Funniest creationist E-mail I've gotten in quite a while.

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Darth Wong
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Funniest creationist E-mail I've gotten in quite a while.

Post by Darth Wong »

Creationist idiot wrote:Name: Philip Bruce Heywood
Subject: NO CREATION THEORY? REALLY?

Beginning with an aside - the interesting article you present, regarding the 15% human sheep - if we assume common descent with modification as the engine of evolution - then the 15% means that 15% of this sheep's offspring will be humans - correct? Or are species actually defined by something other than nebulous statistical concepts? In terms of microbiology, a sheep is in fact all but a goat. And vice-versa. Does that mean that sheep are, say, 80% goat, and goats are, say, 75% sheep? Or are species, as Darwin himself seems to imply, actual testable units that are distinct from one another in some deep-seated, as yet not understood, way? If so, then how can they nebulously grade into each other? How can they be produced purely through common descent with modification, unless that modification does something far, far more sophisticated than mere haphazard incremental change?
My main intent is to bring to your attention something more obvious - somewhere in this site there are statements made to the effect that there is no testable, published creation theory. This wouldn't be an outdated assertion, would it? Try searching under CREATION THEORY, and look particularly for creationtheory.com, and see what the search engine advisors classify it as. Is mainstream science good enough to classify as science? Come, come, my fine fellow.
I responded thusly:
I wrote:On Wednesday 28 March 2007 08:06 am, you wrote:
Beginning with an aside - the interesting article you present, regarding the 15% human sheep - if we assume common descent with modification as the engine of evolution - then the 15% means that 15% of this sheep's offspring will be humans - correct?
That may be the single funniest thing I've seen anyone write, since the last time I browsed "Dr" Kent Hovind's website. Please, by all means, explain how you decided that common descent + genetic modification somehow leads you to this conclusion.
Or are species actually defined by something other than nebulous statistical concepts?
Are you not aware that you can simply look up the definition of "species"?
In terms of microbiology, a sheep is in fact all but a goat. And vice-versa. Does that mean that sheep are, say, 80% goat, and goats are, say, 75% sheep?
And we're genetically more than 95% chimp. So what? How does this refute species similarity? If anything, it confirms it.
Or are species, as Darwin himself seems to imply, actual testable units that are distinct from one another in some deep-seated, as yet not understood, way?
Where did Darwin imply that species are totally distinct from one another? Show me the quote from "Origin of Species" where he says this, since I own a copy and I don't recall ever seeing any such thing written in it anywhere. In fact, one of his major arguments is that species definitions are highly fluid, and that variations flow into species: something you would know if you had ever actually read his book. If anything, modern biologists have more rigid definitions of "species" than Darwin did.
If so, then how can they nebulously grade into each other? How can they be produced purely through common descent with modification, unless that modification does something far, far more sophisticated than mere haphazard incremental change?
Since this entire argument hinges upon your completely made-up (and thoroughly false) claim about Darwin saying that species are totally distinct from one another with no crossover, it has no merit whatsoever. Truly, yours are among the worst creationist arguments I've ever seen. You don't even seem to grasp the concept of shared DNA: something that even most creationists acknowledge to be fact.
My main intent is to bring to your attention something more obvious - somewhere in this site there are statements made to the effect that there is no testable, published creation theory.
Correct.
This wouldn't be an outdated assertion, would it? Try searching under CREATION THEORY, and look particularly for creationtheory.com, and see what the search engine advisors classify it as. Is mainstream science good enough to classify as science? Come, come, my fine fellow.
"search engine advisors"?

You're telling me that creation theory is a valid scientific theory because Internet search engines come up with hits on it? This proves it: you MUST be an absolutely inspired satiric comedian. Either that, or you're a raving idiot.
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Post by Ted C »

They always start off so confident.

10 credits say this guy is a one-post-wonder.
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Post by Lonestar »

Ted C wrote:They always start off so confident.

10 credits say this guy is a one-post-wonder.
I'll see your 10, and raise you 15 that he runs off to a conservative christian board boasting about how he gave the evolutionist the what-for...but doesn't post the rebuttal.
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Post by Stark »

The rebuttal doesn't exist because the search engine advisors don't list it.

I've honestly never seen such a horribly wrong conception of genetic commonality in my life.
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Post by The Vortex Empire »

I'm saddened that it's even possible that someone can be this stupid. Over 99% of our DNA is the same as a chimps, so shouldn't most of our babies be chimps? 65% of our DNA is identical to a rat's, so shouldn't more than half of our babies be rats? :roll:
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Post by The Spartan »

So... when will chimps start giving birth to humans? God schmod I want my monkey man!

Further, I'd like to get sheep children. Seriously. They can stay warm in the winter and after being shorn, cool in the summer and I can sell the wool to pay for their college tuition. It'll be all the rage amonst the PETA nutjobs, 100% sheep free wool!
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Post by Stark »

The Vortex Empire wrote:I'm saddened that it's even possible that someone can be this stupid. Over 99% of our DNA is the same as a chimps, so shouldn't most of our babies be chimps? 65% of our DNA is identical to a rat's, so shouldn't more than half of our babies be rats? :roll:
By the same logic chimps share most of OUR DNA, so they should be regularly spitting out humans. You can tell this guy really thought his shit out before he hit that SEND button. :)
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Re: Funniest creationist E-mail I've gotten in quite a while

Post by Darth Servo »

Creationist idiot wrote:Name: Philip Bruce Heywood
Subject: NO CREATION THEORY? REALLY?

Beginning with an aside - the interesting article you present, regarding the 15% human sheep - if we assume common descent with modification as the engine of evolution - then the 15% means that 15% of this sheep's offspring will be humans - correct?
You have 50% of the genes of your mom and 50% of the genes of your dad. By fundy-retart logic, half of his kids would be genetically identical clones of mom. The other half clones of dad.
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Post by Darth Wong »

Now now, stop making fun of him. He gives three names: Philip Bruce Heywood. This must mean he's a Really Important Person. I'll bet he even has a tweed jacket and a pipe.
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Post by Admiral Valdemar »

I think the term "patience of a saint" should be reworded to "patience of an evolutionist" given the jaw dropping e-mails you can get from the opposing crowd. I voluntarily go into such debates, so I cannot imagine what it must be like to wake-up, check your e-mails and find such a gem awaiting your response.
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Post by Darth Servo »

Darth Wong wrote:Now now, stop making fun of him. He gives three names: Philip Bruce Heywood. This must mean he's a Really Important Person. I'll bet he even has a tweed jacket and a pipe.
I know you're being sarcastic but smoking a pipe would just be one MORE reason to laugh at the guy's stupidity.
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Post by Admiral Valdemar »

Darth Servo wrote: I know you're being sarcastic but smoking a pipe would just be one MORE reason to laugh at the guy's stupidity.
And a tweed jacket isn't?

Not even the oldest, most eccentric professor I had wore such stereotypical garments. It's like expecting the RAF fighter jockeys to cry "Tally ho!" nowadays.
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Post by Lonestar »

Darth Wong wrote: I'll bet he even has a tweed jacket and a pipe.

What, like one that blows bubbles or something?
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Post by Darth Servo »

Admiral Valdemar wrote:
Darth Servo wrote: I know you're being sarcastic but smoking a pipe would just be one MORE reason to laugh at the guy's stupidity.
And a tweed jacket isn't?

Not even the oldest, most eccentric professor I had wore such stereotypical garments. It's like expecting the RAF fighter jockeys to cry "Tally ho!" nowadays.
Hey, Robert Langdon in The Da Vinci Code wore tweed. It WILL make a comback I tell you.
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Post by Kuja »

Lonestar wrote:
Darth Wong wrote: I'll bet he even has a tweed jacket and a pipe.

What, like one that blows bubbles or something?

Hmmmmmm. *puffs* Indeed.
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Post by The Yosemite Bear »

The Spartan wrote:So... when will chimps start giving birth to humans? God schmod I want my monkey man!

Further, I'd like to get sheep children. Seriously. They can stay warm in the winter and after being shorn, cool in the summer and I can sell the wool to pay for their college tuition. It'll be all the rage amonst the PETA nutjobs, 100% sheep free wool!
if that was going to happen it would have happened in New Zealand or Scotland by now.
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Post by Lost Soal »

The Yosemite Bear wrote:
The Spartan wrote:So... when will chimps start giving birth to humans? God schmod I want my monkey man!

Further, I'd like to get sheep children. Seriously. They can stay warm in the winter and after being shorn, cool in the summer and I can sell the wool to pay for their college tuition. It'll be all the rage amonst the PETA nutjobs, 100% sheep free wool!
if that was going to happen it would have happened in New Zealand or Scotland by now.
I think Wales would be more likely!
bloody sheep shagging bastards
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Post by The Spartan »

Are you sure it's the Welsh? I ask because I happen to be half sheep, err.. Scottish myself.

Baaa.....
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Post by Lost Soal »

Positive its the Welsh. You sure your parents aren't hiding something :P
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Post by Haruko »

You're telling me that creation theory is a valid scientific theory because Internet search engines come up with hits on it?
Wow, this reminds me of Eva Unit 01, a member of my forum who claimed to be psychic and attempted to prove it by using such "proofs" as these:

(1) that his friend would vouch for his claim, or;
(2) that an online, multiple-choice quiz concluded that he is, indeed, psychic, or;
(3) that his science teacher agrees with him.

It's been awhile since I've involuntarily raised a brow to one's claim.
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Post by The Spartan »

Lost Soal wrote:Positive its the Welsh. You sure your parents aren't hiding something :P
Well, my Scottish family are mostly factory workers and none are farmers so they may be telling me stories. :wink:

Leave it to the fundies to provide us a new definition for the word sheeple.
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Post by Teleros »

Proof that if there is a god out there, he may not be benevolent but he has a damn good sense of humour :lol: . Here's hoping the nut replies (sorry DW, but I need a good laugh ;) )...
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Post by Darth Wong »

If God is omnipotent and omniscient, why did he choose all of the dumbest people on Earth to be his most devout followers?
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Post by DPDarkPrimus »

Darth Wong wrote:If God is omnipotent and omniscient, why did he choose all of the dumbest people on Earth to be his most devout followers?
Heaven's mighty cold if you don't have any bodies to keep the fires of Hell warm. :P
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Post by mr friendly guy »

Darth Wong wrote:If God is omnipotent and omniscient, why did he choose all of the dumbest people on Earth to be his most devout followers?
Because he realised smart people would reject his bullshit. :wink:
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