sense that it can't be demanded point-blank, not that it's something you work for.

[Raesene]

[...]

(Had he been on the train and asked for your seat, should you have one, you would be advised to give it up, since he is far less capable of standing the whole journey, but that is based on abilities, not age)

Mostly I offer my seat anyway, but what I loathe are those who basically sprint to the train, bus, etc. and then demand my seat because they are elderly.
Or those who can discuss with their friends how bad today's youth is bec asue they don't offer their seats anymore.
Once, a woman's face was priceless, when on leaving the bus I told her that instead of complaining to her friend, she simply could have asked - the people close to her in the bus who heard that were snickering afterwards

[FSTargetDrone]

I would be reluctant to make a smarmy comeback with an elderly person, mostly because I don't know for sure if such behavior as some of you have described might be as a result from dementia or some other issue, something that is no one's fault. Of course, some old folk are just cranky. I don't show elderly people any more or less respect than anyone else, on balance, but if it's a pregnant woman, someone with a heavy load or someone who clearly has trouble standing, I'd give up my seat.

[Big Orange]

I can remember recently having an annoying incident where I was waiting to go into a office building (the Eagle House) in Bristol and some fat middle aged bastard rudely pushed right past me then slammed the door right into my face. I called out "cunt" at him because it was early in the morning and the weather was terrible (I could snap easily in those conditions).

But of course he somehow heard me. Insulted, the fat twat went to the receptionist as if to say "Sir! Sir! That mean kid swore at me!". Technically he was not elderly and appeared only in his 50s perhaps late 40s, but that is the most recent example of somebody older than that perhaps should've known better (although I certainly should not have sworn, inspite of his rude behaviour).

Maybe in the same month I could also recall some old bugger slapping my legs aside with a newspaper so he could take a seat (he could've said please).

But life is way too short to worry about little incidents like this.

[Netko]

I almost always give my seat to the elderly, people with a lot of bags etc. IF they politely ask instead of being rude assholes (the common assholishness here, besides the smarmy "oh look at the barbaric youth today" discussions next to one's ear, is standing next to the person sitting who's seat you want and pushing into them pretending the crowd is pushing you in - no asshole, fuck you, you aren't getting my seat with that behavior no matter how close to croaking you are).

I also hate the expectation that the youthful should always, despite the circumstances, leave their seat to the usual categories. Like 2 weeks ago, I spent the entire day volunteering for a bone marrow bank signup drive giving out fliers - some good 8 hours of being on my feet walking around and handing people fliers. Afterwards I was dead tired, and yet some 50ish "lady" accosted me in the tram about why I didn't get up and give her my seat the millisecond I saw her (that is after she'd blown a fuse because the pushy method was not working). I just don't get that. She sees that I'm slouching, half-asleep in my seat and still she assumes that I'm full of youthful energy and vigor at that precise moment and so should give her my seat. No fucking way, especially with such conduct.

The moment he poked you with his walking stick is the moment he lost any "elderly privileges" in my book.

[Raesene]

I would be reluctant to make a smarmy comeback with an elderly person, mostly because I don't know for sure if such behavior as some of you have described might be as a result from dementia or some other issue, something that is no one's fault. Of course, some old folk are just cranky. I don't show elderly people any more or less respect than anyone else, on balance, but if it's a pregnant woman, someone with a heavy load or someone who clearly has trouble standing, I'd give up my seat.

If you adressed that to me, if she would have been someone really in need of a seat, I would have offered mine. She was probably around sixty and not feeble, and when speaking to her friend she demonstrated that she still had her full mental abilities. Otherwise, a free seat for her.

I'm just happy that none of the elderly I know (mostly relatives) are part of the 'in former times everything was more difficult, you now have it so easy'-crowd.
Maybe my generation does not have to rebuild a country after a war, but one of our problems might be to find/keep a job due to downsizing or relocation of companies, etc.
Probably every generation was told by its elders that it sucks

[TithonusSyndrome]

I deal with this sort of attitude from my grandfather more than I'd like. He definetly has a "the world owes me, especially you" thing going on, and he thinks the privelages included in this indenture the world has coming to him permeate all aspects of his life. If he walks around his house naked or close to it in the presence of small children or guests, leaves food out to dry up or spoil, or simply rants at great length about how this country is going to hell in a handbasket based on perceived moral decay stemming from immigrants and homosexuals, I'm the "disrespectful" one for telling him to smarten the fuck up.

If any behavioural patterns can be assumed to held in common from my grandfather to the other elderly assholes of the world, and I think several can, then I'd have to say that their malaise stems from a lifetime of crushing plebian servitude and post-agrarian "values" that centered around sweeping unsightly emotional baggage under the carpet for the sake of appearances. The world has lost sight of what made the world of his youth such a perfect place; namely, the naivete to be blissfully unaware of the millions of deaths taking place in the European and Asian theaters while he and the rest of his bumfuck yokel friends drank their modest fortunes away.

[Edi]

If somebody asks me for my seat, I might or might not give it to them depending on a lot of things. I've offered my seat to older people on quite a few occasions, but if somebody starts poking, prodding or pushing me, I will tell them quite rudely to fuck off and shove their sanctimonious attitudes up their arse (unless my gf is with me, in which case refraining from such an action will save me from a tirade). If they have a problem with that, too fucking bad.

The thing that I hate the most is these fucks of all ages who generally act as if they are above everyone else and think that their fucking bags and purses deserve a seat of their own on a full bus, tram or train. If they don't have the brains to remove said items when there are people waiting for seats, I tend to either ask whether they will remove it or if I'll just sit on it, or sometimes just sit on it directly if the fuck pretends not to notice. Getting in my face about the latter usually gets them a lot of foul language.

Edi

[tim31]

The moment he poked you with his walking stick is the moment he lost any "elderly privileges" in my book.

The moment Faram was poked with a stick, the old man was stepping into the grey area of litigation. Imagine if Faram had pushed back on the stick.

Whenever I'm in Sydney or Melbourne and I've had Charlotte in the pram(I usually prefer a backpack but she's getting heavier!), people on trains jump up to help me on/off, even though Emily and I are getting on off together anyway! I really appreciate this; I remember Emily telling me stories about having to stand on public transport when she was heavily pregnant and the old ducks would just stare at her belly, slightly shaking their heads and making tut tut noises.*


*Which brings me to a related rant; they fucking judged her for being a young person with a baby, but they probably got married at 18 and popped out TWO kids by the time they were her age(21 at the time). Double fucking standards, it's their way.

[Nate_A]

I never imagined such arrogance and bad behavior from seniors before reading this thread. How common is this? Is it possible that, by handing out money and surrendering seats to people just because they are old, we have essentually turned them into spoiled children, with an arrogant sense of entiltlement?

[Big Phil]

And you foreign devils wonder why Americans refuse to give up their personal automobiles?

[Big Orange]

I never imagined such arrogance and bad behavior from seniors before reading this thread. How common is this? Is it possible that, by handing out money and surrendering seats to people just because they are old, we have essentually turned them into spoiled children, with an arrogant sense of entiltlement?

Yes, the rude, petulant behaviour of some old folks described here is indeed reprehensible and anyone who bullies another person to take their seat or standing space does not deserve the courtesy they snidely demand at the expense of others, no matter what their advanced age is. I can also recall instances of elderly women pompously hogging the bench spaces at bus stops, edging me up to the edge of the seating space for no reason.

[Raesene]

And you foreign devils wonder why Americans refuse to give up their personal automobiles?

There are some elderly which I would prefer to be kept far away of personal cars, for their (and my) safety

I never imagined such arrogance and bad behavior from seniors before reading this thread. How common is this? Is it possible that, by handing out money and surrendering seats to people just because they are old, we have essentually turned them into spoiled children, with an arrogant sense of entiltlement?

Not that common, but now I travel at times when there are less elderly on the train. It's the same everywhere, you speak only about the bad examples, not about the one who thank you when you offer your seat. That fortunately happens more often, to me, at least

[Trytostaydead]

As an Asian, respect for ones elder is a big thing, but even then, in my opinion it goes too far and like the incident with the OP, it often gets abused.

In terms of sitting versus standing, on a crowded bus or subway, I'm more than willing to vacate my seat for the elderly and stand up for the ride. But if an elderly person demands I get off so they can go, fuck that shit. Maybe, MAYBE if they asked politely and said their joints were killing them and needed to get home, maybe I'd give up my spot. But if they poked and glared at me? Fuck no.

I remember one time in the grocery, the produce aisles were narrow and evidently I wasn't fast enough for this one old lady who kept ramming with her cart.

[salm]

I remember one time in the grocery, the produce aisles were narrow and evidently I wasn't fast enough for this one old lady who kept ramming with her cart.

Yes, i had the same thing. Some old bitch ramming me in the legs with her shopping cart while waiting in line. I told her to stop and she reacted annoyed. Grumpy old fucks.

[aerius]

Old folks are just like any other age group, there's nice ones, the ones you don't really notice either way, and the asshole ones who do their best to give the group a bad name.

I don't have any special feelings for them, sure they may have helped make my world what it is, but on the other hand my taxes are paying for their pensions and making their lives possible. They've lived to an old age, well good job, but that doesn't give them the right to be disrespectful assholes, it's about as ridiculous as saying that a religious person is automatically a good person. Just cause someone's old/religious/black/female or whatever doesn't make them automatically deserving of special treatment, they get the same basic respect as everyone else, and if they choose to be assholes they'll be treated as such.

[LaserRifleofDoom]

I find that the nice old people are either not noticeable because they don't make a fuss, or are taken care of by family members who are able to stand being around them. Grumpy old people tend to be abandoned by people who don't want to spend much time with them because they're grumpy.

[Big Orange]

I find that the nice old people are either not noticeable because they don't make a fuss, or are taken care of by family members who are able to stand being around them. Grumpy old people tend to be abandoned by people who don't want to spend much time with them because they're grumpy.

Very, very likely the nice kids aged into the quiet old people that bother no one, while the fuckstain kids aged into the fuckstain old people that act in a rude manner in public places and drain their relatives.

[Darth Fanboy]

I think even worse are the ones that blow a real nasty fart in your direction and don't even say excuse me or they don't make any effort to try and angle the smell somewhere away (this is at its worst on airplanes). Either that or the ones that constantly stare at young people in restauraunts frequented by older people. There is a fairly large retirement community in Laguna Woods near a few places I like to eat, and whenever I go to these places with my girlfriend or with my famly we are just stared at as if we were from another planet. Granted my mom and stepdad are 50+ and they still are viewed as if they are skateboarding in a public park blaring "that goll durned Rock and Roll."

[Skylon]

At my old summer job at the beach thre big three "demanders of respect" were the elderly, firemen and cops.

"Let us the fuck in for free"/"I don't care if this parking field is full" were the typical demands.