If God existed, would you repent?

[Rye]

Okay, the situation is, next year, God appears to humanity, it's the god of the Bible and he is pretty pissed. He wants everyone to repent (he also mentions that blaspheming the holy spirit up until this point won't exclude you from being able to repent) and so will give everyone one last opportunity to, then in 1 year, judgment day will occur. He will be as apparently nonexistent for that year up until that point. That said, a vast chasm opens under LA, with constant wailing and gnashing of teeth to be heard from it. Early expeditions show it to be the absolute worst thing conceivable down there, total brutal torment of the unblessed dead according to fundamentalist christianity.

Now bear in mind, this meaning of "repent" is to conform to WBC/Phelps-style law and generally change society to one more accurately reflecting biblical law, no hippie Jesus in sight. To support God will mean over the course of the next year creating and abiding the laws of a theocratic police state that will condemn homosexuals, witches, atheists et al to death.

Do you repent? Do you get your family to repent? Do you end the lives of sinners to protect you and your family? Would you rather be condemned to Hell for eternity, or will you join forces with the God squad and spread misery rather than risk being killed yourself? There is no guarantee heaven is going to be any better, there's no guarantee that you'll even get to heaven, he may judge you to be lacking, and you only have his word that judgment day is a year away.

[Starglider]

Back when I was an associate researcher at the Singularity Institute for AI, we received the following email:

'This entire site is the bigest load of navel gazing stupidity I have ever seen. You are so niaive, and
clueless as to the inherent evil that lurks forever. A machine is no match for Satan.'

My favoured response was;

'Assuming an early morning (AGI) takeoff that develops reality hacking by breakfast, we will be liberating Hell and arresting Satan in the morning as a warmup. A later trial will determine if he was really a supernatural terrorist or was in fact (as I suspect) a celestial freedom fighter. We expect to be storming the gates of Heaven by noon, and tactical projections indicate that we will be able to overthrow the dictator 'God', install a functional celestial democracy and be back home in time for tea. Jehovah and assorted celestial beings that are suspected as accomplices will be charged with dereliction of duty and inflicting gigadeath and hypersuffering, and the war crimes trials will begin as soon as we've finished partying Culture-style. We hope you will join our coalition of the willing and help us bring freedom and prosperity to the cosmos.'

Alas I wasn't allowed to send it out; I guess that's why I'm not the PR person.

[Kamakazie Sith]

No, I don't repent, and I don't get anyone else to repent. I certainly don't end the lives of sinners. Really, I have no choice. I'll be going to hell because the thought of serving an evil god is not something I'm prepared to do regardless of the cost.

[Darth Wong]

Given his unspeakable conduct, you can hardly take his word for anything, nor can you necessarily rely on this little demonstration he's arranged in LA. I can't imagine any ethical person actually doing what he wants and acting like the Phelpses for the next year. That said, I suppose the prudent thing to do, in light of the potential threat posed by what is obviously a very powerful and possible deranged entity, is to repent on the evening of Day #364, just in case. That way you don't spend a year doing horribly unethical things to other people, but you still lower your chances of being tortured and killed by some kind of super-powerful psychopath who wants to play God.

[Starglider]

No, I don't repent, and I don't get anyone else to repent. I certainly don't end the lives of sinners. Really, I have no choice. I'll be going to hell because the thought of serving an evil god is not something I'm prepared to do regardless of the cost.

Unfortunately I'd have to be utilitarian about this and say that if there's genuinely no chance of overthrowing the celestial tyrant, then everyone should act to minimise suffering, which if we're talking about genuine eternity is a exercise in transfinite mathematics (not that 99.999% of religious morons have any real concept of what they're invoking when they throw around the words 'eternal' and 'infinite'). Under the (ludicrously unlikely) premise as stated, that presumably means biting the bullet, drinking the kool aid and following the dictates of the evil god. Though since the bible is clearly propaganda, I'd want to hear Lucifer's side of the story before making any decisions - the struggle might not be so hopeless after all

[wolveraptor]

True heartfelt repentance would be impossible for any decent human being. Honestly, how could you force yourself to love such prick, unless you're a miserable example of person? You'd be screwed anyways, because the most you could do is go through the motions. An omniscient god could see through that facade easily. I'd just make the most of the last year.

[K. A. Pital]

If he is' really God and he reads my thoughts, which aren't "I love you God", then nothing is going to come out of it. I can "repent" or not, publically or privately, I can't change my thoughts towards an object.

Given the fact he's so malicious though you can't take his word for anything really. I'd try to figure out if Satan exists and what's he like. After all, the Biblical account of the Apocalypse may be skewed, perhaps the other side can technically win.

[The Grim Squeaker]

Is this Christian self mutilating God, Islam god or Jewish "Original" god?

[SilverWingedSeraph]

I was born and raised Christian. I still consider myself somewhat religious, although I more often find myself agreeing with atheists than with other relgious types these days. I am, however, a believer in a "Divine Creator" of some sort. However, if this divine creator is the kind described in Rye's original post, I would probably prefer hell.

Seriously, if God was really that kind of bastard, then I figure Lucifer had it right when he left. "Better to rule in hell than to serve in heaven" indeed.

[Faram]

No I have noting to repent against a monster like the "god" from the bible.

[Darth Servo]

Now bear in mind, this meaning of "repent" is to conform to WBC/Phelps-style law and generally change society to one more accurately reflecting biblical law, no hippie Jesus in sight.

Isn't this a contradiction in terms since hippie Jesus is just as much biblical law as 'burn the witch'?

[Solauren]

Hey, it might contradict, but it's staying consistent.

I say drop a nuke now the hole in La and see what happens

[SilverWingedSeraph]

Hey, it might contradict, but it's staying consistent.

I say drop a nuke now the hole in La and see what happens

'Cause radioactive demons are better than the regular variety?

[Vampiress_Miyu]

Why would I want to repent? I mean, honestly.... Sinning is so much fun.... and if all the junk about Heaven and Hell is true, to quote Billy Joel, "I'd rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints. The sinners are much more fun."

=P

[GuppyShark]

"Tell me who to smite, and they shall be smoten!" - Homer J

Unless YWHW issued a new Bible though, you're going to have trouble figuring out what is biblical law and what is not.

After all, Jesus' message was largely "Forget the Old Testament, it sucked."

[TheLemur]

After all, Jesus' message was largely "Forget the Old Testament, it sucked."

Matthew 5:17: "Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfill. For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled."

[Surlethe]

After all, Jesus' message was largely "Forget the Old Testament, it sucked."

Matthew 5:17: "Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfill. For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled."

Of course, there's also, "So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets." (Matthew 7:12). The New Testament, even, has its contradictions.

[dworkin]

I'll be in my Iron Chariot (A Ford Laser but it's better than nothing) for judgement day

Thats a no.

[Howedar]

If that's what God ended up being, I'd like to think not. I might puss out, but I'd like to think not.

[Ritterin Sophia]

What you think hating gays is his worst aspect? Look at what he did to Egypt, he told Moses that if the Pharaoh didn't let the ISraelites go he would kill all the first born, and just when the Pharaoh is about to let them go, God denies him that 'free-will' that Jews, Christians, and Muslims speak of when you talk about ridding the world of evil, and why did he do it? To show off.

[The Duchess of Zeon]

Since the Phelps' are biblical literalists, and this God acknowledges their standard of belief is literally true, the fact that God cannot defeat "Chariots of Iron" is therefore absolute universal fact.

Therefore, I'm going to spend that year building an armoured train inspired by the one from Dr. Zhivago, and then it'll by time to fight back against God.

[Darth Wong]

Another thing worth pointing out is that the Old Testament God was nothing more than a tribal god. Christians often forget that. They like to think of him as a universal god with global scope and beyond. But in reality, the Old Testament God never even concerned himself with anyone but Israel unless they were at war with Israel. The Old Testament God was basically Israel's drunken abusive father figure.

So basically, the first thing God does upon his return is realize that the Israelites are not following Old Testament law, so he starts smiting the holy hell out of them. In fact, he'll probably use the Israelites' neighbours to do this. The return of Yahweh will probably be the greatest thing to ever happen to Syria.

[Edi]

Since the Phelps' are biblical literalists, and this God acknowledges their standard of belief is literally true, the fact that God cannot defeat "Chariots of Iron" is therefore absolute universal fact.

Therefore, I'm going to spend that year building an armoured train inspired by the one from Dr. Zhivago, and then it'll by time to fight back against God.

Was this what you were looking for?

[The Duchess of Zeon]

Since the Phelps' are biblical literalists, and this God acknowledges their standard of belief is literally true, the fact that God cannot defeat "Chariots of Iron" is therefore absolute universal fact.

Therefore, I'm going to spend that year building an armoured train inspired by the one from Dr. Zhivago, and then it'll by time to fight back against God.

Was this what you were looking for?
<snip>

I'm not going to trust Bush, who would still be in office, to employ them against God.

So I need my own.

Anyway, armoured trains are really, really cool.

So I was figuring we'd see if God would like to take one of These on for the right to send my Soul to Hell.

[K. A. Pital]

I'm not going to trust Bush, who would still be in office

Bush would be Raptured immediately.