Warhammer 40K: The Chaos Dozen

[Lindar]

HUZZAH!!!

[Elheru Aran]

Yarrrrr!

[The Yosemite Bear]

GROWLS MORE AND GOES BACK INTO HYBERNATION

[Kuja]

In which the combat begins:

Chapter 6

There is a deep-seated desire inside every raptor. A desire to screech, dive, and lay waste to everything they see. Ninety-nine percent of the time this desire remains largely buried, stifled in favor of completing mission objectives.

However, something happens to a raptor who realizes that he is allowed to do anything he damn well pleases. It's akin to giving a coffee addict who hasn't indulged in several days an extra large-sized cappuccino laced with speed and saying "dare you to chug this". The result is a twitchy, hair-trigger, twitchy-eyed maniac that will invariably screech and lash out at everything within reach at the slightest provocation.

Gulgamesh bounced. He cartwheeled. He hopped and pirouetted. He even did somersaults in mid-air.

And then he eviscerated a team of six navel provosts.

"Showoff," Jadeite muttered. Gulgamesh cackled.

"Gulgamesh, might I request that you not kill them all so quickly?" Scalk said irritably. "You're not even giving them time to set off an alarm."

"Oh, I can fix that." The raptor replied. Then he promptly turned and punched a nearby glass case to yank the lever hidden inside. Instantly, alarms began to blare their fool heads off all across the ship. "Is that better?!" Gulgamesh yelled over the noise.

"Much!" Scalk replied. Kuja shook his head.

----------------------------

Group Two experienced a momentary feeling of brotherhood as they nearly had a collective heart attack when the alarms went off. Expecting a flood of armed guards to come flooding from around the nearest corner they halted and readied their weapons. When the expected tide of armored humanity never arrived, they began to relax slightly. "Must be the distractions acting up," Sheppard said.

Ghornal nodded. "Right. Let's go."

"What the f- SECURITY!" a voice screamed. As though drawn by a string, the four marines turned their heads to zero in on a young man in naval fatigues. A man rapidly bringing a radio to his mouth. "Corridor Alpha-ten, intruders in-"

Dalton reacted faster than any of the others, leaping forward and decapitating the crewman with one sweep of the massive scythe.

"So much for the distractions," Ghornal muttered.

"Shut up and run!" Sheppard snapped.

-------------------------

Guardsman Bass had snapped to his feet with the first blare of the alarms. Along with the others he quickly shrugged on his body, grabbed his lasrifle, and began hauling ass out the barracks' door. Like moths to a light, the guardsmen clustered around one of their own, the commsman Bren. "We've got intruders aboard ship," he said, receiver pressed against his ear as he listened to the defense network. "Two reported locations. One report puts them near the umbilical cords, another one heading aft towards the engines." Bren looked up and the crowd of men, which up until now had been speculating wildly, fell silent as they realized that their Colonel had joined them. Bezz looked grim.

"Rifles ready," he said simply. "Half you men with me, the other half with Lieutenant Sab. We're going to head them off at both points. Move!"

----------------------

"Who's brilliant idea was this?!" Ghornal said between gasps. "Let's put the four slowest runners in the group that has to travel the biggest distance! I hate my life!"

"Cut your wrists later!" Sheppard snapped. "Cover Domini now!"

"I'm not emo!" the World Eater argued, his volume rising. "Do I look like some kind of Death Guard do you?"

"Watch it," Dalton rumbled.

A pair of naval officers had the bad luck to intercede on the conversation. Before either one of them could offer some no doubt helpful advice, Ghornal ended their participation with two neat swings of the chainaxe.

Shouted voices from somewhere down the corridors reminded the four marines that chain weapons weren't used on stealth missions for a reason. Sheppard swore.

-------------------------------

Group Two had already reached their destination - the umbilical cords connection the Dylan to the repair station. As Scalk dropped to one knee and began using his crozius to carve runes into the deck plating, enemy lasfire began to pepper them from the adjoining hallways. "IN NOMINAE IMPERATOR!" someone shouted.

"Can't we do this without their participation?" Scalk grumbled.

Gulgamesh and Jadeite, on the other hand, did their duty by prompty forgetting the mission completely and diving through the nearby corridor to engage the Imperials hand-to-hand. Jadeite used his guitar as a club, belting one man in the gut and then crushing his skull. Gulgamesh was more surgical, deftly slicing arteries in the neck and legs that left men for dead but still screaming for a few more moments. As he did so, he opened his external channel, took a deep breath, and screeched.

"We need one alive!" Scalk shouted after the two of them.

--------------------------

Guardsman Bass whimpered quietly as he held down the trigger of his lasrifle, spraying fire into the narrow corridor along with the other eight men of his squard. Colonel Bezz had been a hero, a rock, a foundation for the entire regiment. Where others had fallen, he had seemed immortal.

And he had just been torn apart by a screaming, black creature twice his size with claws of steel. The creature came on, undaunted by the storm of lasfire and the Bassinians broke, scattering in all directions. Only one fell to the onslaught, a man named Bsaa who turned to run and promptly slammed face first into a wall. Gulgamesh chuckled to himself as he cut the man's thoat. Wish I'd had the recorder running for that one, he thought.

-------------------------

Scalk and Kuja had just finished carving the circle as Gulgamesh came back carrying a large heap of bloody refuse. "Here you go, he said, dumping the pile onto the floor.

A leg, an arm, a headless torso, another leg, and the head that had previously been attached to said torso all fell to the deck.

"What the hell is that?" Scalk asked.

"The guy you wanted," Guglamesh said, his tone confused. "Something wrong?"

Scalk's eyes bulged. "I said we needed him alive, you cretin! Does this look alive to you?!"

"Oh," the raptor said quietly. "I thought you said "in five" - you know, five pieces? At least I did what I thought you asked me to do!"

"Gulgamesh, either bring me a survivor or we're using you."

The raptor gulped.

[Vehrec]

This was the nuttiest combat scene I have Ever seen. Seriously. Chaos combat shouldn't be so funny. Stop making me laugh!
"I thought you said 'in five'." Indeed. A perfectly honest mistake.

[consequences]

Really, who did put the slowest runner with the noisiest weapon on this team? Whoever they, they should be handed to Abaddon to be made an example.

[The Yosemite Bear]

It LIVES!!

like Kane, it just won't die, even if you fire an Ion Cannon at it. (let that be a lesson to the Tau)

[Ford Prefect]

I saw this.

I joined Gulgamesh in screeching.

That was so hilarious, and I think I can forsee Guardsman Bass' future in this story.

[LadyTevar]

I was just commenting yesterday that I'd not seen this in a while! *HUGGLES KUJA* Hoorah, Horray, Kaloo, Kallay!

[Captain Cyran]

Really, who did put the slowest runner with the noisiest weapon on this team? Whoever they, they should be handed to Abaddon to be made an example.

OR.

We could all trust that I know what I'm doing, and that if you don't I'll push you out an airlock..

You don't want to practice breathing in the cold black do you?

[HSRTG]

Ah, 40k humor. Uniquely refreshing. Thanks.

Speaking of 40k humor, where's Rogue 11? I like Firewarrior. A lot.

[consequences]

Really, who did put the slowest runner with the noisiest weapon on this team? Whoever they, they should be handed to Abaddon to be made an example.

OR.

We could all trust that I know what I'm doing, and that if you don't I'll push you out an airlock..

You don't want to practice breathing in the cold black do you?

You have to enter the reach of my blade to push me out an airlock, leaderboy.

Besides, if you can't kill a hundred Imperial Guardsman in a vacuum in your underwear with your bare hands, they don't let you out of the World Eater scout company.

[Ford Prefect]

Besides, if you can't kill a hundred Imperial Guardsman in a vacuum in your underwear with your bare hands, they don't let you out of the World Eater scout company.

Anyone could win against a hundred Imperial Guardsman in a vacuum; all you have to do is freeze slower.

[Kuja]

Besides, if you can't kill a hundred Imperial Guardsman in a vacuum in your underwear with your bare hands, they don't let you out of the World Eater scout company.

Anyone could win against a hundred Imperial Guardsman in a vacuum; all you have to do is freeze slower.

I declare this to be win.

[fusion]

perfect to see it aliveded and welleded

[consequences]

Besides, if you can't kill a hundred Imperial Guardsman in a vacuum in your underwear with your bare hands, they don't let you out of the World Eater scout company.

Anyone could win against a hundred Imperial Guardsman in a vacuum; all you have to do is freeze slower.

No one ever accused World Eaters of an overabundance of critical thinking skills, did they?

[CaptainChewbacca]

This fic is made of awesome, win, and Chuck Norris' beard. I daresay at this point you could set up a donation link and we'd pay you to write more.

But... don't do that, ok?