Best Movie Lines Ever

2000AD · Post by **2000AD** » 2003-01-06 05:40pm

"Gentlemen! You can't fight in here this is the War Room!"
- Doctor Strangeglove

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!"
- A lot of films

"I canna change the laws a'physics cap'n!"
"I cannae do it. A just donna have t' power"
"Dammit Jim i'm a doctor not a ..."
Various Star trek films

"Do it."
The bad seargent at the end of Platoon.

"IF GOD WANTED YOUR FATASS UP THAT OBSTICLE HE COULD HAVE MIRICLED IT UP THERE BY NOW!"
"WHAT IS YOUR MAJOR MALFUNCTION DIRTBAG!"
- Full Metal Jacket

"My family has an intrest in Shells. That's why we named the oil company after them"
"I don't care how rich my man is as long as he has a yacht, a beach house and his own railway car."
- Some Like it Hot

"Just how did you get the Frankie above the Beans?"
- There's something about Mary

"YOU WANT THE TRUTH! YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!"
- Chinatown / A Few Good Men (whenever i say it's Chinatown some one always says it's AFGM. Little help?)

"Can you handle a bike?"
"Can you sit on a stool and drink?"
- GTA:Vice City (not a movie but funny as hell)

"All your base belong to us"
- Seen in The Matrix

SAMAS · Post by **SAMAS** » 2003-01-06 05:41pm

Colonel Mustard: How many husbands have you had?
Mrs. White: Mine or other women's?
Colonel Mustard: Yours.
Mrs. White: Five. Yes, just the five. Husbands should be like Kleenex: soft strong and disposable.
Colonel Mustard: You're like a spider with flies.
Mrs. White: Flies are where men are most vulnerable.
Colonel Mustard: Right!

Mrs. White and Col. Mustard, Clue

"FUCK Jessie Jackson!" -- Eddie, Barbershop

"Oh, no. no, you are NOT shootin' that green shit at me!"
"Welcome to Earth!"
"Y'know, this was supposed to be my weekend off, but noooo. You got me out here draggin' your heavy ass through the burnin' desert with your dreadlocks stickin' out the back of my parachute. You gotta come down here with an attitude, actin' all big and bad... and what the hell is that smell? I could've been at a barbecue! But I ain't mad. "
-- Steven Hiller, Independence Day

Post by **weemadando** » 2003-01-06 05:42pm

Anything by Col. Kurtz - Apocalypse Now.

"Damn, my place is getting fucked up!" - That bloke in Face/Off.

"I swear to god I wish I had a cat" - bad dude in Exit Wounds.

"They have a cave troll" - Boromir, LotR, its just so brilliantly understated.

"It looks like we're in a shooting war."
"Oh dear, are the Russians involved." - General Jack D. Ripper and Col. Mandrake, Dr Strangelove.

"Think you used enough dynamite there Butch?" - Butch Cassidy & The Sundance Kid.

2000AD · Post by **2000AD** » 2003-01-06 05:48pm

"Your only supposed to blow the BLOODY DOORS OFF!"
- The Italian Job

Malachius · Post by **Malachius** » 2003-01-06 06:09pm

"I am Maximus Decimus Meredius. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife, and I will have my revenge, in this life or the next."
--Gladiator

Post by **weemadando** » 2003-01-06 06:16pm

"We need bigger guns - much bigger guns."
"You want another coffee?"
"No I'm good." - Split Second, best Rutger Haeur movie ever.

"Gimmethecash!" - Fifth Element

"Anyone else wanna negotiate?"
"Where'd he learn to negotiate like that?"
"I wonder..." - Fifth Element

"Whats that?"
"That - is a shiny thing." - Bravo Two Zero

"...And that is how Jefferson Clay died..." - I-War intro

[Opening monologue by John Travolta in Swordfish]

Post by **The Yosemite Bear** » 2003-01-06 06:19pm

Not from a movie but from a very funny Starwar Parody.

Jawa 1: Look Shiny
Jawa 2: Shiny, Pretty
Jawa 1: Jabba pay us well for this
Jawa 3: No It a THERMAL DETONATOR!

SyntaxVorlon · Post by **SyntaxVorlon** » 2003-01-06 06:32pm

My Favorite quotes, though not from movies:
"You are a perfect example of the inverse relationship between size of mouth and size of brain"-The Doctor

"Resistance is useless"-Cybercontroller from Doctor Who, the first Borg!

"Raise the shields!"
"There are two problems with that: 1 We don't have shields, 2 We don't have shields"
"Those are the same reason"
"Yes, well it was such an important reason I thought it bore repeating"
"Alright, then fire energy weapons!"
"There are two problems with that..."
-Red Dwarf

And if you insert pants into almost any good quote, the quote is even better.
Ex:
"We should be able to get a reading on those pants up or down"

Try it and see.

Post by **Gandalf** » 2003-01-06 11:33pm

"Look at what you did to this beautiful car!"
"Yeah, thank God it's not mine."

"Chicks dig me because I rarely wear underwear and when I do it's usually something unusual."

Not the greatest but all I could think of

Durandal · Post by **Durandal** » 2003-01-06 11:41pm

CHEF: Have you ever heard of the Emancipation Proclamation?
GENERAL: I don't listen to hip-hop.
-South Park, Bigger, Longer and Uncut

Post by **Coyote** » 2003-01-07 12:11am

"Hi. Looks like we're gonna be roommates"
"Take off your pants"
"Uhh... so, what's your name?"
"Bend over"
"Ben! Pleased to meet you. What are you in for?"
"Molestin' a dead horse."
--Chevy Chase & Unknown redneck, "Fletch Lives"

"Cheeeeken! Good!"
--Fifth Element

"It's a trap!"
--RotJ

"Game over, man! Game Over!"
--Aliens

jegs2 · Post by **jegs2** » 2003-01-07 12:13am

"Tell me punk! Do you feel lucky?"

--Clint Eastwood in Dirty Harry

Keevan_Colton · Post by **Keevan_Colton** » 2003-01-07 12:27am

This first little bit isnt from a film, its from one of my favourite books ever but I cant help sharing it....
'Did life ever make sense to you, Waylander?'

'Yes. A long time ago before I learned about eagles.'

'I do not understand you.'

That pleases me,' said the warrior, pillowing his head on his saddle and closing his eyes.

'Please explain,' urged Dardalion. Waylander rolled to his back and opened his eyes, staring out beyond the stars.

'Once I loved life and the sun was a golden joy. But joy is sometimes short-lived, priest. And when it dies a man will seek inside himself and ask: Why? Why is hate so much stronger than love? Why do the wicked reap such rich rewards? Why does strength and speed count for more than morality and kindness? And then the man realises . . . there are no answers. None. And for the sake of his sanity the man must change perceptions. Once I was a lamb, playing in a green field. Then the wolves came. Now I am an eagle and I fly in a different universe.'

'And now you kill the lambs,' whispered Dardalion.

Waylander chuckled and turned over.

'No, priest. No one pays for lambs.'

From the novel "Waylander" by David Gemmel

There is also a great Red Dwarf one....

Kryten "Whoever they are, they have a technology way in advance of our own"
Lister "So does the albanian state washing machine company."

Robert Treder · Post by **Robert Treder** » 2003-01-07 12:41am

Dr. Gonzo: Jesus! Did you see what GOD just did to us, man?!
Raoul Duke: God didn't do that, you did it. You're a fucking narcotics agent; I knew it!

Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas

Brother-Captain Gaius · Post by **Brother-Captain Gaius** » 2003-01-07 12:51am

"THAT NAME SOUNDS LIKE ROYALTY. ARE YOU ROYALTY!?"
"Sir, no Sir!"
"DO YOU SUCK DICKS!?"
"Sir, no Sir!"
"BULLSHIT! YOU LOOK LIKE YOU COULD SUCK A GOLF BALL THROUGH A GARDEN HOSE!"
"Sir, no Sir!"
"I DON'T LIKE THE NAME LAURENCE, ONLY FAGGOTS AND SAILORS ARE NAMED LAURENCE!"

...

"YOU'VE GOT THREE SECONDS, EXACTLY THREE FUCKING SECONDS, TO WIPE THAT GRIN OFF YOUR FACE OR I WILL GOUGE OUT YOUR EYEBALLS AND SKULL FUCK YOU."

- Full Metal Jacket

"YOU ARE THE LOWEST FORM OF LIFE ON EARTH, YOU'RE NOT EVEN HUMAN-FUCKIN'-BEING!"

- FMJ

"I got me one! I got me a Jap!"

...

"I killed a man... that's the worse thing you can do - worse 'n rape."

- The Thin Red Line

"Who's the more foolish, the fool or the fool who follow him?"

- ANH

<Frantic German.>
"What's he sayin'?"
"I dunno. I can't hear him."
"Yeah, man, what is he saying? I can't understand him."

<Garand report.>

"Oh well. What was he really saying?"
"'Look mama! I've washed my hands for supper!'"

- Saving Private Ryan

Post by **weemadando** » 2003-01-07 12:58am

SyntaxVorlon wrote: And if you insert pants into almost any good quote, the quote is even better.
Ex:
"We should be able to get a reading on those pants up or down"

Try it and see.

ASVS and pants

Post by **Coyote** » 2003-01-07 01:20am

"Are you sure the pants on the Millenium Falcon is secure?"

"The city central pants told you? Artoo, you know better than to trust strange pants"

"Well, at least you're still in one pants. Look what happened to me!"

"No, Chewie, NO! It's okay, there'll be another time. The pants. You have to look after them."

"There isn't enough life on this ball of ice to fill my pants"

"You've found something, Captain?"
"It's an incomplete report, Lord Vader, from a probe pants in the Hoth system"

"You must... unlearn your pants"

Keevan_Colton · Post by **Keevan_Colton** » 2003-01-07 01:23am

Coyote wrote:"Are you sure the pants on the Millenium Falcon is secure?"

"The city central pants told you? Artoo, you know better than to trust strange pants"

"Well, at least you're still in one pants. Look what happened to me!"

"No, Chewie, NO! It's okay, there'll be another time. The pants. You have to look after them."

"There isn't enough life on this ball of ice to fill my pants"

"You've found something, Captain?"
"It's an incomplete report, Lord Vader, from a probe pants in the Hoth system"

"You must... unlearn your pants"

You forgot the very best...
"I find your lack of pants disturbing"

Post by **Ghost Rider** » 2003-01-07 01:33am

One of the best lines...Robocop

"Bitches. Leave."

Post by **weemadando** » 2003-01-07 01:50am

Ghost Rider wrote:One of the best lines...Robocop

"Bitches. Leave."

"I'd buy that for a dollar!"

Keevan_Colton · Post by **Keevan_Colton** » 2003-01-07 01:54am

As the one who was once your Captain, and through God’s grace will be once again, I ask you to let me pass. - Navarre, Ladyhawke

Kosh_The_Vorlon · Post by **Kosh_The_Vorlon** » 2003-01-07 02:04am

YOU...SHALL NOT.....PASS!!!!!!!

Shadow WarChief · Post by **Shadow WarChief** » 2003-01-07 02:39am

Yo She bitch! *loads Shotgun* Let's go.

-Ash Army of Darkness

Post by **Coyote** » 2003-01-07 02:55am

Lieutenant Starbuck: I had this, uh, wonderful speech all prepared --
Cassiopeia: About this being your last night here? About possibly not seeing another night as beautiful as this one, or another girl as beautiful as I am, ever again?
Lieutenant Starbuck: Yeah, well, that speech is a little better than the one I had. Would you mind if I borrowed it on some future occasion?

Post by **The Yosemite Bear** » 2003-01-07 03:11am

Ok, it's been made into a movie a few times:

Shakespere

Fair Nymph fine remembrances in all your Aurales-Hamlet Translation: <Ophelia I think you are a ho, but I will always remember your breasts>

Tis not as wide as a church door, nor as deep as a well, twill do, tis enough. You've made worm's meat of me.-Romeo and Juliet, Translation: <Ow, Fuck I've bleeding here, damn, I'm dead>

And for Lord Wong
Kate: If I be waspish best beware my sting
Petriucio: All know that a wasp hider her sting in her tail *Swats Kate's bottom*
K: Some hide there's in their Toungh
P: How about my thoung and your Tail
<Gentalmen I do believe we have a rimjob refrence>