SW/ST fic: THE LONE DESTROYER

[Master_Baerne]

Behold, my first fanfic. Bit of a cliffhanger, but oh well. More will follow, unless you all hate in in which case no more will follow.

Star Wars
The Lone Destroyer

Dramatis Personae

The ISD Furious

Captain James Devaron, commander of ISD Furious, male human

Commander Tomas Needa, executive officer of ISD Furious, male human

Colonel Parza Viz, fighter commander for ISD Furious and leader of Gray Squadron, female Verpine

Lieutenant Pityr Halleck, engineering technician aboard ISD Furious, male human

Chapter 1

Captain James Devaron stood on the bridge of the Imperial Star Destroyer Furious. The mighty bone-white triangle hung motionless in space, dozens of light years from the nearest settlement. Nothing within sensor range merited investigation. Nothing, that is, except the splotch of impenetrable blackness that cloaked a Rebel base.
“Launch all fighters. Prepare heavy turbolasers for blind targeting. Commander Needa, activate shields.” This would be he crowning glory of his career. The Furious had been assigned to the Death Fleet under Lord Vader, and had been disabled by ion cannon fire at Hoth. Incensed, Vader had detached the Furious to hunt down the supplier of the cannon. Captain Devaron had determined that while the actual maker of the cannon, Kuat Drive Yards, was out of reach, the Rebel base it had passed through on it’s way to Hoth was not.
To that end he had tracked down the stronghold in question, and would soon destroy it.
“Sir, Com/Scan detects a massive disturbance off our starboard bow. It’s moving closer at a rate of ten thousand kilometers per second.” reported Lieutenant Halleck from the crew pit.
“What manner of disturbance?”
“Apparently a wormhole, sir.”
“It’s moving closer, you say? How long until it reaches us?”
“Fifteen minutes Captain.”
“Recall all fighters! Turn about and prepare for a blind hyperspace jump.”
“Sir, is that wise? A blind jump could land us in a star or something. Perhaps we should investigate the wormhole. It could contain valuable resources or a new species of alien.”
“Commander Needa, I am not interested in aliens at the moment. We must jump, or this ship could be lost forever.”
“Yes sir.” he said, nodding briskly. “Gray, Black, and Obsidian Squadrons are onboard. It will take Onyx and Dusk Squadrons a few more minutes to dock.”’ There was a look of apprehension on Needa’s face.
“We don’t have a few more minutes.” It was more of a statement than a question.
“No sir.” came the dejected reply.
“What about Ebony and Sable Squadrons?” inquired Captain Devaron, his eyes narrowed with worry.
“They hadn’t launched yet.” Devaron breathed a sigh of relief. At least some of his troops would survive.
“Carry on, Lieutenant.” Outwardly, Captain Devaron looked the perfect Imperial officer; calm, collected, and interested in his subordinates welfare. Inside, however, his mind was churning. Should he make the jump to lightspeed, and lose two dozen good men to either a wormhole or the Rebel base’s defenses? To wait might endanger the lives of his entire crew. “Prepare for lightspeed, Commander Needa. Order Ebony and Sable to make best speed towards us. Wait until the last possible second before jumping. If they don’t make it...”
“Yes sir, I understand.” Needa saluted smartly and shouted to the Navigation technician. Just then, an iridescent blue bolt as large as a Corellian Corvette erupted from the cloaked base, striking the Furious amidships.
“Damage report!” shouted Devaron heatedly. “Was that an ion cannon?”
“Yes sir,” replied Lieutenant Halleck. “Just like the one at Hoth. Shields, weapons, and hyperdrive are off line. We still have sublight propulsion though.”
“All speed ahead towards Ebony and Sable. Tractor them in as fast as possible!” Might as well save as many soldiers as possible, then. Maybe we’ll survive.
“Aye aye sir.”
The wormhole sped toward them. Furious had just enough time to retreive the last of it’s fighters before the great ship was swallowed by the ravening hole through space and time.

END CHAPTER ONE

[Elheru Aran]

Er. I think something's missing. Maybe that little something called 'paragraphs'?

[Einhander Sn0m4n]

Dramatis Personae

THAT'S A FUCKING 50DKP MINUS! --Dives

[fusion]

Not bad i just want to see more before I actual say something

[pieman3141]

Spacing. There's a reason why professors don't accept anything single-spaced beyond letters, resumes, and one-page assignments.

[Singular Quartet]

I can't read anything that's improperly spaced. Don't know why. There could be a good story up there, but I'll never know.

Unless you fix it.

[Darth Fanboy]

If I can read this chapter at the beginning of an average fart and have it finished by the time the stink hits my nose, then it is not a chapter.

Now remember though, just because I am asking that you make your chapters longer doesn't mean I want more. The story seems rather generic at this point.

[Master_Baerne]

Sorry about the paragraphs (or lack therof). It was copied and pasted, and I diodn't take the time to see whether the paragraphs were there. I'll fix that, and add the next bit.

[Crazedwraith]

I'm getting "Star Destroyers: Rampant" vipes from this one. No-one wants to read about the Empire curbstomping Trekverse.

[Crossroads Inc.]

I'm getting "Star Destroyers: Rampant" vipes from this one. No-one wants to read about the Empire curbstomping Trekverse.

Wasn't that the one that had the imps making Hypermater from black holes and the Defiant being a significant threat to the ISD?

[Master_Baerne]

Oh, the Imps don't get to curbstomp anybody. Horrible things happen to everybody involved...

[Singular Quartet]

I'm getting "Star Destroyers: Rampant" vipes from this one. No-one wants to read about the Empire curbstomping Trekverse.

Wasn't that the one that had the imps making Hypermater from black holes and the Defiant being a significant threat to the ISD?

No, that was Micheal January's ISD: Eliminator, a much better quality fic than Rampant. Rampant was just rampant stupidity.

[Raesene]

I'm getting "Star Destroyers: Rampant" vipes from this one. No-one wants to read about the Empire curbstomping Trekverse.

Wasn't that the one that had the imps making Hypermater from black holes and the Defiant being a significant threat to the ISD?

No, that was Micheal January's ISD: Eliminator, a much better quality fic than Rampant. Rampant was just rampant stupidity.

Was there ever a sequel to this ? Any more stories after the refit, and the two more names to be dealt with ?

[Singular Quartet]

To my knowledge, there was never anything past the first part.

[Master_Baerne]

Sorry about the previous lack of spacing. I'll add more to the story when I have time.

Captain James Devaron stood on the bridge of the Imperial Star Destroyer Furious. The mighty bone-white triangle hung motionless in space, dozens of light years from the nearest settlement. Nothing within sensor range merited investigation. Nothing, that is, except the splotch of impenetrable blackness that cloaked a Rebel base.

“Launch all fighters. Prepare heavy turbolasers for blind targeting. Commander Needa, activate shields.” This would be he crowning glory of his career. The Furious had been assigned to the Death Fleet under Lord Vader, and had been disabled by ion cannon fire at Hoth. Incensed, Vader had detached the Furious to hunt down the supplier of the cannon. Captain Devaron had determined that while the actual maker of the cannon, Kuat Drive Yards, was out of reach, the Rebel base it had passed through on it’s way to Hoth was not. To that end he had tracked down the stronghold in question, and would soon destroy it.

“Sir, Com/Scan detects a massive disturbance off our starboard bow. It’s moving closer at a rate of ten thousand kilometers per second.” reported Lieutenant Halleck from the crew pit.

“What manner of disturbance?”

“Apparently a wormhole, sir.”

“It’s moving closer, you say? How long until it reaches us?”

“Fifteen minutes Captain.”

“Recall all fighters! Turn about and prepare for a blind hyperspace jump.”

“Sir, is that wise? A blind jump could land us in a star or something. Perhaps we should investigate the wormhole. It could contain valuable resources or a new species of alien.”

“Commander Needa, I am not interested in aliens at the moment. We must jump, or this ship could be lost forever.”

“Yes sir.” he said, nodding briskly. “Gray, Black, and Obsidian Squadrons are onboard. It will take Onyx and Dusk Squadrons a few more minutes to dock.”’ There was a look of apprehension on Needa’s face.

“We don’t have a few more minutes.” It was more of a statement than a question.
“No sir.” came the dejected reply.

“What about Ebony and Sable Squadrons?” inquired Captain Devaron, his eyes narrowed with worry.

“They hadn’t launched yet.” Devaron breathed a sigh of relief. At least some of his troops would survive.

“Carry on, Lieutenant.” Outwardly, Captain Devaron looked the perfect Imperial officer; calm, collected, and interested in his subordinates welfare. Inside, however, his mind was churning. Should he make the jump to lightspeed, and lose two dozen good men to either a wormhole or the Rebel base’s defenses? To wait might endanger the lives of his entire crew. “Prepare for lightspeed, Commander Needa. Order Onyx and Dusk to make best speed towards us. Wait until the last possible second before jumping. If they don’t make it...”

“Yes sir, I understand.” Needa saluted smartly and shouted to the Navigation technician. Just then, an iridescent blue bolt as large as a Corellian Corvette erupted from the cloaked base, striking the Furious amidships.

“Damage report!” shouted Devaron heatedly. “Was that an ion cannon?”

“Yes sir,” replied Lieutenant Halleck. “Just like the one at Hoth. Shields, weapons, and hyperdrive are off line. We still have sublight propulsion though.”

“All speed ahead towards Onyx and Dusk. Tractor them in as fast as possible!” Might as well save as many soldiers as possible, then. Maybe we’ll survive.

“Aye aye sir.”
The wormhole sped toward them. Furious had just enough time to retreive the last of it’s fighters before the great ship was swallowed by the ravening hole through space and time.

EDIT: Fixed the squadron names as per General Trelane's recommendation.

[General Trelane (Retired)]

“Gray, Black, and Obsidian Squadrons are onboard. It will take Onyx and Dusk Squadrons a few more minutes to dock.”

“What about Ebony and Sable Squadrons?”

“They hadn’t launched yet.”

"Order Ebony and Sable to make best speed towards us. Wait until the last possible second before jumping. If they don’t make it...”

"All speed ahead towards Ebony and Sable. Tractor them in as fast as possible!"

Seems you've mixed up your squadron references, no?

[Master_Baerne]

Sad but true. Thanks for telling me.