Should I bother expanding on this?

UF: Stories written by users, both fanfics and original.

Moderator: LadyTevar

Post Reply

Should I bother expanding on this?

Yes, it looks good so far
1
100%
No, its complete crap....
0
No votes
Perhaps....
0
No votes
You think I give a damn?
0
No votes
 
Total votes: 1

User avatar
Keevan_Colton
Emperor's Hand
Posts: 10355
Joined: 2002-12-30 08:57pm
Location: In the Land of Logic and Reason, two doors down from Lilliput and across the road from Atlantis...
Contact:

Should I bother expanding on this?

Post by Keevan_Colton »

Well?
User avatar
Keevan_Colton
Emperor's Hand
Posts: 10355
Joined: 2002-12-30 08:57pm
Location: In the Land of Logic and Reason, two doors down from Lilliput and across the road from Atlantis...
Contact:

Post by Keevan_Colton »

The castle stood atop a rocky promintory, overlooking the vast city below. It was an ancient monument to a time long past, much like the within knights were a monument to a code that died long ago. A relic of a past age where chivalry and honesty actually stood for something. Below the stone fortress stood a modern city, corruption, lies and decay its foundation.
Upon the door stood a massive crest, a pair of crossed swords with an axe behind them and a wolfshead embossed on the center. Sunlight reflected from the door as the sun drifted low across the hills to the west, painfully slowly setting. As it at last dissapeared a single raven swooped down from the sky to perch on the castle battlements, along side a rusted cannon. It tilted its head, looking in towards the door leading into the castle's main buildings.
Movement stirred inside the now dark castle, deep withing far from the reach of the light of day and the dark of night.
The door before the raven opened slightly, a dark shadow filling the doorway. The raven waited, watching...the shadow moved forward into the pale moonlight. Long dark hair hung down around him, a long black leather coat draped from his shoulder and a black shirt jeans and tall boots completing his apparel. He looked over at the raven perched a few yards away.
"Punctual as ever..."
The raven inclined its head at him. He held out his arm and the raven took once more to the air for an instant before settling on the dark figures arm. He lowered his arm slightly and the raven remained perched carefully. He looked out over the city below and sighed.
"Time again my friend," he stated simply to the raven.
The raven cawed once and took to the air, heading out over the city. The dark figure began the long walk down into the city below, the raven ever circling overhead. Once again he was making his way into the city that had no respect for the code he grew up with, no respect for those that showed respect to all around them...it made him feel bitter that with so much advance so much was also lost.
In silence he reached the center of the city, looking out upon the square before him with a tall statue at its center. One of the few other relics of times past that haunted the city, the raven settled on the shoulder of the statue, looking around the square. The muted rumble of bars and nightclubs could be heard in the distance, no individual sound could be picked out but the background noise of them all permeated the night air.
In the distance there was a scream suddenly cut short.
The figure in the dark clothes started at once towards the sound, the raven taking silently to the air in the same direction, swooping over the buildings. With practiced ease a pair of short swords came free from beneath the long coat. Once more ancient vows called...
User avatar
Edi
Dragonlord
Dragonlord
Posts: 12461
Joined: 2002-07-11 12:27am
Location: Helsinki, Finland

Post by Edi »

It looks interesting so far. :)
Though it did bring to my mind The Crow, a little too much. Of course, there's just barely half a prologue here, so it probably doesn't mean anything yet. Could become a very good story. Go for it.

Edi
Post Reply