The God Delusion

Stark · Post by **Stark** » 2007-05-21 12:15am

Flash keeps them as pets. They come around, he debates them, they get antsy and leave. They always come back in a few weeks with even more stupid shit.

SirNitram · Post by **SirNitram** » 2007-05-21 12:18am

Water hose. Doesn't matter what kind of God their peddling, a few seconds of the 'mist' setting with REALLY COLD WATER and they're off to bother someone else.

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2007-05-21 12:22am

Frankly, I think all of these people who claim to answer the door nude are bullshitting. It seems really doubtful that someone will see someone at the door, assume from the appearance that they must be Jehovah's Witnesses, and be so profoundly confident in this assessment that he will hurriedly strip down and then answer the door in the nude.

As for me, I've developed certain lines that I know will tick them off, like "Explain to me why I should worship your imaginary mass-murdering baby killer".

Napoleon the Clown · Post by **Napoleon the Clown** » 2007-05-21 12:25am

I once saw a sign recommended for averting proselitization:
Linked for size!

I may try and find this video on YouTube now. If nothing else, it'll help me cry myself to sleep.

Eulogy · Post by **Eulogy** » 2007-05-21 12:32am

Napoleon the Clown wrote:I once saw a sign recommended for averting proselitization:
Linked for size!

Isn't that a good way to get vandalized?

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2007-05-21 12:39am

Eulogy wrote:
Napoleon the Clown wrote:I once saw a sign recommended for averting proselitization:
Linked for size!
Isn't that a good way to get vandalized?

Christians are so easily inclined to vandalize heretical symbols that the makers of the famous "Darwin fish" car emblem sell replacement feet, because vandalism to the emblem is so common.

Lisa · Post by **Lisa** » 2007-05-21 12:40am

Never done nude, but often in just my robe, could flash them if i wanted but why should I give them the pleasure of seeing my flesh?

Napoleon the Clown · Post by **Napoleon the Clown** » 2007-05-21 12:45am

Eulogy wrote:
Napoleon the Clown wrote:I once saw a sign recommended for averting proselitization:
Linked for size!
Isn't that a good way to get vandalized?

I never said it was a good idea. I just find it amusing. I do agree it'd make you a lot more prone to vandalization of your home, however. Hell, any outward indication of not being a fellow Jesus freak increases the odds of getting your home/car vanadalized.

Cao Cao · Post by **Cao Cao** » 2007-05-21 12:59am

JWs haven't been my place for months ever since I told them I followed the way of mighty Thor. Might be a coincidence. Might not.

Ritterin Sophia · Post by **Ritterin Sophia** » 2007-05-21 01:56am

Lisa wrote:Never done nude, but often in just my robe, could flash them if i wanted but why should I give them the pleasure of seeing my flesh?

Why, to pervert them to Slaanesh, obviously.

Patrick Degan · Post by **Patrick Degan** » 2007-05-21 02:26am

Lisa wrote:Never done nude, but often in just my robe, could flash them if i wanted but why should I give them the pleasure of seeing my flesh?

One of my friends used a wrinkle on that to get rid of a pair of JWs —with the help of his girlfriend (now wife) and her teenaged daughter. They were both wearing short pants and halter-tops but quickly put on bathrobes and came to the door while he was chatting up the JWs. They both leaned on him, smiling seductively as if they were women out of a Frazetta painting, showing just enough cleavage and leg to suggest the bathrobes were all they were wearing and as an added bonus let their pentagram pendants hang out in clear view. The JWs had trouble speaking coherent sentences after that point and went away.

Alerik the Fortunate · Post by **Alerik the Fortunate** » 2007-05-21 03:05am

A friend of mine answered the JW's at the door when she was a girl with a pentagram drawn on her forehead as a gag by her brother, and they never returned. The irony of course is that she and her family are Mormons.

Singular Intellect · Post by **Singular Intellect** » 2007-05-21 09:50am

Personally, I won't mind if I get visited by JW's. I'd consider them a couple of victims of sorts. Barely useful as extremely dull rocks upon which to sharpen the intellect.

Rye · Post by **Rye** » 2007-05-21 10:06am

Last time I was visited by JWs, I said "well, I've blasphemed the holy spirit, so I'm totally unforgivable as far as christianity goes, so there's really no point in coming here." To which they replied "Well, that's God's rules," and left.

wolveraptor · Post by **wolveraptor** » 2007-05-21 05:02pm

Patrick Degan wrote:One of my friends used a wrinkle on that to get rid of a pair of JWs —with the help of his girlfriend (now wife) and her teenaged daughter. They were both wearing short pants and halter-tops but quickly put on bathrobes and came to the door while he was chatting up the JWs. They both leaned on him, smiling seductively as if they were women out of a Frazetta painting, showing just enough cleavage and leg to suggest the bathrobes were all they were wearing and as an added bonus let their pentagram pendants hang out in clear view. The JWs had trouble speaking coherent sentences after that point and went away.

Well, being a Jehovah's Witness, I think it's my duty to continue the work that my fellow JW started. Gimme the address to your friend's house. I wouldn't mind being...dissuaded from proselytization.

Justforfun000 · Post by **Justforfun000** » 2007-05-21 07:07pm

Well, being a Jehovah's Witness, I think it's my duty to continue the work that my fellow JW started. Gimme the address to your friend's house. I wouldn't mind being...dissuaded from proselytization.

LOL! You bastard. You actually had me going. I was running through my head, "He's a JW?? Holy shit, he seemed so reasonable when discussing many things and....oh fuck...I'm gonna kill him".

wolveraptor · Post by **wolveraptor** » 2007-05-23 04:02pm

Justforfun000 wrote:LOL! You bastard. You actually had me going. I was running through my head, "He's a JW?? Holy shit, he seemed so reasonable when discussing many things and....oh fuck...I'm gonna kill him".

Hell, I'd convert if it meant going door to door to check out scantily clad chicks.

But seriously, there's been a disconcerting lack of door-to-door salesme -- I mean proselytizers in my area. I live in an upper-class suburb town in the Chicagoland area, if that has anything to do with it. I really want to argue with some of those bastards.

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2007-05-23 10:07pm

Door to door salesmen of all stripes tend to be less common in upper-class neighbourhoods. It's funny but while they won't admit it, they know that as income and education go down, the likelihood of a successful sale goes up. That goes for both JWs and vacuum cleaner salesmen. You could go your whole life here in Toronto and never see a single vacuum cleaner salesman, but move out to a more redneck area and they become a regular fixture.