Darth Vader VS Jackie Chan

Isolder74 · Post by **Isolder74** » 2002-08-02 09:50pm

In an all out fight and Vader doesn't play dirty (no Force Choke) how would triumph?

Both get a lightsaber for fair play and this is in a maintainence area with lots of thing for Jackie to pick up as weapons.

Isolder74 · Post by **Isolder74** » 2002-08-02 10:04pm

this is the real one guys

Mr. B · Post by **Mr. B** » 2002-08-02 10:12pm

Jackie picks up ladder only to realize his windpipe has been crushed instantly by Darth Vader.

Isolder74 · Post by **Isolder74** » 2002-08-02 10:14pm

Mr. B wrote:Jackie picks up ladder only to realize his windpipe has been crushed instantly by Darth Vader.

Didn't I make it clear that there is no Force Choke!

Mr. B · Post by **Mr. B** » 2002-08-02 10:15pm

Isolder74 wrote:
Mr. B wrote:Jackie picks up ladder only to realize his windpipe has been crushed instantly by Darth Vader.
Didn't I make it clear that there is no Force Choke!

Alright then, Jackies choppy English forces DV to throw his lightsaber at him and cuts off his head.

Isolder74 · Post by **Isolder74** » 2002-08-02 10:16pm

Mr. B wrote:
Isolder74 wrote:
Mr. B wrote:Jackie picks up ladder only to realize his windpipe has been crushed instantly by Darth Vader.
Didn't I make it clear that there is no Force Choke!
Alright then, Jackies choppy English forces DV to throw his lightsaber at him and cuts off his head.

thats better

Howedar · Post by **Howedar** » 2002-08-02 10:17pm

With no ranged Force abilities, Vader is crushed by someone who isn't in a large cumbersome suit.

Isolder74 · Post by **Isolder74** » 2002-08-02 10:19pm

Howedar wrote:With no ranged Force abilities, Vader is crushed by someone who isn't in a large cumbersome suit.

there is ranged force abilities just no force choke ie any force power that will kill Jackie instantly

Post by **Mr Bean** » 2002-08-02 10:45pm

Ok Telekenies holds Jacky two feet of the ground but Mr Chan gets his foot under a near-by bucket and chuckes it at Vadar who drops him and slices it in half, Cue crazy fight scean with Jacky trying to out-fight the Lord of the Sith with a Broom VS that Lightsaber

The Sith does the first ever patented Sith Arse Kick(TM) Sending Jacky through near-by window(There always is) and along with the glass not cutting leavs Hm Dangling from say umm a line of a neary-by Window Clearner Platorm(Because there always is)
Vadar backflips onto platform gets ready to make sliced Jacky when it breaks platofrm falls Vadar falls fifty storys to his death(Or not maybe just dented) while Jacky some-how survives after boncing of the Fabric over the Building Entrance and landing in a Garabage Truck

Assuming Charater shields Operating at Full

Isolder74 · Post by **Isolder74** » 2002-08-02 10:48pm

Mr Bean wrote:Ok Telekenies holds Jacky two feet of the ground but Mr Chan gets his foot under a near-by bucket and chuckes it at Vadar who drops him and slices it in half, Cue crazy fight scean with Jacky trying to out-fight the Lord of the Sith with a Broom VS that Lightsaber

The Sith does the first ever patented Sith Arse Kick(TM) Sending Jacky through near-by window(There always is) and along with the glass not cutting leavs Hm Dangling from say umm a line of a neary-by Window Clearner Platorm(Because there always is)
Vadar backflips onto platform gets ready to make sliced Jacky when it breaks platofrm falls Vadar falls fifty storys to his death(Or not maybe just dented) while Jacky some-how survives after boncing of the Fabric over the Building Entrance and landing in a Garabage Truck

Assuming Charater shields Operating at Full

i love your posts bean your funny

Post by **Mr Bean** » 2002-08-02 10:48pm

I am what I am

tean-kun · Post by **tean-kun** » 2002-08-03 12:43am

Jackie's homous antics would confuse and slow down Vader, but Vader would eventually catch up.

Anarchist Bunny · Post by **Anarchist Bunny** » 2002-08-03 01:23am

Isolder74 wrote:this is the real one guys

Oh, well then, Vader will get some hard hits but overall Jackie will be covering the floor.

Isolder74 · Post by **Isolder74** » 2002-08-03 01:24am

anarchistbunny wrote:
Isolder74 wrote:this is the real one guys
Oh, well then, Vader will get some hard hits but overall Jackie will be covering the floor.

this means disregard the "Ghost" copy of this topic

Smiling Bandit · Post by **Smiling Bandit** » 2002-08-05 01:14pm

I can't resist:

Is this Jackie befre or after he drinks a quick swig of Jack Daniels?

Post by **Mr Bean** » 2002-08-05 03:38pm

Is this Jackie befre or after he drinks a quick swig of Jack Daniels

Gahh! I forgot all about that so I'll right round 2.

ROUND 1!
FIGHT!
Ok Vadar Telekeniesly holds Jacky two feet of the ground but Mr Chan gets his foot under a near-by bucket and chuckes it at Vadar who drops him and slices it in half, Cue crazy fight scean with Jacky trying to out-fight the Lord of the Sith with a Broom VS that Lightsaber

The Sith does the first ever patented Sith Arse Kick(TM) Sending Jacky through near-by window(There always is) and along with the glass not cutting leavs Hm Dangling from say umm a line of a neary-by Window Clearner Platorm(Because there always is)
Vadar backflips onto platform gets ready to make sliced Jacky when it breaks platofrm falls Vadar falls fifty storys to his death(Or not maybe just dented) while Jacky some-how survives after boncing of the Fabric over the Building Entrance and landing in a Garabage Truck

ROUND 2
FIGHT!
After escaping in the Garbage, Jacky takes a break back at the Hotel(He's never at home) and is just sitting down to dinner lifts up his fork as the guy with the giant mixing spoons and forks comes over with the salad he sees the Relfection of the Dark lord of Sith in the Fork he's holding, Jacky leaps over the table as Vadar slashs through it, Jacky accidently kicks the salad guy over catchs the fork and spoon by conciden as the salad falls right on Vadars head, Enraged he begins forcing throwing everything at Jacky he can get cue, Mad dash dodging ending with Chan backflip off the wall as around twenty knives stick in a decrative patter around him or just below him.
Ok Jacky charges Vadar who calmly swipes the spoon and fork in half leaving Jacky weaponless, he goes... umm throws the remain parts of the fork and spoon and Vadar Forces throws him...
Into the bar

Begin Drunken Master Fight Sceane untill Vadar finaly forces shoves him out a handy window and a five story fall to the pool below.

How will scean III turn out? Whoo knows?

Isolder74 · Post by **Isolder74** » 2002-08-05 05:56pm

Well what ever happens Jackie will end up with some kind of Golf Cart or something and try and run Vader over

Grand Admiral Thrawn · Post by **Grand Admiral Thrawn** » 2002-08-05 06:20pm

Jackie kicks at Vader, flying through the air. His foot is only inches away and is moving fast...

Then Vader activates his lightsaber.

Post by **Mr Bean** » 2002-08-05 06:35pm

Jackie kicks at Vader, flying through the air. His foot is only inches away and is moving fast...

Please Provide Cannon Evidance of Jacky Chan ever in his Real Life Launching a Frontal Assult on a Superor Fighter

I think your confusing Jacky Chan with Bruce Lee(Remeber Jackys goal is A. Stop the fight, B.Get away C.Win by accident if possible)

Isolder74 · Post by **Isolder74** » 2002-08-06 10:47am

Mr Bean wrote:
Jackie kicks at Vader, flying through the air. His foot is only inches away and is moving fast...
Please Provide Cannon Evidance of Jacky Chan ever in his Real Life Launching a Frontal Assult on a Superor Fighter

I think your confusing Jacky Chan with Bruce Lee(Remeber Jackys goal is A. Stop the fight, B.Get away C.Win by accident if possible)

Jackie is as energenic as a field mouse. He can keep up this fight as long as Vader lets it go. And Vader's Cape could be treaten to become an liability with jackie around.

IRG CommandoJoe · Post by **IRG CommandoJoe** » 2002-08-06 04:04pm

"Both get a lightsaber for fair play and this is in a maintainence area with lots of thing for Jackie to pick up as weapons."

Wouldn't Vader just do the same thing he did to Luke in TESB? Hurl a bunch of parts at him until he couldn't block them anymore. And Luke was able to sense them before they came, yet Jackie wouldn't be able to detect something from behind him. And with a lightsaber, he isn't Force-sensitive, meaning it would probably be useless. He'd probably throw it away and prefer a broom stick. But if Vader's armor on his HAND could block a BLASTER BOLT, Jackie Chan wouldn't stand a chance against Vader with his all-powerful broom stick.

Post by **Mr Bean** » 2002-08-06 05:02pm

But if Vader's armor on his HAND could block a BLASTER BOLT, Jackie Chan wouldn't stand a chance against Vader with his all-powerful broom stick.

Keep in mind invisible Armor does not protect you aginst Kinetic attacks(And remeber he blocked it with his hands, if his Armor where Blaster proof why just laugh and speak in german strong man voice about Solo and his puny pop gun

)

Also no amount of armor prevents you from being Triped

Isolder74 · Post by **Isolder74** » 2002-08-06 05:42pm

Mr Bean wrote:
But if Vader's armor on his HAND could block a BLASTER BOLT, Jackie Chan wouldn't stand a chance against Vader with his all-powerful broom stick.
Keep in mind invisible Armor does not protect you aginst Kinetic attacks(And remeber he blocked it with his hands, if his Armor where Blaster proof why just laugh and speak in german strong man voice about Solo and his puny pop gun )

Also no amount of armor prevents you from being Triped

Vader's armor is not blasterproof. Vader blocked the shot using the force. That is why he took the gun from Solo cause it takes alot of concentration to pull off this trick.

Isolder74 · Post by **Isolder74** » 2002-08-07 01:00pm

IRG CommandoJoe wrote:"Both get a lightsaber for fair play and this is in a maintainence area with lots of thing for Jackie to pick up as weapons."

Wouldn't Vader just do the same thing he did to Luke in TESB? Hurl a bunch of parts at him until he couldn't block them anymore. And Luke was able to sense them before they came, yet Jackie wouldn't be able to detect something from behind him. And with a lightsaber, he isn't Force-sensitive, meaning it would probably be useless. He'd probably throw it away and prefer a broom stick. But if Vader's armor on his HAND could block a BLASTER BOLT, Jackie Chan wouldn't stand a chance against Vader with his all-powerful broom stick.

this is something Vader could do. but since Jackie is good with weapons he should be able to use the Lightsaber. you don't have to be a Jedi to use a Lightsaber! though being a Jedi sure makes it easier

Post by **Alyrium Denryle** » 2002-08-07 04:37pm

Chan activates lightsaber and hides

vader senses his thoughts and finds him

Jackie swings furiously at vader, who, calmly parries each blow

sometime in the next 2 minutes jackie in his usual manner injures himself with his own or enemies weapon(usually on the hand) we kionow what that means...Jackies says ouch and shakes his hand only to notice his fingers are missing.

Vader force pushes him and cuts him neck to nuts.

StarDestroyer.Net BBS

Darth Vader VS Jackie Chan

In an all out fight and Vader doesn't play dirty (no Force Choke) how would triumph?

Darth Vader VS Jackie Chan

Amusing Jackie