chick lives!

SyntaxVorlon · Post by **SyntaxVorlon** » 2003-01-05 09:56pm

I think that has to do with "Foxhole" repentence, scared soldiers repenting before battle.
Next one:
Humbug
http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0092/0092_01.asp

This one makes me genuinely angry, this idiot has bastardized the Christmas Carol into dreck.
First: Charles Dickens would be sickened by this disgusting twisting of his words. He was spinning an idealized tale of christmas to get people to show genuine human kindness, having Scrooge meet all of the pain he caused and deal with the the causes, finding the human being within him.
Second: Chick changes this story into fundamentalist dreck which Dickens would have vomited on. The Angelicans are far less religious than the Methodists or Baptists or whatever group of germanic protestant this guy represents and were closer to Catholics in rituals, though they did reform during that period.

The Dark · Post by **The Dark** » 2003-01-06 09:41pm

SyntaxVorlon wrote:I<snip>The Angelicans are far less religious than the Methodists or Baptists or whatever group of germanic protestant this guy represents and were closer to Catholics in rituals, though they did reform during that period.

Methodists aren't Germanic Protestant. We're British Protestant, descended from the Anglican Church, but more liberal in social matters. Lutherans would be Germanic Protestant. Baptists were also British, descended from the Separatists, a band of Puritans who wanted to split Church and State apart. Calvinists are rather conservative bordering on fundie, but they're Swiss in descent. Note, however, that the Presbyterian Church (a Scottish/English Church) is closer to Calvin's original theology than the so-called Calvinist Church.

InnerBrat · Post by **InnerBrat** » 2003-01-07 05:22am

The Dark wrote:Methodists aren't Germanic Protestant. We're British Protestant, descended from the Anglican Church, but more liberal in social matters. Lutherans would be Germanic Protestant.

More liberal than the CofE? Are you sure?

The Dark · Post by **The Dark** » 2003-01-07 01:25pm

innerbrat wrote:
The Dark wrote:Methodists aren't Germanic Protestant. We're British Protestant, descended from the Anglican Church, but more liberal in social matters. Lutherans would be Germanic Protestant.
More liberal than the CofE? Are you sure?

Depends on the individual segment (the UMC is a conglomerate of churches), but doctrine supports the gay rights movement. Haven't gotten the majority vote needed to ordain homosexual clergy, but it edges closer every year as the old generation dies off. The Book of Discipline contains the social principles of the UMc, located at http://www.umc.org/churchlibrary/discipline/. Overall, the UMC is devoted to world disarmament, equal rights for all people regardless of anything (including religion), and preservation of nature in concert with progress in technology. They are in favor of somatic genetic manipulation, but not germ-vectored genetic manipulation, since the former is non-inheritable, while the latter is. Organ donation is considered an act of great love, and is respected. Unfortunately, they still hold the view that abstinence from alcohol is a tenet, due to that officious busybody Welch. Other than that, the rules basically boil down to not hurting anyone and trying to improve the overall quality of life of everyone.

Post by **NecronLord** » 2003-01-07 01:46pm

That's fucking it. I'm going to do an atheist Tract.

An I'm going to mail it to Jack Chick.

Ok E-mail it.

Under the pretense of being a fundie who want's comments.

The bastard is gonna pay.

InnerBrat · Post by **InnerBrat** » 2003-01-07 02:32pm

The Dark wrote:
innerbrat wrote: Depends on the individual segment (the UMC is a conglomerate of churches), but doctrine supports the gay rights movement. Haven't gotten the majority vote needed to ordain homosexual clergy, but it edges closer every year as the old generation dies off. The Book of Discipline contains the social principles of the UMc, located at http://www.umc.org/churchlibrary/discipline/. Overall, the UMC is devoted to world disarmament, equal rights for all people regardless of anything (including religion), and preservation of nature in concert with progress in technology. They are in favor of somatic genetic manipulation, but not germ-vectored genetic manipulation, since the former is non-inheritable, while the latter is. Organ donation is considered an act of great love, and is respected. Unfortunately, they still hold the view that abstinence from alcohol is a tenet, due to that officious busybody Welch. Other than that, the rules basically boil down to not hurting anyone and trying to improve the overall quality of life of everyone.

Doesn't sound all that similar to the CofE, except this one actaully has morals. Don't forget that the Anglican Church was founded so Henry could get a divorce, and the head of the Church is chosen by the state leader (who nowadays is a Roman Catholic)

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi · Post by **Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi** » 2003-01-07 05:59pm

NecronLord wrote:That's fucking it. I'm going to do an atheist Tract.

An I'm going to mail it to Jack Chick.

Ok E-mail it.

Under the pretense of being a fundie who want's comments.

The bastard is gonna pay.

Speaking of which, has Chick done a tract on atheists? Considering he's done dozens of tracts condoming everything from Islam to condoms, I wouldn't be suprised if there was one. I'm sure that "The Great One" would qualify. That one was painfully dumb. And as usual, it depicted no-believers as flawed, arrogant, stuff like that.

SyntaxVorlon · Post by **SyntaxVorlon** » 2003-01-07 08:44pm

I thought methodists were calvinists, my mistake. But I never mentioned presbyterians. But at least the episcopalions, a sect of angelicans who worship Joe Piscipo for those that don't know(:D), aren't as pressing or depressing as baptists.
Good idea necron, maybe in a separate email you can send him all the rebukes that have been made on the two threads dedicated to the job. Quite a bit of work I may do it if I get around to it.

SyntaxVorlon · Post by **SyntaxVorlon** » 2003-01-07 09:38pm

Speaking of rebukes here's a new one:
Bewitched:
http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0045/0045_01.asp

The devil's favorite program is bewitched! That's a shocker, I would have a least thought it was Brimstone or perhaps spawn comics. Really with all the literacy going on in these things you'd think the devil would be a bigger reader, as readers are the work of the devil save for those who read the [evangelist]BIBLE.-Cue angelic choir-Cue heavenly light from above-[/evangelist]

This is now getting into politics, calling the UN the work of the devil, or the recent rise in astrology/psychics. The UN is the work of human beings that wish to keep the world's governments in check to balance power and fairness throughout the world. The devil has a rising flow chart of anarchy showing that the new world order is working out well.

Astrology's success is the work of bored idiots who believe in that sort of thing.

I would like to know why god and the devil want human souls in the first place? Do they gain power? Do they somehow gain ground in some sort of jihad? There is a distinct LACK of motivation on the parts of these beings. And if these beings are so powerful, why do they care in the least bit about humans? The premise behind all of this is flawed beyond belief.

Sin City:
http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/5003/5003_01.asp
Sue him EA!

This one is just as bad, it is morally relative and takes an entire biblical story out of context to make it less offensive.
1: Lott did not just try to keep the angels from harm, he almost gave that "homosexual mob" his own daughters in their stead. That's really showing values there.
2: This is an extremely bigotted and awful depiction of homosexuals. Calling all of them violent, bdsm fetishists is both inaccurate and simply disturbing.

One last thing I must be angry about is the very poor quality of the symbolism in this. Not the 'dove' outside the hospital window. SOO OBVIOUS!

SeebianWurm · Post by **SeebianWurm** » 2003-01-07 10:22pm

"Because god loves you"

"Because satan hates god and doesnt want him to be happy with you"

The question I ask, if it loves us so much why is there the option to not meet up with it again? I'd prefer oblivion (shall not perish) to serving such a narcissistic bastard.

SyntaxVorlon · Post by **SyntaxVorlon** » 2003-01-08 09:23pm

One would not really prefer oblivion, as appreciating it is impossible.
But Necron, I think I found the ultimate action atheism hero!!

(Hint: the one with the dog)
With the Sith Lord's permission of course.

DPDarkPrimus · Post by **DPDarkPrimus** » 2003-01-08 09:39pm

Hey, fun Bible fact! There is no actual mention that homosexuality was the cause of Sodom's destruction! It simply says that the city was full of "wicked deeds"!

What's that I hear? Your argument is falling to pieces? Whoops, sorry Chick.

Peregrin Toker · Post by **Peregrin Toker** » 2003-01-09 04:24am

SyntaxVorlon wrote:This is now getting into politics, calling the UN the work of the devil, or the recent rise in astrology/psychics. The UN is the work of human beings that wish to keep the world's governments in check to balance power and fairness throughout the world.

I sometimes wonder why it has become so popular to believe that the UN is the work of the devil??

Darth Servo · Post by **Darth Servo** » 2003-01-09 10:50am

Simon H.Johansen wrote:I sometimes wonder why it has become so popular to believe that the UN is the work of the devil??

Because they don't follow every single one of the fundies irrational beliefs. Because they actually try to work with all the "heathens" instead of exterminating them.

Einhander Sn0m4n · Post by **Einhander Sn0m4n** » 2003-01-09 11:23am

SyntaxVorlon wrote:One would not really prefer oblivion, as appreciating it is impossible.
But Necron, I think I found the ultimate action atheism hero!!

(Hint: the one with the dog)
With the Sith Lord's permission of course.

<TOTALLY OT>
I might be gay, but Mike's wife is quite hot!
</TOTALLY OT>

RedImperator · Post by **RedImperator** » 2003-01-09 01:40pm

SyntaxVorlon wrote:One would not really prefer oblivion, as appreciating it is impossible.
But Necron, I think I found the ultimate action atheism hero!!

(Hint: the one with the dog)
With the Sith Lord's permission of course.

ANNOUNCER: By day, Mike Wong was a simple engineer from Canada. He had two kids. He had a dog. He had a receding hairline. He had a wife he regularly fucked up the ass.

But by night, when the rabid Trekkies ran wild and the four stench of Creationism choked the land, he became <fanfare> LOGIC MAN! </fanfare> LOGIC MAN is seen standing in a Superman costume with a picture of Darwin instead of the letter "S" in the shield. He had a full head of thick, luxurious hair. REBECCA hangs on his arm and gazes at him adoringly.

[scene change]

TREKKIE 1: Wars weapons can't hurt the Enterprise! Their lasers won't even penetrate the navigational deflectors!

TREKKIE 2: And hyperdrive is only 1.5c! Han Solo said so!

BOTH TREKKIES: Star Trek owns Wars! TREKKIES laugh maniacally and dance in a circle around WARSIE

WARSIE: Help! Help us LOGIC MAN!

LOGIC MAN bursts through the wall

TREKKIES: Oh no! Not LOGIC MAN!

LOGIC MAN: Hark, is that TREKKIE BULLSHIT I hear? LOGIC MAN pulls out Ep. II ICS, shows TREKKIES the Acclimator page 200 GT turbolasers, hatfuckers! Suck it down, biznatches!

TREKKIES vanish in a puff of logic

WARSIE: Thanks, LOGIC MAN!

LOGIC MAN winks at WARSIE and then flies back out of the hole in the wall

ANNOUNCER: See LOGIC MAN slay Creationists wherever they may roam. Montage of various Creationists dying in amusing ways, including vanishing in puffs of logic, being crushed by falling dinosaur bones, being sucked into a tarpit, etc. See LOGIC MAN, with his loyal sidekick THE OSSINATOR battle his greatest nemesis, DARKSTAR

[scene change]

DARKSTAR: You're nothing but a huge, gaping, vagina, LOGIC MAN! I'm the Last Bastion of Trek!

OSSINATOR: Holy bloated ego, LOGIC MAN!

LOGIC MAN: Not to worry, OSSINATOR! LOGIC HADOKEN!

OSSINATOR and LOGIC MAN fire blining white beams of logic at DARKSTAR. DARKSTAR runs away, on fire

DARKSTAR: I'll get you yet, LOGIC MAN!

ANNOUNCER: See the most evil villain of them all come to destroy LOGIC MAN turn everyone into zombies with poorly drawn Christian comics!

The evil demon KCIHC KCAJ towers over Toronto, laughing manically and raining KCIHC TRACTS all over the city. Torontonians run around the streets screaming in terror. A few are holding a TRACT in their hands and staggering around chanting "Jesus is the only way to salvation" and "Buhddists are going to hell" like zombies. Camera cuts to LOGIC MAN and OSSINATOR standing on top of the CN tower, staring KCIHC KCAJ down

LOGIC MAN: Enough, foul demon! I shall banish you from this land forever!

KCIHC KCAJ cakcles You're not match for ME, LOGIC MAN! BIBLE ATTACK! KCIHC KCAJ flings a Bible the size of a parking garage at the CN tower. LOGIC MAN and OSSINATOR leap away in the nick of time, just before the tower is broken in half.

LOGIC MAN: That was the tallest freestanding manmade structure in North America! Now what are we going to lord over the Yanks? scowls You'll pay for that, KCIHC KCAJ!

KCIHC KCAJ laughs maniaclly. LOGIC MAN and OSSINATOR nod at each other and leap into battle! Montage of tracts flying, KCIHC KCAJ smashing buildings trying to swat at the two heroes, logic hadokens, flying Bibles, and LOGIC MAN flinging the SkyDome at KCIHC KCAJ like a Novelty Flying Disk

ANNOUNCER: Can LOGIC MAN stop the evil KCIHC KCAJ before he turns all of Toronto into zombies?

OSSINATOR, looking brusied and exhausted: It's no good, LOGIC MAN! His stupidity armor is too strong!

LOGIC MAN: Stand back, OSSINATOR. It's time to use the ultimate weapon.

OSSINATOR: You mean...?

LOGIC MAN: That's right! DARWIN BEAM!

OSSINATOR gasps. KCIHC KCAJ cackles KCIHC KCAJ: Your pathetic 'Evil-olution' beam can't harm my sheilds, LOGIC MAN! It's over! I have defeated you.

LOGIC MAN: I've had enough of your monkey business, KCIHC KCAJ! The Darwin face on LOGIC MAN'S costume glows bright green and suddenly shoots a DAWRIN BEAM at KCIHC KCAJ!

KCIHC KCAJ, glowing bright green: NOOOOOO! I am invincible. KCIHC KCAJ turns into an australopithicus

CITIZENS: Hooray!

REBECCA, hanging on LOGIC MAN'S arm: Ooooh, LOGIC MAN

LOGIC MAN: All this fighting evil has made me honry. slaps REBECCA'S ass Fetch me the lube, baby!

CROWD cheers. LOGIC MAN winks. In the final shot, we see KCIHC KCAJ the australopithicus being hauled off to the Toronto zoo in a truck with what appears to be a very horny silverback gorilla. Scene fades to black.

Stormbringer · Post by **Stormbringer** » 2003-01-09 03:14pm

okay we've once again come to the conclusion that Jack Chick is an incredible idiot and a major asshole.

Thread Closed.