End of Evangelion - Final: From Her Heart (Chapter 6!)

Spanky The Dolphin · Post by **Spanky The Dolphin** » 2004-02-03 01:44am

Thanks. I'll make sure to get the revision up ASAP, and start work on Chapter Three sometime this week, hopefully Thursday or Friday (although FRI is more likely).

But for now, just keep those comments comming!

Spanky The Dolphin · Post by **Spanky The Dolphin** » 2004-02-07 06:17am

Just a note that while hardly anything major, Chapter Two has been updated as the final draft.

I've already begun work on Chapter Three, although I don't know when that will be finished. I will try not to delay it by such a degree as the previous chapters, though.

And not to sound like an attention whore, but remember to keep commenting, and to elaborate. No offence intended to anyone, but feedback is somewhat disencouraging and bland when it's all just the same stuff and so brief. They don't always have to be praiseful or congradulatory. They can be whatever you think about the work or questions or anything.

Spanky The Dolphin · Post by **Spanky The Dolphin** » 2004-08-09 09:53pm

I apologise for bringing this back up after so long, but I want to inform that writing for From Her Heart is being briefly put on hold for a little while, until I get past some writer's block and procrastination issues.

This story isn't dead: it's just coming out much more slowly then I wanted it to...

Pu-239 · Post by **Pu-239** » 2006-10-09 07:51am

Blah, more than 2 years w/o update

Spanky The Dolphin · Post by **Spanky The Dolphin** » 2006-10-10 01:51am

Yeah, I'm really, very sorry about that. I wasn't able to write while I was at school, so I put the whole thing on hold for a time, and while I have ocasionally gone back to it, I have never added much because of a hesitation with writer's block.

Currently I'm about halfway through writing the third chapter, though I can't access it due to both Uts and my computer being out of service (and I have it backed up on an external hard drive that I haven't connected this computer to). I still think about character, plot, and story matters every few days. I assure that as soon as I'm able to physically get back to it, I will. I just don't know when that will be. If push comes to shove I might just continue writing the third chapter cold and weave them together later.

This story is still not dead.

thejester · Post by **thejester** » 2006-10-10 04:05am

Spanky The Dolphin wrote:And not to sound like an attention whore, but remember to keep commenting, and to elaborate. No offence intended to anyone, but feedback is somewhat disencouraging and bland when it's all just the same stuff and so brief. They don't always have to be praiseful or congradulatory. They can be whatever you think about the work or questions or anything.

Well, here goes:

I've just read the whole thing and I'll say that my feelings are mixed. Your writing is fine and you've captured the mood well enough. Your characterisation is good, but some notes don't ring true (complicated I guess by the way the whole landscape has changed post-3rd impact); the way Shinji talked about Misato, for example, seemed to be a bit more sincere and open then he'd be, especially with Asuka. And Asuka herself seems to be being a bit soft on Shinji; but you 'know' her a lot better than I do, so I'll trust your judgement.

I guess my biggest problem with it, though, is that it's Evangelion. I mean, I feel like it's sacrosanct, especially the ending - as much as I crave to know what happened afterwards (and desperately want a happy ending) it seems wrong to go there.

Re-reading this, I come off incredibly negative; but I would really, really like to see you finish this. I'm hooked, despite any misgivings, so you better goddamn well deliver.

Spanky The Dolphin · Post by **Spanky The Dolphin** » 2006-10-10 04:35am

Thanks for the feedback.

With the sort of hindsight I have now, in combination with my natually improving understanding of Eva, I do agree with you about "some notes not ringing true." Overall it comes down to either gradual re-understanding of a character, discovering some new bit of information, or just re-reading a passage and saying to myself, "what the hell was I thinking?" They may not be all of the same ones that you've taken into consideration, but I do think that there is some room for some slight alteration and revision here and there.

I also agree with your sentiment regarding the whole thing of an ending after the end of Eva, which is why I decided to write it, though it also ties into why I generally don't read fanfiction anymore.

Again, thank you much for the feedback.

thejester · Post by **thejester** » 2006-10-31 04:47am

*kicks from fifty*

We ever going to get an update?

Spanky The Dolphin · Post by **Spanky The Dolphin** » 2006-11-02 11:43pm

After my computer comes back from getting fixed. Right now I can estimate that it'll be up by the end of November, most likely, if not a little earlier.

thejester · Post by **thejester** » 2006-11-03 02:33am

Excellent.

Spanky The Dolphin · Post by **Spanky The Dolphin** » 2006-11-07 06:52pm

...Or possibly early to mid December. I really have no idea when I'll get it back.

Spanky The Dolphin · Post by **Spanky The Dolphin** » 2007-02-05 01:31am

After an absence of three years...

After going without an update for more then a year and a half...

IT'S BACK!!

This past week I finally dusted off and returned to writing Chapter Three of my ever so neglected fanfic, and was able to hammer out 3700 words, completing the second half.

I think it might have suffered a little due to such a long interim between working on it, and to be honest I'm really only about 90% happy with the second half (as it is), but I was set on getting it finished as soon as possible, and it does go in the same direction I wanted it to.

(EDIT: Actually, scratch that. Doing the read-through I don't really have any problems with the actual content.)

The chapter is essentially totally finished and spellchecked. I just have to perform a read-through and do some rewrite touches on any bits and pieces that I don't like or seem a little too rough. Look for the actual chapter to be posted within the next twenty-four hours.

After that I plan to get right on working on Chapter Four, and I'm going to see if I can try a difference approach to planning it out and getting it written, so I can stay on track.

Spanky The Dolphin · Post by **Spanky The Dolphin** » 2007-02-05 07:17pm

Okay, here's Chapter Three. I'm perfectly satisfied with it now, and I'd like to apologise for the hideous delay.

As always, reactions and feedback are greatly appreciated:

Neon Genesis Evangelion
The End of Evangelion
Final: From Her Heart

Written by Spanky The Dolphin 27 February 2004 - 05 February 2007

Legal Disclaimer: Neon Genesis Evangelion Copyright GAiNAX / Project Eva. - TV Tokyo

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Chapter Three: Rites of Passage

TOKYO-3 - 2015 AD

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The numbers on the display mechanism ticked by as Elevator No. 55 traveled upward inside NERV Headquarters and its two young passengers rode in a tense silence. Rei Ayanami stood to the right in front of the lift doors while Asuka Langley Soryu leaned against the opposite far wall. Asuka tried her best to tolerate having to ride along with "Wonder Girl," as she derisively referred to the First Children: Rei was the last person in the entire world Asuka wanted to see that day. She was worse than Shinji.

The only sound audible in the lift besides those of the external motors and other mechanical parts responsible for carrying the metal room upward was that of the display as it rapidly ticked away the seconds, resembling a miniature bolt action with each movement. It was all that punctuated the girls' environment for an agonisingly long time.

"If you don't open your mind to her," Rei finally broke their silence, "your Eva will not move."

Asuka turned toward Rei and snapped back at her. "Are you saying that I'm shutting myself out?!"

"Yes, because your Eva has her own mind."

"The robot does?" Asuka asked in mocked disbelief.

Rei was silent for a moment before she replied. "You're aware of it, aren't you?"

Asuka let out a quick laugh. "I don't know what happened to make you start talking to me. It must be an omen of a disaster or something!" Rei stood still and she continued, raising her voice as she spoke. "What?! Are you happy that I can't pilot my Eva?! Don't worry! When an Angel comes, our Invincible Shinji will destroy it anyway! We don't need to fight! They only need Shinji!"

Rei didn't respond, which angered Asuka even more. She sighed in frustration.

"When a wind-up doll like you starts being sympathetic to me, I've really hit rock bottom."

"I am not a doll," Rei replied.

"Shut up!" Asuka snapped, "You do anything you're ordered to, don't you? Anything Commander Ikari orders, you do it: just like a pretty little emotionless doll."

Rei pressed the lift's emergency stop button, bringing the small room to a sudden halt from its ascent. The blue-haired girl then quickly turned around and thrusted her face directly in front of Asuka's.

"I am NOT a doll," she repeated, this time in a stern tone that Asuka had never heard her use before. Asuka was momentarily taken aback until she regained her composure.

"You don't know a thing about me," Rei continued. "You don't have any idea how I think, how I feel, or who I am. Nothing at all."

Asuka took a step back to increase the distance between them. "I know damn well enough that you don't have a life, Wonder Girl."

Her comment made Rei even more upset. "No, I don't have a life." Asuka noticed that Rei was starting to visibly shake in anger and clench her teeth as she spoke. "I wake up, I take a shower, I get dressed, I go to school, I go home, I take another shower, I put on my pajamas, and I go to bed. Sometimes I come here for tests or on duty, and sometimes I go over to Major Katsuragi's apartment." She forced out a long breath and took another step forward towards the redheaded girl. "But that's as far as I ever get out. I don't have friends to hang out with, books to read, TV shows to watch, or even a phone. I just sit around in my bare concrete room. Sometimes I sit in the middle of my room for hours, just waiting until I have to go to bed, because I don't have anything else to do." Rei placed both hands around Asuka's arms just above her elbows as she narrowed her eyes and leaned forward. "I have a pathetic, empty life, but don't dare call me a doll."

"Take your hands off me." Asuka struggled against Rei's grip, but the First Children held on too tight for her to break free. Her irritation was gradually being replaced with uneasiness.

Rei pushed Asuka up against the back wall of the lift as she took another step forward. "No, you're going to listen to me. You don't know what it's like to be me--what I've been through. I live every day with my emotions paralysed. Simple things that you take for granted are impossible for me. I've never laughed or cried in my life. I have to be told when to smile because I'm unable to on my own." Rei's eyes began to fill with tears and her voice started to crack as her body continued to tremble. "I've only been aware of love once, and I was absolutely dumbfounded as it blossomed through me." She bowed her head and started to cry.

"Um . . . Ayanami, I'm not really very comfortable with this right now." Asuka's voice wavered with a nervous tone as she looked down at the pale girl's hands gripping her arms. "Maybe we could talk about this later."

"There's nothing for us to talk about!" Rei snapped and glared up at Asuka with a tear-stained face that was suddenly twisted with rage. "Since when have you ever been interested in listening to me or cared about my feelings? Do you expect me to believe that only now you're starting to care?"

"I'm only trying to be nice to you."

"'Nice to me?!'" Rei thrust her face to within centimetres of Asuka's, her red eyes like daggers staring into those of the increasingly scared girl. "You've never been nice to me. You've been mean since the day we first met!"

"That's not true," Asuka said. "I--I tried to be friends with you. I really wanted to. You were being so . . . so difficult about it that eventually I just gave up." Asuka started to feel the beginnings of tears form in her eyes as she looked back at the horrible thing Rei was becoming that she had never seen before.

"Oh, that's how you treat everything, isn't it?" Rei replied as she tightened her grip around Asuka's arms. "You try as hard as you can until it gets too inconvenient for you. You never wanted us to be friends. You just wanted another puppet for your theatre, so you could have yet another person to gloat at when you succeeded and to insult whenever you were outperformed in something. The only person you've ever cared about was yourself, you self-absorbed bitch!"

"Rei, please, you're hurting me . . ."

"Good," Rei snapped back, "it's time you finally got your turn." She released Asuka's arms and quickly wrapped her hands tightly around the girl's neck.

"Ah--Ayanami, no!" Asuka shouted between chokes. She never would have guessed that such a thin-framed girl like Rei could be so strong. "Stop it--Rei, please stop! Why are you doing this?!"

"Why? Because I should have done it a long time ago, that's why! I'm not going to let such a cruel excuse for a human being like you live a second longer."

"No, Rei! Please--I'm sorry!" Asuka shouted between chokes. "I--I'm sorry I was so mean to you, please forgive me! Please stop!"

"IT'S TOO LATE TO APOLOGISE, ASUKA!!" Rei was screaming at her now, and her face turned as red as the Second Children's.

"Ung--no!" Asuka shouted as loud as she possibly could with Rei's hands around her neck. "Somebody help me! Kaji, Misato, anyone--SHINJI, PLEASE HELP!!"

"Nobody can hear you!" Rei replied, a possessed grin slowly spreading across her face. "Your Invincible Shinji can't rescue you this time. In here it's just you and me!" Asuka grabbed Rei's arms in an attempt to pry them from her neck, but Rei responded by tightening her grip and slowly lifting Asuka's body so that her toes barely touched the floor. "Don't resist! Just relax and look forward to enjoying death. I've already gone, so it'll just be you and me. We'll all have so much fun together, Asuka!"

Asuka could just barely hear what Rei was saying, her mind already taken over by a terrified panic. She continued to scream out in fragments. "NO, PLEASE GOD--REI!! HELP ME!! STOP, SHINJI, PLEASE!! DON'T KILL ME, REI!! I'M SORRY, REI STOP!! NOOO!!"

**********

"AAAH!! NO!! GOD, PLEASE DON'T KILL ME!! STOP, REI!!" Asuka screamed as she shot up in bed, her eyes still shut tightly in fear. She opened her eyes and her true surroundings quickly came into view, but took slightly longer to register mentally. "I--I, I, I . . . I . . ." She breathed hard as she gradually came to her senses, but suddenly she screamed and began to cry hysterically, holding her head in her hands. It was all simply too much for her to handle.

Her bedroom door suddenly slid open with a snap as Shinji, dressed in shorts and a T-shirt, bolted inside and ran up to her bed. "Asuka!" he shouted as he grabbed her shoulders. "Asuka, what happened? Are you alright?"

Asuka's crying stopped for a moment as she looked at the boy seated next to her at the edge of her bed. Tears streamed down her face as she pulled Shinji close to her and embraced him tightly. She buried her face into his shoulder and began to cry again.

"Oh, Shinji, thank God!" she sobbed. "I couldn't do anything, it was so real! Rei was--she, she was..."

"It's okay, Asuka" Shinji replied softly. "Calm down, you're alright. It was just a dream." He held on to her as she gradually began to calm down. Eventually she lifted her head from his shoulder and they let go of each other. Asuka sniffled and wiped the remaining tears from her eyes with her blanket.

"I'm sorry, Shinji."

"No, it's alright," he replied. "I'm just relieved it was only a dream and not something more serious. We've been through a lot in the past few days." Shinji then remained silent until he thought Asuka had regained more of her composure. "Do you need anything?"

"I don't think so," Asuka said. She could barely see him in the dark illumination leaking in through the windows, but what little light was reflected in his eyes and showed an expression of genuine concern while his facial features revealed that he was smiling in relief.

Shinji let out a tired sigh and rose from the bed. "I'm going back to bed."

"No, don't!" Asuka called out. Shinji stopped and turned around to face her, as the girl realised how loud she just was. "Um, could you please stay here," she blushed lightly while speaking at a lower volume. "I--I don't know if I'll be able to go back to sleep by myself."

Asuka's request surprised him at first. The proposition made him nervous, but on the other hand, he didn't want to upset her. "Alright," he finally replied, "I'll stay, but I'll need to get my futon. I'll be right back."

She nodded and with a brisk step Shinji walked out of her room. Asuka drew her legs close to her body as she waited, resting her chin against her knees. As she breathed she found that she was still shaking somewhat, but much less than when she first woke up. She heard the sound of her door sliding shut and looked up to see Shinji carrying a futon, pillow, and blanket, which he began to spread out on the floor next to her bed. Asuka lay back down and turned onto her side, watching Shinji finish setting up his sleeping arrangements for the rest of the night. When he finished, Shinji lay down and got himself comfortable, pulling his blanket over himself.

Asuka dropped her hand down over the side of her bed and lightly touched Shinji's hand, stroking the back of it with her fingertips. When Shinji lifted his up, she closed hers around it, and the two of them held each other's hand for a while. "Thank you, Shinji," Asuka said quietly under her breath.

"Ah-- Um, you're welcome," Shinji replied. Within a few minutes, he released her hand and let his gently fall back down to the floor. Asuka drew her hand back up and exhaled slowly.

<He came to rescue me, my Invincible Shinji . . .> she thought as she drifted gradually back to sleep.

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From the very instant one of them touched him on the shoulder his terror subsided and he was immediately bathed in a feeling of absolute ecstasy. It was like nothing he had ever felt before in his entire life. He was surrounded by nothing but an infinite blackness and could no longer feel any part of his body, but he didn't care. So immersed was he in a blissful experience of happiness and peace that it was impossible to care about anything else. It could have lasted for only a moment or extended on for eternity, because he had no sense of time. But just as suddenly as it began, it ended, and the terrifying panic returned into his mind.

He almost experienced an overload as input from his senses flashed back into perspective. The absolute nothingness was replaced with the sensation and pressure of being underwater, and the familiar aquatic drone filled his ears. "Get away--don't touch me!" he attempted to scream, but only a gurgled mumble escaped from his mouth, which quickly filled with the taste of blood and snapped his mind into the present. He opened his eyes to discover a dark red watery surrounding, weakly illuminated from above, and while he strangely had no difficulty breathing, his instincts forced him to surface.

Shigeru Aoba's head broke through the surface of the sea of LCL and he attempted to breathe, which triggered his gag reflex. He choked as the LCL in his lungs came back up and returned to its source. It was a short time until the sound of his heart stopped pounding in his ears and his breathing returned to a normal rate that Aoba began to take in his environment: in the sky above him was the dim illumination of twilight that seemed to have no specific point of origin, appearing to be part of the sky itself. This was the only familiar aspect, as everything else in this world was new and alien. Splitting the entire sky in half was a distinct red line, while the waning Moon above was marred by a dark stain. In the distance of the sea he could see the splitted head of a giant pale corpse with a dull stun of an expression frozen across the remains of her face. He recognised it instantly as Lilith. As Ayanami. Behind him was the sandy shore and the broken ruins of Tokyo-3's Ceiling City surrounded by the bowl of the mountainous valley.

<So it failed,> Aoba thought as he bobbed in the LCL, <Complementation was ultimately rejected, so Instrumentality failed. Is this the world that Man resisted temptation for?> He made the swim to shore and stood on the sand, pulling away the wet strips of hair that clung across his face. Aoba was aware of his nakedness, but wasn't very concerned of it. The small waves crashing behind him provided the only intrusion of sound into his surroundings as he surveyed them for a second time. It was a small glint of metal amongst a group of wooden boards that caught his attention, and when he walked up to examine it closer, provided the first evidence for at least one other survivor.

"Major Katsuragi's cross," Aoba said aloud as he looked at the charm that rested on its bent nail hook. "From her necklace. Could she really. . . " His spirits were raised for a moment before reality brought him to the most likely conclusion and he shook his head. <No, she couldn't have. Shinji arrived at the Cage alone, and the Major never would have gotten separated from him without putting herself in front. She died before it started.> He let out a sigh as he looked out at the City ruins. <But this being here must mean that Shinji survived, at least. Somewhere out amongst all that.> He looked back down at the small cross hanging on the board and the answer immediately came to him. <Shinji must have gone back home, to what's familiar.> Aoba reached out, barely touching the small icon before he hesitated and drew his arm away. He left the artifact as it was, and began to devise a path in the general direction of Misato Katsuragi's apartment building.

<Hope I find something to cover myself,> Aoba thought, becoming aware of his nakedness for a second time as he began to walk.

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The front window of the convenience store exploded inward as the cinder block passed through the space it previously occupied and broke into several pieces upon impact with the tile floor. A week before, an alarm would have begun its electronic scream from such vandalism, but in the city's current powerless state remained silent. The thrower carefully stepped through the newly opened space, shards of glass cracking and grinding under the weight of his shoes as he made his way to the locked door. Shinji was relieved to find that the door could be unlocked manually from the inside, because he wasn't looking forward to the possibility of him having to carry his companion or supplies through the window. The lock clicked and Shinji pulled the door open to let his partner in crime inside.

Asuka cautiously stepped into the dark store. It had been two days since she reluctantly accepted her pitiful fate in this new world. Her left eye was still under heavy bandage as it gradually improved in condition. Asuka was dressed in a long gray vinyl coat that once belonged to Misato and didn't fit her smaller frame very well. She found it deep within Misato's closet just the other day, noting that she had never seen her wear it once during her stay because it must have been at least ten years out of style: loose-fitting and almost ankle-length with a heavy, upright collar, big front pockets, and an overlapping fastening strip with huge buttons. It was a faux-military style like nothing any military force ever issued. But with a light sweater and pair of slacks that she had never previously worn, let alone removed the price tags, it was warm. Shinji, dressed in his typical school clothes and a light jacket, stepped around Asuka and picked up two hand baskets, giving one to her.

"I'll take care of getting water and any heavy stuff," he said. "Are you sure you're up to help with this?"

"Yes," Asuka replied with a tone of irritation as she took the basket from him. "It's not like it requires so much effort." She walked ahead of Shinji, down into the closest aisle and began inspecting items in the dim light. "Besides, if it was just you down here, you'd end up getting all the wrong things."

"Well, make sure to avoid anything that requires refrigeration or expires too soon."

"Obviously." Asuka didn't even bother to look back at him as she dropped a couple packages of cookies into her basket. <Does that idiot think I'm stupid?> she thought to herself while browsing over boxes of various snacks. <What the hell would he know about survival that I wouldn't? I got the top training in Germany and America while he just came running when his daddy called him. He wasn't a real pilot: I was!> She picked up one of the various items on the shelf and turned it over, without actually reading what it contained. <He better not expect me to come groveling at his feet at every problem with "Oh, Shinji, whatever will we do!" or crap like that any time soon like he's some kind of hero or provide him with-->

"Asuka, don't just take snacks, we need some real food."

"Huh?" Asuka turned around toward Shinji, who was standing in the parallel aisle. "What are you talking about?"

Shinji pointed downward. "We don't need so many cookies or candy, especially those salty crackers." Asuka glanced down at the contents of her basket, which she had absentmindedly already almost stuffed with junk food. Her head shot back up and she narrowed her eyes at the boy in front of her.

"Mind your own damn business, stupid Shinji!" she shouted while drawing the basket closer to her body, as if protecting it.

"Asuka, put those back!" Shinji replied. When he didn't flinch or cower back as she expected him to, Asuka grew more agitated.

"NO!!" she yelled. "Don't you dare te--!!"

"ASUKA SHUT UP AND CALM DOWN!!" Shinji slammed his fist down on an empty space of the top shelf in front of him, knocking some of the nearby items onto the floor and nearly breaking the metal frame supporting it. Asuka's mouth remained open without coming from it any longer. The plastic basket dropped to her side with her arm, and she became aware of the blood rushing through her ears in synch with her racing heart as she looked into Shinji's eyes, how they glared at her in stern anger. Gradually she closed her mouth, turned around, and began returning all but one of the items in her basket back to the shelves wherever she could find space. Shinji released the tension in his body as he watched Asuka walk down the aisle and into the next one. "Asuka, I--"

"I'll do better, Shinji," Asuka interrupted in a quiet monotone, "don't worry about me." Her face burned red--she couldn't stand him looking at her. <Oh my God, what the hell just happened?> she thought. <Why did I just explode like that over something so . . . so . . . stupid?> As she looked over and selected more preferable items for her basket she glanced out of the corner of her eye over to where Shinji stood, finding that he had turned around and moved further up his aisle. <He was right, anyway. I wasn't paying any attention to what I was doing, but I lost control of myself when he confronted me about it. Was it because it was him?>

She thought about her behavior towards Shinji over the last few days. How she had been treating him and reacting to what he has said or done, to her or in general. She remembered the emotions she felt back on the first night; how for such a brief moment, she wanted to kill him for dropping her, even though if he had not, she could have been seriously injured. That she thanked him and felt such gratitude--for what she still had no idea--after they finally reached Misato's apartment. How she slapped him harder than ever before the afternoon she woke up, just to say that they were even for what happened on the first night. Her request for him to stay and talk out on the balcony while she sorted her life out. That she kept calling him "stupid Shinji" for trivial annoyances. And for last night. <I haven't gotten along with him very well since we first met,> she thought, <but what the hell is wrong with me lately? I've been all over the map with him. I've been pulling and pushing him when all he's done is try to help me.>

"Shinji," she called out to him, "I . . . I'm sorry."

He turned around to face her. "Huh?"

"For getting so upset. I don't know what came over me."

"It's alright," he replied. "I shouldn't have yelled at you because of it."

"No, you should have. I was acting like such a child, and needed to be brought in line." Talking to Shinji then began to fill Asuka with a torrent of mixed emotions. She felt relieved for getting the issue off her chest rather than let it fester inside of her, until it grew bitter enough to cause a greater confrontation in the future. She was filled with what she first thought was sadness, but it turned out to be empathy.

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An intact bottle of glass cracked, then shattered as his foot pressed down on top of it with all his weight, and Aoba yet again felt fortunate to have found both a pair of boots and pants so early in his journey. He had discovered them amid the wreckage of a JSSDF heavy fighter, apparently forced to make a crash landing during the assault on NERV. The craft was moderately damaged, not only from the crash but also from anti-aircraft fire, but it was safe enough to enter through the opened cockpit. Inside Aoba found the crumpled uniforms of two JSSDF pilots and one soldier. He had taken the pants from the soldier and the boots from one of the pilots, because of the reputation that JSSDF pilots were issued slightly more comfortable boots than those worn by the ground forces. Both items were still quite damp from the sudden and unplanned departure of their previous owners, but such trivialities didn't bother him much at the time. Before departing from the wreckage, he also helped himself to the soldier's sidearm and spare ammunition, stuffing them into his pockets.

Aoba established his balance on top of a small hill of rubble that remained of a women's clothing store and turned to survey his progress so far. It was already mid-morning, with the stained Moon gradually fading into the light blue sky as the Sun continued to climb upward, while the band of red still streaked overhead, fainter but still intact. Aoba had already made it across what used to surround the Ceiling City, and was now close to the surrounding hills of the valley. From such a distance he could no longer see the shore that served as his returning steps into the world, but the sea of LCL itself was still in view, although the sound of its waves had disappeared before he had reached the heavy fighter.

It soon came to him after a moment, the feeling that he had never before felt so alone in his life. He recalled the weekend that he spent bound, gagged, and blindfolded in one of the dormitory closets during high school as part of a hazing ritual for one of the men's clubs, and how he was so terrified that he had passed out sometime in the middle of it. Even a weekend like that so many years ago didn't compare to what he was experiencing in the present. There was no feeling that it would all be over soon, where he could just laugh away his uneasiness and return to regular life and routine after it was all done and behind him.

His thoughts returned suddenly to Major Katsuragi's cross back at the shore. He wondered if he was right in leaving it there, and a small part of him, in the back of his mind, lingered on the fact that he should have gone back and taken it with him, that there was something wrong about just leaving it hanging on that bent nail, something almost . . . morbid about it.

<Most grave markers have something morbid about them,> he thought to himself after a moment. He thought back to when he was nine years old, and of all the headstones in cemeteries he had to see, back to the time after that single terrible day and those that followed, those of family, friends, and people he barely knew or didn't know at all. In particular he remembered those of his best friend while growing up, and of his cousin's family. He also recalled that in the weeks and months following, there were many people that couldn't bother to deal with markers, let alone even burials on occasion.

Aoba then shook away this line of thought, considering his surroundings. He pulled the gun out of his pocket and ejected the magazine, seeing that it was fully loaded, then snapped it back into the grip and slipped it back in his side pocket. Aoba took one last look back in the direction of the shore, with the split visage of Lilith dominating the view, then let out a tired sigh before continuing on.

----------

Asuka set her sixth basket down on the cart, one that Shinji found in the back of the store, and picked up an empty seventh from the diminished stack near the door. The aching in her legs had progressed beyond what she could stand, and she felt her knees beginning to buckle under her weight. She set the basket down on the counter next to the register and made her way behind the structure, slowly taking a seat in a chair positioned up against the wall in the corner. <I can't believe it's still like this,> she thought, rubbing her knees as they burned through the fabric of her slacks. <It's been five whole days since I got--since that day.>

She pulled her hair back over her shoulders and noticed that the back of her neck was beginning to perspire. Unzipping her coat, she could feel a small wave of heat roll off her body, tinged with the scent of stale sweat, reminding her that she hadn't had a proper bath in days, actually longer she quickly realised, due to her hospitalisation before that day. After only two days, she was already getting sick of scrubbing herself with only bottled water, out on the balcony naked. Turning her head, she began to absentmindedly take inventory of the various items behind the counter, taking note of a couple of binders, a price gun and with extra reel, an opened pack of batteries, a curled video game magazine, a trash container surrounded by a number of wrappers, and numerous pens. The thought of checking the register for money crossed her mind just as Shinji walked up and put his basket down on the cart with the others.

"Are you okay?"

Asuka glanced up at him. "Fine, just tired and a little hot."

"I told you that coat wasn't a good idea."

"I couldn't find my jacket," she replied in an annoyed tone. "Besides, it was freezing this morning and you were crazy to expect me to go out in just this." She pointed at her sweater as if punctuating her statement.

"I wasn't cold at all."

Asuka folded her arms over her chest in frustration. "Boys are so thickheaded, that's why they're never cold."

<Maybe girls are just oversensitive,> Shinji thought to himself in reply, knowing exactly where that would have led the conversation if he had said it aloud. Instead he chose to change the subject. "Do your legs still hurt?"

"Yeah, a lot." Asuka became aware of her burning knees again, noticing that the heat was then spreading to her thighs. "I didn't know they would so much."

Shinji looked at her blankly. "It hasn't even been a week."

"I know!" Asuka exclaimed in a tone that begged if Shinji could be any denser. "I just assumed that it wouldn't take so long. I've never been hurt this badly before."

Shinji thought for a moment. "Maybe later we might be able to look for--"

"What? A wheelchair? I'm not going to spend my time being pushed around like a feeble old woman."

"I was going to say we could look for a cane."

"Oh . . ." Asuka replied, stunned. She blushed, genuinely appreciative of the sentiment. "That'd actually be nice." An awkward silence elapsed before Shinji spoke.

"I think we might have enough things to last us for quite a while. "We can wait a while if you're not ready."

"No I think I'm fine," Asuka said as she lifted herself out of the chair. "Let's go."

----------

The wheels of the cart rattled loudly, the effect exaggerated due to the silence of the inactive urban canyon surrounding them as Shinji pushed it in the middle of the mostly empty street, steering around the occasional vehicle, which were scattered on the pavement in parked and abandoned positions. Occasionally the cart would run over and crack the few pieces of broken glass and debris scattered around, and several times Shinji nearly tripped stepping on rocks. Asuka was walking behind him at a slower pace, her shoes audibly clacking in clockwork sequence.

"Can you slow down?" she huffed. "It's not like we have to get back to the apartment immediately."

Shinji slowed the cart to a stop, making sure that none of the baskets toppled over, and waited as Asuka caught up to him. When she reached the cart she pushed a stack of baskets away from the side and gingerly sat down on the edge. "Asuka," Shinji said annoyed, "I'm not going to push you on the cart."

"I didn't expect you to," she shot back as she stretched her legs out and began rubbing her thighs, which had become as hot as her knees, "I just need to rest again. I've been on my feet all morning!"

Shinji tuned the sound of her voice out of his mind just as she exclaimed "stupid Shinji!" and glanced up. It was midday and the sky was a deep solid blue, with only a few thin wisps of clouds slowly drifting by. The sun shown brightly above them, drowning out but still not completely eliminating the band of blood that it intersected. The effect was enough to mar what would have been a pristine image of the sky before it all happened.

"I wonder if that's ever going to disappear," he wondered aloud.

"What is?" Asuka asked.

He pointed upwards. "That ring up in the sky."

"Oh Shinji, who cares!" Asuka said dismissively as she raised her hands over her head. She let out a strained groan and thrusted her chest forward, loudly popping her back. "Damn it, first it's my legs, now--" She interrupted herself with a gasp. "Shinji, look!"

"What?" He looked down at her.

"Down the street," she said and he looked in the direction she was pointing. "There's somebody walking towards us."

The figure was still too distant to make out any features other than that the individual was wearing black pants and was without a shirt, so Shinji assumed that it was a man. The man stopped suddenly and made an exaggerated wave above his head while shouting something that was too unintelligible from his distance. As he began to run towards them Shinji was able to confirm that he was a man, with long hair.

"Who is it?" Asuka asked blankly, in a combined state of shock and confusion.

Shinji hesitated before recognition of the man fully dawned on him. "It's Aoba-san!"

---------------
The End of Evangelion
Final: From Her Heart

Chapter 03: Three little indians.
---------------

"Hey!"

Aoba waved and shouted to the pair after noticing them. He immediately knew who the standing figure was, since in his mind there could be no other choice, and made a guess regarding the identity of the seated individual. Sticking his gun in a back pocket, he took off running in their direction.

"Shinji . . . Asuka," he panted as he came to a stop in front of them. "It's incredible . . . to see you two."

"Aoba!" Asuka said as she stood up and gestured for him to take her seat. He dropped down on the cart, making a number of the basketed items clatter against each other. Shinji noticed the handle of the gun sticking out of his back pocket. Asuka took a seat on the street pavement, her legs spread out in front of her. "Where did you come from?" she asked when he had caught his breath, noticing the scent of LCL from his body and pants.

"I just got back," he replied as he reached around and pulled a canned soft drink from one of the baskets behind him. He held it up and Shinji nodded an affirmative, then opened the tab and took a long draft of the contents from it. "Actually I came back around dawn." He took another drink and looked at Shinji. "I saw Major Katsuragi's cross on the shore, so I knew that you survived." He turned back to face Asuka again. "But it's amazing to see you alive. I never would have guessed that you could have survived that--" He cut himself off as her expression became grim. "Sorry."

"What happened to you?" Shinji asked Aoba. "I mean in Third Impact."

"JSSDF soldiers stormed the Control Centre. We were dealing with that while Unit Two engaged the Eva Series. After, um, Asuka's defeat they pulled back and withdrew. We got hit pretty hard and lost a lot of people. From what we could determine they might have wiped out NERV completely. When Unit One appeared and the Eva Series initiated Third Impact, those who survived couldn't do much else besides monitor the situation. We weren't prepared for that: suddenly nothing made any sense at all! Vice Commander Fuyutsuki seemed to know . . .

"Near the end--I don't know how to explain this--but suddenly there were all these . . . clones of Ayanami. I don't know what you'd call them, but they were everywhere, completely naked and surrounding me. I couldn't handle it, it was just the last straw and I panicked, hid under my console like a scared child. One of them put her hand on my shoulder and everything just stopped, like for an instant I didn't even exist anymore but felt . . . like this combination of pure joy and comfort. Then just as fast I suddenly woke up out in that LCL. How much time has passed?"

"Five days," Shinji replied.

"Five days? Have you seen anybody else?"

"No," said Asuka, "you're the first."

"I see," Aoba said. "So for all you know you've been the only two people alive." He lowered his head and ran his hand through his hair, taking several slow, deep breathes, and for a moment he looked like he was ill. Asuka and Shinji glanced at each other in the awkward silence before Aoba spoke again. "Where are you living right now?"

"Misato-san's apartment," Shinji said. "There's no power, so the elevators don't work."

"There wouldn't be," Aoba said, taking another sip from his can, "because the JSSDF destroyed the city's main power plants during the attack. That must be rough, using the stairs."

"I can't," Asuka said quietly.

"Huh?" Aoba glanced at her.

"The stairs aren't too bad for me," Shinji replied, "but Asuka's still pretty weak. She was able to make it down them this morning, but she probably won't be able to go back up by herself."

"I can carry her," Aoba said, "no problem. Were you going to leave the cart on the ground floor and take baskets up as you needed them?" Shinji nodded an affirmative and Aoba took another sip from his soft drink, suddenly taking a long look at Asuka.

"What?" she asked, cocking an eyebrow in puzzlement.

Aoba quickly drained the remainder of his can. "I haven't seen a girl wear a coat like that since I was thirteen."

----------

Asuka's state of mind was a mix of relief and embarrassment. She was thankful that she didn't have to climb the apartment complex's stairs herself, but she thought it humiliating to be carried like an invalid damsel, held close and securely by the shirtless Aoba: in many ways her situation reminded her of the covers of vapid escapist romance novels she noticed in American airports on occasion. Shinji followed a few steps behind them, carrying a pair of baskets in each hand, his breathing somewhat more laboured than Aoba's, which Asuka could feel push the hairs on her arms as she kept them gripped around his neck.

When they had reached the sixth floor Aoba suggested they take a short break from climbing. Asuka and Shinji both agreed and the three of them sat down on the concrete floor facing one another.

"How many times have you been out of the Major's apartment since . . ." Aoba hesitated in order to think of an appropriate term, "you got back?"

"I went out on the second day," Shinji replied, "to look around. Asuka was still sleeping then. I haven't been outside since, and this is Asuka's first time out."

"Did you go out because you ran out of food?"

"We have enough for both of us to last at least two or three more weeks," Shinji said, "but most of them are dry packs and instant meals. I thought it would be good to get different things as soon as possible."

"We were running out of water," Asuka interjected.

"You kept using two bottles to bathe." Shinji shot back.

"If you were a girl you'd understand that it's not possible to bathe AND wash your hair with just ONE bottle!"

"You don't need to wash your hair every day! You shouldn't have even been BATHING every day!"

"You only say that because you've gotten use--"

"Quiet!" Aoba interrupted, startling them, and they looked away from each other in embarrassed shame. Aoba let out an irritated sigh. "Do either of you know how to build a moisture trap?"

Shinji shook his head in a negative while Asuka continued to look away.

"That's not too surprising, Eva was designed to support the pilot totally. Well, that's alright, because I do. If we find the right supplies we can get some set up on the roofs of the buildings. That should work as a supplement to what water we're able to find. A garden would also be a good idea, but what you have should be good for now. How is the Major's apartment?"

"Fine," Shinji said. "We have enough room for you to stay."

"I won't be a burden to you beyond tonight," Aoba replied. "I can set myself up in one of the other apartments, and with those convenience stores all over the place, I shouldn't have any trouble finding enough food."

"Do, um, did you live far from here?" Asuka asked.

"Not really," Aoba said, "but you two really shouldn't be completely alone. You seem to be doing all right now, but situations could only get more difficult later on. I'll just collect my things in a couple of days, or whatever things I'll be needing now." At this he stood back up. "That should be long enough of a break." Shinji rose to his feet and took hold of the baskets at his side. As Asuka got back into Aoba's arms, the scent of LCL from his body was again so strong that she could taste it in her mouth. Her body tensed and for a moment it reminded her of why she could never again be comfortable with that smell.

----------

Shinji unlocked the front door of the apartment and slid it open, then picked up his baskets and stepped through into the foyer. Aoba was about to walk through the door with Asuka when she interrupted.

"I can get through the door on my own," she huffed while giving a slight struggle. Aoba gave her a blank expression as he set her to her feet and she walked quickly through the apartment and sat down at the table in the kitchen, which was relatively clean besides a couple of filled garbage bags stacked in one corner. As she slipped her coat off and onto the back of her chair, the other two joined her, Shinji setting the baskets down on the counter behind him.

"More or less the same since the last time I was here," Aoba said, glancing around the room.

"You've been here before?" Asuka asked.

"Before Shinji arrived," Aoba replied. "The Major had, I should say that Doctor Akagi held a party for Major Katsuragi. Hyuga and Maya were also invited, but we didn't stay very long. We got the impression that it was more of a private get-together that Doctor Akagi let us crash. None of really knew the Major that well, except for Hyuga. Maya and I got the impression that he was in love with her." He took a deep breath and stared out past the opposite wall for a moment before turning to Asuka. "What happened to your eye?"

Asuka shook her head. "I don't know. I got hurt in the fight, but when I woke up I had these bandages." She raised her hand to indicate her still-wrapped arm.

"Unit Two was impaled through the head during the fight," Aoba said, more to himself than to either of them, while Asuka's face grew pale as he continued. "So all of your injuries stem from your synchronisation with Eva. How is your eye?"

Asuka looked like she was close to vomiting, but instead she swallowed and answered. "Two days ago I couldn't see anything except for some difference between light and dark. It had bled a lot."

"How is it now?"

"I don't know."

"Let me take a look. Everyone at NERV was required to take a basic medical course during training."

Asuka undid the corners of the bandage that adhered to her face, then removed the pack of gauze over her eye. It had made some improvement since the time its original bandage had been removed. The white of her eye was no longer almost entirely red from bloodshot, but rather looked like she had a severe case of conjunctivitis. Her iris had shrunken down but was still much more dilated than her other eye. The corona was a very pale blue. Aoba looked at it intensely for a few moments.

"There aren't any signs of bleeding or outward infection. How do you see?"

Asuka closed her other eye and looked around the room. "Colours," she said after a moment, "everything's just a blurry mess. I can make out where you two are, but I can't see your features." She opened her eye again and looked disappointed.

"It does look better than last time," Shinji said, trying his best to sound positive.

"If that's true then your vision could still improve," said Aoba, "but I can't guarantee anything. Is your vision fine in your right eye?"

She nodded.

"I think it might be a good idea to leave the bandage off for a while, to let it breathe." There was a brief stretch of awkward silence between the three of them, and Asuka continued to look straight at Aoba.

"I'm going to take a nap," Asuka said abruptly as she pushed her chair out and stood up. Shinji and Aoba watched as she walked out of the room, and eventually heard the door to her room slide open and shut. Aoba turned to face Shinji directly.

"I'm surprised she isn't totally blind in that eye," he said, "or missing it completely. Considering Unit Two's damage and her Berserker synch ratio, she should easily be dead. You saw what those monsters did to Unit Two!" Shinji looked at Aoba, and the man took it as a silent response. He let out a nervous laugh and rested his hands on his temples. "It's been a rough day for me." He let a bit of silence pass before speaking again. "So how is it, living with her?"

Shinji was surprised by his question. "Uh--it's alright."

"Is it?" Aoba looked incredulous. "I might not have known either of you very well, but if it's anything like how it looked to work with her, it must be difficult."

"I've gotten used to it. But . . . Usually she's not so bad. It was difficult for her to accept her defeat, to go through what she did. I saw her injuries, but she doesn't know. She was really depressed the day she woke up, and then with her eye--I thought she might try to kill herself. She got better but since then she's been emotional."

"It'll take her a while to adjust. I've seen it happen."

"With who?"

"My cousin," Aoba answered. "She wasn't much older than Asuka during Second Impact. It took her a long time to readjust. But I guess it did for everybody." He took a deep breath. "So how do you feel?"

"About what?" Shinji asked.

"If you feel guilty or responsible over what happened. With Third Impact."

Aoba's question suddenly sparked a single thought to dominate Shinji's mind. A memory from his experience during Third Impact, at the point in time when he gave up resisting against the temptations of Complementation and surrendered himself to subjective invitations. It was the one thing that frightened him the most of what he could remember, and was so vivid that it was as if he was seeing it all over again: <"No.">

The thought made him hesitate before answering. "I . . . guess it would be natural to."

"Yes, it would," Aoba replied, "but you shouldn't. If Vice Commander Fuyutsuki was to be believed, we were witnessing the end results of Man tampering in the domain of God. Everything that day was beyond anyone's control."

Shinji nodded but had barely heard what Aoba said, his thoughts occupied elsewhere.

----------

The door of apartment 11-A-8 slid open slowly, manually pulled by Aoba. He stepped through into the foyer, still wearing only the service issue JSSDF pants and pilot boots, with sidearm in the back pocket. Shinji followed inside after him as they both walked into the apartment, through the kitchen, and into the living room, which was dimly illuminated through the window shades by midmorning background light. He thought it was strange entering a place that was simultaneously foreign and familiar. Many of the basic amenities were the same: the kitchen had an identical table surrounded by four chairs, along with a refrigerator in the same colour; the living room had the same model of television in the corner, and along the wall was a long cabinet. Shinji walked down the hallway and slid open the door that corresponded to his room, by then unsurprised to see a bed and desk in the same location as his own on the other side of the building. He left the door open and walked back to the living room, and saw Aoba leaning into the master bedroom on the opposite wall.

"So the whole building is like this?" he asked as Aoba pulled himself back into the room.

"Most likely. The Major was disappointed that she never had any neighbours, and since she never mentioned anybody moving in, I guess nobody ever did. Actually for a long time the whole city was like this."

"It was?"

"Well, not exactly like this, but a lot of areas were pretty sparse for a city of its size. Only about ten other people lived in my building, and most of them worked at Headquarters. Besides the primary concentration of NERV personnel and employees for our related companies and utilities, far fewer civilians moved in than what was initially projected during construction. Probably afraid and resentful of NERV." He took several steps forward and surveyed the living room again. "This place looks good. I guess I'll be living here from now on."

"Okay," Shinji said, "although if the apartments in the building are all the same, why didn't you pick the one next to ours?"

"To be honest, I don't think I could handle seeing that . . . thing of Lilith out there every day."

"It isn't easy for Asuka and I, either."

"I didn't mean that it wasn't, just--" He exhaled a sigh. "Never mind. It's just difficult having something like that out there reminding you of everything that happened that day."

Shinji gave Aoba a light nod of agreement. "So what are you going to do now?"

"I thought I'd go out this afternoon and pick up some more clothes," he answered, "then maybe find a car I can drive to my old building and get my things. But that can wait until tomorrow. I assume that you and Asuka don't have very much planned."

"Not really," Shinji said. "Since we went to the store yesterday, Asuka and I will probably each do what we want."

"About Asuka, she should really exercise her legs, otherwise they might atrophy and stay weak."

"Okay." Shinji walked over to the kitchen. "I'm going back. She's probably awake by now."

"See you later."

"Bye Aoba-san," Shinji said as he headed towards the front door.

"Shinji," Aoba called out after him, and when he stopped and looked back, Aoba's neutral expression changed to a sincere smile. "Call me Shigeru."

Shinji returned his smile, then exited the apartment and headed back to his own.

----------

-END OF CHAPTER THREE-

thejester · Post by **thejester** » 2007-02-06 06:37am

It's the outburst we all wanted Rei to have!

Nice to see this coming back at any rate, and a good chapter. Some of the words didn't exactly ring true but that is probably 'cause I haven't watched Eva in a long time. One line however didn't seem entirely right:

I've gotten used to it. But . . . Usually she's not so bad.

She seems better to me, certainly much more so than in the last few episodes when she was a fucking basket case. But *shrug* I've only read it once - even going back over it in my mind maybe the scene in the convenience store illustrates this. Or the lack of arrogance. Meh, I dunno. Glad to have the update!

EDIT: Good choice for Aoba to come back, by the way. Seems the natural choice, with the possible exception of the Commander.

Spanky The Dolphin · Post by **Spanky The Dolphin** » 2007-02-06 07:15pm

Thanks. Glad you like it, and glad I was able to finally put it up.

Rei's raging outburst in Asuka's dream was an idea that I had quite early on, while I was still in the middle of writing Chapter Two. I actually took the time out to do that entire initial scene while I was stuck with a bout of writer's block on Two, so I could just get it out of my system and plotted out.

Aoba was the very first person who came to mind when I decided somebody would return, mostly because of what happened to him at the end of EoE: the Complementation scene made it a no-brainer. I really look forward to writing Aoba, and due to his lack of development in the series, see it as both an ease and a challenge.

The only thing that's killing me is whether or not Aoba would use "-kun" when referring to Shinji. I have Shinji using honorifics, and I initially did with Aoba, but then took them out because I wasn't sure. It might seem like a little thing, but for me it's a detail I like to include.

I agree that some stuff might be just a tad off, for sort of the same reason you mention: it's been a long time since I've rewatched Eva myself, so that's something I should start doing this week. Not because I don't think I'm off on characterisations, but because I just really need a refresh for mood, details, and the like. I might go back and do a little revision if I decided that I committed anything grievous enough...

Concerning the line that you quote, I also agree that it seems a bit out of place based on what's been depicted, but it was something I really wanted to include and establish. While Asuka has certainly accepted her defeat, she still has to cope with and adjust to its physical and mental trauma, going through Third Impact, and dealing with the world left by Third Impact. I imagine that she'd been somewhat alternating between bouts of kindness and rage over the past couple of days, illustrated by the days seen in Chapters Two and Three, as well as the unseen day that occurs between them.

DPDarkPrimus · Post by **DPDarkPrimus** » 2007-02-10 06:33am

This is such ancient history, I'm surpised no one has picked up on it...

In the prologue... there is a difference between "balled" and "bawled".

Uhm. Yeah.

Spanky The Dolphin · Post by **Spanky The Dolphin** » 2007-02-10 08:18am

Yeah...

That's actually a rather embarrassing error to make. Fixed, anyway.

I'm about two-fifths of the way plotting Chapter Four, by the way. Going pretty smoothly.

Spanky The Dolphin · Post by **Spanky The Dolphin** » 2007-02-16 08:38pm

Quick update.

I just finished the plotting for Chapter Four today. Should start with the actual writing later tonight or tomorrow, and putting it up here in a relatively short amount of time. I look forward to doing this one quite a bit, mostly because I'll be introducing an original character...

Redleader34 · Post by **Redleader34** » 2007-02-16 10:21pm

Good work, and its a nice change to read a fanfic about Eva that actualy deals in the Post EOE era...

Spanky The Dolphin · Post by **Spanky The Dolphin** » 2007-03-22 11:34pm

An update:

Chapter Four is finished. All the writing and spell-checking done. I'm going to take tomorrow to read through it and revise and expand in places where appropriate, so expect it to go up late tomorrow night.

I'm happy that the fic has gotten so many views since I resurrected it last month, so if it isn't too much, I'd like to take the opportunity to ask for feedback, questions, and comments. Even if you don't really have much at all to say, I'm very interested in knowing what people think about the story.

Spanky The Dolphin · Post by **Spanky The Dolphin** » 2007-03-24 12:20am

Neon Genesis Evangelion
The End of Evangelion
Final: From Her Heart

Written by Spanky The Dolphin 16 February 2007 - 22 March 2007

Legal Disclaimer: Neon Genesis Evangelion Copyright GAiNAX / Project Eva. - TV Tokyo

---------------

Chapter Four: An Assault on Weakness

TOKYO-3 - 2016 AD

----------

The Control Centre had erupted into a scene of pure chaos.

It began first thing that fateful morning with the attempted coordinated attack of five other MAGI systems, averted only by the protection program deployed through the quick thinking of Doctor Akagi, but soon it became clear that NERV was up against an enemy it had been totally unprepared to hold back: an invasion by the Japan Strategic Self-Defense Force, by order of the Municipal Government in Tokyo-2, which had lifted NERV's super legal protection that day. The soldiers had struck hard and fast, seeming to always be one step ahead of their best efforts to contain or hold them off. Second Lieutenant Sora Kinjo, one of a number of technicians assigned to monitor the status and transmissions of the super computer Melchior, observed the screens at her station as they showed section after section of Headquarters attacked and compromised. Although the sections were represented solely as a field of icons that changed only in displayed colour and text, she might as well have been viewing live video feeds, the undeniable truth was just as clear: the soldiers were getting closer.

Commander Ikari departed the Control Centre almost immediately after the assault started, leaving Vice Commander Fuyutsuki in charge, while Major Katsuragi had only recently left to acquire the Third Children. The Melchior staff, along with the rest of the Control Centre, were busy unloading pistols and submachine guns out of their station's weapons cache as reports of the soldiers having already reached the Eva cages were coming in. Sora absentmindedly slid the magazine into the pistol handed to her by Lieutenant Nakadai, her thoughts focused on her husband Yoshiro, one of the numerous cage staff members, hoping that they had enough defenses to successfully hold the soldiers off, or in the alternative, were able to find a way to retreat. NERV personnel were advised to surrender if at all possible, but it quickly became apparent that the JSSDF were not at all interested in dealing with prisoners.

<Oh God please,> she silently prayed, with eyes tightly closed and bringing her hands still gripped around the pistol to her head, <please let Yoshiro be safe, please let him make it through this! I'll never ask You for anything ever again, just please don't take him away fro-->

The Control Centre shook as an explosion blew a hole through the wall on the opposite side. Black-clad soldiers were suddenly pouring in, cutting down those directly in their path or weren't quick enough to take cover. Sora felt rounds zip right above her head just as she ducked under her console, then vibrations as several more slammed into the metal paneling surrounding her. "Kinjo, get up and return fire!" one of the men shouted to her, reloaded his empty pistol, while another managed a quick burst of machine gun fire before being forced to duck back down. She hated the idea of shooting other people; it went against every moral value she was raised with, as well as her reason for joining NERV in the first place, but she fought back the lump in her throat and weakening knees to raise herself just enough to briefly see over the edge of the station and squeeze off four shots, one successfully going straight through a soldier's thigh.

Returning fire battered the outside walls of the station as her heart raced, pounding in her ears while she waited for another opening to shoot. When it finally arrived she pulled the trigger five times in rapid succession, two hitting another soldier in the throat.

<Just like that,> she thought as he fell, a pang of guilt sweeping over her, <so easy. Father, Mother, forgive me . . .> The rattle of incoming fire opposite her head snapped her back into the present, and she performed a mental count of how many shots she already made, realising that her pistol would only have nine shots left the next time she fired. She did a quick search and discovered that there were no spare magazines around her.

"Sayuri-san, throw me another magazine!" Sora shouted as she turned to Nakadai, who finished emptying her remaining rounds and was just about to duck down for cover when she was struck square in the head by two bullets, splitting it apart with a sickening burst. Sora suddenly found herself unable to see, her face wet and a warm, rich taste nearly choked her as it coated her throat. Quickly wiping her eyes clean with her free hand, Sora watched as Nakadai's body, headless except for a broken portion of jawbone still attached by a strip of flesh to the neck, tumble downward. The grip on the submachine gun still clutched in Nakadai's hands relaxed and the weapons clattered on impact while her knees slammed hard onto the metal floor. Blood poured rapidly from the wound as the woman's body slumped over on top of her gun, inches away from Sora's legs.

Sora reactively swallowed, still in shock. Something then caught her attention in the corner of her vision and she glanced down, her eyes widened with horror. Blood vibrantly covered the back of her hand and streaked her fingers, onto which bits of what resembled red jelly had stuck.

<Sayuri-san's blood is in my mouth!> That single thought rang through her head, preventing her from perceiving anything else. She was unaware that her heartbeat was so rapid that it had become a single continuous percussion; unaware that she was screaming in a nearly toneless shrill; unaware that she was running toward the opposite side of the station and through the doorway, into the interior sections of the Control Centre. One of the men called out and attempted to follow after her, but was pinned down by the soldiers.

Still functioning in a blind panic, her mind still dominated by that thought, Sora had traveled a significant distance within the Control Centre's maintenance areas, nearly tripping and running into protruding pipes and ductwork. Her pistol was gripped in her hand with unnoticeable white-knuckle tightness, and by then her screaming stopped only by the fact that she had rendered herself hoarse. She fumbled with the latches on a compartment panel, causing several of her finely manicured fingernails to break into pieces, until it finally came loose and fell to the floor with a bang. Crawling inside and surrounded by cable conduits, she crouched herself into a fetal position, hands tightly wrapped around her legs, face buried into her knees. Oblivious to the sounds of battle outside, which were reduced to merely a dampened echo from her location, her breath accelerated to hyperventilation and filled her ears, which she perceived to gradually slow down as she succumbed to an accumulation of carbon dioxide and lost consciousness. The muscles in her body relaxed and her arm fell to her side, weighed down by the gun still in her hand.

----------

Sora was brought back to consciousness by the sudden shock of a tremendous explosion, with such intensity that she was almost thrown directly into the opposite wall, ending up lying prone on her back with her legs bent in awkward and uncomfortable angles. Her surroundings continued to shake violently for an extended period, a much greater duration than typical for a conventional detonation. No longer experiencing her uncontrolled panic from earlier, the extreme discomfort of a pipe crossing the small of her back gave her an idea of where in Headquarters she was. As the vibrations subsided she rolled herself over and sat up, straining to discover what sort of sounds reverberated down the cramped metal corridors. She held her breath in apprehension, waiting for her fears to be confirmed, but something else was heard instead of the continued gunfire of battle she expected. Instead she heard voices, shouting, faintly. It was difficult to determine whom they belonged to so Sora crawled closer to the entrance of the compartment in order to hear better. Lieutenants Aoba and Hyuga were fervently reporting the status of something to the Vice Commander. At some point she heard a woman's scream. Could it have been Maya-san? It was difficult for her to make sense of what they were saying, as little of it seemed to be coherently connected to anything she had previously experienced. An automated announcement echoed about a current altitude of two hundred twenty thousand metres. <That makes even less sense,> Sora thought worriedly. <"Current altitude?" What does that even mean?>. Despite the sound of the others' voices, she started to feel incredibly forlorn, even cold, and she wondered whether or not Yoshiro had made it safely against the soldiers. The combination of fear and loneliness felt like a burning rock in the pit of her stomach.

Something in the corridor suddenly caught her attention. The brightness of a distant light shimmered through the darkness with an ethereal, inviting quality, and she felt an internal sense of warmth beginning to fill her. She moved closer to the edge of the compartment entrance and poked her head out to get a better look at what was out there. Her heart skipped a beat in surprise and she cried out with joy. Standing in the corridor--what she momentarily mistook for the First Children--was her husband, dressed in the orange maintenance coveralls and cap she had last seen him in. A serene smile was spread across his face and he had one hand stretched out, beckoning to her.

"Yoshiro!" Sora shouted, tumbling out of the compartment and running down the corridor, tears building in her eyes. "Yoshiro! Yoshiro, oh thank God, you made it!" She embraced her husband tightly, pressing her face into his shoulder and cried. "It was the most horrible--I thought I'd lost you forever! Oh thank God! Yoshiro please, please don't you ever leave me aga--"

Her AT Field stripped away, Sora Kinjo's body lost its physical cohesion, and instantly reverted into an outward spray of LCL, releasing her soul. An empty bloodstained uniform hung momentarily in the air, still conformed to her position, before crumpling to the floor, and a small gold band, fitted with a modest gemstone, bounced with a reflective glitter as amber liquid ran down the walls of the empty corridor.

*****

From relief and love she was instantaneously elevated to absolute ecstasy, experiencing nothing else but the single greatest burst of pure emotion ever in her life. But in the same instant it began, it also ended, throwing her back into her previous immediate state as her body reformed below the surface of Tokyo-3's new sea.

"--in! Take me away from this terrible place!"

Sora was oblivious that her words exited her mouth as a series of unintelligible murmurs. So distracted by emotion, completely unaware of being submerged, she gradually sank down deeper until finally her foot came into contact with the mud at the bottom, and slipped out from under her. The sudden sensation of falling backwards snapped her perspective back into reality, and she started to panic at the realisation that she was deep underwater. Though still being perfectly capable of breathing, she instinctively swam up to the surface, above which the waning Moon could be faintly seen in the night sky. The taste of blood filling her mouth again, Sora choked the liquid out of her lungs when she finally broke the surface, and pulled her soaked bangs back so she could see clearly.

"Yo--Yoshiro?" she called out between coughs, "Yoshiro, where are you?" She craned her neck and paddled around in a circle, but surveying her surroundings was difficult due to the cloak of darkness. It must have been well into the middle of the night, as everything was black except for a slight reflective glow of red emanating from the sea.

"Yoshiro? Yoshiro, please. Where did you go?" But he was nowhere to be found. It was just Sora, floating, alone. She thrashed and looked around again, tears forming in her eyes.

"Yoshiro don't leave me alone!"

For the first time she noticed the gigantic feature dominating the landscape far off in the distance; she let out a short scream and initially blocked it from her vision with her arm, though soon looked at it again. She recalled the halved face as belonging to the First Children, but had never seen her with such an expression before.

This discovery did nothing to placate her fear and uneasiness. She searched around again, and among the suggestion of shattered buildings and rubble saw a patch of shoreline in the distance. Sora took a deep breath, dropped below the surface, and swam quickly towards land. The cold air pocked her wet skin with goose bumps as she climbed onto land, making her suddenly aware of her nakedness, and she timidly crossed her arms over her breasts, hiding them from the gaze of absent voyeurs. She stared out blankly at the shattered environment that spread out before her. All was silent except for the slowly cyclic sound of the waves reeling back and crashing against the sand, warm as it flowed over her toes. She stepped forward as she began to fully piece together the ramifications of her surroundings.

<Am I the only human left?> she thought. <Did everybody die? But we stopped the last Angel, how could this have happened? They were only people.> She looked up and saw the thin yet vibrant red line which bisected the night sky. <Can anybody even survive after Third Impact?> As she looked back down she noticed a glint of light in the corner of her vision, and slowly stepped in the direction it came from. Hung by a bent nail on an upright plank of wood, was a small, squared metal cross. A cross she recognised.

"Major Katsuragi's--is she here?!" Sora looked around until she realised how ridiculous it was to expect her to be standing right there. <If Major Katsuragi's cross is here, that means she had to survive. Maybe she left this here so others would know that she made it. But what do I do now? Should I go find her? How can I do that, I don't even know where she lives. I barely even remember the neighborhood.> She looked out in the general direction should would have to go and let out a long, depressed sigh.

"It's the only choice I have," she said aloud to herself, taking the first steps of the long journey ahead of her.

----------

Shinji slid open the door to Asuka's room, letting in a small amount of residual light from the hallway. In the dark he could make out a crumpled pile of clothes deposited at the foot of the bed after having been worn through the last few days. On the desk next to a candle and cigarette lighter were the red interface nodes she had once used as hairclips, to broadcast with pride that she was an Eva pilot, untouched since Shinji moved them from his room on the third day. Asuka was curled up under a heap of covers which rose and fell as she took long, shallow breaths. Random stands of red hair had fallen over her face during the night.

"Asuka," Shinji said, "wake up." She let out a squirmish groan as she turned over, away from him, and buried herself further underneath the blankets. Shinji let out a mental sigh: Asuka used to be woken up by her own alarm clock, so he or Misato never had to make sure she was up in the morning. Ever since their return Shinji made sure that Asuka was awake soon after he was, otherwise the girl had a tendency to sleep through almost half the day. And every time he had to endure her reluctance to comply. It was his third attempt that morning within the last hour.

"Asuka," he repeated with a sterner tone, "get out of bed. Breakfast is ready."

Asuka groaned again, but she turned back around and started to pull the covers off herself. "Okay, I'm up," she yawned. As she climbed out of bed Shinji slid her door shut and went into the living room to wait. After a couple minutes he heard her door slide open and shut, and Asuka entered the room, dressed in track shorts and the oversized t-shirt she slept in, rubbing her eyes so they would adjust to the light sooner. For the past several days she had gone without bandaging her injured left eye, and she covered the right one with her hand and surveyed the room.

"How is it?" Shinji asked.

"Everything's still fuzzy and I can barely make out your face," She said with a dejected tone as she pulled her hand away. "The same as yesterday." The excess redness had completely disappeared, and the dilation of the iris was comparable to the one in her right eye. The most dramatic difference was that all colour in the corona had disappeared, leaving it a pale gray. Shinji sensed and sympathised with Asuka's disappointment, but at the same time he thought it made her look somewhat exotic, a sentiment he knew was smarter to keep to himself for the time. Asuka flexed the joints in her right arm. "My arm is feeling much better, though. I think we could take the bandage off now." Shinji nodded, and they moved into the kitchen and sat down at the table.

He undid the fastener near her wrist and helped her unravel and pull away the bandage that was wrapped tightly around her skin. When it had been completely removed, both of them were surprised to find, in addition to the expected impression marks left from the bandages, a long, thin red scar. It began at her shoulder and traveled in a clean, straight line down to her hand, looping between her middle and ring fingers, and went all the way back up the opposite side. Shinji noticed that Asuka looked like she had an idea of why it would have happened, but decided it would be better not to ask. After throwing away the bandages, they began a simple breakfast, prepared by Shinji.

"I think I'm going to get you an alarm clock that uses batteries this afternoon," Shinji said to her.

"I've used that other one since I was nine years old," Asuka replied, taking a sip of water, "it might take me a while to get used to a new one."

"Then you're going to have to get used to it. What we've been doing isn't working. Yesterday it took you almost an hour to finally get up. We should both be awake early enough in the day so we don't waste using up too many candles at night."

Asuka narrowed her eyes and looked away from him in irritation, glass still raised to her mouth. "I suppose you're right," she said finally, and took another sip. They said little else to each other as they ate.

When they were finished he quickly cleaned up the small amount of refuse to take care of later while Asuka headed into the living room, Shinji following soon afterwards. She lay down on the floor and raised her legs so that Shinji could take hold of her feet. He shifted his weight onto them and Asuka began doing leg presses. After several minutes she was well into a rhythmic heavy breath and beginning to perspire.

"When we started doing this I didn't know you'd be able to keep up at it so well," Shinji said as he rose and fell at a diagonal angle.

"I did weight training in Germany three times a week," Asuka replied between reps. "I did martial arts, close quarters combat, tactical response: Third Branch believed that I should be able to do nearly everything Eva did myself."

"Was it hard?" Shinji asked.

"When I started--when I was little, it was. After I got into it, it was still tough. But combat dance was always fun."

"Combat dance?"

"Improvisational hand to hand combat," she answered, "based on a competitive dance style but adapted for actual fighting."

"I never heard of it," Shinji said.

"Well of course YOU never heard of it," Asuka huffed, "I'm surprised you and Ayanami did any training at all. All Headquarters seemed to care about were running simulations and test results." She punctuated her statement by shoving him back with her legs using considerably more force than usual. Shinji shifted more of his weight onto her feet to prevent himself from tipping over backwards, but by that point Asuka had already relaxed the tension in her legs, causing his body to slip between them and fall forward as they both let out shouts of shock. Shinji managed to catch himself before actually landing on her, their faces meeting mere centimetres apart, bodies nearly touching. Shinji stared into Asuka's eyes. Wide and unmoving, they filled his entire field of vision. His heart pounded audibly in his chest as he felt Asuka's breath on his face, nearly in his mouth; the smell of her sweat flowed off of her. They remained frozen in position for what seemed like an agonisingly long span of time, before Asuka's eyes suddenly flashed into an angry glare as she grappled him by the shirt. She took in a quick, hard breath and her cheeks flushed crimson.

"GET OFF OF ME!!" she shouted, throwing him with all the power she could muster. "You stupid pervert! What the hell were you trying to do?!" Shinji tumbled to the floor while Asuka scrambled to her feet and began storming towards the balcony. "I'm going to take a bath--and before you ask, I last took one two days ago, so I'm not being wasteful!" She pushed the blind aside and slid the door open and shut quickly as she stepped through it.

Shinji uprighted himself, partially stunned over what had just happened, watching as Asuka pulled her shirt over her head, oblivious of her silhouette projected faintly onto the blind by the morning sun. He was startled when she stuck her head back into the room.

"And if you take even a single step close to this door, I'll throw you over the edge!" The door slid shut and she continued undressing.

----------

Aoba noted that he still had the habit of stopping for expected traffic at intersections as he completed his turn on the way back to the apartment building. He had been out halfway across town scouting and gathering additional supplies, driving a modest two-door sedan. It was the second of two cars he had located since he returned, finding them at the homes of their original owners. He personally thought it was much easier to simply break into a house and take a set of keys than to break into a car and hotwire its ignition. The first car he had found on his second day and used to relocate his personal effects from his original apartment, was parked back at Major Katsuragi's building.

It had been seven days since he came back from the Sea of LCL, and so far he found that living in the new, empty world was not nearly as difficult as he initially thought it would be. Food, water, and supplies were readily available everywhere, and would be for quite some time. There were no dangers or environmental hazards to deal with, the worst being that the temperature seemed to be getting gradually cooler as the days passed. And while the days had their frequent and occasional dullness, it was possible to keep himself entertained and otherwise occupied.

What bothered him were the strong feelings of loneliness that he would experience every so often. Following high school he had always been somewhat of a loner, not due to shyness or having an introverted personality, but because he no longer saw much need in socialising with people beyond a casual level. That was the attitude he took with him when he signed up to join NERV, and it ended up serving him fairly well. But in the frame of the present, perhaps his unexpected bouts with discomfort were due to knowing there was nobody else, that he was essentially one of the very last people on the planet: that he was in multiple senses of the word, alone. He could and certainly did spend time with Shinji and Asuka when he wanted companionship, but there was still what felt like an internal absence gnawing from the inside . . .

As he drove on Aoba noticed something far away, down on the other side of the street: a fluttering movement. He slowed down cautiously, unsure of what it was. Whatever it was suddenly reacted to the sound of the car's engine by moving closer very quickly, and soon it came close enough into view that he was able to realise with shock that it was another person. Aoba quickly turned the engine off and stepped out of the car, excited yet nervous: would this newly arrived individual greet him warmly or attack him? Remembering that he had left his gun back at his apartment, he chose to stand his ground and wait until he would be sure how to respond.

The unknown person ran fast enough that they nearly tripped over their own feet several times, and as they came closer Aoba could at least identify that it was a young woman of about medium height with short brown hair that swept forward on the sides. She had a torn and tattered powder blue curtain, like one would find in a store front, wrapped around her body as an improvised sarong. As she ran the fabric began to come undone and fall away from her body; a slight slip as she pulled it back revealed she was nude underneath. While Aoba had no recognition of who the woman was, she began to call out his name.

"LIEUTENANT AOBA!!" she cried out between strained breaths. Her dirty face was stained with tears while small cuts and bruises dotted her arms and legs. "Aoba-san, thank God!" He finally came to the realisation of her identity by the time she reached him.

"Kin--Kinjo!" he said with shock as the curtain saronged woman stood in front of him, panting with exhaustion. "What are you doing here? I thought everybody else in the Control Centre had been killed!"

"I--" She halted to let out a cough. "I ran after Sayuri-san, I mean, after Lieutenant Nakadai was shot. It wasn't too long after the fight started. I ran and hid in the maintenance section--maybe I passed out. Then there was this huge explosion and Yoshiro was there--

"Yoshiro?" Aoba cut in to ask.

"My husband. It's like he appeared from nowhere and suddenly I was completely underwater, I couldn't find him anywhere, it's the middle of the night, the whole city's destroyed, and there's this huge head out there!" She stopped as she caught her breath. "Aoba-san, what happened? Did we let Third Impact happen? Did we fail?"

Aoba looked at her, carefully trying to choose his words. "It happened, but we didn't fail. Unit One was used as the medium: Shinji rejected Complementation, so we were brought back."

"Brought back? I don't understand, I--" Her puzzled expression became excited as she interrupted herself. "I saw Major Katsuragi's cross down at the shore! Did she make it? Is she here?"

"No, she isn't here. The Major died getting Shinji to Unit One. She gave her necklace to him. Seeing it led me up here, too. Come on, I'll take you back with me. Shinji and Asuka can help explain what happened."

"The Second and Third Children are here?"

"We've been living in the Major's apartment building ever since we came back."

"'Ever since?' How much time has passed? It couldn't have been more than several hours."

"It's been twelve days since Third Impact," he said with a plain tone of voice.

Sora's eyes widened as a numbing shock swept across her face. "Twelve days," she mouthed under her breath. Aoba took hold of her arm and led her to the car, setting her down in the passenger seat. He returned to the driver's side and switched the gear out of park. As they began to drive off he glanced over at Sora, inadvertently noticing her pubic hair showing through a hole in the fabric that had shifted position when she sat down. He looked outside to double-check what intersection they were approaching.

"What size do you wear," he asked her. Still reeling from Aoba's earlier revelation, Sora looked at him with a baffled expression.

----------

Asuka turned the page in her book. She was seated in the reclining chair on the balcony, initially so she could wait as her hair dried after bathing. The book was a Japanese edition of 'Anne of Green Gables,' one of several dozen they acquired during an excursion to the local library two days previously. She found that she had to hold it much closer to her face than she was used to, with her nose almost literally buried in it, to avoid a headache-inducing bout of blurred double vision. Shinji stood at the balcony's outer wall, looking out over the landscape. He heard the faint sound of a car engine grow louder as it approached, and recognised it as the car Aoba had most recently found. It pulled up next to the first car, a moderately sized but spacious station wagon that was parked on the road in front of the building.

"Shigeru-san's back," Shinji said to Asuka.

"Hmm," she replied, still absorbed in her book. Shinji watched as Aoba got out of the car and walked over to the passenger side to open the door. He thought this was odd until another person slowly stepped out of the car: a woman dressed in dark jeans and a yellow long-sleeved t-shirt.

"Asuka, there's somebody with him!" he exclaimed.

"There's what?" she shouted back as she dropped her book and jumped up to look over the side next to him. "Somebody else?!"

Aoba waved as he and the new woman looked up at them, miniscule from twelve stories below.

"Hey Shigeru," Asuka yelled down, "who is that?"

"Her name's Sora Kinjo," he replied, distant but clear. "She worked at NERV in the Control Centre as part of the monitoring crew for Melchior. She came back sometime in the middle of the night."

"Is she alright?" Shinji asked. It was difficult to read her body language accurately, but from what he could guess, Sora seemed to be quite uneasy.

"She had a rough time and is a little shaken up, but she's okay. We're heading up, so get something together for her to eat."

The two teenagers yelled out affirmatives and went back inside the apartment.

----------

A short while later Aoba stepped through the door, with Sora following a few steps behind him, and both made their way to the kitchen. Asuka was already seated at the table, and there was a glass of water next to a half-empty bottle in front of one of the chairs on the other side. They sat down and Shinji placed an improvised meal of softened instant noodles with canned fish in front of Sora.

"Thank you," she said meekly and began eating slowly. She had little appetite. "It--it's nice to meet you two. I don't really know much about you, because of my position. I'm sure Aoba-san and the others knew you a lot better." She said the last statement with a smile done in with her best attempt to not look forced and with an flatly cheerful tone that came off as nervous.

"Actually," Aoba said, "Hyuga and I didn't communicate much with the pilots. Out of the three of us, Maya really had the most contact with them."

"Oh," Sora replied, the smile slipping from her face. Aoba noticed the awkwardness.

"Hey, why don't you tell us what happened to you. We can help fill you in on everything else."

Sora cleared her throat with a light cough and began relating the story of what happened to her on the day of Third Impact. When she was done Aoba and Shinji followed with what they experienced, occasionally interjecting while the other was speaking. Asuka did not say anything except to correct Aoba a couple of times on what happened during her battle with the Eva Series; otherwise she was silent. There was some subject matter regarding his experience during Instrumentality that Shinji purposefully did not mention when he spoke; subject matter he still did not completely understand or he felt the others did not need to know about. Initially Sora would occasionally interrupt to ask a question for something she didn't understand, but as time passed she said increasingly less. Her meal sat only half-finished as she played with it absentmindedly. When Shinji finished speaking she remained silent, only looking down at her hands as she stirred.

"I'm really tired," she said quietly still watching her hands, "is there anywhere I could sleep?"

"There's a spare bedroom in my apartment," Aoba said. "You'll be able to sleep there without being disturbed." Sora took the glass in front of her and finished the contents, still looking down at her lap, before the two of them stood up.

"Thanks." He gave Shinji and Asuka a slight nod as they exited the kitchen. The two Children looked at each other for a moment, until Asuka reached across the table and grabbed Sora's abandoned dish and began to eat what was left.

----------

The door of the spare room slid open, revealing the room to be dark but illuminated by enough ambient light for Aoba and his guest to still see clearly. Sora walked over to the bed and let her body fall and slump down on it, bouncing slightly on her back. Aoba walked over and sat down on the edge. He stared at the wall on the opposite side of the room and cleared his throat.

"I know this isn't exactly easy," he said, "it was a bit rough for me, too, at first. You can get through it though." He turned his head to look at her. Sora kept her eyes locked onto the useless light fixture on the ceiling, a forlorn expression on her face. He continued to look at her in silence. "Don't feel like you have to live here, but you can stay as long as you want." Her eyes flicked down and their gaze met for a moment.

"I want to be left alone," she said in a small voice as she turned towards the wall. Aoba hesitated before standing up with a sigh and walking out of the room, sliding the door shut behind him.

Alone, Sora finally let the tears run from her eyes, and cried silently until she drifted into sleep.

---------------
The End of Evangelion
Final: From Her Heart

Chapter 04: Hell is for children.
---------------

There was a slight chill in the air, while the Sun hung high in a cloudless afternoon sky, so the pair were dressed appropriately as they stood outside the apartment building. Shinji had a light drab green jacket with a t-shirt and jeans. Asuka's outdated gray vinyl coat almost totally concealed the t-shirt and knee-length skirt she wore, leaving her dark stockings the only article clearly visible. She stood with her weight shifted onto a simple metal cane that she acquired four days earlier. Her hair, save for her bangs, was pulled back into a ponytail. The two of them were engaged in a light conversation when Aoba emerged from the main entrance.

"Shigeru-san," Shinji said, prompting Asuka to turn around so she could face the man behind her, "where's Sora-san?"

"In bed," Aoba replied dourly. "She hasn't moved since she went down yesterday morning."

"Is she sick?" Asuka asked.

"No, she just won't get out of bed. She's asleep now but she was awake this morning. I tried to get her up, but she wouldn't respond. When she isn't sleeping she just lies there staring up at the ceiling, like she's catatonic." Shinji glanced at the back of Asuka's head for a second but then looked back at Aoba.

"What are you going to do?" he asked.

"Nothing right now," Aoba answered, "but I'll try again tonight. I suppose she'd been through enough that I shouldn't rush her to recover right away." He exhaled a sigh. "Where are you two going?"

"The school," Shinji said. "We were going to see if there was anything there that we could bring back."

"Also, it's been so boring just sitting around up in that apartment all day," Asuka interjected.

"Um, would you like to come with us?" Shinji asked.

"No," Aoba said with a laugh, "no, I'll stay here. You guys go on. Just make sure you're back by sunset."

"Sure," Asuka replied. She and Shinji exchanged waves with Aoba as they headed off in the direction of the school they once attended. Aoba watched them walk until they reached the turn on the street and disappeared from his view.

----------

Sora heard her name repeatedly spoken, faint and indistinct at first, as if the caller was shouting out from a distance. Gradually it became clearer and more intelligible, until she recognised it fully as belonging to Aoba. Slowly opening her eyes, the blur of the wall came into focus, illuminated dimly by the flickering light of a flame. She turned her head and saw Aoba standing next to the bed with a candle and chamberstick in his hand, his features lit from below. From the surrounding darkness, she knew that it was sometime after sunset. Her expression remained blank as her eyes followed Aoba while he set the candle down on the desk at the head of the bed, and stared down at her for what seemed like several minutes.

"It's been almost a day and a half," he said at last. "That's certainly enough sleep to recover."

She remained stoic, her eyes fixed on him.

"I said things weren't going to easy, but this isn't the right way of dealing it it."

The only movement in her eyes was the reflection of candlelight.

"If you think I'll just go away if you don't say anything, you're wrong."

She did not respond.

"Aren't you even hungry? You've had nothing to eat since yesterday."

No response.

"I'm not going to let you stay in that bed forever, so you might as well get up by yourself while you still can."

Nothing.

"Fine, have it your way. I'll just drag you out myself." He reached out and took a hold of her arm, tugging her nearly to the other side of the bed.

"NO!!" Sora screamed out as she suddenly jerked her body. "LET GO OF ME!!" She began to struggle and thrash around, but he maintained and tightened his grip on her arm. His skin was raked over by the nails of her free hand, while she used her legs to land a fury of kicks to his legs, screaming in a panicked rage the entire time. "LEAVE ME ALONE!! DON'T TOUCH ME!! LET ME GO!! She drew her leg back and planted the sole of her foot square in his stomach, nearly knocking him to the floor. The moment he released her she scrambled to the far side of the bed, huddled in a fetal position against the wall. "Everything I ever knew in my life is gone! There's nothing left for me to live for! I just want to die! OH GOD JUST LET ME DIE!!"

Her screams became a series of shrill wails and she started to cry hysterically. Aoba extended his hand towards her momentarily before hesitating. Instead he reached over and extinguished the candle on the desk between his fingers, before storming out of the room. The door slid shut behind him with a hard bang, while Sora's harsh cries were still audible from the living room.

----------

Sora found herself suddenly jerked out of sleep by a torrent of freezing water falling on her head, drenching her completely. She yelled in shock as she bolted upright, gasping. In the morning background light she saw Aoba standing at the side of the bed, a large empty fire bucket in his hands.

"Good morning," he said in a stern tone that matched his expression.

She was still trying to catch her breath, and shivered as her ice-cold t-shirt clung to her skin. "Where--how--how'd you get the water so cold?"

"I used a fire extinguisher." He let the bucket fall and it clunked dully on the carpeting. Grabbing her by the arm, he quickly yanked her off the bed and pulled her behind him towards the door. "We need to talk."

"Let go of me!" she protested and tried to loosen his grip, which was tight enough that it was causing her considerable discomfort. Her efforts were futile.

"There's a towel and a clean shirt for you in the living room. I'll be in the kitchen. Don't make me wait too long."

----------

It was not long at all before Sora entered the kitchen, newly dressed in a sea green t-shirt, and sat down at the table opposite the already seated Aoba. She pulled the towel away from her head, leaving her hair in an uneven and damp tussle. She said nothing to him.

"I'm sorry for taking such drastic measures," he said, though by his inflection it was obvious that he wasn't. He pushed a bowl of hot cooked noodles and a pair of chopsticks in front of her. "It's curry udon. I thought that you might prefer something familiar." She took hold of the items and began to eat as she shot back at him with a smoldering glare. "Sorry there aren't any meat or vegetables in it; they're not exactly very easy to come by at the moment."

"It was very thoughtful of you," Sora said sarcastically while her mouth was still partially full, "but you didn't have to bother. You probably wasted a lot you could have used for yourself." She continued to eat, noisily slurping the noodles with little consideration for her manners. She was angry at herself because of it, but even prepared at such a basic level, the curry udon tasted very good.

"I prefer it compared to just sitting around until you eventually wasted away to nothing."

She let out a tiny, bitter laugh. "So you did it only so you could avoid feeling guilty? Didn't want my death on your conscience?"

"That isn't true," Aoba shot back. "I did it because you have more to live for." Sora slammed the nearly empty bowl back down onto the table.

"I have more to live for?" she asked through clenched teeth. "What the hell would that be? I have nothing to live for here! Before, I had a life; my husband and I had a GOOD life. We had a nice apartment down in the valley. Our marriage was going better than I could have imagined. We never fought. We were perfect for each other. We were even trying to have a baby . . ." She chocked on her words as tears formed in her eyes. "And now all of that is gone! Everything we lived and worked and planned for! There's no reason for me to live anymore!"

"There are plenty of reasons for you to live!" Aoba exclaimed, leaning forward. "You're life isn't over. You shouldn't give up!" She slammed her hands on the table as she stood up, which made her bowl jump up from the surface momentarily.

"I'M NOT THE ONE WHO GAVE UP!!" Her eyes burned furiously as she thrusted her face into his. Their noses almost touched. "We both went through this once before, but it isn't at all like it happened last time. It was like going through Hell, but everything was still . . . normal then. People still survived. This time it's different: the whole world gave up! But I didn't! So why do we have to suffer for it now? Why did we have to come back?!"

"We came back because we recognised our individuality! Remember what Shinji said; that everyone who disappeared has that potential to return! The fact that we both came back proves it!"

"I don't care what Shinji-kun said! I don't care about anybody coming back if it's not going to be Yoshiro! Why did I have to be . . . teased like that, thinking he was right there, only to have it all ripped away from me a moment later? Why did I see that and you didn't see anything at all?!" She attempted to raise her hand to slam it back onto the table, but it spasmed in her rage and she ended up using it to wipe the tears in her eyes.

"Sora, listen--"

"I wish I could just go back!" She suddenly shouted as she ran out of the kitchen and into the hallway that led to the front door.

"Sora!" Aoba jumped up, extending his arm out to her. "Sora, wait!" The door sounded a metallic bang as she slid it shut behind her. He remained in that impotent position for a moment before slumping back down in his chair, exhaling a long and tired sigh as he rested his face in his hands.

----------

The water seemed like it was colder than the last time, but Asuka tolerated it as she leaned forward and rinsed shampoo lather out of her hair, which she then wrang tightly. With her bath completed she stood up from the corner of the balcony and wrapped herself with a towel. The Sun was low in the morning sky but shone brightly over the landscape, cutting through the hanging blanket of fog. Asuka felt the cool air nip at her skin as she looked out over the edge, letting her mind relax for a moment.

She noticed a movement down on the ground and brought it in focus by shutting her gray eye. It turned out to be Sora, and Asuka watched as the woman ran from the entrance of the building, then slowed down to a brisk walk when she had gone some distance down the street, where she seemed to wander aimlessly. Asuka observed her for a few minutes longer, taking note of the situation, before grabbing another towel and using it to dry her hair. When finished she slid the door to the balcony open and stepped back inside the apartment.

"That Sora woman just ran out of the building," she said to Shinji as she shut the door. Shinji had been lying on the floor and looking up at the ceiling in thought, but sat up when Asuka spoke.

"Sora-san?" he asked. "That's odd."

"That's what I thought. She stays in bed for three days and suddenly just runs outside?"

"Maybe she's not adjusting well."

"Obviously she hasn't been adjusting well!" Asuka exclaimed. She pulled the towel that was still on her head down so it draped over her shoulders. "You heard her screaming the other day, didn't you? I wonder if Shigeru knows what he's doing over there." When Shinji said nothing in response, she exited for her room to get dressed.

----------

Aoba stepped into the kitchen of his claimed apartment, having returned from spending much of the day surveying a portion of the countryside that surrounded the city. He made no effort to announce himself, a habit that remained from the number of years he had been used to living solitarily, although he was convinced if he had made his arrival known that woman wouldn't have cared. He was tired of thinking about Sora; she had been crossing his mind repeatedly throughout the day. A part of him felt that he was handling the situation all wrong, that he should have kept trying to help her come to terms. After all, his cousin was able to finally readjust following Second Impact. Another part of him thought that he wasn't at all qualified to help Sora through such an adjustment, remembering that while his cousin got over her initial shock on her own, she still saw a psychotherapist well into college. But at that very moment he wasn't interested in dwelling on the issue anymore; he simply wanted to rest. His hand was inside his jacket pocket and he had nearly pulled out a set of car keys when he suddenly froze.

Resting on the kitchen table, on the side facing towards the living room, was the semi-automatic pistol he had found in the crashed JSSDF heavy fighter the morning he returned.

It was as if the sight of it caused even the possibility of thought to be ejected from his brain. For a moment that could have lasted hours, he simply stared back at it blankly, with no idea whatsoever as to why it would be there.

<Sora,> it finally dawned on him, bringing a bitter taste to the back of his throat. Finding himself able to move again, Aoba's heart pounded rapidly as he searched through the apartment and called out for her. He knew that she had returned shortly after the sun had set yesterday, saying nothing, actually behaving as if he did not even exist, as she went back into the spare bedroom. She had still been asleep when he checked before his departure that morning, but when he reached the end of his search there was no sign of her.

She was gone.

Aoba took a deep breath and ran his hands through his hair as he stopped to think. <She could have left the apartment at any time. That means she could be literally be anywhere in the city. Or even out of it.> He cursed himself out loud and was prepared to futilely ask Shinji and Asuka if they had seen her at all when the answer simply came to him, remembering something Sora had said yesterday.

He immediately took off out the door and stormed down the flight of stairs to the ground floor, occasionally leaping over multiple steps to the landings. <I parked the station wagon on the other side of the building,> he thought to himself as the sound of his footfalls echoed through stairwell, <so I wasn't able to see if the other car was still in its regular spot.> Bursting out of the front entrance, he saw that in confirmation of his expectations, the sedan was gone. Though out of breath, he ran to the other side of the building and got into the station wagon, which he quickly started and sped off in the direction towards the valley.

----------

Concrete fragments and soil crunched under the vehicle's weight, occasionally accompanied by the cracking of wood and glass. Aoba was careful to drive only on the lighter areas of the debris field that once made up the city; a punctured tire was simply the last thing he wanted to deal with. While he had spend a significant amount of time exploring areas of the city surrounding the valley and the nearby countryside, he had not been back to the ruins of the Ceiling City since he returned from the Sea of LCL. Due to the city's totally devastated condition, he previously saw little need to return to it: nothing of any sort of value that hadn't been destroyed twice over.

He soon caught sight of the sedan ahead of him, parked on the incline of a small mound of rubble. The driver-side door was left hanging open. Aoba stopped directly behind it and stepped out. The air of the late afternoon was cool with a slight breeze that carried the faint sound of the shoreline off in the distance. He took off running in the direction of the sound. As he got closer, he slowed down and traveled the rest of the distance at a brisk walk, and the shoreline eventually came into view. The setting Sun cast a golden quality to the environment, and gave the normally stark-white split head of Lilith an almost human tone to the surface of its skin. Standing on the sand, just out of reach of the crashing red waves, was Sora. She was naked, with her clothes sitting neatly folded on the ground next to her feet, and looking out over the sea. Aoba almost called out to her, but decided against it. Instead he began walking in her direction, his footsteps on the rubble being the only other sound above the waves.

"I found your gun," Sora said suddenly. Her voice was detached and distant, and it stopped Aoba in his tracks, standing only a short distance behind her.

"It wasn't very hard to find," she continued in the same deadpan manner, still looking out into the distance. "Actually, I wasn't even looking for it. I was looking for something else--I don't even remember anymore. I looked at it for what could have been hours, standing there in the master bedroom, just staring at it in my hand. I know all about using a gun, from the combat training at NERV: I was good at it. So I was looking at it, and without a second thought, almost like . . . an instinct, I switched the safety off and put it in my mouth and--" She chocked on her words and interrupted herself to swallow, her voice developing a tremble.

"I've never put anything like that in my mouth before. It felt weird having the metal scraping against my teeth. I could taste the oil used to clean it, and the slide was cold and heavy on my tongue. The end of the barrel was touching the back of my throat, against my palate: it was almost gagging me." He heard her choke again, and that she was crying. "I tried to pull the trigger," she said through her tears, "but I couldn't. It was as if . . . as if my finger was frozen in place. I tried as hard as I could--so hard that the gun was shaking, but it just wouldn't move. I couldn't move it at all. So I set it down on the table in the kitchen. I'm sorry I took one of your cars." Sora sniffed and continued, with regained composure.

"When I first joined NERV and my rank was activated, I thought I was fully prepared to sacrifice my life in order to defeat the Angels and prevent another Second Impact. My parents were proud of me. They said I was brave, and I thought I was, too. I wonder where my bravery was today."

"Suicide lacks the bravery of sacrifice," Aoba finally said. "It takes more courage not to give in to suicide."

"Does it really?" She turned her head around to look at him and their eyes met. The wet lines of tears reflected on her cheeks. After a moment she turned back to the head of Lilith out in the distance, its colour a deep red as the Sun descended lower toward the horizon.

"Do you remember my wedding?" she asked with a reminiscent tone. "It was early in the summer, before the Third Angel appeared. I know that you attended. So did Hyuga-san, Maya-chan, the Major, Doctor Akagi: almost everybody in the Control Centre came." Aoba recalled that he did attend: weddings were always considered opportune times to relax and socialise by personnel at NERV. "It sounds silly," Sora continued, "but when I put my dress on that afternoon and looked at myself in the mirror, I felt just like Cinderella. You know, the old American cartoon." She paused and let out a sigh while tracing a circle around her ring finger. "Marrying Yoshiro was the best thing that ever happened to me, and now I don't even have anything as simple as my ring anymore." The tone of her voice grew angrier. "There's no evidence for any of it, nothing to remind me! Since there's nothing for me here, maybe I could just go back and be with Yoshiro again."

"Yoshiro was definitely killed when the JSSDF stormed the Eva cages," Aoba stated in a strong yet calm tone. "The Control Centre received confirmation that the area was completely compromised. You wouldn't be going back to anything." Sora snapped her head back in his direction.

"Then maybe I'll just go back so I won't have to suffer anymore!" she exclaimed before running into the red waves.

"SORA!!" Aoba cried out as he ran after her before suddenly stopping at the shoreline. He wanted to follow her, but was genuinely unsure what would happen if he stepped back into the Sea of LCL. Sora had run out to a depth past her knees when she tripped and tumbled forward, creating a large splash as she disappeared under the surface, but rose quickly a moment later, completely drenched and kneeling, the LCL almost to her chest. She coughed as she arched her back, looking up to the darkening sky and shut her eyes tightly. Seconds passed . . .

. . . and nothing happened.

Sora opened her eyes with a gradual surprise and relaxed her body, leaning forward. Lilith's head came back into her field of vision and her devastation flared into rage. Her body trembled and her eyes narrowed, letting the tears she had been withholding flow as she violently splashed her fists into the surrounding liquid. "WHY DID THIS ALL HAVE TO HAPPEN?!" she screamed. "WHY DID THEY HAVE TO DO IT?!" She jabbed her finger angrily at the gigantic split visage. "You took everything away when we didn't want it taken from us, so why can't you take me back now that I do?! Why did you have to bring me back?! There's nothing for me in this world!" She chocked in hysterics and punched the liquid surface again, as Lilith responded silently with the same partial expression of frozen, deathly shock.

"Sora!" Aoba ran out into the LCL, trudging through it until he reached her, where he dropped to his knees and took hold of her shoulders. With a start her rageful despair dissipated and she looked at him. "Sora, listen to me! The only reason I returned was because of my fear. I only came back because I was a coward! I could never really learn how to trust anybody. There's never been anyone I genuinely opened up to or loved, and I know that's why I didn't see anything during Complementation: my heart was empty!. But you saw your husband, and you came back because of your love for Yoshiro: I think the reason you came back is because you loved him as another person, as an individual separate from yourself. You can trust others and let them into your heart, but I never could. That's why I need you!"

"You need--" Sora looked away from him. "Dont--don't say such strange things."

"Sora, it's the truth!" He gripped her shoulders tighter and she looked back at him. "I didn't realise it until now but it's true. The only reason Shinji and Asuka have survived is because they needed each other; they depend on each other! In the end that's how they'll make it through this. And like them we've got to depend on each other if we're going to survive. I NEED you, Sora!"

Sora was looking directly into his eyes as tears welled in her own. She bit down on her lower lip, trying to contain herself but could do so no longer, finally bursting into tears as she threw her arms around him. "Shigeru-san!" she shouted while crying profusely into his shoulder. Aoba embraced the woman as she sobbed, while the face of Lilith and the surrounding landscape became awash in blue, the Sun having dipped below the horizon.

----------

-END OF CHAPTER FOUR-

thejester · Post by **thejester** » 2007-03-28 08:22pm

Pure awesomeness, dude.

Spanky The Dolphin · Post by **Spanky The Dolphin** » 2007-07-20 07:12pm

A long belated update.

Chapter Five is essentially finished, and I have already spellchecked it and just have to do some proofreading and a little rewriting in a few spots, but it should be ready to put up in a day or two.

I would like to apologise for the time it took in getting this finished, due to a number of delays and setbacks, my own inadequate writing habits, and the sheer length of this installment. I'll be seriously making efforts so that subsequent chapters are completed in better frequency.

I'm quite surprised of how many page views this story has received, particularly during the downtimes, and would like to say thank you.

Spanky The Dolphin · Post by **Spanky The Dolphin** » 2007-07-22 12:32am

Watch out as I drop a two-stage train on ya:

Neon Genesis Evangelion
The End of Evangelion
Final: From Her Heart

Written by Spanky The Dolphin 24 March 2007 - 21 July 2007

Legal Disclaimer: Neon Genesis Evangelion Copyright GAiNAX / Project Eva. - TV Tokyo

---------------

Chapter Five: The Road of Discovery

TOKYO-3 - 2016 AD

----------

"So what do you think of the new girl?"

"Huh?" Shinji asked, looking up from his lunch.

"I said what do you think of the new girl?" Asuka repeated. She sat at the desk in front of Shinji positioned toward the aisle, bento box resting on her lap. "You know, Rei Ayanami."

"Oh," he replied as he glanced over in the direction of the person in question. Still dressed in the sweater vest and skirt of her old school, Rei was talking excitedly with another girl. "Um, Ayanami? She seems nice, I guess."

"You guess?" Asuka's tone was dryly incredulous.

"Well, she's only been here a week," he said defensively, "and I haven't really had much of a chance to talk to her."

"Chances can always be arranged." She took a bite of her lunch. "Why don't we do it right now?" She twisted around and called out to Rei. "Hey, transfer student!"

"Asuka-chan, don't call her that!" class representative Hikari Horaki scolded from a nearby desk. "She has a name."

"Okay, fine," Asuka grumbled. "Ayanami, come over here!" Rei looked over at the pair and got up from her desk.

"Asuka and . . . Ikari-kun, right?" she said as she approached. "What is it?" Her tone was bright and friendly, and Shinji hoped that was indicative that she might have left the "panty peeking" incident behind her.

"How's your first week been so far?" Asuka turned in her seat so she could face Rei from a better position.

"Oh, it's been great!" Rei exclaimed. "Everybody's so nice, I think I'll be making a lot of new friends here. It's very different from how things were like at my old school."

"Were they mean to you?" Shinji asked.

"Oh no, nothing like that, nobody was mean to me. I got teased a little, but I was never bullied or shunned. I just didn't really make a whole lot of friends."

"Why was that?" Asuka inquired.

"I dunno, though I sort of had a reputation of being a little weird, I guess." Rei lifted herself and sat down on top of the empty desk in the row directly behind her. "But I wouldn't say that I'm weird at all!" she said with a laugh. "Okay, I'm kinda excitable and sometimes I get the wrong impression of people and say something I shouldn't have. I'm also a bit of a tomboy, I mean there weren't any other girls at my school who rode freestyle BMX and a lot of the boys thought that was strange on its own."

"Freestyle--" Shinji began.

"--BMX?" Asuka completed.

"Yeah!" Rei's eyes lit up like gems. "It's really fun! I started doing it when I was nine and I've gotten really good, even entered a few competitions. I would have been riding my bike to school but I wasn't able to take it with me when I moved to the city; I should be getting it this weekend, I can't wait to have it back!"

"Isn't that a bit dangerous?" said Shinji.

"Well yeah, if you don't know what you're doing! Sure, I've broken my arm and leg a couple of times, but like I said I've gotten really good!" Shinji and Asuka's gaze remained fixed on Rei as she continued. "Hey, you guys should come over to my place and I can pull some tricks for you when I get my bike; there's this little park near my building that's perfect for it!"

"Um," Shinji said as he and Asuka glanced at each other, "sure Ayanami, that'd be fun." He took a sip from his milk carton.

"Great!" Rei was beaming. "So how long have you two been dating?"

"Dating?!" Asuka exclaimed as Shinji choked.

"You mean you're not?" Rei asked, suddenly perplexed.

"No, we're just friends! What--what the hell gave you the idea that we were dating?"

"Well come on, you walk to school together, you walk home together; you're eating lunch together right now."

"Asuka moved into my apartment building when we were four," Shinji said.

"Ah," Rei exclaimed, "so you've been best friends ever since? That sounds cool! I never had a best friend like that when I was little. I did have friends, you know, but never a BEST friend like you guys."

"It's not really as exciting as you seem to think," Asuka mumbled. Rei did not seem to hear her.

"Okay, so you're not boyfriend and girlfriend, but have you ever kissed each other?"

"WHAT?!" The colour drained from Asuka's face.

"Only once," Shinji replied.

Asuka turned, staring at him in shock. "Don't--don't tell her that!"

"Wow, when?" She hopped off the desk and leaned toward Shinji, cracking a thin, devious smile. "Did you give her any tongue? Have you done anything else?" Asuka slammed her hand down on her desk and stood up.

"That's enough!"

"Hey, you're the one who called me over in the first place," Rei said, looking up at her with narrowed eyes.

"I've changed my mind!" Asuka took hold of her arm and yanked the girl away from Shinji. "Get away from him."

"What do you care if I talk to him?" Rei slapped Asuka's hand away. "I thought you said that you weren't dating."

"We're not!"

"Is it because you love him?"

"What?"

"I think that's it." Her voice had become flat and delicate, and she turned back to Shinji. "Do you love her, Ikari-kun?"

"I--ah . . ." he hesitated and swallowed.

"Or are you still afraid?" The environment of the classroom seemed to disappear into an empty expanse of blank space, and the two of them were standing face to face. She caressed his cheeks with both hands, gazing into his eyes with a tragic longing.

**********

Shinji opened his eyes and found himself within the confines of his bed. His surroundings were in total darkness, save for a faint glow of red in the sky visible outside through the window. He remained reclined in still thought, puzzled over the dream, depicting a scene that was so different from the reality of life he knew.

He was startled when he suddenly felt the surface of the mattress move, and the sheets pulled over to the left side of the bed. A small sigh further confirmed to him that there was somebody else with him, as well as their identity.

"Asuka," he whispered.

"Mmmhmm?" She stirred and he caught weak glints of reflected light from the window in her eyes.

"You're in my bed."

"Sorry," she mumbled in reply and rolled over, away from him. Within seconds he could hear her breathe slow and rhythmically, indicating that she had gone back to sleep. Shinji considered waking her again while he listened to her extended breaths, but gradually decided against it. <Sleeping in tomorrow wouldn't be so bad,> he thought, and allowed himself to drift back into a deep, dreamless sleep.

----------

Sora's eyelids slowly fluttered opened, and she took in the dimly illuminated surroundings of the master bedroom while it all came into focus. Turning over, she watched the man lying on the futon next to hers as he continued to sleep. She thought back to that day, eight days previously, when he helped to bring her out of her self-destructive state of despair, and remembered the words he said to her long after the Sun disappeared below the horizon, as he held her close to him.

"Let's go home."

Home. She let the word run through her mind repeatedly. Could she really consider the place her home? Throughout her life, which was increasingly feeling to her as it if were really a previous life than part of her current one, she had lived in a total of four places of permanent residence, and only one of them ever felt like a genuine home to her. The apartment she lived in while attending college didn't feel like home. The apartment she moved into after arriving in Tokyo-3 didn't feel like home. Even the apartment she and Yoshiro rented together shortly before they were married didn't feel like home to her, which embarrassed and ashamed her until her husband--her former husband--told her not to make anything of it.

Her line of thought was interrupted by Aoba stirring out of sleep.

"Good morning," she said.

"Morning," Aoba replied as he sat up and rubbed his eyes. He noticed that her attention seemed preoccupied. "Is something wrong?"

"Everything's fine. I was just thinking about home."

"I'm sorry you lost that apartment in the attack," he said.

"Oh no," she said, letting out a light, nervous laugh, "not that one. I was thinking about my parents' house; the one I grew up in."

"What about it?"

"It's the only place I've lived that's truly felt like home. I can still remember everything about it; how every room looked, how each of them smelled, everything I kept in my room when I was a little girl. I can close my eyes right now and immediately recall the entire layout, and I could probably walk through it blindfolded. But I can't even remember how my apartment building in college was arranged."

Aoba looked at her with interest.

"I attended the new medical college just outside Old Tokyo," she continued, "so I didn't get to go back home and visit my parents as often as I wanted to."

"Where did your parents live?"

"Kobe," she said. "Back then it was relief to finally have that feeling of independence, but I still got so terribly homesick all the time. And the distance made it hard to visit, so I could only see them on breaks and occasionally in the summer. Did you ever get that feeling when you were a kid, returning home after a vacation, not so much excitement, but more like an increase in comfort or relief? You knew that when you went to bed, you'd be safe and secure, and didn't have to worry about anything. That's the feeling I got when I would go home."

"I think I understand," Aoba said. "And I think I know what brought this to your mind."

"You do?"

He nodded. "It took me a while to used to this place. Actually, I don't know if I really have, yet."

"It's been like waking up in a hotel room, and the feeling of uncertainty that comes with it."

"I never would have assumed that you were the philosophical type."

"I'm usually not," Sora replied, as she lifted and supported herself with her elbow, "but I've been thinking and reflecting a lot in the last few days. It's been almost impossible not to."

"That doesn't surprise me." Aoba got to his feet and slipped a crumpled pair of jeans on over his boxers, then slid the door open. "I'll get breakfast started."

----------

Breakfast had been served later than usual, something Shinji found to be mildly disruptive despite the fact that adherence to a tight morning schedule was no longer required; he simply found it more comfortable to follow the routine. Asuka was seated across the table, her hair just as tousled by an evening of sleep as his own, sipping from a can of lukewarm coffee while she flipped through a teenage fashion magazine they had picked up a few days before. Shinji absentmindedly stabbed and stirred the cup of noodles in front of him, holding his tongue in apprehension, hesitating to address a particular subject matter with the girl in front of him.

"Ah . . ." Shinji began, his mind at a complete blank of how to phrase what was on his mind, "looks like it might be a nice day today."

"Hmm," Asuka responded as Shinji mentally kicked himself for his cowardice. He waited a few agonising seconds before attempting again.

"I thought it'd be colder, like it was earlier this week, but it was actually pretty comfortable out on the balcony a few minutes ago."

"Really," Asuka said blankly, turning a page.

"If we go out today, we probably won't have to dress up too warmly."

"Hmm," Asuka mumbled again. It became pretty clear to Shinji that she was barely listening to what he was saying, so he took a breath and finally said what he had been waiting to say.

"You were in my bed last night."

Asuka stopped scanning the magazine and looked at him, coffee can still touched to her lips. "Yeah, I know," she said nonchalantly after a moment.

Shinji wasn't entirely expecting that sort of answer from her, or at the least, Asuka being so calm concerning it. "Do you remember coming into my room?" he asked. "I said something to you, but you went back to sleep."

"That was you? I assumed you were just part of a dream I was having or something." She closed the magazine and slid it over to the edge of the table. "No, I don't remember coming into you room at all. I went to sleep in mine and woke up in yours."

"Well, it wasn't the first time it's happened," Shinji replied. "Remember a couple of days after Shigeru--"

"I already told you about that," Asuka interrupted him, the tone of her voice clearly irritated. "I got up to go to the bathroom, and I must have turned left and gone into your room by accident. I was still half asleep."

"'Half asleep,'" Shinji repeated to himself, recalling the similar incident that occurred the night before he and Asuka jointly fought the Seventh Angel. But to Asuka his remark clearly came across as something else.

"Yes, half asleep, stupid Shinji," she snapped back. "Do you really think I would come crawling into your bed in the middle of the night if I was awake?"

"Not exactly," Shinji said after a short pause.

"Of course I wouldn't."

"But it didn't seem to bother you."

"What?" Asuka asked, with sudden surprise.

"It didn't bother you when you found out," Shinji explained. "You didn't scream of yell, or hit me and call me 'stupid Shinji.'"

"Well may--maybe I didn't want to make a big deal out of it." Asuka looked incredibly embarrassed, answering as if completely dodging the issue was in her best interests.

"But you always make a big deal out of everything," Shinji said.

Asuka's embarrassment vanished, quickly replaced by irritation. Her eyes narrowed into a steely glare that forced Shinji to hold his tongue and resist saying anything further. They continued to eat what remained of breakfast in an awkward silence.

----------

The midday sun peaked through the streaking clouds as they slowly drifted across the sky. Aoba made his way across an elevated walkway spanning over the street in one of the more heavily concentrated shopping districts of Tokyo-3, with Sora at his side. In front of him was a commercial push cart surrounded by an improvised cage of chainlink fencing, half-filled with variously selected items of food and supplies, and the occasional article of clothing. A heavy crowbar suspended from the tool belt at his waist tapped against his leg in time with his steps.

He heard the sound of Sora's voice over the jagged rattling of the cart's wheels, engaged in an encore concerning a pair of designer jeans, apparently difficult to find, that she discovered in the stockroom of a department store they had just finished visiting. She said they were supposed to be one of the top items of the Spring 2016 fashion season. Or something like that. He wasn't really listening at all. Aoba didn't mean anything against the woman, he certainly thought they complimented her form perfectly, but he simply didn't care to hear about a pair of jeans anymore. Something out in the edge of his vision captured his attention as he looked away from the path momentarily, and he stopped walking. The rattle of the wheels cut off as the contents of the cart shifted, momentum momentarily continuing forward.

At the corner of the street below the elevated walkway was a commercial truck depot. A large utilitarian building, covered by heavy corrugated sheet metal and with a row of large garage doors on the front, sat on one side of the property, balanced by the nearly filled lot of white truck cabs and trailers of various sizes and configurations on the opposite end. Sora, looking off to the distance in the opposite direction, had continued on walking forward.

"Anyway, I know it's a little superficial, and they'll be ruined just by wearing them in a matter of weeks in this place, but I couldn't help it. They're just--" She turned around and looked back towards Aoba and the cart, and had a puzzled expression as she came back to the spot he had halted. "Shigeru-san, what is it? Why'd you stop walking?" She looked down in the direction of the depot, finding the answer herself.

Without warning Aoba took off running to the end of the walkway, leaving Sora alone again next to the cart. She called his name and ran after him as he disappeared down a flight of steps leading to the street level, and both had soon scaled the fence that enveloped the property, walking amidst the various commercial vehicles surrounding them. As Sora began to catch her breath again, Aoba stopped in front of a modest medium-sized cab-over-engine model with an attached enclosed cargo section. Dust and the residue of rainfall had dirtied the white paintjob. He approached the boxy yet curved cab and pulled on the door handle: Locked. So were the doors to the cargo section.

Aoba stepped away from the truck and read the small number decal on the side of the cab below the window, repeating it several times under his breath while he thought for a moment. He turned around and walked in the direction of the building, specifically towards a small office section built adjacently with walls dominated by large pane glass windows, and took hold of a hammer from his tool belt.

"Shigeru-san, what are you doing with that?" Sora inquired as Aoba wound his arm back and flung the hammer so that it spun directly into the glass, shattering the window with a large crash that startled her. Aoba approached the broken window, using the crowbar to clear out glass that remained along the edges of the frame before stepping through into the building.

"I'll be right back," he said, looking back at her as he picked the hammer off the tile floor and hooked it back onto his belt. She saw him survey the interior of the office before walking away toward the rear where the office connected with the garage, and disappeared from her line of sight. She soon heard him struggling with the crowbar against something metal several times, then the sound of breaking glass and a heavy metal door opening, then closing shut with a clicking, metallic thump.

No perceptible sounds came from within the building as Sora stood alone in the lot for several minutes, and Sora began to get apprehensive. The metallic thump of the door opening and closing again finally broke the silence and Aoba came into her view, fragments of glass under his feet cracked as they were crushed against the floor. He slipped the crowbar through its loop on his belt while crossing over the empty window frame back onto the pavement of the lot outside. In Aoba's hand was a set of keys with a numbered plastic tag that matched that of the truck he had previously inspected.

Sora followed him to the truck and stood back, observing him run to the rear of the cargo section and succeeded in unlocking and swinging the doors open. They groaned and banged together as he shut them again. He returned to the cab and unlocked and opened the driver side door, with Sora catching a glimpse of the rear bunk behind the driver and passenger while Aoba climbed into the cab and stuck the keys into the ignition. The body of the truck shuddered as the engine turned over and growled to life, and Aoba pressed the accelerator to let it rev a few times before shutting it off and hopping back out. A proud grin stretched across his face.

"I've got an idea," he said to her.

----------

"Matsumoto?" Shinji asked in surprise.

"With that truck there shouldn't be any difficulty for us to find enough to last quite a long time in the second capital," Aoba replied. Both pairs of adults and teenagers were seated in the living room of Misato Katsuragi's former apartment, surrounding a short table that had been acquired and set up several days previously.

"Isn't there enough for us here in Tokyo-3?" Asuka asked, then gestured with her thumb over to Shinji seated next to her. "We haven't seen signs of any place nearby running out of much."

"No, most haven't," Aoba said to her. "But a few items already have run out, or are beginning to run low and harder to find. Nothing vitally important right now like medicine, however that could definitely change in the near future. With the Ceiling City and surrounding area down in the valley destroyed, we've been denied a significant fraction of supplies we could have had. Tokyo-2 was one of the largest metropolitan centres in the area, so it has a much greater access to materials."

"What if the city's been damaged like it has here?" Shinji asked.

"Shinji-kun, Sora answered, "there's no reason Tokyo-2 would have been attacked on Third Impact. Everything was concentrated on NERV--they issued the order, after all--so the city should be completely intact, even in pristine condition. We shouldn't even have to worry about any potential fallout from the nearby power plants thanks to automatic failsafes." She looked over at Aoba and he nodded a positive.

Asuka looked at both of them in succession. "How long do you expect this trip to take?"

"It's not that far away," Aoba said, "so driving there shouldn't take more than a few hours, half a day at most for the round trip. The truck's gas tank is full so the actual distance isn't a problem. How long Sora and I would be gone is a different matter, though. I'd personally prefer to spend at least an entire day in the city once we actually get there to properly explore and cover enough ground, so it looks like you guys might be on your own again for at least a little while." Asuka and Shinji glance over at each other for a moment longer than if it were merely coincidental. Sora took notice of their behavior and leaned slightly forward.

"Are you two going to be okay with that?" she asked gently.

"Sure!"

"Yeah, fine!"

They replied over each other, both attempting to disguise their genuine reaction with a degree of artificial cheerfulness, which poorly covered up their nervousness, enhanced by the following stretch of silence.

"So when do you plan to leave?" Shinji finally asked Aoba.

"By midday tomorrow if at all possible," he replies.

"Tomorrow?!" the other three exclaimed, Sora with particular surprise.

"Shigeru-san, why so soon?" She moved her head close to his while speaking with a low voice in an attempt to contain her shock over the matter. "When you told me about this plan back at the depot you didn't say anything about wanting to do it tomorrow."

"it's not really that complicated of an operation, Sora," he whispered back. "It's really along the same lines of a daytrip. It's not like I'm saying we should drop everything and spend a week rooting around in Old Tokyo."

Sora bit her lip in apprehension as she looked into his eyes for several long seconds. Shinji and Asuka remained silent and still, watching the two adults and unsure of what was going to happen. Finally Sora exhaled and broke her gaze.

"Oh alright," she said. "I guess it won't be that much of a disruption if we go tomorrow."

"Great," Aoba said enthusiastically as he stood up from the table. "There's a lot of planning to do, so we'd better get as much of it done before the Sun sets. Shinji, Asuka, you two should try and come up with lists of anything you think you might personally need, and we'll see if we can get it." Sora smiled at them as she rose and followed Aoba through the kitchen and out of the apartment.

----------

It was several hours after sunset, with Aoba continuing his work in the dark, illuminated in close proximity by a battery-powered camping lantern. Just like in the apartment on the opposite side of the building occupied by Shinji and Asuka, there was a short table set up in the living room of the residence shared by the two adults. Spread in front of him over a folded-out road map were a number of books of widely varying sizes. He was holding a book splayed open with one hand while writing information from it down in a notebook with the other when he heard the door to the apartment slide shut.

Sora emerged from the total blackness of the kitchen, her face moodishly lit from below by the chamberstick she carried. She made her way across the floor and sat at the side of the table opposite the lantern, extinguishing the tiny flame of the candle with a silent puff from her lips before putting it down, and ghostly wisps of smoke trailed upwards to the ceiling.

"Shinji-kun and Asuka-chan finished their lists for the city," she said quietly, holding two sheets of paper out to him. Aoba continued writing for a moment before setting his pencil down, then took the sheets from her and quickly read through them.

"These actually aren't too bad," he said as he skimmed through them again. "Better than I thought they'd be." Sora let a small sarcastic grin creep across her face.

"You sound like you expected them to only ask for candy or something."

"No, it's not that, I just--" He hung onto the middle of his sentence and looked at her with determination. "I've made a lot of progress since this afternoon," he said, breaking his gaze and moving his books and notes around to fully reveal the map underneath. "It shouldn't take us more than three hours to reach the city going this way." His finger traced a line inked in black on top of a specific path of roads going across the map. "I've also mapped and plotted a lot of ideal locations in Tokyo-2 so far, though that will probably have to be revised after we get there and explore around; right now we don't really know what things will be like or how easy it'll be to reach or get into some places."

"So how long do you think this entire operation will take?" Sora asked.

"I've decided that it should take three days," he answered, "one to get there, one full day to explore and collect, and one to come back. At first I thought we might want to spend two days in the city, but that would waste too much fuel, and planned like this, we should be able to make at least two additional trips sometime in the future before the truck's tank runs out."

"Three days . . ." Sora said to herself as she thought for a moment. "I guess that sounds good. I'll make sure to tell Shinji-kun and Asuka-chan about it before they go to sleep." Aoba nodded in agreement and returned to his work, flipping through one travel guide for Tokyo-2 and cross-checking it with another before writing down addresses and directions in his notebook.

Sora stayed seated at the table and watched him work. "I know why you're doing this," she finally said, with a soft, relaxed air to her voice. Aoba cocked his head and looked up at her, his brow furrowed in slight confusion.

"You agreed earlier that it was the perfect opportunity to get more supplies that we all need." She shook her head and let out a small laugh as she smiled a second time.

"No no, I know that--and you're absolutely right. But I mean the other reason you're doing this: You're bored."

"Bored?" Aoba replied with surprise, setting his pencil down again. "I'm not bored."

"Yes you are," she shot back, "I can tell. I've gotten to know you pretty well spending so much time with you in the past week. You've been anxious and tense, like you're about to suddenly jump up and run off. And now it's as if you're preparing for a big adventure."

"Is . . . there a problem with that?" he asked, his voice stained with a tinge of embarrassment.

"Oh no, not at all," she said assuringly as she shifted closer to him on her knees. "I didn't mean it like that. There's nothing wrong with getting apprehensive and wanting an occasional change of pace. It's really only inevitable for it to happen in a situation like this. You've all been here longer than I have: I'd be surprised if Shinji-kun and Asuka-chan weren't going through something similar."

"It's pretty obvious that Asuka is. She's been quite vocal in expressing her boredom whenever she can get away with it, while Shinji's quiet about it, but it's sort of difficult to get an impression of what he's feeling. He's not really the type to have a desire for adventure, anyway."

Sora nodded. "It's a shame that Asuka-chan has to be so demanding of him all the time. It's almost like she hardly cares for him." Aoba hummed in acknowledgement and continued working. The only sounds that occurred for an extended stretch of time were that of pencil jotted across paper and flipped pages of books catching the air.

"Will you be bringing your gun?" Sora asked suddenly.

The subject matter of the question startled Aoba, causing his pencil to halt in mid-sentence. "What did you say?"

"Will you be bringing the gun?" she rephrased it in repetition as he looked at her with intensity.

"Do you want me to bring it?"

"I don't know."

"Would you be comfortable if I did?"

"I don't know," she repeated, her voice almost a whisper.

Aoba brought a hand to his temple and let out a sigh of frustration. It had been several days since the gun last entered his conscious thoughts and more since he had even touched it; following Sora's suicide attempt it was placed inside the non-functional freezer unit of the refrigerator, along with its additional magazines of ammunition. He wished she was asking about anything else.

"Do you think we might need it while we're in the city?" he asked. "I guess it might be a good idea to bring it along in case we need to defend ourselves, like if there were anything like stray dogs wandering around that could attack us."

She let her head bob in a slight nod.

"Were you thinking of something like that?"

"Well, I was really more concerned about it being left here with Shinji-kun and Asuka-chan alone," she replied, to which Aoba left out a quick laugh under his breath. She looked at him with her eyes narrowed in irritated confusion. "What's that about?"

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that," he said immediately. "I just noticed the irony of being worried about a gun when those two kids regularly operated the most powerful weapons in the world. But I know what you really meant. I completely understand your concern for their safety. I also know that gun is a pretty sensitive subject for you, so your well-being was really my chief concern."

Sora gave Aoba a thin smile and watched silently as he resumed his work, taking notice of the illumination and shadow cast on his face by the lantern.

----------

Asuka stood near the passenger side door of the truck parked in the middle of the road. From within the cargo section she could hear Shinji and Aoba finish setting a couple of boxes down on the floor, their voices and footfalls muffled and exaggerated by the enclosed metal space. Sora stood with her, dressed in a hooded sweatshirt and ladies carpenter jeans.

"I really hope you and Shinji-kun will be alright while we're gone," Sora said to her.

"We spent nearly five days on our own before Shigeru showed up," Asuka replied, "and I was still barely able to walk back then." She consciously shifted her stance and reapplied her weight onto her cane, which had recently been spray-painted a vibrant red.

"Yes I know, but I can't help but worry if something happened; we wouldn't even know anything about it."

"Really, we'll be fine," she said to her with emphasis. Asuka began to get mildly irritated with what she saw as unnecessary coddling from Sora. "You guys won't even be gone for three full days. And Shinji and I have plenty of food, water, clothing, medicine: We're totally prepared."

From the rear of the truck sounded a pair of simultaneous metallic groans immediately followed by a bang that momentarily jostled the vehicle. Aoba and Shinji emerged and walked over to the two women.

"That takes care of everything we'll need," said Aoba, looking at Sora. "You ready to go?"

"Yes," Sora replied.

"Good." Aoba turned to face the two teenagers, now standing together. "Everything should go according to plan, and we'll head back home around Noon the day after tomorrow, so expect us outside the building about three hours later."

Shinji and Asuka nodded.

"Remember, don't go off and do any intensive exploration for the next couple of days. If you do go out, try and stay close to the building. I know you two can take pretty good care of yourselves, but you should really just take it easy until we come back."

"Sure," they replied in staggered unison.

"Okay then. Bye Shinji." Aoba clasped him by the shoulder and shook his hand. He said goodbye to Asuka and gave her a nod farewell, which Asuka returned.

Aoba walked around to the driver's side of the cab as Sora turned to face Asuka. "Goodbye, Asuka-chan," she said, and suddenly embraced the girl. It happened so unexpectedly that Asuka's only surprised reaction to this first occasion of physical contact was her body seizing in place; when the woman released her grip and drew away, Asuka took notice of the strong scent of newness that emanated from Sora's sweatshirt. Asuka's nerves relaxed and the realisation of what happened came to her while Sora stepped over to say goodbye to Shinji, and embraced him as well. Sora climbed up into the passenger side of the cab as Aoba started the engine, and pulled the door shut behind her. Aoba shifted gears and realigned the truck's orientation on the road while she waved to the two teenagers from behind the glass, then shifted the vehicle into forward gear and took off down the street.

Shinji and Asuka continued to stand in the street after the truck disappeared from sight and the sound of the engine faded into the background silence. Finally, Asuka turned to Shinji. "So what do we do next?"

He looked over at her. He found it hard to believe that merely minutes after Aoba and Sora left, she would start asking what they were supposed to do on their own. "Uh, what do you mean?"

"I mean," she huffed, "what should we have for lunch? You barely made enough for breakfast and I'm starving." Her coat billowed out as she made a quick turn and began walking back toward the apartment building, her cane producing a distinctive tap along with her footsteps.

Shinji remained standing in the street, looking out in the direction the truck had driven off in. <It isn't a big deal,> he thought to himself, <It really isn't. I managed to take care of both of us for several days before Shigeru-san came back, and we didn't really know if there was ever going to be anybody else. So why have I suddenly been feeling uneasy about being on our own again for only a few days? Maybe I've gotten used to Shigeru-san and Sora-san being around and helping Asuka and I. Maybe I really need-->

"SHINJI!!"

Asuka's voice suddenly snapped his attention back into the present. He saw that she was past the steps that met the road in front of the building and had made it nearly halfway up the sidewalk leading to the entrance, standing with her hand on her hip and an irritated glare in her eyes. "What are you doing? Hurry up so we can have lunch!"

She continued on her way, and Shinji ran at a quick pace until he caught up with her.

---------------
NEON GENESIS EVANGELION
---------------

Spanky The Dolphin · Post by **Spanky The Dolphin** » 2007-07-22 12:36am

---------------
The End of Evangelion
Final: From Her Heart

Chapter 05: Emotional Nights
---------------

Aoba kept his eyes locked on the road in front of them as it rushed on by. The glowing liquid crystal display of the clock integrated into the dashboard indicated that they had traveled nearly half of the total distance to their final destination. From inside the cab, the engine was relatively mute, drowned out by the low, whipping sound of the air outisde rushing against the body of the vehicle, mixed with the continuous whine of rubber tires contacting pavement at highway speeds.

Sora attempted to occupy herself by reading a fashion magazine taken from a convenience store back in Tokyo-3. The cover had a publication date of January 2016, and among several blurbs stacked along one side which promised numerous enticing articles and stories within, the one in the largest text exclaimed an interview with a famous radio personality, who was pictured smiling in close up. The speed at which she flipped through the pages revealed how uninterested she was with it.

<Why did I pick this up?> Sora thought to herself. <There isn't really any reason to read it, since it was published weeks before Third Impact--almost two months ago--so there's no point in bothering to pay attention to the "current" fashion trends and celebrity gossip of a society that no longer exists . . .>

Flipping through a few more pages, she gave the magazine one more chance to redeem itself and the culture it internally represented, and after failing to do so pressed its covers shut and threw it down the gap between the driver and passenger seats. It landed with the radio celebrity staring up at the roof of the cab. She felt the back of her seat resist as she stretched against it, locked her hands behind her head, and let out a tired groan.

"You okay?" Aoba glanced over at her.

"Yeah I'm fine," she said. "I'm just bored."

"I imagine I'd be pretty bored, too if I had to read a magazine that was over a month old." His eyes and attention flicked back to the road.

"What did your parents do for a living?" Sora asked out of the blue.

"Huh?" He looked at her again, noticing that her expression had become a little more upbeat.

"Come on, let's talk. What'd they do?"

"My parents?" He paused and looked up at the roof for a moment. "They had a corporate real estate business: Sold buildings and office space to companies. My mother stepped away from it after I was born until junior high because she didn't want me to be 'raised' by hired caregivers and not know my own parents."

"Did you get along with them?" Sora asked.

"I guess I pretty much did like any kid when I was younger," he said while taking a breath, "but after Second Impact and my cousin having to move in I grew a bit distant from them while I was a teenager. Particularly my father. I didn't really use our house for much more than just a place to sleep, and spent a lot of my spare time out of school going out and hanging around town." He looked at Sora again. "So what did your parents do?"

"They were both doctors," she replied. "They met in medical school, actually."

"You mentioned going to medical school the other morning," Aoba said. "How come you ended up working for NERV?"

"My parents really encouraged us to go into the medical profession, and my older brother Ken became a doctor as well. I went to medical college so I could be a nurse, but right in the middle of it GEHIRN reorganised itself into NERV and the United Nations increased its public awareness and promotion for recruitment. I remember becoming totally captivated by their claims, like how NERV was committed to preventing another event like Second Impact from ever happening again, and would succeed thanks to the developments that were made through Project E; of course they NEVER alluded anything CLOSE to what that actually was."

"I doubt whether the UN themselves even had a clue," Aoba interjected.

"Probably not," Sora said. "So all their propaganda just completely won me over, because my little sister Chisato--Chi-chan we all used to call her--was killed in Second Impact."

"How old was she?"

"Six." Her voice became distant. "It was five days before I turned ten. My mother took her along for a medical conference in Old Tokyo, and after Second Impact and the government placing the city under martial law due to the riots, they weren't allowed to leave. Chi-chan died of radiation poisoning from the bomb that destroyed the city.

"I'm sorry," Aoba said.

"Thank you. I nearly dropped out of school so I could join NERV, but my roommate was able to clear my head and convince me to wait until I finished my studies; I sighed up two days after I graduated. So why did you join?"

"Because I saw it as the right thing to do at the time," he answered. "But looking back on it now, I guess it was also so I could get further away from everything. Sort of a means of moving on and starting over."

"I remember when they finally revealed Eva to us, which was only after we were all fully recruited, of course."

"It's not really something you put in the welcoming guide," Aoba said.

"Of course not," Sora replied. "They didn't even bother to introduce the concept to us gently first with a pamphlet or presentation; they just showed Unit Zero to all of us while it was locked in the Cage and THEN went ahead and explained what it was. I was so frightened by it at first, so were a lot of rest: A couple people screamed, one poor woman even fainted and received a concussion from hitting her head on the floor!"

"There was a guy in my group that was so freaked out that he eventually puked halfway through the presentation."

"That guy was in your group?" she asked with surprise as Aoba nodded, then continued. "Seeing Eva for the first time was so frightening. I don't know if it was because of any specific reason or just a combination of multiple things all coming together at the same time, but it scared me. I looked up at it towering over us like a building--but looking like a human being!--with Doctor Akagi explaining it while my knees grew weak. I stared at its hands especially. Its hands were oddly fascinating; they could have picked me up and crushed me or tear almost anything apart, but they looked so delicate and perfect. One of the most terrifying things I had seen in my life at that time, and I thought its hands were beautiful.

"But I bore through that initial fear and stuck to my dedication for joining. I was determined to do everything I could to help NERV achieve their goal of preventing another Second Impact, and I wasn't going to let being scared of a giant robot prevent that."

"Of course," Aoba interjected, "there were the gag orders we would have been forced to sign if we chose to bail out and quit at that point--in addition to the ones we had to sign before they revealed Eva. I thought those were almost as fearsome. Thankfully the restrictions loosened once Eva gradually became public knowledge."

Sora gave a hum in agreement and both sat in silence, watching the road and landscape travel by.

"How do you feel about how things have turned out?" she asked after much time had elapsed.

He glanced at her. "How what's turned out?"

"I mean concerning how NERV totally lied about everything, not just to the public to keep things secret, but even to their own personnel. They lied to the public about what caused Second Impact--they lied to us, never telling us that they were responsible for it in the first place. They said they were committed to preventing Third Impact, when the whole purpose of the Human Complementation Project was to initiate it in the first place. They didn't tell us anything about what the Eva Series really were.

"As we fought against the Angels and went through their numbers," Sora continued, "I was really troubled by all the things that were revealed of what NERV was really doing. Near the end of it all, some days Yoshiro had to practically drag me out of bed and into Headquarters: I simply didn't like what I was becoming a part of. But the worst of it was after Third Impact, when I came back and you all helped explain everything you had learned and the best that you understood how it happened. That was devastating. To learn that in the end Commander Ikari, Doctor Akagi, they had all lied to us. I don't think I ever felt so angry or betrayed as I did then, even on a personal level I felt betrayed. Even talking to you about it right now, I can't help but still feel angry."

"Working for NERV," Aoba said, his eyes still locked on the road, "there was always the suspicion between Maya, Hyuga, and I that there was much more beyond what very little personnel were told about what was going on. As things started to unwind, it was hard to take in everything as it happened, and in the case of Third Impact when you simply couldn't even begin to fully comprehend what was happening."

"Do you feel at all responsible?" she asked.

"I don't," he answered. "I think it was all beyond our control."

Sora took a deep breath as she turned and looked out of the passenger window.

----------

Due to a state of emergency declared immediately prior to the order of the JSSDF's assault on NERV Headquarters, the streets of the second capital were relatively clear of vehicles abandoned once their passengers achieved Complementation. In a city that less then a month previously contained a population of nearly four hundred thousand people, there were only two visitors, having only recently emerged from their mode of transportation.

Sora crouched in the entryway of the opened cargo section, holding up one end of a flatbed cart while Aoba, standing outside with the heavier, handled end, lowered it down closer to the pavement several feet below. The cart's casters clicked when she set her side down on the bed and hopped off the truck, and then assisted Aoba in resting it on the ground.

"You're stronger than you look," Aoba said as he climbed back into the cargo section and opened a box.

"Thanks," she replied.

"Yeah, I should have had you help me load the truck instead of Shinji." He came back, smiling as he carried two tool belts packed with similar items, and handed one over to her while she shot him a facetious look of irritation. She took it and both put them around their waists in close unison, while Aoba went back deeper into the truck, returning with a pair of metal toolboxes.

He handed them to Sora, who set them down on the cart, then made his way to the driver's side of the truck cab and pulled the handgun from the door's storage compartment. Sora's eyes darted away while Aoba held the gun up to check the chamber for a round. Instead she looked at the buildings and storefronts that were lined up on both sides of the streets. Empty buildings on empty streets, much the same as back in Tokyo-3. The only difference she took notice of was the complete lack of occasional debris and dust that would have been scattered everywhere within what remained of the city in the South. Otherwise, the lack of activity and total stillness made her feel as if they hadn't moved at all.

Her attention drifted away from the immediate surroundings, and so she barely noticed the cab door slamming shut with a metallic bang, or that Aoba had walked over to her position.

"Something on your mind?"

As she turned to face him she momentarily glanced and saw the handle of the gun protruding from a compartment on his belt. Surprised, she flashed him a nervous smile.

"Oh, nothing really. It just struck me how much the two cities are alike now. It's almost like we never really left Tokyo-3."

"Every city in the country is like this. It's like this all over the world." Their eyeline remained connected for a morbidly awkward moment before Aoba let out a slight cough. "Let's break down how things will be going for the rest of the afternoon: We'll take the truck with us and park it on the street as we move from place to place, and I'll be marking our path on the map as we go. It should be a lot like our salvaging in Tokyo-3 except on a larger scale. There's a shopping mall within a few blocks of here that will probably take us the rest of today to go through, but we might as well check any place that looks like it might be worth it on the way. How does that sound?"

"As good as any plan," Sora said.

"When it gets dark we should come back to the truck," he continued, "I expect that we'll be finished with the mall by that time. You go ahead and sleep in the rear bunk; I'll be fine sleeping in the driver's seat.

"Oh I don't need any special treatment," Sora interjected, "you can have the bed."

"I insist," Aoba said. "So let's get going, starting with that convenience store over there."

Sora followed behind him as he walked in the direction of the building and pulled the hammer from its place on his belt.

----------

Shinji landed with a cushioned thud on the living room carpet and stretched himself out. It was early in the evening of his and Asuka's second day alone, and the sky transitioned to gold as the enlarged disc of the Sun crept towards the horizon, marking the conclusion of what had proven itself to be a very uneventful day, a fact that Asuka had made repeatedly clear to him throughout its duration. It seemed to Shinji that his roommate was becoming increasingly irritated with the monotony of her surroundings, among the pieces of evidence that came to mind was the diminishing attention she devoted to reading books acquired from the library. <I suppose she can't really be blamed for it,> he thought to himself. <After all, she's had a much more interesting life than I have. She doesn't have to complain about it as if it's almost my fault, though . . .>

His moment of introspection was broken by the sound of a snap-hiss coming from the kitchen, and Shinji tilted his head upward in the direction of the room. In the low light he saw the upside-down image of Asuka, in a stripped tennis shirt and dark navy jeans, standing next to a pulled-open refrigerator compartment. She was taking a sip from a can with a familiar gold colour that Shinji immediately recognised: Misato's Yebichu beer.

She glanced over in his direction.

"What are you doing?" Shinji asked as he sat up.

"I'm having a beer," Asuka answered him. "I'm bored and I'm tired, so I thought this might help me relax a little."

"You can't drink that."

"Why not? It hasn't gone bad yet or anything." She tipped her head back and took another sip. "It's definitely warmer than it should be but--"

"That's not what I meant," Shinji interrupted. "You shouldn't--"

"Oh Shinji," Asuka shot back with a disapproving tone, "don't say that to me. You make it sound like you've never had one before. Have you?"

"Uh, I haven't." Shinji wasn't at all comfortable with the feeling of being embarrassed because of something he didn't think was actually wrong. "Because I'm--"

"Because you're not old enough?" Asuka's expression matched her voice. "I've had beer and wine lots of times, ever since I was a little girl: Nobody cared in Germany if kids drank some alcohol and nobody's gonna care now." She picked up another can from the rack and pushed the compartment shut with her posterior. "Come on, have one with me."

"Ah--I don't want to." Shinji backed himself away slightly as Asuka walked out of the kitchen toward him.

"Stupid Shinji, don't hold out on me!" She held the can out for him to take. "It's no fun when you're the only one having a drink. I must be desperate if I'm asking you."

"No, I--" Shinji paused, trying to figure out how to actually end his sentence. Asuka took advantage of his hesitation, crouching down so that their eyes were at the same level, and brought her face very close to his.

"Or maybe you're afraid a girl might be able to outdrink you?" she teased accusingly.

"I--I'm not afraid of that," he shot back.

"Afraid of drinking around me?"

"No."

"Doing something you'll regret?"

Shinji opened his mouth, but said nothing.

"Look, you can start with just this one and move on if you're up to it." Asuka set the sealed can down on the table next to him. "We'll both have the same amount, so there'll be nothing for you to worry about."

He looked at the can and back at the girl in front of him.

"If you start feeling like you've had too much we can just go to bed. Come on, Shinji, it's just so we can relax a little bit; today was simply a horrible day."

Shinji let out a tense sigh. With a tinge of residual reluctance, he picked the can up off the table and pulled its tab. As he took a slow sip of the beverage within, Asuka sat down in a comfortable position across from him and resumed drinking from her can.

----------

After putting the last box down on the floor of the cargo section, Sora repositioned it with her foot so it lined up with the rest of the items inside, marking the conclusion of the second day of her and Aoba's salvage operation. It was nearly pitch black inside the truck as she stepped back to the gate, and all she could see of her partner was his silhouette standing outside, dimly illuminated from behind by the afterglow cast in the sky by the setted Sun.

"I think we might have gone a little ahead of schedule," Aoba said as the outline of his body changed, extending an arm out for Sora to hold onto. "With the truck almost full there might not be very much for us to do tomorrow."

"I'm not too surprised," Sora replied, taking hold of his hand, "we drove practically halfway across town today." Her grip tightened around his fingers and she leapt down from the platform. "Do you think we might--" The tools on her belt shook as she landed on the ground and tumbled into Aoba, who caught hold of the woman with his other hand before her momentum pushed both of them off-balance.

Sora looked up at Aoba's face through her disarrayed bangs, which were timidly brushed away when she became aware that more then ten seconds had passed without either of them having said anything. "Ah--do you think we might be able to leave early tomorrow . . ?"

"Maybe," Aoba answered, after an almost equally long span of time. "I don't know. We'll have to see how things turn out." Aoba became aware of a trace scent emanating from the woman in front of him, buried beneath the smell of a day's sweat and labour. What little of it he could detect, it struck him as being quite pleasant. "What is that?" he asked, and took in a deeper inhale through his nose.

"Oh." Sora blushed and let an embarrassed smile escape her lips. "There was a perfume sample in that magazine. It's been a while since I've worn any."

"It's nice," Aoba said.

"Thank you."

As her smile changed to one of serenity, Aoba realised that he still gripped Sora by the shoulder, and quickly released her while apologising.

"Ha, I didn't even notice." Her laugh was soft and nervous.

He stepped away and pulled the cargo doors shut, locking them after they dully banged together. "We should be getting ready to sleep, I think," he said. "I'll be fine in the driver's seat again."

"Actually," Sora said, turning towards him, "I was thinking, maybe we could try a different arrangement?"

"What kind of arrangement?"

"There really isn't exactly the room for it, but would you care to join me in the back?" Her cheeks flushed a light rose colour.

----------

Shinji thought he was beginning to get accustomed to the taste of beer.

For the past few hours several large scented candles grouped together in the middle of the table, which collectively released a strange conglomerate of flower and plant fragrances, had illuminated the darkened living room. The tiny flames flickered slightly in the miniscule breeze brought in through the opened balcony door: Asuka had earlier complained about the room feeling uncomfortably warm. The concrete wall of the balcony was dimly lit by the pulsing light from the candles, and beyond that was the infinite blackness of night.

About to begin his third can, Shinji was feeling very relaxed. He was sure that he wasn't drunk. At least, he was pretty sure that he wasn't yet. There was an odd, floating sensation that he felt all over, as if he was suspended in the air and not actually grounded on the floor. It was certainly something he wasn't used to feeling before.

But he was pretty sure he wasn't drunk.

Asuka had stepped out of the room a moment ago. To get something, she said. In front of him were the four empty cans that he and Asuka had already consumed, arranged in an approximate, irregular square. Shinji absentmindedly pushed three of them together and set the fourth of top of them, creating a little pyramid. As a final touch, he took hold of the can on the top of the pyramid and rotated it around so that the little hamster in Yebichu's logo faced towards him. He smiled broadly to himself in satisfaction, then opened his can and picked it up to take a drink.

"Hey!"

Shinji turned his head to the direction he heard Asuka's voice as the beverage entered his mouth. A momentary bright flash erupted from the entrance of the hallway immediately followed by the sound of a small battery-powered motor. As his vision quickly returned to normal he saw Asuka standing at the hallway, holding an instant camera in one hand and the ejected photograph in the other.

"Sorry if I surprised you," Asuka said, walking to the table and rapidly shaking the photo held between her fingers as it began its gradual development process. Her face was flush and her walk had somewhat of a swagger.

"Where'd you get that?" Shinji asked.

"I picked it up . . . four days ago, I think, while Sora and I went out shopping." She dropped herself to the floor next to Shinji and released a quick laugh as she set the camera and photograph down on the table, picking up the sealed can of beer beside them. "I thought it'd be nice to have a camera around; so it wouldn't be like we were living in a total dark age."

Asuka started drinking her third can while Shinji looked at the picture of himself while it came into clarity, brightly illuminated by the camera's flash though surrounded by the overall darkness of the room, creating an effect that resembled a vignette like the kind used in old silent films. He felt the body of the camera make contact with his chest as Asuka held it out to him.

"Take one of me," she exhaled. "Press that on the top to open it."

"Ah, all right." Shinji followed Asuka's direction and the top panel popped open, revealing the lens. He quickly located the exposure button and looked at the girl next to him through dim window of the viewfinder.

"Make sure the flash is still on or it won't come out any good." Asuka combed through and patted her hair several times with her free hand, then settled into a relaxed pose against the table, holding up her can. "Okay now." She beamed a wide smile when the flash went off, and the picture spat out from the front slot, which she immediately grabbed.

"I think I might've flinched right when you took it," she said, shaking it violently for several seconds before watching it develop. Shinji attempted to look over the top of the photograph to see what she was worried about.

Asuka's eyes narrowed in disappointment as she dropped the photo down on the table next to Shinji's. "I knew it! I blinked. What a terrible picture!"

Shinji didn't think there was anything wrong with it; actually he wasn't sure if he had ever seen Asuka happier than how she appeared in the photo.

"I don't think there's anything wrong with it," he said to her. "You look really happy." It was at that point he noticed his face in the photograph appeared just as red as hers.

Asuka examined her picture with closer scrutiny. "I think you might be right. How is it you're able to always look at things so positively?" She wrapped her arm around his neck and pulled him close to her, holding him tightly. The scent of alcohol saturated her breath and filled his nose. She took a long drink from her can and switched her concentration over to Shinji's photograph adjacent to hers.

"You know Shinji," she said, setting her hand on his chin and looking him in the eyes, "a lot of the other girls in class thought you were sort of cute."

"Th--they did?" Shinji asked, totally surprised. "I never noticed."

"It wouldn't be like you to," she replied in a relaxed tone and released him suddenly. "I can kind of see why they would think that about you. You do have your moments."

He said nothing, trying to determine what Asuka exactly meant by that remark.

"When everybody learned that we were living together, some started asking me tons of questions about you. 'What's he like at home?' 'Is he always so quiet?' 'Do you know his favourite colour?' 'Has he ever mentioned anything about any of us?' 'What kind of music does he listen to on that DAT player?' One girl wanted to know how late you slept in on the weekend. I didn't really understand the fascination, and told them the truth; you were a timid and immature boy whose first reaction to any conflict was to immediately apologise. But they still liked you. They thought it was charming that you did most of the cooking for us."

"I just remember them being really nice. Some of them would smile and say hello. How come they didn't say anything else?"

"A lot them thought you liked Ayanami, the way you looked at her and talked to her. That was something they asked a lot about, too. You really missed your chance. You probably could have gotten a girlfriend pretty easily if you weren't such an introvert." She tipped her head back for a long draft. "I bet you had a lot of boys asking the same kind of stuff about me."

"Some at first," Shinji replied, "when they knew we were both Eva pilots, but not for very long."

"Really?" Asuka seemed puzzled. "Why'd they stop so soon?"

"Well . . ." Shinji delayed his answer for a moment to decide how to be honest without offending her. "You were kind of aggressive compared to most of the other girls and--"

"You mean I scared them away?" she shot back.

"No not like that," he tried to reassure her, although it was unfortunately quite close to the truth.

"I wasn't a monster," Asuka continued, "They crammed my locker with love letters, they bought those photos your two stooge friends were selling, and then they just stopped while you were still pined over for weeks and months? That's not fair."

"Asuka, don't be so dramat--"

She cut him off by grabbing his shirt and pulled herself toward him. "Do you think I'm cute?"

"What?" Shinji attempted to back away, but she was almost on top of him.

"I need to know from you." She had an eager look in her eyes. He swallowed nervously; he could smell the alcohol on her breath again.

"Ah . . . sure," he exhaled.

"Do you mean that?"

"Yes," he said sincerely.

Asuka smiled warmly. "The girls are right," she whispered, "you are, too." Her tight grip on his shirt relaxed and she slipped her hands to Shinji's sides. "Do you want to kiss?"

"Ah--" he hesitated in an unprepared panic, to which she put her hand up to his mouth.

"Calm down!" she said quietly, "It's not like I'm asking you to do something else."

"You didn't seem to like it last time," said Shinji, speaking as quietly as she was, but much more tense, "and you wouldn't let me breathe."

"I was right that it's a bad idea to kiss when you're bored, but I'm not bored this time." Her face inched closer to his own. "And it's okay if you breathe this time."

It was definitely an invitation that Shinji found to be incredibly inviting, although the possibility that their behavior might be influenced by inebriation did enter his mind. In which case, that would mean he was taking advantage of Asuka's compromised judgment. But then that would also mean that she was also taking advantage of his, and looking at the situation honestly, he really didn't have a problem with it.

"Okay," he finally relented.

"Here I come," Asuka whispered before pressing her lips against his, while Shinji released a relaxed breath through his nose.

----------

The moment their lips parted, Sora took in a deep breath as quickly as she could before Aoba slipped his tongue back into her mouth.

Just as she had earlier surmised, the cab's rear bunk was definitely not made to comfortably fit more than one person, and she actually had to provide support for Aoba's weight with her own body while he was on top of her. Sweat beaded her face, and she felt her heart pound in her chest like an industrial machine. Whenever her lips unlocked momentarily with Aoba's, Sora would gasp for air, and moan incomplete and fragmentary exclamations of pleasure.

Aoba's hands pawed at and searched her sweatshirt until he located the zipper near her neck. With a metallic slash, he pulled it open, revealing the thin t-shirt Sora wore underneath. The sweet, salty odor of her perspiration flowed out and aroused Aoba further as he slipped his hand under her shirt and squeezed her breast. Sora's clammy skin became cool and formed goosebumps while her nipple hardened against his palm.

Sora arched her back and cried out ecstatically. Her fingers combed through Aoba's long hair and tightly grasped the back of his neck, her thigh ground against his hip. Aoba took the woman's response as a confirmation to proceed, and so dove his hand down the waistband of her jeans, pushing it down past the coarseness of her bush.

"Ah--Shigeru-san, what are you do--ooohhaahh! Wait! Don't!"

"Come on," he breathed hard into her ear, "Don't back out of this now."

"I changed my mind!" She squirmed in response to the unwanted pleasure she was receiving. "Please stop!"

Aoba persisted. "This is what you wanted to do, isn't it?"

"SHIGERU I SAID STOP IT!!"

His hand halted its action, and both of their bodies froze in place. In the near-totality of darkness within the cab he caught the glint of her eyes. The only sound heard was the unsynchronised cycling of their breathing, which gradually decreased in pace and intensity. Aoba quickly withdrew his hand from its offending position and pulled himself away from her.

"I'm sorry," he said. "I'll leave if you want me to."

"No don't," she replied. She reached out and gripped his arm tightly. "Don't leave. Just stay with me."

Their gaze remained on each other, the darkness drowning out everything except only the most remote hinting of their eyes. Finally, Aoba rested his head onto Sora's chest. Sora slowly stroked his hair and then held him tightly, pressing her cheek against his head as solitary, individual tears welled in the corners of her eyes.

----------

The little Yebichu can pyramid that Shinji had earlier constructed lay in a toppled state. Otherwise it would have stood next to an identical beer can pyramid consisting of an equal number of cans. Near the completion of their fifth cans, the two teenagers were fully enjoying each others' company. Asuka had been relating her experience training to use Unit Two at NERV's Third Branch in Germany to Shinji. Specifically, she was discussing early tactile exercises.

"They started by having me stack blocks," Asuka said to the boy seated immediately next to her, "like a baby." Her entire face was flushed and she kept herself elevated with her arm against the table. "At first it was jus' a pair of arms, set up in some kinda . . . harness, I guess, wired to one of their prototype Entry Plugs. 'Cause Unit Two still hadn't been built yet."

"That sounds kinda boring," Shinji said in a very relaxed manner, his face just as red as Asuka's.

"They had me do it for days," she replied. "Days an' days I just stacked blocks, then rods, an' then other various . . . Objekte. When I was finally able to actually use Unit Two, I moved on to toy logs, but made bigger, so I was buildin' like, normal-sized log cabins that a person could walk into and everything."

"I never did anything like that."

"You were their Invincible Shinji," Asuka responded, punctuating herself with pokes to his chest. "You were dropped into it running headfirst; you didn't hafta start at the bottom like me and Aya-na-nami had to." Her final shove to his chest pushed him over, and when he crumpled onto the floor she began laughing hysterically.

"Hey, that actually hurt," Shini complained as he struggled to upright himself. Asuka regained what little composure she had been maintaining, and dropped herself on top of him before he could succeed.

"Poor little baby," she said before kissing his cheek. "Still can't stand up to a girl?"

"Why couldn't you have been like this a couple days ago?"

"'A couple days ago' when?" Asuka asked, smiling as she brushed a lock of hair out of her face.

"You know, when we were in bed together," Shinji said, reaching his hand to touch her face. Her smile faded and she pulled herself away to sit back at the table.

"I don't wanna talk about that," she replied. Asuka grabbed her nearly empty can and drained what remained inside. Shinji sat up and looked at her with an irritated expression.

"You didn't wanna talk about it a couple days ago, either." He took a drink from his own can.

"That should be enough of a reason for you to drop it," she shot back.

"I think you might have done it on purpose," Shinji said.

"You'd like that!" she snapped.

Shinji jerked back in surprise. "What, I don--"

"You'd like it if I just crawled into your bed and started making out with you, wouldn't you?!" Her face had turned beet red from anger, intoxication, and embarrassment.

"I didn't say that, all I meant was--"

Asuka bolted upward so that she towered over the still-seated boy. "I'm not some kinda hussy of yours to do with whatever you please, like in the hospital!"

For a moment Shinji looked back at her blankly, then the complete ramifications of Asuka's final remark dawned on him with a wave of discomfiture. "But, you were unresp--"

"Unresponsive? I wasn't catatonic, I know exactly what you did!"

"Asuka, I--"

"So what, you couldn't get off doin' it behind my back anymore?!"

"I never di--"

"Is that how you treated Misato, too? Work her into your perverted little fantasies!" Her mouth spread into a cruel smile and she leaned forward to deliver it directly in Shinji's face. "Did your surrogate mother's relaxed and carefree lifestyle give your imagination plenty of material?"

"What--what's that supposed to mean?"

"Was the little game of house you two were playing disrupted by my arrival? You seemed so distraught when I moved in." Asuka's voice had gradually lowered until it was only a confrontational whisper. "What kind of mother was Misato like? Maybe I should be asking what kind of mother you wanted her to be. Did you want to seek comfort from her breast, or would you have preferred finding it between her legs? Was there more than just that 'grownup kiss?'"

"Don't talk about Misato-san like that!" Shinji awkwardly scrambled to his feet, and he glared at Asuka angrily while she looked back with a satisfied expression. "At least you actually had a mother who was part of your life!" Asuka's smile disappeared and she returned Shinji's angry glare.

"My STEP-mother was just the woman Papa ran off to when he left Mama and me!"

"'Papa,' 'Mama:' You're such a baby! Do you still cry and call out to her in your sleep?"

"If you knew what I had to go through, you wouldn't be so quick to say that!"

"I know that she died, just like my mother did!"

"YOU DIDN'T EVEN REMEMBER WHAT SHE LOOKED LIKE!!" Asuka screamed in his face. "You don't remember her at all, but I'M the one who watched Mama talk to a doll as if it were me! I'M the one who first found Mama after she killed herself! I'M the one who still remembers seeing her body hanging from the ceiling with that look on her face!"

"It's good she did kill herself," Shinji snapped back, "so she doesn't have to see how self-absorbed and egotistical her daughter's grown up to be!"

"Hurensohn!" Asuka spat while she pulled back a tightly closed fist and swung directly for his head. Shinji instinctively ducked but could not entirely avoid her punch, which collided into his shoulder. He felt her knuckles make an agonising contact with the configuration of bones covered by muscle and skin, as if Asuka's hand had simply passed directly through them. Shinji let out a pathetic, impotent whimper and crumpled to the floor.

Asuka, still enraged, lifted her foot in preparation to stomp on the incapacitated boy. Before she could bring it back down, Shinji managed to kick at her other leg, sending her to the floor with a panicked shout. She fumed while reorienting herself into an upright position, and just as she began to approach Shinji, she stopped. Her face was no longer flushed red; all the colour had suddenly drained from it. She gagged and swallowed, standing still for only a moment before running out of the room through the open balcony door and into the nighttime darkness.

Shinji attempted to pick himself up but collapsed back onto the floor. He barely heard the sounds of Asuka retching outside; his attention was overtaken by the intense throbbing of his shoulder accompanied by the rapid beat of his heart. His chest heaved with deep breaths while he looked up at the ceiling, bathed in dim amber light from the tabletop candles. Gradually, the boy's vision darkened until he finally blacked out from exhaustion into unconsciousness.

----------

A flock of crows cawed harshly, producing a near-continuous stream of aggravating sound as they flew over the buildings below. Aoba, standing next to the truck's rear gate, watched and made a rough count, guessing that there could have been as many as a hundred birds flying to a new location within the second capital to roost and scavenge.

The sound had continued long after the birds disappeared from sight, although Aoba's attention was broken when one of the cab doors opened and slammed shut. Sora soon appeared next to him, tool belt around her waist, hair disheveled from sleep despite an attempt to manually comb it back to a presentable appearance. She opened a can of coffee in her hand and took a sip, observing the same area of the sky that Aoba kept his sight on.

"You woke up early," she suddenly said between sips.

"Yeah," Aoba replied, still looking toward the sky. He repeatedly glanced at her out of the corner of his eye, as it felt like minutes passed. "Sora, I'm sorry for what happened last night."

"Don't be," she said dismissively. "The entire situation was my fault. I completely lost my head in the heat of a lustful moment."

"You shouldn't put yourself at any fault," he said, turning to face her. "Even if it was something you thought you wanted at first, you were within your right to change your mind."

"I know . . ." Sora began to say but cut herself off and released a frustrated sigh as she shook her head. "I wish this situation wasn't so difficult."

Aoba said nothing, but still looked in her direction.

"It's only been fifteen days since my entire world suddenly unraveled and came crashing down around me--actually, while I wasn't even there. When I learned what had happened you prevented me from running away and disappearing like I wanted to do. We need each other, you said so yourself when you saved me that day, and nothing has convinced me yet that we don't. But this isn't one of those Second Impact melodramas where the surviving leading man and woman make love in the third act."

She finished her coffee and set the empty can down on the truck's rear platform.

"I know Yoshiro isn't coming back," she continued, "but like you said, the reason I returned at all was most likely because I loved him so much. And I still do. I don't think I could ever stop. To even consider that simply isn't possible. And yet I'm facing this brand-new life with you right next to me."

Sora paused, then resumed speaking when Aoba remained silent.

"While I'm not oblivious to our situation, it's just too soon. I need time."

"And when you are ready?" he finally asked.

She stepped over to him and looked right into his eyes. "Then I hope you'll stay with me forever."

Aoba returned her aching smile as he took her hands and held them in his own.

----------

Shinji winced in reaction to the sudden and blinding influx of light, shooting pain through his eyes like they they were being crushed within their own sockets, and reflexively shut them tight. He eventually attempted to open them again with his arm positioned over his brow so he wasn't immediately blinded, and he gradually found that he was able to see well enough in order to survey his surroundings. He recognised the familiar layout of the living room ceiling, illuminated by daylight outside. The throbbing within his head broke this observation, the most intense and painful headache he had ever experienced, at least outside Eva. Shinji came to the realisation that he was probably suffering from a hangover, and immediately concluded that it was something he never wanted to experience again.

<Damn Asuka and her stupid ideas when she gets bored,> he thought to himself, and risked the flare of searing pain to quickly glance out through the balcony door that remained wide open and let in a cool breeze. <It must be pretty late to be so bright out. Asuka's probably feeling just as bad as I am, but I better go find her and wake her up.> Other than an aching burn in his shoulder, Shinji's attempt to get up only resulted in a miniscule shifting of his position on the floor. He lifted his head up and discovered the reason for his impediment.

A mass of tangled red hair spread out over his chest, and the stripped pattern of Asuka's shirt peaked through the numerous gaps while her back rose and fell in time with hollow breaths.

"Asuka," Shinji called out quietly.

She remained motionless save for her breathing.

"Asuka," he repeated, shifting his body below her in hope of rousing the girl from sleep.

"Mmmmnnng . . ." she moaned and pulled her limbs inward toward herself.

"Asuka wake up!" Shinji loudly said a third time and shook her by the shoulder. Asuka groaned as she finally stirred awake.

"Oh mein Kopf," she hissed through clenched teeth, her breath reeking of alcohol and bile.

"It's morning." Shinji attempted to move again but was unsuccessful said to her, trying again to move.

"What time is it?" Asuka asked blankly, checking the face of the little red watch around her wrist, seemingly unmindful of Shinji's predicament beneath her. He heard a small gasp of air, almost like a hiccup, before the sudden explosion of sound rang his ears like a siren.

"OH MY GOD IT'S ALMOST NOON!!" Asuka screamed. "WE SHOULD HAVE BEEN UP HOURS AGO!!" She roughly pushed Shinji away as she climbed off to her feet, clutching her forehead and nearly falling back on top of him. "What time did Shigeru and Sora say they'd come back?!" she asked when she had finally regained her balance and composure.

"If they left about now they should be back in a couple of hours or so," Shinji groaned in reply while his entire body pulsed with the arrival of an agonising paralysis shooting through his nerves.

"That doesn't really give us much time to get ready for them!" she shouted in a less panic-stricken manner and she paced around in an irregular little circle. "We need something to eat, whatever won't make us sick, so go in there and find anything that doesn't make you nauseous to think about."

"Okay," Shinji said.

"Alright," Asuka continued to talk over him, "I need to go out and bathe--God, I smell horrible!" She quickly picked up the little soap and shampoo basket that sat in a corner of the room and grabbed one of the towels from the short stack underneath. She began to walk out to the balcony when she suddenly stopped in midstep.

"Shinji," she said in a voice much more delicate then before, still faced away from him, "last night I--"

"Last night?" he asked, with a tone of realisation. The numbness in his body had ebbed away enough for him to sit up, and he turned toward Asuka's direction.

"Yeah," she continued. "Last night I said some horrible things to you. Things I didn't really mean. I know you did, too. I'm sorry." She stood there momentarily, silhouetted in the frame of the doorway by the outside brightness.

"I'm sor--"

"And I didn't get upset waking up in your bed because I was comfortable." Asuka pulled the door shut behind her and walked to the right side of the balcony, disappearing behind the wall that divided between the living room and Shinji's bedroom.

Shinji stood and went into the kitchen. He returned with a plastic shopping bag, into which he began depositing the empty beer cans that still littered the table. As he worked he noticed that the group of candles had extinguished themselves at partial height sometime during the night, leaving them distorted, vaguely cylindrical shapes.

----------

The truck approached the apartment building, decreasing speed until it finally came to a slow stop just in front of the structure. A sharp explosive hiss was released as pressure in the hydraulic break system subsided and the engine growled down to silence. The Second and Third Children remained standing on the sidewalk while the two adults stepped out of the cab, slamming their doors shut one after the other. Sora smiled as she walked over to them, with Aoba following behind her.

"Asuka, Shinji!" Aoba called out and approached. "Nice to see you! You guys should see all the stuff we brought back, the whole truck is practically--"

"Oh my, are you two alright?" Sora interrupted, standing in front of them. Despite their best attempts to freshen up and appear presentable, the two teenagers could not fully disguise their condition. Asuka in particular fared the worst, balancing her weight on the cane beside her as if she might have fallen over without it.

"What do you mean," the girl asked

"You guys look terrible," Aoba said flatly. "Are you sick or something?"

"We're fine!" Asuka insisted.

"Nothing's wrong," Shinji groaned to back her up. The facts of the matter suddenly dawned in Aoba's eyes.

"Oh my God," he said with a dismayed tone, "you're hung over."

"Oh dear," Sora said disapprovingly, "I expected that you two would have more self-control than that."

"So what else did you guys do last night?" Aoba asked.

"Noth--nothing happened!" Asuka shouted as loudly as she could stand to hear herself. "We were just bored!"

"YOU were bored," Shinji shot back, "and pressured me into going along with you!"

"That's enough!" Aoba loudly interjected, and they winced at the volume.

"The last thing we need right now is another one of your ridiculous arguments," Sora added.

"It's not really my place to scold you two like a couple of badly behaved children," he continued, "so it's not like you're going to be punished by us or anything; what you're going through now is probably punishment enough. I'm still pretty disappointed in how you chose to occupy your time. I imagine that Sora is, too." She gave a quick nod in agreement while Shinji and Asuka shared an awkward glance.

"But don't think that you also get out of helping us unload just because you're both hung over," Aoba said as he turned and walked back to the rear of the truck.

"What?!" Asuka exclaimed.

"Relax, Asuka, there's plenty of little things that you can carry without straining yourself." The cargo section doors clattered open. "Besides, we're not unloading all of it right now, just some of the more important stuff."

The two Children let out a simultaneous sigh before following Sora to the back of the truck.

----------

The concrete and steel landscape of Tokyo-3 was subjected to a downpour of rainfall the next morning. Depressions filled into puddles and miniature rivers and streams flowed through the streets into storm drain deltas, while overhanging clouds darkened the empty city with a monochromatic haze. No lightning momentarily brightened the sky, and no thunder rolled or cracked through the air: There were only the continuous streaks of rain drops and their cascading drone as they fell and impacted various surfaces.

Sora and Aoba were in their kitchen with a candle lit at the table's centre in order to compensate for the decreased natural light, listening to the rain outside and drinking coffee.

"Is this the first time it's rained since Third Impact?" Sora asked.

"I don't know," said Aoba. "It's certainly the first time since I came back." He took a slow sip from his coffee can. "I'm relieved we got those moisture traps put together and up on the roof last week."

Sora hummed an affirmative and the two resumed listening to the rain until she eventually spoke again. "Shigeru-san?" Her voice was soft.

"Hmm?"

"What exactly happened with your cousin? The one who moved in with you after Second Impact."

"Her family was killed," Aoba answered. "My mother's brother, his wife, and their two boys. They lived in Old Tokyo."

"Oh my God," she exclaimed. "Where was your cousin when it happened?"

"Setsuko was in Okinawa, on her class trip. She was fifteen at the time. They arrived the weekend before Second Impact and were stranded there when civilian air traffic was suspended worldwide, so after the attack it was another week before they could finally get back to the mainland."

"I'm so sorry," she said with quiet sympathy.

"She wasn't the only one," he replied, "most of those kids' families were killed; some of them didn't have anywhere to go when they got back. My cousin was pretty lucky to have some extended family that could take her in."

"Was it difficult?"

"At first it was horrible. Around the time of the services, she wouldn't make a sound and was nearly catatonic. Then she got increasingly irritable and difficult and one day she started screaming and throwing things across the room. That went on for a couple of days, and my parents almost considered sending her to a mental hospital, but my father just locked her in her room and waited until she finally calmed down enough to come back out."

"That doesn't sound like it was the best action for them to take," Sora disputed. "Your parents really should have sent her to a hospital."

"In retrospect it probably wasn't a great idea," Aoba said. "At the time my parents didn't think they needed to take such drastic measures, and I imagine there was some concern over how word of a family member being institutionalised would effect their social image. But Setsuko was much better after that. She started attending the school she was transferred to and began seeing a psychiatrist who helped her recover and come to terms with her loss."

"Did you get along with her?"

"Well, I was only nine years old when it all happened so there was an age gap that kind of prevented us from ever becoming really close in a surrogate sibling relationship. We didn't fight so I guess we got along as well as we could."

"And your parents?"

"Years later, Setsuko told them that she was very grateful."

Sora nodded just as they both heard a quick series of metallic knocks coming from their foyer. Aoba stepped from the table and she leaned to the side for a better view, and they saw Shinji poke his head through the open doorway.

"Pardon the intrusion," the boy said warily.

"Come on in Shinji," Aoba called out. "Don't be apprehensive about coming over here, you guys are always welcome."

"Good morning, Shinji-kun," Sora greeted him warmly as he entered the kitchen and sat down at the table.

"Ah, good morning, Sora-san." She offered a can of coffee to him which he politely declined.

"So you're probably feeling a lot better this morning then you were yesterday," inquired Aoba with a faceous tone to his voice.

"Yeah," said Shinji nervously, adding a forced laugh. "Asuka made us throw out the rest of Misato-san's beer after we finished unloading."

"Where is Asuka-chan anyway?" asked Sora. "She couldn't possibly still be asleep at this hour."

"Um, Asuka decided she was going to stay in bed today."

"She's not still feeling sick, is she?" Aoba questioned.

"No," Shinji answered, hesitating. "Asuka is . . . She started her, eh, period."

"This morning?"

The boy nodded.

"Well, then I guess her decision isn't too surprising."

"Shinji-kun," Sora interjected, "if there isn't anything in the apartment she could use, I could ask Asuka-chan what she prefers and go out to pick it up."

"Thank you," Shinji said, looking slightly embarrassed.

"So other than that little lapse of judgment on the last night," said Aoba, "how'd you two do being on your own again?"

"Easier than the first time," Shinji said. "Boredom was a bigger concern than whether we had enough food or water. But it was sort of lonely while you two were gone."

"It was sort of lonely being away from here," Aoba answered. "I used to be impressed simply by how the city implemented technology, but I never really considered it in the sense that it was home."

"Why was that," Sora asked.

"I guess I never really had enough here to do so."

"Has that changed?"

Aoba looked at her and the pair shared a smile.

"I think it has." He took a long drink, finishing the rest of his coffee.

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-END OF CHAPTER FIVE-