Songs I hate with a blinding rage

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2007-02-08 11:24am

Today's new entry: "You are loved", by Josh Groban. Frankly, I hate everything by Josh Groban, but I keep hearing this fucking commercial for his new album on the radio and it's driving me crazy.

Post by **Gandalf** » 2007-02-08 11:32am

Can't say I've heard of the guy.

My latest big rage is that song by Pink that sees a few plays a day. I think it's about nightclubbing.

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2007-02-08 11:50am

Gandalf wrote:Can't say I've heard of the guy.

Go to his website at joshgroban.com and prepare to be sickened.

Rye · Post by **Rye** » 2007-02-08 12:57pm

That's pretty insipid, but it's got nothing on this. In my humble opinion, of course.

General Zod · Post by **General Zod** » 2007-02-08 01:03pm

I've yet to find anything that can top the sheer rage inducing idiocy of "My Humps" by Black Eyed Peas.

Oni Koneko Damien · Post by **Oni Koneko Damien** » 2007-02-08 03:19pm

The one song that has ever truly risen my ire is a little country gem called "The Little Girl". I would never have heard this song, but back in high school, my bus driver had a habit of blaring shitty country and everyone riding the bus had no choice but to suffer through it.

And, at around that time, this song was apparently rather popular among the backwoods, uneducated, redneck community. Basically, I'll just put up the lyrics and show you why this song would piss off a high-school aged atheist:

Her parents never took the young girl to church...
Never spoke of His name...
Never read her His word...
Two non-believers walking lost in this world...
Took their baby with them, what a sad little girl...

Her daddy drank all day and mommy did drugs...
Never wanted to play or give kisses and hugs...
She'd watch the tv and sit there on the couch...
While her mom fell asleep and her daddy went out...

And the drinking and the fighting...
Just got worse every night...
Behind their couch she'd be hiding...
Oh what a sad little life...

And like it always does, the bad just got worse...
With every slap and every curse...
Until her daddy in a drunk rage one night...
Used a gun on her mom and then took his life...

And some people from the city took the girl far away...
To a new mom and a new dad, kisses and hugs everyday...

Her first day of Sunday School...
Her teacher walked in...
And a small little girl starred at a picture of Him...
She said I know that man up there on that cross...
I don’t know His name but I know he got off...
Cause he was there in my old house...
And held me close to his side...
As I hid there behind our couch...
The night that my parents died.

It's a pretty big nail in the coffin that holds some hypothetical respect for country music I might have once had.

Sriad · Post by **Sriad** » 2007-02-08 03:58pm

General Zod wrote:I've yet to find anything that can top the sheer rage inducing idiocy of "My Humps" by Black Eyed Peas.

My own coping method for "My Humps" is to imagine it's being sung by a camel. Wearing excessive makeup, lipstick, dangly earings, etc. The camel is trying pathetically to hit on camel handlers, tourists, anybody...

Omm...

Adrian Laguna · Post by **Adrian Laguna** » 2007-02-08 10:52pm

Darth Wong wrote:Today's new entry: "You are loved", by Josh Groban.

Go to his website at joshgroban.com and prepare to be sickened.

Don't see what's so bad about it. In fact, I dare say I like it a bit. Vaguely reminds me of about a dozen other songs, but that's not exactly a big problem, just means there's not a chance in hell of me buying any of Groban's work.

Wretchosoft · Post by **Wretchosoft** » 2007-02-08 11:01pm

Rye wrote:That's pretty insipid, but it's got nothing on this. In my humble opinion, of course.

When the song opened, I thought that was a woman singing.

Pick · Post by **Pick** » 2007-02-08 11:08pm

I hate "My Humps" beyond all reason.

Styphon · Post by **Styphon** » 2007-02-08 11:25pm

Pick wrote:I hate "My Humps" beyond all reason.

This is a contradiction of terms: all reason dictates that you should hate "My Humps"

Hawkwings · Post by **Hawkwings** » 2007-02-08 11:36pm

Styphon wrote:
Pick wrote:I hate "My Humps" beyond all reason.
This is a contradiction of terms: all reason dictates that you should hate "My Humps"

You win this thread.

Dennis Toy · Post by **Dennis Toy** » 2007-02-09 12:07am

Josh Grobans song is pure torture! I couldn't even listen to one minute of it. Damn i bet they used this in Gitmo.

Metatwaddle · Post by **Metatwaddle** » 2007-02-09 12:14am

I like Josh Groban's voice a lot - he's a classically trained baritone (tenor?) - but the lyrics are what bother me. They're ridiculously inane and sappy, and even when he sings in Italian he uses the word "amore" so much that you'd have to be deaf not to realize it's the same insipid shit. Honestly, why can't these pop/classical crossover singers have some sort of emotional range in their songs? All of it is variations on the following themes: "You hurt me but I still love you come baaaaack", "ZOMG I AM SO TOTALLY IN LOVE", "I was insecure but you loved me and cured all my neuroses", and "No idea what'll happen tomorrow but right now I love you so let's pretend tonight is forever".

In other words, he's basically Celine Dion with a penis. What a waste of talent.

Meest · Post by **Meest** » 2007-02-09 12:20am

Probably because his audience are older ladies. He's like the male version of Sarah Brightman, talented yes, but stick to opera.

Singular Quartet · Post by **Singular Quartet** » 2007-02-09 12:50am

Discombobulated wrote:I like Josh Groban's voice a lot - he's a classically trained baritone (tenor?) - but the lyrics are what bother me. They're ridiculously inane and sappy, and even when he sings in Italian he uses the word "amore" so much that you'd have to be deaf not to realize it's the same insipid shit. Honestly, why can't these pop/classical crossover singers have some sort of emotional range in their songs? All of it is variations on the following themes: "You hurt me but I still love you come baaaaack", "ZOMG I AM SO TOTALLY IN LOVE", "I was insecure but you loved me and cured all my neuroses", and "No idea what'll happen tomorrow but right now I love you so let's pretend tonight is forever".

In other words, he's basically Celine Dion with a penis. What a waste of talent.

Or Englebert Humperdink with operatic training.

I have a personal hatred for Tom DeLonge's voice, because he sounds like a whiney, emo cumstain. Whether he is or not, I don't give a shit. I just don't want to hear him.

Executor32 · Post by **Executor32** » 2007-02-09 02:03am

Rye wrote:That's pretty insipid, but it's got nothing on this. In my humble opinion, of course.

That is quite possibly the worst song I've ever heard.

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2007-02-09 09:26am

Discombobulated wrote:I like Josh Groban's voice a lot - he's a classically trained baritone (tenor?) - but the lyrics are what bother me. They're ridiculously inane and sappy, and even when he sings in Italian he uses the word "amore" so much that you'd have to be deaf not to realize it's the same insipid shit. Honestly, why can't these pop/classical crossover singers have some sort of emotional range in their songs? All of it is variations on the following themes: "You hurt me but I still love you come baaaaack", "ZOMG I AM SO TOTALLY IN LOVE", "I was insecure but you loved me and cured all my neuroses", and "No idea what'll happen tomorrow but right now I love you so let's pretend tonight is forever".

In other words, he's basically Celine Dion with a penis. What a waste of talent.

My sister in law has the Josh Groban album with that "You lift me up" song on it. Whenever she plays it, my brother likes to sing over it as loudly as he can, with his own modified lyrics. When Josh Groban sings "You lift me up so I can stand on mountains" my brother yells "You lift me up so you can suck my ass". He makes a point of doing it every single time, and my sister in law has now commented that he's ruined the song for her by association, because he's done it so often that she can't help but hear him doing that in her head whenever she plays the song. Victory.

Tsyroc · Post by **Tsyroc** » 2007-02-09 09:54am

Rye wrote:That's pretty insipid, but it's got nothing on this. In my humble opinion, of course.

Only a few moments of that and I really wanted to punch him in the face.

I even like the original version of the song but this performance...

Dartzap · Post by **Dartzap** » 2007-02-09 10:37am

Tsyroc wrote:
Rye wrote:That's pretty insipid, but it's got nothing on this. In my humble opinion, of course.
Only a few moments of that and I really wanted to punch him in the face.

I even like the original version of the song but this performance...

The actual video of his version is somewhat worse due to the involvement of the Kumars.... There are some things that should never be seen.

Dartzap · Post by **Dartzap** » 2007-02-09 10:44am

YT

Due to the fact I am in a very wierd mood, I thought everyone would enjoy it

Meest · Post by **Meest** » 2007-02-09 03:33pm

Saw him on Conan last night. They had a massive reverb filter on for some reason, would think a voice like his wouldn't need enhancement. It does come across as way too cheesy with emo cliche lyrics.

wautd · Post by **wautd** » 2007-02-09 03:52pm

Right now? Boten Anna, the dutch carnival variant in particular

Fleet Admiral JD · Post by **Fleet Admiral JD** » 2007-02-09 04:43pm

My biggest pet peeve iw when celebrities dick around with the national anthem. That's why I liked Billy Joel's performance at the Superbowl this year: he SANG THE FUCKING SONG, and he didn't dick around with it the way most celebs in the past have done.

Bounty · Post by **Bounty** » 2007-02-09 04:48pm

wautd wrote:Right now? Boten Anna, the dutch carnival variant in particular

The original isn't bad as novelty songs go, but why is it that every other month there's another goddamn carnival..."song", if I may abuse the word, poisoning the airwaves? Who listens to that shit? The frog, the croc, zuipen, now this boat thing, they're all crap, they're all annoying, they're only made to sell ringones and yet they won't fucking die.

If there ever was a whole genre that deserved to be dragged into a dark alley and beaten to death with a rusty crowbar it'd be this.