God's Ph.D Turned down.

Post by **Coyote** » 2003-01-02 02:24am

This is why God never recieved a PhD:

1) He had only one major publication.
2) It was in Hebrew.
3) It had no references.
4) It wasn’t published in a refereed journal.
5) Some even doubt he wrote it by himself.
6) It may be true that he created the world, but what has he done since then?
7) His cooperative efforts have been quite limited.
8 ) The scientific community has had a hard time replicating his results.
9) He never applied to the ethics board for permission to use human subjects.
10) When one experiment went awry he tried to cover it by drowning his subjects.
11) When subjects didn’t behave as predicted, he deleted them from the sample.
12) He rarely came to class, just told students to read the book.
13) Some say he had his son teach the class.
14) He expelled his first two students for learning.
15) Although there were only 10 requirements, most of his students failed his test.
16) His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountaintop.

Darn God.

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2003-01-02 02:32am

A couple of more items:

- Routinely contradicts himself on facts.
- Routinely breaks his own rules.
- Seems to be trying to build some kind of cult of personality.
- Cannot defend his claims, so responds to criticism with violent outbursts.
- Blackmails students into giving him money.
- Gives bonus marks for mutilating male genitalia.
- Said to be pleased by animal-sacrifice rituals.
- No sense of humour; does not work well with others.

Peregrin Toker · Post by **Peregrin Toker** » 2003-01-02 09:40am

- Is known to suffer from extreme megalomania

jaeger115 · Post by **jaeger115** » 2003-01-02 02:09pm

Repeatedly sanctions the rape of women and young virgin girls in his class

Post by **Mr Bean** » 2003-01-02 02:21pm

-Has repeated failed to appear for sensativity training
-Kills those that disagree with him
-Kills those who agree with him too once in a while

Post by **Mr Bean** » 2003-01-02 02:23pm

Ooh one more

-In Entire 10,00 Years he was on staff he only show up for Six Offical Work Days

Andrew J. · Post by **Andrew J.** » 2003-01-02 02:24pm

-Fails to confirm his own existence.

Sir Sirius · Post by **Sir Sirius** » 2003-01-02 02:29pm

- Freaquent plagiorism.

Darth Yoshi · Post by **Darth Yoshi** » 2003-01-02 02:33pm

Encourages students to undermine the teachings of others, sometimes violently.

Post by **Alyrium Denryle** » 2003-01-02 03:09pm

-Frequently kills children and other innocents

-Comands the murders of homosexuals, adulterers, strangers, and other people

HemlockGrey · Post by **HemlockGrey** » 2003-01-02 06:38pm

- Gives bonus marks for mutilating male genitalia.

Circumcision is not exactly mutiliation...

BlkbrryTheGreat · Post by **BlkbrryTheGreat** » 2003-01-02 11:42pm

HemlockGrey wrote:
- Gives bonus marks for mutilating male genitalia.
Circumcision is not exactly mutiliation...

When you cut off anything that dosen't grow back, its considered mutilation. (Other then the umbilical cord of course)

-Also gives bonus marks to men for casterating women, so they cannot feel sexual pleasure, in third world nations.

Keevan_Colton · Post by **Keevan_Colton** » 2003-01-03 12:55am

Hmm.....

- Uses very sloppy techniques....most of his 'work' is rather random and seems to almost have happened by itself.....infact it points to his not actually having done anything....

Peregrin Toker · Post by **Peregrin Toker** » 2003-01-03 07:44am

- Never uses his real name, but the pseudonym "Jahveh Elohim"
- Believed by some to be a space alien
- Cannot explain why he is invisible
- Is good friends with the KKK

Darth Yoshi · Post by **Darth Yoshi** » 2003-01-03 02:24pm

Fired his assistant Satan without due cause.

kojikun · Post by **kojikun** » 2003-01-03 03:25pm

Actually Simon, Yahweh is the "official" name of god, but youre not supposed to say it because supposedly it envokes him and gives you power over him (some, god, huh?

) Which is why jews will replace Yahweh with Adonai when reading the Torah. But apparently the ancient Hebrews never gave good pronounciation notes on their writing so noone knows precisely how to say "YHWH". Elohim is hebrew for "those who came from the sky". Raelians may be fucked up, but their translation of ancient hebrew is correct. "im" is indeed the correct pluralisation in hebrew. Some would say its the royal "we" but no royal we is ever used in the third person. Noone talks about then Queen of England as "The Queens" or "Their majesties" even tho she might say "we".

HemlockGrey · Post by **HemlockGrey** » 2003-01-03 03:26pm

When you cut off anything that dosen't grow back, its considered mutilation. (Other then the umbilical cord of course)

True, but circumcision is done in almost all hospitals for health reasons so marking that against Him is reaching.

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2003-01-03 04:01pm

HemlockGrey wrote:True, but circumcision is done in almost all hospitals for health reasons so marking that against Him is reaching.

Actually, there are no health reasons for circumcision. All of the major pediatrics societies have admitted that it is a culturally motivated procedure with no real health benefits.

As for the "hygiene" issue, it is ridiculous; as one doctor pointed out, surgical mutilation is a poor substitute for regular use of soap and water.

No, sexual mutilation of helpless young boys is a Judeo-Christian atrocity which has no objective usefulness, and your appeals to popularity do not change that fact. It is God's fault (or more accurately, the fault of the people who invented him).

Post by **NecronLord** » 2003-01-03 04:22pm

Simon H.Johansen wrote: - Believed by some to be a space alien

What? that's my degree gone then...

HemlockGrey · Post by **HemlockGrey** » 2003-01-03 05:48pm

No, sexual mutilation of helpless young boys is a Judeo-Christian atrocity which has no objective usefulness, and your appeals to popularity do not change that fact. It is God's fault (or more accurately, the fault of the people who invented him).

Regardless, I would much rather be circumcised than not. Removal of the foreskin for easy cleaning does not equate to castration.

Further, it is a reach as a criticism because it does no objective harm anyway.

Tosho · Post by **Tosho** » 2003-01-03 06:09pm

As for circumsion here are two sites:

http://www.cirp.org

http://www.geocities.com/HotSprings/2754/

As for my own opinion, I don't care. If I have sons I'll let them decide when they're old enough to understand the consequences, personly I prefer being circumcised.

kojikun · Post by **kojikun** » 2003-01-03 06:28pm

Supposedly, uncircumcise guys are more sensitive. That would indicate that circumcision reduces pleasure during sex

Sir Sirius · Post by **Sir Sirius** » 2003-01-03 06:55pm

Regardless, I would much rather be circumcised than not.

Why?

Removal of the foreskin for easy cleaning does not equate to castration.

As if cleaning your penis is difficult with out being circumcised. I am NOT circumcised and I've never had any difficulty keeping little Sirius clean.

See http://www.mothersagainstcirc.org/fleis ... rcumcision started in America during the masturbation hysteria of the Victorian Era, when a few American doctors circumcised boys to punish them for masturbating. Victorian doctors knew very well that circumcision denudes, desensitizes, and disables the penis. Nevertheless, they were soon claiming that circumcision cured epilepsy, convulsions, paralysis, elephantiasis, tuberculosis, eczema, bed-wetting, hip-joint disease, fecal incontinence, rectal prolapse, wet dreams, hernia, headaches, nervousness, hysteria, poor eyesight, idiocy, mental retardation, and insanity.[/quote]Personaly I think that circumcition is a form of child abuse.

*EDIT*
Stumbled on to this: http://www.cirp.org/pages/parents/circ-why/

Today there is no medical justification for routine circumcision. It is therefore up to parents to recognise and protect the rights of their children as every individual has an inherent right to a whole and complete body.

Circumcision of unconsenting children is now a a Human Rights & Legal Issue.

jaeger115 · Post by **jaeger115** » 2003-01-03 08:05pm

I thought circumcision lessened the chances for some kind of cancer in the penis?

Sir Sirius · Post by **Sir Sirius** » 2003-01-03 08:58pm

jaeger115 wrote:I thought circumcision lessened the chances for some kind of cancer in the penis?

Just a myth.

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God's Ph.D Turned down.

God's Ph.D Turned down.

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